The Value Of Jigsaw Puzzles For Very Young Children

Writen by Barbara White

Jigsaw puzzles have a lot of educational value for children of all ages. This is because to do a jigsaw requires a child to use several different aspects of the thinking process.

A baby learns to recognize objects by their shape and not necessarily what position the object is in. A chair is a chair whether it is upright, lying down, or upside down-it doesn't matter. The simple puzzles produced for younger children develop more refined and defined skills and recognition.

One of the first things a young child will learn is that it does matter which way up the pieces to fit in the hole. A typical early childhood puzzle is wooden with a picture and has spaces where the pieces fit to complete the picture. With a street scene, for example, there might be a separate car shape, bus shape, and a truck shape that complete a puzzle. These puzzles are typically robust as the first response of a child is to try to force the piece into place taking no notice of its shape. With adult guidance the young child learns to manipulate the piece until it does fit exactly.

There are several learning experiences that can be drawn from these very basic puzzles. Firstly it's the hand eye coordination to manipulate the puzzle piece into position. To get the piece in also involves observation of the shape of the hole and the shape of the puzzle piece. At first the child deals with the problem by trial and error. The example and guidance of an adult begins to solidify the thinking process. The child starts to apply spatial awareness and mental manipulation as well as physical. This comes however, after the child has learned to put the piece in correctly through trial and error and memory.

The role of the adult at this stage is very important. The conversation about the picture, talking and demonstrating the correct method to complete it, accelerates the child's learning process. Puzzles can create a great opportunity for increase in vocabulary, and recognition of objects and situations outside the child's immediate world. The fact that the child learns that the piece only fits one way is in fact a pre reading skill. A letter needs to be the right way up and not backwards or upside down in a word.

These early childhood puzzles can be purchased in varying degrees of difficulty as the child's spatial and reasoning skills become more developed. The child also learns through puzzles the recognition of color and shape with, of course, adult conversation increasing the potential of the child's understanding and development. The green shape only fits in the green hole. This type of matching activity develops early reading skills.

At this stage it is good to introduce a new puzzle and do it with the child at first. Make this a happy social time and lots of fun. Do the puzzles with the child long enough to maintain the child's interest and attention, but be ready to move on to another activity. Eventually when the child's dexterity and confidence has increased, he will want to do it by himself. With praise and encouragement the child will practice until the skills become familiar. Then is the time to introduce puzzles with greater challenge.

Puzzles help develop the reasoning and deduction process of thinking. As well as skills such as spatial awareness, matching and sorting. Above all, jigsaw puzzles present a great opportunity for language development and a happy social interaction with your child.

Barbara White, of Beyond Better Development, has over twenty years experience as a parent, teacher and Principal. Barbara offers presentations and workshops to teachers and parents on personality and learning styles The jigsaw puzzles for young children can be purchased at http://www.thepuzzlemania.com

Has Discipline In Your Household Gone To The Dogs

Writen by Andrea Patten

What happens to our thinking when we look at ideas and behaviors in other contexts? It can certainly add new dimensions to our outlook.

For example, when we think about 'discipline' and 'dogs' most of us think in terms of obedience training. "Sit. Stay."

How often have thought about what the family dog can teach you?

Many parents seem to have grown uncomfortable with their role as family leaders, perhaps not fully appreciating its importance. Always a comfort, the family dog may be able to help you here, too.

Dogs have strong instincts about rules, order and etiquette as they relate to preserving the pack. So, for example, when a new puppy tries to take its place within a family, an older dog will make clear the rules and boundaries.

There are lots of rules. Puppies learn them all – quickly. "Here's where you can sleep. I greet the humans first. You get the second cookie and that's my squeaky toy – you can never, ever touch it." The consequences for messing up? The alpha voices his or her disapproval – with loud, dramatic barking and growling… and an occasional bite for the one who just doesn't 'get it.'

Alphas can have different styles but have much in common:

1) They don't nag – their 'word' (or look or growl) is law. Punishment for disobeying is swift and sure.

2) Alphas don't feel guilty! They know that the survival of the pack rests squarely on their ability to teach their pups proper behavior.

3) Alpha dogs do not need the pups' approval. They've got a job to do and they don't seem to care who likes or approves of them while they're getting it done.

4) Discipline takes a variety of forms – sometimes it's loud and dramatic, sometimes it's a 'time out' away from the rest of the pack…. sometimes it's just that raised eyebrow to remind the offending youngster of previous go-rounds.

5) They are fair. The intensity of the correction always matches the offense.

Families need strong, fair leadership. Kids need to know what the boundaries are and that there are consequences for violating them. And while I surely don't advocate turning family management over to our beloved pets, there's a lot they can teach us.

Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement now available on Amazon.com

To find out more about The Four Foundations of Adult Achievement please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

If you'd like to learn about other projects or explore the possibility of having Andrea speak to your group go to http://www.andreapatten.com

She can also be reached by e-mail andrea@whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

"You're not raising a child, you're raising a future adult!"

Simple Trick To Avoid Power Struggles With Your Child

Writen by Karen Alonge

Avoid power struggles by telling your child what YOU are going to do rather than demanding, ordering or yelling at them about what THEY should and shouldn't be doing.

Here's how to invite a power struggle:

Sam, pick up those blocks this instant!

Sam, with his blossoming need for autonomy, naturally bristles at being ordered around. He takes a defiant stand by saying NO. You decide to force compliance by using some form of intimidation. He calls your bluff, and next thing you know you've locked horns like rutting rams ... stuck together with no graceful exit for either of you. It's what happens when a parent tries to control his child's body and/or choices.

Thankfully, there is another way:

Sam, it's clean up time now. If there are any toys still left on the floor when this timer goes off in 5 minutes, I'll be picking them up myself and putting them away on a high shelf in the garage for awhile.

This statement leaves Sam with nothing to argue with, and there's no need for you to attempt intimidation tactics to force compliance. You're okay with whatever he chooses. In fact, if you're like me, you kinda hope he chooses to let you do it, because you wouldn't mind seeing a few less toys around the house!

You control your own body and choices. He controls his.

Power struggle averted.

Copyright 2006 Karen Alonge

Karen Alonge is an intuitive life coach and parenting consultant with 20 years of experience helping families with all types of challenges. She offers consultations by phone, email, and IM. Clients often notice dramatic changes in their daily experience after only one session. Please visit http://www.karenalonge.com for more information.

Three Surefire Ways To Teach Your Child About Safety

Writen by Michelle Annese

Levels of Safety

By teaching our children there are different levels of safety and those levels depend on the situation they are in and the decisions they make in those situations, we can better train them to use their instincts, intuition, and even fear as safety tools. This is an easy way to explain to our children how to trust these instincts.

"Every time we travel through a busy intersection, there are traffic lights there to tell us if it is safe to pass through. If the light is green, that tells us it is safe to pass, if the light is yellow that means we must use caution and to be careful and to prepare to stop. If the light turns red, that means danger and do not proceed or you may become hurt in an accident.

We can use these same lights, instead of traffic lights, as safety lights, to know when we are safe, to use caution, or to let us know we are in personal danger.

If our safety light is green….. This means we are safe and everything is normal.

If our safety light turns yellow…..This means that our intuition, instincts, or our gut feeling is telling us something is wrong!

If your safety light turns red…..This means we are in immediate danger and have to act fast.

We have to train ourselves to recognize different situations we are in and be aware when that situation makes our safety light change from green to yellow or to red.

When our safety light turns yellow this is the time to slow down listen to our little voice inside of us called intuition, think about the situation we are in, and what is the best course of action to take to keep us safe and return us to a green light. For example,

We are swimming and we notice that the water is really deep and we are becoming tired...we should return to the shallow water and take a break, which would return us to our green light. But if we continue to swim in the deep water, we may become tired and find our self in a dangerous, red light situation.

Our head is beginning to hurt and mom is a sleep… instead of waking and asking her for some medicine, we look in the medicine cabinet and find what appears to be the aspirin she normally gives us… and we take it. This is defiantly a red light situation, because you could be taking the wrong medicine and become very sick. But if you had just woke mom up and told her you had a headache, you would have stayed safely in the green light.

Someone knocks on the door of your house. Anytime this happens, as a child you need to understand that this is a yellow safety light and you need to proceed with caution. First you never open the door unless you and your parents personally know the person. Like a friend of the family or a neighbor. If you do not know the person, which means have you never seen your parents speak to this person, you never open the door. Even if they say they are a policeman, fireman, or repairman. The decision that you should make to put yourself in the green light, would be to go find your parents and let them open the door. If you open the door, you could be putting yourself in a red light dangerous situation. If your parents are not home you should never, never, open the door for anyone. This is always a safety red light.

A person at school that is known to be a bully is standing at the end of the play ground. Knowing this your safety light immediately turns yellow. If you avoid that end of the playground your light will return to green, if you go to that end of the playground you may find your self in a safety red light.

By being aware of our surroundings and making smart decisions when we are in our yellow caution light, we can get back to our green safe light and avoid the red danger light.

Remember, it is OK to be afraid when our safety light turns yellow. Fear is what helps our intuition and instincts work. We should always trust our instincts and listen to our little voice inside. Remember, our little voice is always right."

Parents, by arming our children with mental safety so they can make quick, safe decisions, it gives them the confidence and focus to handle any type of situation and safeguard them for the future.

Michelle Annese is a 3rd degree black belt specializing in self defense classes and seminars for women and children. For more information on how to protect your child from strangers, bullies, and build them up with kid power and confidence go to http://www.michelleannese.com and check out other safety articles and sign up for a free safety tips e-newsletter.

Vehicle Safety Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents And Injuries

Writen by Derrick Pizur

Child Car Seat Safety:

We know you love your children, but so many people do not follow these simple car seat safety principles. By following these easy steps you can ensure your child is completely safe in your car. Just to get one thing straight, there is no one best child car safety seat. The best car safety seat is determined by various factors that you as the parent need to take into consideration. The seat needs to fit your child's height and weight, as well as be able to fit properly in your car.

Another common misconception is price. More expensive, does not always mean better quality or the seat is better safety wise.

The first step of proper car seat safety is of course determined by the age of your child. Any child that is under the age of twelve should be kept in the back seat of a vehicle. This is especially true if your car has passenger side air bags.

Infants should be in a rear facing car seat until they are at least one year old and twenty pounds. After they are twenty pounds they can be placed in a front facing car safety seat until they are around forty pounds or they have reached the maximum height recommended for the specific car safety seat in question.

Once a child reaches forty pounds, they should be placed on a belt positioning booster seat. The vehicle's normal seat belt should not be used until they are around eighty pounds or 4ft 9 inches tall.

As always read your car's owners manual as well and any manuals with the car safety seat.

Additional Car Safety Tips:

Most accidents that occur over a parent/child incident occur when a parent is trying to turn around and discipline their child. Think about it, you are taking you eyes as well as you mind off of the primary task at hand (driving) and exclusively focusing on your child who should be, and usually is behind you in the back seat of the vehicle.

To prevent this the best thing to do if you must discipline your child is to find a place to pull over and do so then, when you are not moving.

Child Safety is our primary concern, check out these FREE child safety related resources at Child Safety Booster Seats

Character Education

Writen by Brent Sitton

Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits. One way to supplement your child's character education is to act as a filter for the movies and television shows your child watches, and to review the books your child reads.

The following categories are modeled after "The Book of Virtues for Young People," an excellent book for children in its own right, written by William Bennett. When developing a curriculum of character education for your child, it's helpful to review each children's book, television show, and movie for both positive and negative examples of each of the ten virtues outlined in "The Book of Virtues for Young People." The stronger the message, the more it will contribute to your child's character education.

Following are some ways in which the virtues can manifest as character traits in children's books, movies, and in television shows:

Self-Discipline: A character discusses his feelings of anger rather than impulsively striking out. Or, a character gets his chores done before he goes out to play.

Compassion: A character understands the pain or suffering of a friend, and steps in to help, even when it means she can't attend the party she was looking forward to.

Responsibility: A character admits it was his baseball that broke the window, and offers to pay for a replacement. Or, a character keeps her promise to babysit her younger sister, even though she'd rather go to the movies with her friends.

Friendship: A character stands up for her friend in front of her peers, even though it's not popular. Or, a character befriends the class bully in an effort to get him to change his ways.

Work: A character approaches her job with a positive attitude, and does her very best even when her boss is being unfair. Or, a character makes up a game to get through an unpleasant task, and takes pride in her work even though it goes unnoticed.

Courage: A character is afraid of the raging waters, but takes the risk and dives in to save her family. Or, a character stands up for what he believes in, even though it's unpopular.

Perseverance: A character continues to strive to make the basketball team, even though he's a foot shorter than the other players. Or, a family works together to keep their home, even though the father has lost his job and the mother is ill.

Honesty: A character admits to himself that he isn't trying his hardest. Or, a character talks to an adult about a friend in trouble, even though the friend will get angry at her.

Loyalty: A character sticks with his losing soccer team in the hope of helping them become better, rather than joining a winning soccer team. Or, a character stays at her friend's side during a serious illness or hardship.

Faith: A character reaches out to God to help him in his time of need.

When evaluating character traits and virtues in kids' books, movies, and television shows, also look at negative behavioral influences. Ideally, these influences will be minimal. Consider, for example:

Violence: Does the character hurt himself, another person, or an animal through his words or actions, and does he act without remorse?

Profanity: Does the character use foul language, sexual language, or take God's name in vain?

Nudity: Does the movie, television show, or book show or describe suggestive styles of dress or partially clothed or nude characters?

Sexual Content: Do the characters engage in implied or overt sexual behavior, or do they engage in aberrant sexual behavior?

Drugs, Alcohol, and Tobacco: Do the characters use or abuse legal or illegal substances?

Scary Elements: Are the scenarios depicted gratuitously frightening?

Negative Behaviors: Does the character show disrespect to his parents? Or, does he neglect his homework? Or, does he frighten other children?

By evaluating both the positive character traits and negative behaviors of movies, television shows, and books, and selecting those that reinforce the values and virtues that are important to you, you'll go far in developing your child's character education.

Brent Sitton is the founder of DiscoveryJourney.com. DiscoveryJourney has a variety of tools available to parents to help promote a culture of reading in your household. Discovery Journey has compiled Children's Book Reviews of books that not only engage children, but also delight parents. Our children's book reviews identify character trait and child behavior issues in the book to discuss as a family. Each children's book review contains related fun and educational kid activity to enjoy as a family, inspiring the passion for learning and reading!

Parents Complaints Arrogant Public Schools Turn A Deaf Ear

Writen by Joel Turtel

School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation and participation in their children's education. They complain when parents don't show up for parent-teacher conferences or push their children to do their homework.

Yet this constant cry for parent cooperation is often a smoke screen pretense to make parents think they have some control over their children's education. In most cases, parents have no such control. Teachers and principals may placate parents or ask for their cooperation, but they rarely make the important changes parents ask for.

For example, most parents want their children to learn to do basic arithmetic without using calculators as a crutch. A poll by Public Agenda found that 86 percent of parents want students to learn arithmetic by hand before they use calculators. However, the math-teaching policy for most public schools today is that all children beginning in kindergarten have access to calculators at all times to do math problems.

Most school districts make important teaching-method or curriculum decisions in secret, without parents' knowledge or approval. A parent's only recourse is to complain to principals or school authorities after these authorities have dictated their curriculum or teaching methods, and the parent sees the damage to their children. Unfortunately, such complaints are often futile.

Most parents don't realize that school authorities don't want their opinion. Too often, school authorities ignore parents' suggestions or complaints because they truly believe they are the experts and parents are just annoying amateurs. As a result, some teachers, principals, or administrators feel insulted when parents make suggestions or complaints. Many school officials believe parents should not have any real input in their children's education. That is one reason why school authorities hold their committee meetings in secret.

Another reason is that school authorities fear that parents will complain about certain classes and curriculum subjects. For instance, many public schools have introduced classes and books about homosexuality into elementary and high-school sex-education classes. When parents find out about these classes, they frequently complain to the school principal and local politicians. To avoid these complaints, public schools often try to keep secret from parents what they teach in these sex-ed classes.

Moreover, teachers, principals, and school authorities don't have to listen to those amateur, irritating parents who complain that their kids can't read. Public-school employees get tenure after a few years. That means, in effect, that it's almost impossible to fire them, no matter how bad or even mediocre they are. If you couldn't be fired, would you care about parent's complaints? That's why they don't, and that's why public-school teachers or principals can be arrogant or indifferent to parent's legitimate complaints.

Parents, the solution is to stop hitting your head against the brick wall of arrogant public-school employees. Just walk around the wall and don't look back. That is, consider taking your children out of public school and find real education choice and control in the education free-market. Consider homeschooling or some of the many quality, low-cost, K-12 Internet private schools listed in the Resource section of "Public Schools, Public Menace."

Joel Turtel is an education policy analyst, and author of "Public Schools, Public Menace: How Public Schools Lie To Parents and Betray Our Children."

Contact Information:
Website: http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com,
Email: lbooksusa@aol.com,
Phone: 718-447-7348.

Article Copyrighted © 2005 by Joel Turtel.
NOTE: You may post this Article on an Ezine, newsletter, or other website only if you include Joel Turtel's complete contact information, and set up a hyperlink to Joel Turtel's email address and website URL, http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com

Helping Your Child With Sensory Needs Back To School

Writen by Christopher Auer

The lazy days of summer are slowly winding down as the new school year approaches. You may find yourself in need of some transitional activities or ideas to help your child with sensory processing disorder. Here are some suggestions:

1. Ask your child about what tangible type objects give her comfort. Or ask about what types of things he likes doing to feel more comfortable? Phrase questions as concretely as possible and also to your child's understanding. The object might be something like a soft, squeezable stuffed animal or a hand fidgit she can quietly manipulate when she feels over sensitized. It may be a chewable something like a straw, gum or rubbery object. Whatever "it" is listen to what your child is telling you he needs in order to feel more secure. You may find that you already have that something within your possession. If not, don't fret. You can be creative with your child in designing the "comfort item" at home with materials you already possess or going to your local discount retailer to obtain it at little extra cost.
2. Often choosing a few summer closing activities your child enjoys doing is a good way of transitioning to a new situation. Be creative with your child in choosing these and make it more fun by having the rule be that the activity has to be at little or no expense. Some of my favorites are: packing a picnic and taking a walk to a nearby park to have it. I have each child pick and help make at least one of their favorite foods from some "sensible" choices offered (this way I am more assured of them eating more healthfully). We also like going to a nearby horse stable that offers pony rides for $5 for as long as the kids can ride. This gives the children much needed work on balance and coordination as well as interaction with animals. Be creative and work together to come up with ideas!

For more ideas of transitional activities, I suggest talking together as a family to find out what everyone likes and dislikes. Try to come up with ideas that provide the most sensory need for the buck.

Christopher R. Auer, MA is the author of Parenting a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder: A Family Guide to Understanding and Supporting Your Sensory Sensitive Child (New Harbinger, 2006) Additional information at http://www.spdresources.com or email spdresources@comcast.net

5 Quick Parenting Tips To Help You Raise A Smarter Baby

Writen by Jennifer L. Wilson

Parents across the nation have discovered that by implementing a few fun and simple activities into their baby's daily routine have resulted in dramatically enhanced reading, writing, walking, and talking capabilities. The secret they say is to start early.

Parenting a baby these days is much more than feeding, changing and bathing. There are a few extra steps involved if you want your baby to get started on the right foot. Baby's little brains are like sponges, they are ready to soak up living and life skills from the moment they are born. It's the parent's job to give them all the wonderful stimulants they possibly can in order to give them a solid intellectual foundation to build upon as they grow.

For instance, playing music for your baby is a wonderful way to stimulate his mind. Many parenting magazines recommend playing lullabies for your baby at night, but what about the rest of the day? Babies enjoy music just as much as parents do. In fact, many parents find that the type of music they play directly affects their baby's mood.

Reading to your baby is a key factor in developing his speech and language capabilities. It is vital that you get in the habit of reading to your baby as often as possible. You should read interesting books with big bright pictures and a few long sentences so that he can begin developing speech patterns and vocabulary enunciation. Some parents even found that their baby enjoyed it when they read regular grown up type books as well. Babies enjoy the rhythmic sounds of their parent's voices as they read, even if there are no brightly colored pictures to look at.

Another very important point I must make about language and speech development is to speak to your baby in complete sentences. Try to speak to your baby as you would any other member of your family. Most parents don't think their baby will understand when they say, "It's almost dinner time, are you hungry?" But the fact of the matter is that babies are quite capable of understanding words as you speak to them, especially if you repeatedly say them as part of your daily routine.

Another extremely beneficial element to help your baby build a solid foundation is to teach him a few words to express himself using baby sign language. Yes, I know, your baby isn't deaf, but studies have shown that babies do indeed have the ability to use language to express their needs as early as 7 months old, they just don't have the motor skills to put their thoughts into words. Parents who teach their baby sign language enjoy communicating with their baby much earlier than waiting for them to learn to speak.

Just imagine, your baby will be able to tell you when he's hungry, tired or wants more food rather than you trying to guess what he needs. There are so many wonderful benefits to teaching your baby sign language; I can't possibly explain them all here. I have written an in-depth article about baby sign language here if you want to learn more about this extraordinary new communication technique.

My final parenting suggestion is to make sure he has age appropriate toys to play with in order to build and develop his fine motor skills. Make sure he has a wide variety of activities to keep his mind and his little hands busy. Babies love to explore all kinds of textures, colors, sizes and shapes. Be sure to give him small items, (not too small however) large items, soft and hard toys, noisy and quiet activities too. Here is a helpful parenting hint: sometimes the toys that are the most fun really aren't supposed to be toys at all.

Jennifer L. Wilson is a Childcare Specialist and author of the Bright Beginnings Baby Care Guide where she teaches parents how to give their baby a Smart Start from day one. She also provides parenting tips, baby care articles, news and resources at her website: BabyCareConnection.com.

Childrens Mistakes

Writen by Diane Overgard

Peter was a fisherman, originally named Simon, whom Jesus chose to be one of his followers. An impulsive personality, Peter was prone to making mistakes. Several of Peter's blunders are recorded in the Bible books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. He speaks without thinking, acts impulsively, and breaks promises. He sounds like any one of us! However, as we continue to read about his life, we see that Peter obviously learned from his mistakes. He goes on to become a recognized leader among Jesus' disciples. Jesus wasn't looking for a perfect person when he selected Peter, and he isn't looking for perfection in us or in our children. Jesus expects us to make mistakes, plenty of them, and then use those mistakes to learn what we need to lead our lives for him.

What is a parent to do about children's mistakes? It's a parent's role to take on an attitude that says, "Mistakes are opportunities to learn." We are to stop and understand why our children's mistakes have occurred, and then move forward.

It's not easy for parents to allow children to make mistakes. When our kids make mistakes, we feel inadequate. When we aren't able to control our child's behavior, we panic. If there is another adult within earshot, we are concerned about what they think about us as parents.

Some mistakes are easier than others to accept. When a toddler trips and falls down on the living room floor, that's OK; he's just learning to walk. Of course a first grader will mispronounce a word now and then; he's only learning to read. But how about a two year old throwing a temper tantrum? Am I able to say that she's learning to express her feelings? What about a teenager missing curfew? Am I able to say that she's in the process of learning responsibility?

Mistakes help kids learn skills they need for life: problem solving, negotiation, and resourcefulness. Let kids make mistakes! They will grow through opportunities to face a challenge, attempt a solution, sometimes feel failure, but eventually experience the satisfaction of a problem solved.

Diane Overgard, CFLE, has been involved in parent education and staff training, guiding parents and their children in active learning environments. As a Certified Family Life Educator, Diane's skill in combining child development theory with practical applications gives the why as well as the how of strengthening relationships. Find out how to book Family Impact for your church or home small groups by visiting http://www.familyimpact.net

My Sweet Little Valentine

Writen by Mehnaz Ansari

Valentine day has always been a special day in my life since Naseer, my husband proposed me to marry him a few years back. Since then, we never missed the chance of cherishing and celebrating every Valentine's Day. But this year we were neither together nor celebrating, yet it was very beautiful. I had the sweetest valentine with me this time and he was snuggled comfortably in to my arms. I am on my journey back home from the air show and am enjoying every moment of my valentine's day.

I have always loved taking challenges and am an ardent believer that a good homemaker can be a successful career woman as well. Therefore, this time while representing my company in the air show, I decided to take the plunge of proving myself to be an ideal mother and a good air show manager. I traveled alone with my four-month-old baby from Delhi- Bangalore and back. Mind you, it is quite an experience balancing home world with the corporate world. My onward journey on 4th Feb was still better because I had an escort provided by the airline to help me with my baby, baby bags and laptop. I managed through the two & half hour flight.

Air show went off well and today I am going back. It happens to be the Valentine's Day. But boarding the flight was more eventful than all my stay put together. My in laws arrived in the morning come to see off their grandson. I had been doing the balancing act since morning to pacify their traditional norms in between my corporate meetings. My son was holding on to me since he is too young to recognize his grandparents and hotel had messed up with the bills. I finally packed up and left the hotel. I had very little time to catch the flight and the driver was trying his best to beat the heavy traffic of Bangalore and reach the airport on time. I just managed to get boarding pass ten minutes before the flight was to take off. I literally begged the airline this time to provide me assistance with my laptop and baby bags. I ran to board my flight and I finally made it with my son-Hashir hanging on to me in his Snugly. Everyone in the flight had an amused look in his or her eyes seeing the apathy of a young mother.

But now, all the chaos is over and I am settled in the flight. As my baby sleeps in my arms, after days of hectic work schedule, I feel relaxed, contended and happy. My hard work has paid me back. I have got my best valentine gift today- my sweet little son. I could not ask for anything better from life.

Knowing The Ropes Can Be A Lifeline

Writen by Mary Fagan

We are always calmed and assured when we find someone who has been through something before us. This includes parenting, which can mean weathering some rough storms. In the beginning, we set out in the calm and placid waters of diaper changes, runny noses, and dribbles that we somehow learn to ignore in one of parenting's first miracles. Other people may cringe and reach for the hand sanitizer, but our baby's bodily fluids are like mother's milk to us. Their crying and whining doesn't rock us, and when asked about our infants and babies, they walk on water. These are the tender years.

The joys of the first smile, the first words, and the tentative first steps are all treasured and stored safely in our mental photo albums. Even the "terrible twos" leave us with a proud smile at how creative and ingenious our little ones can be when there is something they want. It's a good thing these tender memories are stored away because soon we will cling to them for dear life.

I mean the turbulent years when a mutiny takes place. A few months after the hormones begin flowing, your once mild-mannered son or daughter will take on some salty characteristics. You overhear words coming from their mouths that would make a sailor blush. They get tattoos and piece body parts that would be considered torture if you had suggested it. One minute they are sweet and mild, and the next – bam – pure sass. It's as if someone kidnapped your child and warped and twisted their personality like knotty driftwood. But hang on!

Fortunately, there are other parents to lean on that have found their sea legs. Anchored to past parenting experiences, they gently break the news that you are not the only parent ever told they were stupid, hated, mean, old fashioned, a dork or the only one to say "no." The first time these things happen, they hit hard, but revived with the realization that you are not the only parent listing to the stern, you can survive a roiling adolescence as it rolls in, and over you, again and again and again.

You may have to return to the experienced parent once in a while for reinforcement. But trust me, we treasure the times we can throw a lifesaver to a wretched fellow parent filled with self-doubt, saving them from second guessing and that sinking feeling that they are losing it.

Whether it's their first experience with PMS, backtalk, swearing, or disagreements over clothing, I will not let any recently christened parent walk the plank alone. To prevent them from going overboard, I have developed a set of special greeting cards, individual lifesavers I can toss in their direction when they need a little sweet something to pull them through.

I keep these special inspirational cards for parents experiencing a "first time" in my desk – my own little guidance office - ready for a rescue. Each has a line of wisdom and a line of advice to navigate a parent through the turbulent times. So far, these messages have saved seven parents from chocolate overdose and ten from self-induced baldness.

Even so, I realize my parenting support materials may not be as sophisticated as Dr. Phil's, but in a storm, any port will do.

Mary Fagan has a M.S. in Education and has successfully guided two daughters through the teens. She is currently in the white water with her teenaged son and happily provides her knowledge of the ropes online at http://www.motherwise.us.

How To Deal With Supermom Stress

Writen by Kathleen Wilson

One of the top stressors for women today is what many are calling the "supermom syndrome". Many of us are led by society today to believe that in order to be successful Moms, we have to do it all, and give all. Nonsense. We all want to do our best as Moms, as we should. But at some point, for our own mental health, our best has got to be good enough. Here are some great ideas to reduce the syndrome at your house.

It's ok not to be perfect. Let me say that again. It's ok, not to be perfect. I think many of us hold ourselves up to a level of perfection that merely hurts our ability to be a good Mom. So what if the living room isn't clean on Monday nights?…you had bedtime stories to read. Who cares if you had to choose a work presentation over your childs field trip…you'll go next time. Not allowing ourselves any slack simply causes more stress in our lives, and prevents us from savoring every precious moment of being a Mom. Lighten up. It's ok not to be perfect!

Don't buy into societies hype that in order to be a good parent, you must offer your child every experience under the stars. Over and over again, psychologists talk about the dangers of over scheduling our kids, but it seems few are listening. It is not healthy for your child to learn to be so busy that he/she never learns to be with and like himself, to dream, use his imagination, or just be bored! Limiting your family to one extracurricular activity per child will help reduce family stress both in time and money. Do not let society guilt you into doing more…after all, this is the same society rules that say its ok for our children to starve themselves to look like movie stars, or to play Nintendo for 12 hours straight. Is that what you want for your kids?

Make time for yourself. Make a rule that you will take 10, 20, even 30 minutes a day and shut out the world. Close the bedroom door, take a bath, take a walk…just have that time to yourself. You deserve it, and your family owes you that much. Do not feel guilty asking for it either! Tell the kids Mom is not to be disturbed unless someone is bleeding or something is on fire…then enforce the rule! Oprah says it well…if your cup is empty, how will you fill up the ones you love?

That being said, it is important to recognize your family as an essential part of your life. Stopping to smell the roses when it comes to your family will help you to keep your life in perspective, and therefore, reduce your daily stress. Make sure you take time for yourself, but also take time to spend with your family outside of the daily chores and running around. Let your children help you cook dinner, play cards together in the evening, take a walk around your neighborhood with your kids. Make sure you read to those little ones every night, and make sure you do those great voices with the characters! Laugh with your family, choose your battles wisely, and savor every moment of their precious childhood…before you know it, they will be tending their own families! (And won't you feel good knowing what an example you were, cherishing your family as you do!)

Finally, make sure you remember who you are as a person. Not as Mom, or wife, or business associate, but as who you are. Cultivate old pastimes, and expand your world by developing new ones! Learn to play piano, paint, or to speak a different language. Read. Celebrate your spiritual life, and let yourself grow in the world that has been gifted to you.

It is time Moms stood up and made a stand…we don't have to do it all to be good Moms. We already are good Moms, because we do our best. And that's good enough.

Kathleen Wilson is a columnist, author, and editor of The Stress Less Journal. For free stress reducing inspiration and to sign up for her free online newsletter, visit her at http://www.StressLessJournal.com. Also visit her other website, http://www.women-on-the-net.com and http://www.thebudgetdecorator.com.

The Ten Most Critical Things For Raising A Healthy Empowered Child A Mustread For Every Parent

Writen by Shelly Walker

It may sound simple, but it's not easy. If you can succeed at the following ten items, your children will know that they are loved, capable people with passion and purpose in the world.

As parents, we all have strengths and weaknesses. Use this list as a guide to find the things that your family needs to work on and (this is the tricky part) do it! It's so easy to just go along with the flow and let your children be raised by the example you set for them and daily, reactionary, chaos-control parenting. But taking a few minutes to really check in with what's important is critical to your child's health and well-being.

I have taken fifteen years of research and experience with children and boiled it all down to the following list of ten things to focus on as a parent. Some of them are self-explanatory. Some of them are easier to accomplish than others. They are all critical to your child's inner peace and outer success.

Please note, that in order to simplify things, I use each gender alternately. This list is intended for every child, both male and female.

Print this up, put it on your fridge, highlight the ones you want to start working on and begin to create the family of your dreams today.

1. Find his talents and explore them. I make this number one because of the huge impact on a child's self-esteem when he finds out what he's good at. Give him the opportunity to succeed with passion and purpose.

2. Music and art feed the mind and the soul. Every person is good at some creative endeavor. Take classes together. Get outside your box so she can explore art. Not only does it feed an inner need, but it's a constant boredom buster! (No musician or artist is ever bored because she has her passion at her fingertips and within her mind at all times.) An artist or musician sees the world with added dimensions. Don't deprive your child of this opportunity!

3. Applaud effort, not necessarily outcome. No matter if he's a good student, a bad student or a great student. Give him the support he needs and praise his work. Did he lose the game? Find something positive to say and avoid the negative critiquing. Don't feed his inner doubt: empower him to feel good about himself.

4. Teach manners. Please, thank you, how to ask, how to be polite and eat a nice meal. I see so many children who don't even begin to know how to behave and it's because they aren't taught. It's up to you to teach her how. It's not just about behavior control. It's about respect.

5. Create and maintain open lines of communication. Studies have shown that the toddler who feels heard will become the teenager who will talk. Spend at least 10 minutes every day one-on-one with your child. Never shut down any topic of conversation. Be available and non-judgmental, but give positive, age-appropriate feedback. Remember to listen.

6. Get out in the world and exercise & explore together. Teach her to love Nature and how to take care of her body with exercise and healthy food. Don't just sit at home and watch the world pass on television. Get out there and explore!

7. Allow his spiritual nature to unfold. This is different from religious training. This is allowing God to express through your child's unique perspective. Children have an inborn wisdom about spiritual nature. Listen to him. Ask him questions. Allow him to explore the truths that God placed in his heart. Then teach him your values.

8. Empower her to trust her inner voice. This one can be especially difficult for those of us who were never taught this skill. Work on trusting yourself while teaching her to trust that still, small voice. This can be as simple as listening when she says, "I think we should go left and see if there's a parking space over there" or as complicated as talking about how to trust new people. She must learn to stop, check in with her heart, check in with her body, use her mind to think about the signals she's receiving and then move forward.

9. Feed her body, mind, and Spirit. Healthy foods, challenges for the mind, spiritual awakenings…happy children. Add in some love and fun and you've got the recipe for success!

10. Unconditional love means love without bounds: love the child you have, not the child you want him to be. Take a realistic look at your relationship and the conditions you put on your love. You may be shocked to see the places where you withhold love as a punishment or perhaps simply out of unskilled behavior on your part. Love is not something to be given and taken away. Let your child know that she is loved in every situation – no matter what!

Straight talk from the mom who's been where you are and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. Her website, http://www.parentingkeys.com, has great information and free tools to help parents raise successful, empowered children.

A Dangerous Environment

Writen by Richard Lowe, Jr.

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't even begin to believe that your child is safe. There are more dangers than you can possibly imagine waiting to lure children to their doom. You had better be aware of what's happening and take steps to shield them from the danger ... if you don't, your child's sanity and safety are at serious risk.

Does this sound alarmist? Actually, I cannot stress this fact enough ... you have to be just as careful with your five year old on the internet as you would in the worst red-light district back alley in the darkest part of town. If you would not allow your twelve year old wander around a drug den or visit the sex shops in San Francisco, then why on Earth are you letting him or her loose on the internet without supervision?

Let's look at some of the dangers that exist on the internet. The most obvious issue is pornography. There are dirty pictures, video, sounds, movies and anything else you can imagine available everywhere on the web. In fact, it's often difficult to surf without running into a pornographic site occasionally. Just type "whitehouse.com", expecting to get a page about the white house and you'll see that you get a pornographic site.

Oh, and it's not just your run of the mill pornography, no, there is much worse stuff available to anyone who cares to look. Your child can find pictures which will curl your toes at the sheer perversity of the images. While intelligent people can debate whether or not any of this material should be available, even to adults, at all, no one with any conscience and trace of goodness can say it is okay for children to have access to this stuff.

Not only is pornography a danger, but the cyber world is full of other horrible things (just like the real world). Without much work, your child can easily surf to sites which espouse hatred, nazi values, and page after page of extremely graphic, real violence. I even know of some parents who were horrified to find that what they thought were harmless Anime (a style of Japanese cartons) sites that turned out to be hard core, extremely graphic animated sex galleries.

Of course, I'm sure you've all heard of the dangers of unsupervised chat rooms. I have heard that older men hang out in them, waiting for trusting, innocent children. They start up conversations, and before long your child might attempt to travel to meet a nice man - and never come back.

You've got other, more subtle, dangers as well. Your child might surf the internet and find some cool site which asks for personal information. Not knowing any better, he or she might enter your social security number, address, phone number or even your credit card numbers. This could actually put not just your child but your entire family in danger.

I could go on and on about the dangers, but what do you do about it? Is there anything that you can possibly do, short of unplugging the stupid computer, to protect your children?

The first, and most important, thing that you should do is talk to your children. Believe it or not, children are intelligent beings, and they will understand if you use words and concepts that they can comprehend. Explain the dangers, being patient and caring and understanding. It may take a few tries, but they are capable of learning, understanding and obeying. Just be sure you do not portray the dangers as something in any way desirable, and don't forbid them to explore, just explain what's going on.

The second, and equally important, thing to remember is that even if your children do understand and comprehend what you tell them - you should still protect them. Do not let them surf the internet unsupervised if you can help it. Watch them on the web and be sure you know where they are going.

Every once in a while, check over the computer that your child has been using to see what they've been doing. Look at the cookies, the browser history and at images and such stored on the hard drive. I know it sounds like spying, but it's important to know what they are up to before they get into trouble. And oh yes, if you find something, just wait for an opportunity to "discover" what they are doing without giving away that you are looking over their shoulder. Then use this as a means of getting into a discussion with them. You should also take maximum advantage of any and all parental controls that are available to you. Use a product such as NetNanny or Cyber Babysitter to control your child's surfing habits. Set the parental controls of your browser and the major search engines (most of them have a way to filter out adult content).

Does this sound extreme? Any psychiatrist will tell you it is. They will tell you should allow your children to explore at will, along with lots of other, similar garbage. But would you trust your children to the people who funded Adolf Hitler, who give drugs to your children in school and who claim that hardened criminals are really just misunderstood and unloved. (That's a subject for a future article perhaps - how we can improve our civilization and bring peace to the world by lining all of the psychiatrist's up on the nearest wall).

Anyway, digressions aside, the responsible thing to do is to ensure that your children are safe, just like you would if they were wandering around in the mall or in the red light district of a big city. If you don't, you may find yourself taking up a new hobby - looking at milk cartons.

About The Author

Richard Lowe Jr. is the webmaster of Internet Tips And Secrets. This website includes over 1,000 free articles to improve your internet profits, enjoyment and knowledge.

Web Site Address: http://www.internet-tips.net

Weekly newsletter: http://www.internet-tips.net/joinlist.htm

Claudia Arevalo-Lowe is the webmistress of Internet Tips And Secrets and Surviving Asthma. Visit her site at http://survivingasthma.com

Drugs And Violence In Public Schools

Writen by Joel Turtel

Many public schools not only fail to educate our children, they can also be dangerous places. These schools are a natural breeding ground for drugs and violence. Children are packed into classrooms with twenty or more other immature children or teenagers, all the same age. Here, peer pressure becomes socialization, pushing many children into using drugs and alcohol.

Put twenty teenagers in the same room, or hundreds of teenagers in the same school, and you have a breeding ground for violence. Young boys and girls have raging hormones and budding sexuality, and male teenage testosterone levels are high. Teenagers are in the half-child, half-adult stage of life and often lack judgment and are emotionally immature.

Pack these teenagers together into cramped little classrooms, six to eight hours a day, and you have a mixture that can lead to trouble. It's inevitable that violence will break out—it's built into the system.

Also, even the most conscientious teacher is usually too busy and overworked to give children the individual attention they need. Critics of home-schooling often say that home-schoolers don't get proper socialization. However, so-called socialization in public schools is often cruel and violent. Bullying, peer pressure, racial cliques, sexual tensions, and competition for the teacher's approval all create a stressful, sometimes violent environment.

Compulsory-attendance laws also contribute to violence in the schools. In most states, these laws force children to stay in school until they are sixteen years old or graduate high school. Teenagers who hate school, or are aggressive or potentially violent sociopaths, can't leave. As a result, they often take out their hatred and aggression on other students. Those children want to learn are forced to endure bullying and violence by these troubled teens.

Also, the law is on the side of violent or disruptive students who are classified as "disabled." In 1975, Congress passed the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Based on this legislation, in 1988 the Supreme Court ruled that schools could not remove disruptive disabled children from classrooms without a parent's consent. If parents don't consent, teachers are out of luck. Those 'disabled' children who are socially impaired, can't get along with other kids, or sometimes turn violent, therefore fall under this category. Of course, this adds yet another layer of potentially violent children who teachers can't remove from class.

Violence in public schools can literally kill your child. In the 2000-2001 school year, students were victims of about 1.9 million nonfatal violent crimes such as rape, assault, and robbery. This figure equals about 9,000 violent incidents every school day throughout America, or about one every three seconds.

Public schools are also a drug pusher's heaven. Thousands of teenagers, pushed by intense peer-pressure, smoke, drink beer, and try marijuana or hard drugs. Schools put hundreds of children together in one big building or courtyard. Mix in overworked or indifferent teachers who have little time or desire to supervise extracurricular activities. That's why drug pushers circle schoolyards like vultures. Where else can they find groups of vulnerable victims all herded together for their convenience? Is it any wonder that drug and alcohol use is a major problem in public schools?

In the 2001-2002 school year, 34.9 percent of tenth-grade students surveyed said they had smoked cigarettes within the past year. Fifty-one and two tenths percent said they had drunk beer, and 33.4 percent said they got bombed on that beer. Also, 29.8 percent of the same tenth-grade students said they had smoked marijuana within the past year, and 78.7 percent of these marijuana users said they got "bombed or very high" on it.

When children are home-schooled, parents can advise and watch over their kids. At home, there is no peer pressure to try drugs, as there is in public schools. Drug pushers don't hover around private residences.

Parents should therefore ask themselves: Do my children belong in violent, drug-infested public schools? Are there other education options for my children? In "Public Schools, Public Menace," I discuss many quality, low-cost education options parents can use right now if they decide to take their children out of public school.

Joel Turtel is an education policy analyst, and author of "Public Schools, Public Menace: How Public Schools Lie To Parents and Betray Our Children." Contact Information: Website: http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com, Email: lbooksusa@aol.com, Phone: 718-447-7348. Article Copyrighted © 2005 by Joel Turtel. NOTE: You may post this Article on another website only if you set up a hyperlink to Joel Turtel's email address and website URL, http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com.

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once

Writen by Judy H. Wright

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.

Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle Charley, who tells you that your child is making it up and even if it did happen, he will never do it again.

He promises he will never ever touch another child inappropriately and you want to believe him. Should you believe him? Probably not.

Perhaps abuse will occur just once with a certain child, but most pedophiles will just cast their eye for a more amiable victim. It is usually not the first time the molester has done this. Nor will it be the last time, even if the child convinces the molester to leave him or her alone. Offenders who have been caught tell researchers that nobody does it just once.

This is a compulsive act which stems from compulsive thought patterns. Pedophiles have repetitive sexual fantasies involving children usually in one age group or gender. Some may be able to contain those fantasies and thought patterns and not act upon them. and they do not become offenders. The perpetrator feels compelled to abuse on a regular basis, especially when things are not going well in their life, or they are under stress. Most offenders abuse more than one hundred times before they are caught. Many will re-offend after serving their time in custody.

Sex abusers will continue the same sick patterns until they are physically stopped or the fear of intervention on the part of the molester becomes very evident. They may be abusing or grooming more than one child at the same time. For instance, if a teacher is caught and arrested for molesting a student in his/her classroom, the chances are high that they have tried to molest others in the class and other classes they have taught.

It is the same for those who commit incest: very rarely is it just one victim. The molestations sometimes continue for months or years starting first with a good touch such as backrubs or tickling. But then it escalates into a touch that is inappropriate. The relationship is usually broken off only when it is discovered accidentally or when a child tells an adult who believes them.

Unfortunately, parents or other adults often think the child is lying, particularly if the abuser is someone familiar to the family or a member of the family. It is a rare exception for a child to make up stories about having been sexually abused. Due to lack of understanding, many parents may blame and shame the victim, especially if the abuse has gone on for some time.

It is not the child's fault! As a caring adult and the protector or your child and others who might have been affected and most certainly will, if the offender is not stopped, you must tell the proper authorities. It is important to your child that they see that you will believe them and act on their word. It is also important to the community that the sexual abuse, no matter how seemingly innocent the offender may try to make it out, is documented. Pick up the phone now and call the police; they will give you and your child guidance and support.

© Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, www.artichokePress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

Mum And Dad Look At Me

Writen by Rita Offen

Kids have amazing confidence. Drive or walk through a town and you'll pass kids and notice that bright, bouncy, happy look. Some kids don't walk, they hop and skip all the way. They have bountiful energy.

Such confidence often means they believe they can do anything, and won't give up until they do or get what they want. If we adults had their confidence and beliefs, what amazing things could we achieve - we could accomplish our dreams!

At my martial arts lesson today, a young new boy volunteered, stepped up and performed his Karma form (a series of moves using the Karma weapons - they're like little axes, only made of wood and rubber!) in front of the whole class. Afterwards, as always, our Instructor lead the class in applause for his confidence in doing this. The little boy was so pleased with himself, for 'stepping up' isn't an easy thing to do, especially when you're new. His face beamed, and he turned to look at his mum across the room, searching for recognition, but she gave him no response. Her eyes did not meet his, and with a frown she was looking at a small sticker that had come off one of his Karmas and got stuck in his hair! I watched his bright, proud look drain from his face - the disappointment could not have been more obvious. Clearly, his mother's acknowledgement was of more importance to him than the praise of applause in the room. I know his mum didn't intentionally miss his glance. Had she seen his expectant look, she would, in the true spirit of a proud mum, have praised him and returned the smile. But a boy with a sparkly silver sticker in his hair was more an issue of real concern to her.

We can so often allow other things to cloud our view of our kids' strengths and achievements. In this case, I know, no-one else in the room was bothered about the sticker!

Rita Offen is a Parent and Author of 'The Chilled Parent' - Effective Parenting, Peacefully and Powerfully, in which she shares her experiences and lessons in parenting, with a unique perspective on what's REALLY important in family life. www.chilledparent.com

Why Do People Have Kids

Writen by Lance Winslow

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want and have planned for a family; the truth is that most people have kids because a woman gets pregnant. That is about the only reason. Did you know that 75% of all children in the United States are born out of wedlock and that the number is increasing each and every year? And folks these numbers are just in the United States, the world average is much higher. Only 50% of the kids in this country live in a household with two parents.

So if people are having kids because they get pregnant and not because they are planning on having kids then that means most all humans born in the United States are unwanted by the parents. Do you think this is why pregnant moms still drink lots of caffeine and go to Starbucks every day? Do you know what this does to the unborn fetus? If kids grow up without two parents to watch them no wonder we have such a high rate of juvenile delinquency in our country. No wonder I have to pay more taxes for police. No wonder there is more crime and drugs, rapes and murders, hit and runs and police chases, robbery and assaults? Dah, no wonder?

If people do not care about their children before they are born, what makes you think they really care about them or are willing to give them the proper nurturing as they grow up? Some people believe that you should have a license before you have a child, that you understand pre-natal care, have a jobs or some income to support your future offspring and a stable situation ready to go when the child arrives. Others believe that it is not any one else's business and humans should have the right to procreate. We make people get driver's licenses to operate an automobile; a hunk of metal, which you can replace, but not to have a child, which is irreplaceable. How many times have you seen a parent beat their kid in a parking lot or store? How many times have you seen a kids throw a complete temper tantrum in a place of business and the single parent buy something to pacify them? Why is it that people have kids again? Because they get pregnant; what about the burden to society and taxpayer for the irresponsibility of that child?

Recently I met a man who had an executive job at a school district. We got on the subject of schools and drugs and he said both his kids had been involved in drugs and had problems and that there was nothing he could do; it was the peer pressure you see? It was not his fault he explained? Oh, really so whose fault it is then, because it certainly is not my fault the taxpayer. Yet I am paying the cost of more police, state sponsored rehabs, court costs and might even become the victim of one of his kids or some other kid who is fiending on drugs who decides to steal the CD player out of my car or put it up on blocks to steal my rims so they can get their fix?

Every time some one has a kid that is an incredible responsibility, it is the responsibility of the parents not the village. It may take a village to raise the child, but it is the parents responsibility to put in their fair share and bare the brunt of the cost, time and effort in raising them. Why can't people take a little more responsibility for their actions? Why is the burden always on those who are holding up civilization instead of those so busy tearing it down; the same ones who tell us to mind our own business and leave them alone? Yet as soon as they want something they come running, looking for a hand out and call us names when we look at them and say no; it is your responsibility. It is interesting that in our new Political Correct world that you cannot say these things even though they are true. Well like you I am sick and tired of it and I am saying something about it. It ain't right; think about it.

Lance Winslow

Baby Feeding Options For The Working Mother

Writen by Nicky Pilkington

Significant events in the 20th century resulted in changes in family dynamics. War, technological advances, and shifts in economics caused women to work outside of the home. Women traditionally stayed at home to take care of the home and the needs of the children. While initially many people scoffed at the idea of a woman leaving her children while she worked, it served the purpose of additional money coming into the household. Nowadays, people seldom give the idea of women working outside the home a second thought. There are, however, some issues that working mothers still need to handle when they make this choice.

With the addition of labor-related laws, it is now possible for women to bear children and return to work. However, managing common bonding activities such as breastfeeding can often take creative strategies. A woman could easily start her baby on formula and return to work without any hassles. However, there are many advantages of breastfeeding. The mother is able to pass on essential nutrients to her baby, it creates a bond between the mother and baby, the mother can lose the extra weight she gained during pregnancy, and it's inexpensive. When a woman works outside the home, she has to contemplate how she intends her baby to be fed. At one time the only choice for working mothers was to feed the baby formula. The introduction of breast pumps has made it possible for mothers to experience the benefits associated with breastfeeding while continuing to work.

There are essentially two types of breast pumps: manual and electrical/battery-operated. The difference between the two breast pumps is in how the mother's milk is extracted. Breast pumps are designed to extract milk from a mother's breast using the same cycle of motion as when the baby is feeding. A manual breast pump involves the mother using some type of control to dictate the cycles. A breast pump that operates on electrical or battery power performs the cycles automatically, however, the mother is typically able to specify the speed of the suction cycle. Determining the best breast pump is a matter of the mother considering her personal situation. It is a good idea to use factors such as cost, the availability of an electrical outlet, and portability to determine the best breast pump for your situation.

When choosing to buy a breast pump, you will discover there are numerous manufacturers. Medela is by far the most recognized name in breast pumps. This company, which originates from Switzerland, brought to the forefront the issue of working mothers being able to provide milk for their babies when they were away from home. Like most products, Medela offers a full line of products that feature product options for different situations. For example, the Medela classic offers breast pumps for situations when a mother requires frequent or infrequent pumping. With more than 10 product offerings, you should have no problem finding the breast pump for your particular situation.

Other reputable companies that provide breast pumps and other breastfeeding products include Ameda, Whittlestone, Whisper Wear, and Avent.

More detailed information about breast pumps and the advantages offered by feeding baby breast milk are available at http://www.breast-pump.info.

Post Adoption Depression Reality Or Fallacy

Writen by MM Caldwell

Q. I noticed a change in my sister's mood after she adopted her first child. She seemed to be depressed, much like post pardium depression. The entire family expected her to be elated since she finally had the child she longed for. Is this normal?

A. What your sister is going though is similar to post pardium depression. It is very real and can diminish the joy she experiences with her child. It is important that her family and friends understand the reasons and not belittle her for these feeling. Depression can come from a combination of a number of events triggering what is called "post adoption depression".

New changes to a lifestyle of parenting full time, a long drawn out adoption process, topped with years of infertility and lack of control in either of them can cause an onset of this type of depression. Be reassured not all mothers go through this, but with parenting comes challenges. Not all women find themselves depressed, but some new adoptive mothers start feeling the let down and the tension release of the entire adoption process soon after the child comes home.

Financial stressed from the adoption can make this time more stressful also. Many new mothers find staying home and the lack of sleep can contribute to her overall well-being. Many women are embarrassed to even mention their feeling. Often the comment I hear is "well you should to be happy now"!

If a woman continues to experience depression for more than a month, she should seek the advice of a qualified doctor who works with post pardium depression or a counselor specializing in adoption issues. Listen to an interview about post adoption stress at www.LetsTalkAdoption.com

Adoption Moment Tip

Surround yourself with positive people; get fresh air and good nutritious food. Put on some a little makeup during the day, even if you are at home. I found it helpful to get out and attend a comedy shows if you can just for fun. It sometimes is a comfort knowing other adoptive mothers have gone though this and are now experiencing the joy parenting can bring. It does get better.

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is the founder of Lifetime Adoption http://www.LifetimeAdoption.com Caldwell is an adoptive parent, the award-winning author of www.AdoptingOnline.com and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide and radio talk show host of "Let's Talk Adoption". Mardie has writes and speaks on parenting, adoption, infertility, writing, financing, and travel. They have four children and live in Northern California. Contact Mardie at through her website http://www.MardieCaldwell.com

Raising A Selfsufficient Teen

Writen by Rachel Paxton

Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working with your teen on gradually giving them a sense of independence and ownership of their lives, then you're going to have your work cut out for you. Don't wait until it's too late.

By the time your children are in high school, they should be doing for themselves a lot of the things you've been doing for them all of their lives. What does your teen do when they have a problem? Run to you? Or try to solve his/her own problem, maybe coming to you for advice when they've exhausted their own resources?

I don't know about you, but I want my daughter to be self-sufficient when she heads off to college. I want her to be able to choose her own friends, manage her own expenses, be up to the challenge of solving everyday problems in an effective and positive manner, and generally get her adult life off to a good start.

Sound difficult? Not if you start out with the small things. My teen told me most of her friends don't even know where their moms do their grocery shopping. I couldn't believe it. My daughter is involved with planning our meals (it's in her interest if she wants a say in what we're having to eat), and she goes to the grocery store with me every single week and helps me mark each item off the list. She reads labels, compares prices, and tells me when she thinks I'm spending too much money on something. And why does she care how much money I spend you might ask? Because our family's finances are tight, and she knows that any money we save at the grocery store our family will be able to spend somewhere else. What a great life lesson.

Because our family's finances are tight, my daughter has also learned how to budget. She is not directly involved in our financial planning, but she sees me making our budget and deciding the way we spend our family's money. She knows that when more money than expected has to be spent in a certain area, that something else has to give. She knows that money doesn't grow on trees. She's started to budget her own money--tithing, spending some, and saving some.

A lot of my daughter's friends wear expensive designer clothes. She knows we can't afford to buy clothes like that for her, so we frequent local thrift and clothing consignment stores, shop bargain sales, and do a lot of yard saling. Sure, I wish I could spend more money on her clothes, but she still finds much of the same designer clothing her friends wear. Other friends are jealous of the good buys she finds. When my daughter grows up part of me hopes she can afford nicer things for herself. But deep down, I'm grateful for the life lessons she's learning. Whether she has money or not, she will never want for anything because she knows how to get by no matter what her circumstances.

You might think your teen would think it a chore to go grocery shopping and shopping for second-hand clothing. My daughter doesn't look at it that way. Partly she's bored and wants to get out of the house, but going through these daily routines together is much of the time we spend together, hanging out and talking about other things on her mind. More than half of the time we spend in deep discussion takes place in the car driving from one place to another. I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

I'm not worried about whether or not my daughter is going to be able to take care of herself when she goes off to college. I'm certain she'll be up to the challenge.

A freshman in high school this year, she has four more years to practice before she's on her own. She cooks dinner once a week or so, does some of the laundry, and helps clean up after our pets keep the house clean. At her age, homework is most important to us and that takes priority over other things, so we don't overload her with chores, but my main concern is that she knows HOW to do these things. Especially with something like cooking it takes time to learn some of these skills. And if you don't have enough patience to help them learn something like how to cook, then let them learn through trial and error. Let them cook what they want to cook and let them even go buy the groceries to make it.

Let your teens schedule their own appointments and make other phone calls you normally make for them. I think everyone has a little fear of the phone at first, but after the first few times they'll enjoy the responsibility they've earned.

And did you notice what effect these changes will have on your life? Less responsibility and demands on you! It's a little hard to let go at first and you might have to take baby steps in handing over the reigns a little, but you'll be so proud of your teen the first time they take initiative on their own. When they leave home you'll worry less and know it was a job well done.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

Single Parents Give Yourselves Credit

Writen by Pat Downing

Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.

I became acutely aware of this fact when my children were young and I was dealing with the challenges of being a single mom. An "expert" told me that the increase in the number of dysfunctional families was directly related to the increasing number of single-parent families. The statistics proved it.

I was taken aback. I had never related dysfunction to the number of adults in a family. In fact, I was aware of many families that functioned better when one of the parents was no longer present.

His comment did make me stop and think, however. Were single parents really the cause of many of society's ills? Or was that a misconception? I felt that I needed to answer that question - not for society as a whole, but for my family.

To begin, I took a long, hard look at myself. Was I still a good parent? Were we functioning in a healthy, balanced way? Or were my children suffering from the "unnatural" situation of living with only one parent?

As I tried to see it all objectively, some things became clear to me.

First, I realized that I was not perfect. It was important for me to be able to acknowledge that, because there had been a time when I could not allow myself to fall short in anything I did. I had felt the need to be everything to everyone - the perfect mother, good housekeeper, reliable employee, involved citizen. I had felt like a failure because I could not possibly live up to my image of what I was supposed to be.

Then slowly, I had come to realize that it was okay to be less than perfect. I relaxed. I learned to set priorities and to let other things go. That set me free to devote more energy to the things most important to me, including my relationships with my children.

The second thing I realized was that I was a better parent than I had been before. Oh, I still made lots of mistakes. The challenges of single parenting are overwhelming. But it is easy to get so bogged down in the problems that we forget to notice our successes.

In fact, our family was much closer and stronger than it had been before. One of the greatest differences was that we talked to each other more than we had in the past. Part of this was due to he ages of my children (they were 10 and 12 at the time), but in many ways, our closer relationship came out of necessity.

When we were suddenly 3 instead of 4, it was clear that we had to communicate more in order to function. Our financial situation had changed and although the burden was mine, it required an adjustment in my children's expectations as well. At home we all needed to pitch in to keep things running smoothly, and that had to be coordinated. Emotionally, we had all gone through some major changes and my main concern had been that my children not develop negative feelings about themselves or the adults in their lives.

All of this required many hours of talking as a family and also one-on-one. We developed the habit of sitting down to discuss things whenever a problem arose or a decision needed to be made. We had family meetings regularly and they provided a practical way to take care of family business, such as deciding upon house rules, chore assignments or how to spend some fun time together. In the process, we learned how to work together as a team and to stay in touch with each other's feeling.

So were my children harmed by growing up in a single parent household? It is really a mixed bag.

Yes, they missed out on the experience of having both parents at home, for which I still carry some sadness. At the same time, they became thoughtful, caring, responsible people, who were sensitive to the needs of others and accepted responsibility with grace and good humor. Most important, they lived every day in a home that was filled with love and laughter - and that is worth a great deal.

Thinking about our experiences and what I have observed in other families, I have come to some conclusions. I would like to share these with other parents who are facing similar challenges.

1. Families can function in a balanced, healthy way, regardless of the number of adults who happen to live in the home. The key is not how many people live under the same roof - or their ages - but the ways in which they relate to each other. Communication and mutual respect are major factors.

2. Every person in a family has intrinsic value and his or her ideas need to be considered regardless of age. Children and teenagers usually have good ideas and want to have responsibilities long before many parents realize. If we recognize and accept their contributions, we will be enriched and at the same time, we will help them to become more responsible, caring people who feel good about themselves and their world.

3. As parents, we don't need to be perfect. We know what the "ideal" mother is like - cheerful, patient, with lots of time to give lovingly to her children in a neat orderly home, where she prepares delicious, well-balanced meals and keeps everything running smoothly at all times.

In fact, it is not possible to be that ideal parent and home-maker while also carrying the full-time responsibility of earning a living, yet many single parents build expectations of themselves around that image. This often causes a lot of guilt and frustration for people who are doing the best they can to raise their children in today's society.

It's okay to make mistakes, to be inconsistent once in a while, to leave dirty dishes in the sink - in other words, to be human. The most important part of the job of parenting is the relationships with our children. Let the rest fall where it may.

4. It is never too late to change the ways in which we relate to one another. We have all made mistakes along the way, but we parents are learning and growing just as our children are. Sometimes the best thing that can happen in family is to admit to one-another that what we have been doing isn't working, and to agree to work together to find a better way.

The important things are:

- to be real with each, other,
- to respect each other's feelings,
- to say "I'm sorry" when it's needed - and mean it,
- to ask one-another for help and to give it in return,
- to work together to help each other to grow.

None of these things can happen if we are angry, frustrated or resentful.

The only way to create good, positive relationships is to relate to each other from our hearts, bringing the energy of love into every conversation - no matter how frustrating our day has been.

So how do we do that? It's tough out there, and by the time we get home, we're tired, frustrated - sometimes angry.

That's the very reason we HAVE to do it - because our children deserve better from us than what's left over at the end of a work day.

It doesn't take long to shift our energy. We can do it in the car on the way home. The important thing is what we focus on.

If I think about all the things that went wrong at work today, I will walk through that door in a really bad mood, and my children will pay a high price.

If, on the way home, I think about something my child did that upset me, I will re-create the energy of my anger or disappointment, and that is how I will greet my child when I get home.

If I decide, however, to take responsibility for the emotional energy in our home, I will focus on things about my children that please me - things I appreciate. Then when I walk through that door, I will bring the energy of love and respect, and that will create an environment in which my children will respond to me and to each other in the same way.

So, what kind of parent do you choose to be? It IS a choice, you know. We make it every day - many times a day.

We can be the kind of parents who confirm the statistics - or we can defy them.

If we live from our hearts - if we allow love to guide us and if we learn to trust our own inner wisdom - we can raise our children to be loving, responsible, emotionally balanced adults. In the process, we will be blessed many times over.

Pat Downing has many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. She is co-author of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child." For more information on how to create relationships that are peaceful, harmonious, cooperative and joyful, you may go to go to http://www.feelgoodparenting.com to sign up for a free e-Course and a free e-zine for parents.

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Toy Ideas For Children With Cerebral Palsy And Special Needs

Writen by LJ Stewart

One of the more common problems with mainstream toys is that they are meant to be used with two hands- often times children with cerebral palsy will have limited use of one side of the body or the use of only one hand.

Toys should be fun and children should have a feeling of accomplishment or success when playing- not frustrated or reminded of what they cannot do.

Many of the commercial toys on the market can be adapted or used by children with cerebral palsy.

There are many toys that you can buy at any toy store or department store that are affordable and fun to use. Look for toys that can be used with one hand. Musical instruments are great for this- a trumpet, harmonica, xylophone or maracas. These also develop a sense of cause and effect with young children and help controlled movement with older children.

Magnetic type toys are all the rage and a big hit with kids of all ages- there are tons of magnetic toys available in many forms- magnetic jig saw puzzles, magnetic construction toys and magnetic marbles.

A simple ball is a lot of fun and great for developing coordination- get a neat ball that glows in the dark, flashes lights or play music when you roll it.

Toys or play that involve the senses will help with sensory integration development. Sand and water are great for this. You can also fill a empty dish pan with uncooked rice- a great makeshift sand box for a rainy day. A tip to avoid sand box mess: put the sandbox on cement blocks- will be at waist level and kids won't get sand in all their clothes.

Toys that help with coordination and controlled movement are also a good choice. Bowls filled with beads, beans or jelly beans are good for sorting, counting and grouping. Excellent for controlled movement. Building blocks- simple wooden blocks, large dominoes for stacking also help with controlled movement. Also try empty milk cartons for stacking.

Play-doh is always a favorite- make your own play-doh and use Kool-Aid to not only color it but give it a fruity scent. Your child will be developing sensory awareness and visual motor integration skills as he plays.

Keep a box around filled with wheeled toys. Toy trucks and cars of all sizes. These deal with non-verbal expression, problem solving and self-control.

Keep toys in site so your child can see what available- avoid opaque containers and lids. Baskets are great for this.

You can find many toys in local stores and make your own from even around your house without having to spend a lot of money on adaptive or special needs toys. Mainstream toys help with developmental skills such as cognitive awareness, controlled movement and coordination- and don't forget they are fun!

LJ Stewart is homeschool mom and freelance writer. She has special interest in providing support to families coping with cerebral palsy and preventable birth injuries.

Spanking Children

Writen by Rexanne Mancini

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233

Percentage of readers who do not spank their children: 37%

Percentage of readers who spank their children: 62%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am completely opposed to spanking. I know that almost twice as many of you spank your children as don't. At the risk of alienating 62 percent of my subscribers, I cannot, in good conscience, keep my opinions to myself. ;-)

I feel we have evolved enough as a society to understand that violence breeds violence. Hitting is physically violent. So is spanking. I do not believe spanking children teaches them to mind their parents or caretakers any better than other forms of constructive discipline. If it is unacceptable to hit an adult, what makes it acceptable to hit a child? Taking into consideration the parent or caretaker is most likely three times the size of the child, doesn't this bring up issues of bullying? Many of the comments left on the spanking poll mentioned a biblical reference, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." When we consider that the bible was written thousands of years ago, we must also take into consideration that we may have advanced to the point where biblical interpretations are probably not to be taken as literally as they once were. I do not believe parents should spank their children into submission, any more than I believe criminals should be stoned to death by the masses, as was the custom so many years ago.

Many parents (myself included) have neglected to replace spanking with another solid form of discipline. Refraining from spanking our kids does not negate disciplining them. We have created a generation of children without boundaries in our zeal to adopt a kinder, gentler parenting style. While I am thoroughly delighted that many parents have decided not to spank their children, I am saddened by the lack of respect for authority in so many children today. Without limits, children are insecure, always testing the boundaries ... begging to be corralled for their own safety. In removing physical punishment, we need to find a healthy replacement.

Another comment mentioned often in the spanking poll had to do with spanking a child "out of love." I think this means the parent is disciplining their child because they love them. Yes, by all means, discipline your child when needed. My only request is that you consider not raising a hand or your voice to them in order to accomplish this. My methods have been to remove a privilege, after a warning. It might not be the best form of imposing limits on children but it works pretty well with my daughters ... most of the time. ;-)

One interesting comment was from a mother who said she only spanked her child when the kid was outright defiant. Well, you know, I wanted to consider that option for about two seconds! When my older daughter is defiant, my immediate instinct is to smack her ... but I don't. She is now an inch taller than I am and almost outweighs me. Not a good time to start swatting her butt. She'd either laugh at me or hit me back. Neither option seems conducive to maintaining authority! As much as that option sounded tempting, it is not the answer. If we are to grow as a people, we need to adopt more humane methods of teaching our children to behave.

The comment that disturbed me most was from parents who said they did not spank their child "right away." The child is told they are going to be spanked while the parent goes somewhere else to "calm down" before doling out the dreaded punishment. Sorry, this one gives me the willies. To me, this is a method of psychological torture. Imagining a small child, probably a toddler (or an adolescent reduced to a toddler's fears) in this situation tears at my heart. If I were a child, waiting patiently for a spanking, I think I would seriously consider running away. Why stick around for a parent who is going to come back, irrationally calm in the face of my utter terror, and let them hurt me? I do not think this is a good idea, no matter what the circumstance. I would rather see a parent swat a kid on the butt from sheer frustration, as in the situation with a defiant child, than meditate on it a while and then do the deed. I'm sure I have just contradicted parenting advice many of you have heard by experts. These experts do not rate one inch in my life. I cannot imagine a competent child psychologist thinking that this is OK.

I am 100% committed to a no-spanking philosophy. I believe spanking will be outlawed in most countries within a few years. This practice has been a traditional tool of discipline for far too long.

Please, my dearest readers who do not share my opinion, I ask that you consider the alternatives. Many parents spank, simply for lack of a better solution. There are other solutions. It's not always easy, I know. Spanking is probably the easiest method of momentarily whipping a child in line, however, if we are armed with alternate choices that really work, we will be better parents.

Copyright 2000 – 2005 – Rexanne Mancini

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

Best Investment

Writen by Al Thomas

Every week I write something about the stock market - how to, when to and where to put your money and how to protect it from loss if you do. This week I want to say something very important to the young folks about success. And you parents take note if your kids are still young.

One of these days you are going to graduate from high school and, hopefully, college. Either one fits the bill here - even if you don't graduate.

A very small percentage of your peers are going to become very successful. Success in the U.S. is mostly defined as someone who makes a lot of money; that is our usual yardstick. From your graduating class there will be 2 or 3 who make it big time and 6 or 8 who will do very well. Most of them will end up owning their own businesses. Upon graduation you will have no idea who will be the next Bill Gates, Jack Welch or Warren Buffett, but he is right there in your old class picture. Just when you need him you have lost contact for so many years that he probably won't remember you or want to help you.

People are assets. You can't run any business without their input whether it is muscle, brains or money. You use them and they use you - and there is nothing wrong with that. This interaction is what makes the business world go around.

Wouldn't it have been great if you had kept in contact with Bill Gates from the time you graduated? As he made strides with his company you might have become one of his key people, but he forgot you existed - and it wasn't his fault. You let him go. Don't squander your assets, your people. Here is a method that will work. No, not right away, but over the years it could easily change your life.

When you graduate take your yearbook and have everyone sign it. Even those you hardly know at all. Get their addresses and phone numbers and emails also. Every year on that graduation date you send out a yearly up date on what you have done during that year - got married, changed jobs, had a promotion, where you went on vacation, added a new kid to the family or what happened to your dog and your dreams and aspirations if you want to. Personal stuff. Ask them how they are doing? Every one is important. Do this every year and do your best to keep the list current. You may want to add others to your list.

Not much will be going on during the first 10 years, but as certain of your old friends start to move up the ladder they will be looking for people to help them and you will float up to the top of the list. Mr. Rising Star needs help and he knows where you are and all about what you have been doing. You might be just the one he needs to help launch his ship of state.

People are assets. This kind of investment can really pay off.

Al Thomas' book, "If It Doesn't Go Up, Don't Buy It!" has helped thousands of people make money and keep their profits with his simple 2-step method. Read the first chapter at http://www.mutualfundmagic.com and discover why he's the man that Wall Street does not want you to know.

Copyright 2005

Family Van Decal Danger

Writen by Rhonda Goetz

Parents love to talk about their kids. They do this in many ways. From those Christmas letters we've all come to hate to the "family" stickers on the backs of mini-vans. We love our kids!

Would a parent knowingly put their child at risk? No way! But unknowingly, many parents are putting them in harm's way. A parent's love and desire to show off their kids are in essence increasing the chance that one or more of their children may end up the victim of a child molester, abductor and/or stalker.

How can that be?

Well, let's look at the Martinique family. Mom is the proud parent of three children. She loves her kids and wants the best for them. One of her jobs is to insure that the kids get to and from school, sporting events, and school activities. Her mini-van is always on the go.

Today, she picks up the kids from soccer practice and is stopping at the store to pick up food for dinner.

Unknown to her, someone is watching…

Mom loves her kids so much she wants everyone to know it. She puts stickers on the back of the van showing each child, their relative ages (based on size) and their names. Mara is the oldest, next is Manda, the littlest is Jimmy and they have a dog named Max. She also displays her "Proud Parent of an Honor Student at JJ Elementary" bumper sticker.

Unknown to her, she just provided valuable personal information to a predator. Her children's names, their relative ages, their pet's name and which school Jimmy attends.

She stops at the grocery store, picks up a few things for dinner and then heads for home.

Unknown to her, someone is following her home.

When she arrives, everyone jumps out of the van and rushes inside for dinner. Safe inside…

Unknown to her, a predator waits in a car on her street waiting for one of the children, Mara, Manda, or Jimmy to come outside to play or walk to their friend's house.

Unknown to mom and the kids, pedophiles seek to find some way to know your child before victimizing them. Knowing a child's name, what their house looks like or their pet's name gives them the "in" to get close to your child.

When Jimmy comes out to play basketball, the pedophile gets out of his car and walks up and says Hi Jimmy! Jimmy is disarmed by the pedophile's use of his name so he doesn't react negatively to this stranger. "I lost my dog, he looks just like your dog, Max, have you seen him?" Using his dog's name completely brings down Jimmy's defenses. Knowing this, the predator moves in closer to Jimmy, close enough to grab him.

Unknown to mom, her love for Jimmy put him in jeopardy.

Don't risk your child's safety by allowing a pedophile to create the illusion of familiarity. If your child can be identified by a stranger, your child is at risk. Remove all identifying marks and objects from your cars now.

Rhonda Goetz Parent Smartz Empowering Parents... 866.241.9927

Rhonda Goetz is an author, speaker and and instructional designer. She designs easy-to-use online courses to help parents learn how to monitor their child's activities, improve their Internet literacy, and better understand the Internet perils their child deals with every day.

Want to learn how to monitor your child's Internet activity?

Get Empowered! Sign up for the Parent Series:Protecting Your Child Online online class today!

How Do I Handle This As A Peaceful Parent V

Writen by Nancy Buck

In both your lecture and book you emphasize the importance of making dreary tasks fun as well as negotiations with your children. Does everything need to be fun? Is everything supposed to turn into a negotiation? Can I ever just say "Do what I ask because I ask it of you?"

The simple answer to your question is "YES." You do not need to turn every chore into fun and games. Yes, when you ask your child to follow a direction, negotiation does not need to follow this request. You certainly have the right to expect that your child will do as you ask when you ask simply because you have asked. From my perspective this is respectful, courteous behavior.

Conversely, I expect that you also complete necessary childcare chores without having all become fun and games. I hope that you fulfill simple request your child makes some of the time because she has made them. You are setting the example, teaching him how people who respect and love one another treat one another.

Turning dreary tasks into fun and games means you understand that your child has the inherent instruction for fun. When and if you make chores and tasks more fun it increases the likelihood that you child will complete the chore or task without complaint. Children can't resist fun! Children can resist tasks and chores. I do not mean to say that everything must be fun. What I mean is that if you can increase the fun involved in daily living both you and your child will be more satisfied following your inherent instructions.

If every time your child resisted your request she demanded to negotiate and you agreed, you would soon be exhausted! If every time there was some dispute between you and your son, he got his way (his quality world picture) and you didn't, your need for power would be thwarted. The same is true in reverse. If every time there was a dispute between you and your daughter and you got your way (your quality world picture) and she didn't, her need for power would be thwarted. Negotiations are helpful when you and your child have two different pictures. Working together you can try to negotiate a way both of you get some of what you want or you both agree on a completely new solution, a new quality world picture. Thus both of you meet your need for power with one another. I do not recommend that you do this every time there is a dispute. Rather, self-evaluate. How often are you letting your child win? How often are you winning? How many requests seem to be turning into battles over who will win? These are the areas that need to be considered as points of negotiation.

Peaceful Parenting® is a life-long process rather than a cook book solution. I recommend Peaceful Parenting® ideas to help you and your child learn how to meet you inherent needs: for fun, for power, for love and belonging, for freedom and for survival. Understanding and following what motivates all behavior (yours, and your child's) is offered as a process that will help and support you. Raising loving, respectful and responsible children is the most important job of our lives. Peaceful Parenting® is my contribution to help you be successful and happy during the process.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nancy S. Buck, Ph.D. established Peaceful Parenting, Inc. in 2000 to bring her knowledge and experience with effective parenting to the greatest number of parents and other caretakers of children. She developed the Peaceful Parenting® program from her 25 years of experience as a developmental psychologist, trainer and educator with The William Glasser Institute and as the mother of twin sons. Her genuine, warm and authentic teaching style is clear and concise, helping learners move from the theoretical to real life situations.

http://www.peacefulparenting.com
Improve your family - Improve your world

Personal Responsibility What It Means And Whose Job Is It

Writen by Judy H. Wright

"How many times do I have to tell you to clean your room?" Why should a child keep his room neat? Many children say they don't care whether it is neat or dirty, so why should it matter to anyone else? Unless it is a health or safety hazard, or things are getting lost and broken? Then comes the age old question, "What is neat?" The answer certainly differs with a ten year old child and a thirty five year old Mom. Who is setting the standard of how clean a room must be to be acceptable.

What constitutes a neat and tidy room may not seem like such a big deal, but it represents a microcosm of how the family works together and how personal responsibility is taught and learned. Even though your child picks up his shoes without being reminded and turns in his homework assignments, it won't guarantee his success in life. It will, however, go far to help him to develop the characteristics and attributes that employers and mates look for.

In the next few minutes, as you read this article, you will find two different and distinct components of responsibility: outward and inward.

1. Outward responsibility deals with everyday life skills such as doing chores, cleaning the room, doing assigned chores, brushing teeth, returning videos on time, and feeding the dog. Each family has its own list of what they consider important, so we will not discuss particular tasks. Rather, we want you to focus on nurturing a positive attitude and good habits in your children - habits that will help them to be productive and reliable.

If your child has the responsibility to clean his room and you clean it for him, he has learned a valuable lesson. He has learned that if he stalls long enough or whines convincingly enough that you will step in. He has no "ownership" of the task. It is not really his job, it is yours and you occasionally get him to do it.

2. Inward responsibility deals with attitudes, beliefs, and values. Being inwardly responsible means admitting mistakes, treating others as you would like to be treated, being unselfish, and caring about other people's health, property and feelings. We frequently get bogged down with the frustration of dirty rooms and forget about more important factors like inward motivation.

Effective discipline and mindful parenting is setting reasonable limits on our children at different developmental stages but giving them choices so they can learn to form their own opinions.

Our goal is to help them become self-disciplined and to learn to think and problem solve without asking or being told what to do in every situation.

Aptitude and competence or the ability to accomplish a task is not nearly as important and vital to a happy life as attitude and confidence. This is the area where we help our children build self-esteem, problem solving skills, a can-do outlook, and positive expectations toward life.

What does it mean to teach your children responsibility?

All parents have a different answer and a different expectation of when and how their children will assume personal responsibility. Responsibility must be taught. It is not a natural skill, but it can be learned at any age. You do not become responsible when you are mature; rather, you become mature when you are responsible. There are four variables in this exciting venture:

1. Your child (learning style, age, motor skills, interest, hot buttons or incentives)

2. Your expectations (perfection or ever-learning; Being kind and firm in discipline)

3. Your example and how you model 'assuming personal responsibility' for your choices (use the four R's: Recognize, Remorse, Restitution, and Resolve to correct mistakes)

4. Consistency and follow-through (natural and logical consequences)

Focus on the learning experience, not the finished product

In teaching your children to assume personal responsibility focus your attention on the learning experience, not on the finished product. It is the process that is most important. Constantly remind yourself that you are a teacher and your subject matter is life skills. A good affirmation to repeat to yourself is one that comes from Dr. Wayne Dyer, "I will be as helpful as I can in assisting my children to help themselves."

A cooperative environment is one where everyone in the family wins; there are no losers. By learning to support and assist each other in small daily tasks, we set the stage for encouragement and a willingness to become self-reliant.

Good luck. As a word of encouragement, I have to tell you that, of our grown children, the ones who were the messiest as kids are the neatest as adults! Hang in there; there is hope for the future.

Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator © 2005 www.ArtichokePress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

Adhd A Dialogue With A Nonbeliever Part Three

Writen by Douglas Cowan, Psy.D.

Dear Sir,

It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed to me by a member of our church. There were elements of the article that were insightful, helpful, and needed to be said in a public forum, especially the discussion of the moral and spiritual dimensions of behavior. For this part of the article I applaud Mr. W.

However, Mr. W's discussion on the physiological/biological aspects of ADD ADHD was lacking to the point of being misleading to the readers. I am sure that Mr. Welch had no intention of misleading any readers, as that would hardly reflect the "biblical guidelines with which to understand ADD" that he seeks to communicate. Therefore, for the sake of clarifying some details, may I present the following evidence. Perhaps in the near future you would run an article that would present some of this information to your readers, so that they have an accurate understanding of the disorder.

We continue the dialogue here in part three.

"The popular assumption is that there is an underlying biological cause for the behaviors, but the assumption is unfounded. Although there are dozens of biological theories to explain ADD, there are presently no physical markers for it; there are no medical tests that detect its presence. Food additives, birth and delivery problems, inner ear problems, and brain differences are only a few of the theories that are… unsupported by evidence."

There are, in fact, biological causes for the behaviors.

Now, what are the "behaviors" that we are talking about? The "behaviors" of the diagnostic criteria. We are not talking about behaviors with a moral basis such as hitting your sister. We are talking about the specific behaviors of the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

"Although there are dozens of biological theories to explain ADD, there are presently no physical markers for it;…"

Just because there are dozens of theories, most of which will prove to be wrong and go away, does not mean that one (or more) of the theories are not accurate descriptions of reality. In fact, research shows that there are several "physical markers" of ADHD.

Here are a few articles, both from peer reviewed journals and from the media discussing peer reviewed journal articles, that might be of interest to your readers. They are just 15 studies or articles about the various biological underpinnings of ADHD. It is certainly not a comprehensive list, as there have probably been more than 200 similar studies published in the past ten years alone. These are just the studies that I looked up last weekend for another project and already had in my word processor:

Brain Scan Found Effective in Diagnosing Attention Disorder
New York Times Syndicate - December 16, 1999
RICHARD SALTUS

Brain scans have identified a clear-cut chemical abnormality in people with attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder, a problem that makes life difficult for an estimated 3 to 5 percent of US schoolchildren, scientists say.. It could be a first step toward a long-sought objective test for ADHD, say researchers at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital.

Do executive function deficits differentiate between adolescents with ADHD and oppositional defiant/conduct disorder? A neuropsychological study using the Six Elements Test and Hayling Sentence Completion Test
J Abnorm Child Psychol 2000 Oct;28(5):403-14
Clark C, Prior M, Kinsella GJ
School of Psychological Science, La Trobe University, Victoria, Australia.

Two neuropsychological measures of executive functions--Six Elements Tests (SET) and Hayling Sentence Completion Test (HSCT)-were administered to 110 adolescents, aged 12-15 years. Participants comprised four groups: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) only (n = 35). ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder/Conduct Disorder (ODD/CD) (n = 38), ODD/CD only (n = 11), and a normal community control group (n = 26). Results indicated that adolescents with ADHD performed significantly worse on both the SET and HSCT than those without ADHD, whether or not they also had ODD/CD. The adolescents with ADHD and with comorbid ADHD and ODD/CD were significantly more impaired in their ability to generate strategies and to monitor their ongoing behavior compared with age-matched controls and adolescents with ODD/CD only. It is argued that among adolescents with clinically significant levels of externalizing behavior problems, executive function deficits are specific to those with ADHD. The findings support the sensitivity of these two relatively new tests of executive functions and their ecological validity in tapping into everyday situations, which are potentially problematic for individuals with ADHD.

Executive functions and developmental psychopathology.
J Child Psychol Psychiatry 1996 Jan;37(1):51-87
Pennington BF, Ozonoff S
Department of Psychology, University of Denver, CO 80208, USA.

In this paper, we consider the domain of executive functions (EFs) and their possible role in developmental psychopathologies. We first consider general theoretical and measurement issues involved in studying EFs and then review studies of EFs in four developmental psychopathologies: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), conduct disorder (CD), autism, and Tourette syndrome (TS). Our review reveals that EF deficits are consistently found in both ADHD and autism but not in CD (without ADHD) or in TS. Moreover, both the severity and profile of EF deficits appears to differ across ADHD and autism. Molar EF deficits are more severe in the latter than the former. In the few studies of more specific EF tasks, there are impairments in motor inhibition in ADHD but not in autism, whereas there are impairments in verbal working memory in autism but not ADHD. We close with a discussion of implications for future research.

Brain Differences in Attention Deficit Disorder

Scientists have strong new evidence that attention deficit disorder (ADD)--a condition in which children are hyperactive and have difficulty concentrating--stems from an abnormality in the brain. According to a report in today's Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, children with ADD have elevated nerve firing in a brain region involved in motor activity. In addition, the researchers found, Ritalin--the drug most commonly prescribed for the disorder--triggers a surprisingly different biochemical response in the brains of children with ADD than in those without the condition.

Reduction of (3H)-imipramine binding sites on platelets of conduct-disordered children.
Neuropsychopharmacology 1987 Dec;1(1):55-62
Stoff DM, Pollock L, Vitiello B, Behar D, Bridger WH
Medical College of Pennsylvania, Eastern Pennsylvania Psychiatric Institute, Department of Psychiatry.

Binding characteristics of tritiated imipramine on blood platelets were determined in daytime hospitalized prepubertal children who had mixed diagnoses of conduct disorder (CD) plus attention deficit disorder hyperactivity (ADDH) and in inpatient adolescents who had a history of aggressive behavior. The number of (3H)-imipramine maximal binding sites (Bmax) was significantly lower in the prepubertal patient group of CD plus ADDH; the dissociation constant (Kd) was not significantly different. There were significant negative correlations between Bmax and the Externalizing or Aggressive factors of the Child Behavior Checklist when the CD plus ADDH prepubertal patients were combined with their matched controls and within the adolescent inpatient group. We propose that a decreased platelet imipramine binding Bmax value, as an index of disturbed presynaptic serotonergic activity, is not specific to depression and may be used as a biologic marker for the lack of behavioral constraint in heterogeneous. populations of psychiatric patients.

Neuropsychiatric and neuropsychological findings in conduct disorder and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.
J Neuropsychiatry Clin Neurosci 1994 Summer;6(3):245-9
Aronowitz B, Liebowitz M, Hollander E, Fazzini E, Durlach-Misteli C, Frenkel M, Mosovich S, Garfinkel R, Saoud J, DelBene D, et al
Department of Psychiatry, New York State Psychiatric Institute, New York.

Neuropsychiatric and neuropsychological evaluations were performed in a pilot study of adolescents with DSM-III-R disruptive behavior disorders, including conduct disorder (CD) and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). The following comparisons were made: 1) CD comorbid with ADHD vs. CD only; 2) all subjects with ADHD vs. all non-ADHD; and 3) all subjects with CD vs. all non-CD. The CD + ADHD group had increased left-sided soft signs compared with the CD group. CD + ADHD subjects significantly underperformed CD subjects on several executive functioning measures, with no differences on Verbal IQ subtests. Results are discrepant with previous findings of deficient verbal functioning in delinquent populations.

NIMH: Genetics Fact Sheets:Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Phenotype:Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has its onset in childhood and is characterized by developmentally inappropriate degrees of inattention, impulsiveness, and hyperactivity.

Epidemiology: In a large sample from the U.S. population, the prevalence of ADHD (male: female ratio) in school-age children was 6.7 percent (5.1:1)[2]. Depending on the use of adaptive functioning ratings to define definite maladjustment, prevalence estimates of 6.6 percent and 9.5 percent

Family Studies: Several studies demonstrate that ADHD aggregates in families [13-15]. The rates in probands' sibs in three older studies [16-18] ranged from 17 percent to 41 percent, with respective rates in controls' sibs ranging from zero to 8 percent [16, 17]. Rates of childhood ADHD in parents of hyperactive probands in several older studies ranged from 15 percent to 44 percent for fathers and 4 percent to 38 percent for mothers [19-22], although one study found no evidence of an increased rate of childhood ADHD in parents of ADHD probands

Twin Studies: Two small twin studies found that 4 of 4 [34] and 3 of 3 [35] MZ twins were concordant for ADHD. A larger twin study [33] reported respective MZ and dizygotic (DZ) probandwise concordance rates of 51 percent and 33 percent, with a heritability estimate of 64 percent.

Adoption Studies: Increased rates of hyperactivity or a history of hyperactivity have been found among both adopted-away sibs of children with ADHD [43] and the biological parents of hyperactive boys compared with controls [21, 44, 45].

Mode of Inheritance: Deutsch and colleagues found limited evidence in a small sample [46] for an incompletely penetrant autosomal dominant single major locus transmission. A segregation analysis of a different data set [25] also resulted in statistical evidence -- including estimates of transmission parameters that were not significantly different from Mendelian expectations -- for an incompletely penetrant dominant or additive autosomal single major locus [47]. Low penetrance estimates predicted that only 46 percent of boys and 31 percent of girls with the ADHD gene would develop the disorder.

Molecular Genetic Studies: A population-based association study reported evidence of an association between ADHD and an allele at the dopamine D2 receptor gene on 11q (p = 0.0003) [48], but this finding has not been replicated and was most likely an artifact of population stratification. The Tranmission Disequilibrium Test (TDT) [49] was used in a family-based association study to identify an association between ADHD and a specific allele at the dopamine transporter locus on 5p (p = 0.006) [50]. Another population-based association study found an association between ADHD and an allele at the dopamine D4 receptor on 11p (p = 0.01) [51].

Quantitative EEG and Auditory Event-Related Potentials in the Evaluation of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: Effects of Methylphenidate and Implications for Neurofeedback Training
J. F. Lubar, M. O. Swartwood, J. N. Swartwood, D. L. Timmermann
University of Tennessee

Neurophysiological correlates of Attention Deficit Disorder with and without Hyperactivity (ADD/HD) and effects of methylphenidate are explored using electroencephalographic (EEG) and auditory eventrelated potentials (ERPs). In the first of four studies, a database of ADD/HD individuals of varying ages and matched adolescent/adult controls is presented. Study 2 compares controls and age-matched children with ADD, and children with ADHD on and off methylphenidate. Study 3 examines habituation of the auditory ERPs of controls and children with ADHD both on and off methylphenidate. The relationship between successful neurofeedback training and EEG changes is presented in Study 4. Overall, these studies support a neurologic basis for ADD/HD and raise questions regarding the role of methylphenidate in modulating cortical processing.

Establishing an EEG Norm-Base for ADD v. non-ADD
Review of a journal article by Troy Janzen, Ken Graap, Stephan Stephanson, Wilma Marshall, and George Fitzsimmons, "Differences in Baseline EEG Measures for ADD and Normally Achieving Preadolescent Males" Biofeedback and Self-Regulation, Vol. 20, No. 1, 1995, pp. 65-82.

Three well known tests (WISC-R, WRMT-R, WRAT-R) were administered to all subjects prior to the main part of the study, a series of cognitive tests performed while connected to a 19 lead EEG cap. Findings:

The most consistent finding was that ADD subjects have significantly higher theta amplitudes (p < .05) for all sites at both baseline and while performing cognitive tasks.
There were also differences in the ratios of theta to beta and theta to SMR for baseline and all tasks at all sites, but the differences were significant only for some tasks at the parietal sites. The raw beta and SMR amplitudes themselves were not significantly different between the two groups. The authors conclude that although the number of subjects was small, there were significant differences that could be observed. These findings form a starter set of data for additional efforts.

ADHD PET Scan
Brain scan images produced by positron emision tomography (PET) show differences between an adult with Attention deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) (right) and an adult free of the disease (left).
Source: Alan Zametkin, M.D.
Section on Clinical Brain Imaging, Laboratory of Cerebral Metabolism
Division of Intramural Research Programs, NIMH, 1990

Need I go on? I have more!

As you can see, these studies focus on different issues, though most examine either executive functions, or the locations of the brain involved in executive functions, attention, or memory. It would be hard to conclude that because there are several neurological differences in the brains of ADHD individuals vs. non-ADHD individuals, that somehow that equated to there being no neurological differences. In fact the differences are real and measurable.

This is the end to part three of this discussion. You can learn more about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder by visiting the ADHD Information Library's family of web sites.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

The Cost Of Competition On Kids

Writen by Rae Pica

The subject of competition is one that provokes some pretty strong feelings in the United States. In fact, even hinting that competition might not be such a great thing can cause one to be labeled un-American.

The prevailing belief is that competition is good for everyone – that someone without a strong competitive nature is just a wimp. That being competitive is human nature and to be noncompetitive is to have been born without a necessary gene.

But is it human nature, or is it learned behavior? The research shows that, given a choice, most preschoolers prefer cooperative to competitive activities. This would seem to indicate that dog-eat-dog is not a natural inclination. And in a New York Times essay, Nicholas Kristof told a hilarious story about trying to teach the game of musical chairs to a group of five-year-old Japanese children, who kept politely stepping out of the way so others could sit in their chairs. This would certainly seem to indicate "dog-eat-dog" is taught in some societies – and not taught in others.

In America we play musical chairs in child-care centers, during play dates, and at almost every preschooler's birthday party. The rules say that a chair is removed with every round – and one more child gets to sit against the wall and watch everybody else continue to have fun. The game is over when there remains one winner – and lots of losers.

In case you don't recall from your own childhood (or maybe you were always the one winner among many losers), being eliminated feels lousy, as does feeling like a loser. And those other kids you're playing with? For the duration of the game they're not your friends; they're what's standing in your way. Children only have to play this game once to know that, if they're not going to be labeled losers, they have to do whatever it takes to win. And we've all seen what that means: punching, poking, kicking, scratching, screaming, and shoving. It's no wonder the research shows that competition fosters antisocial behaviors.

When parents consistently place their children in situations where winning is the ultimate goal – where the winners are considered heroes and the losers "losers" – winning is what they come to value. They learn that only the end result counts, not the process involved in getting there. Further, when parents themselves fail to conduct themselves with character, their actions speak much louder than any words preached about good sportsmanship and the value of teamwork and cooperation. While the goal of many parents is to give their children a running start on the development of sports skills (because success in sports certainly must equal success in life!), the research shows that competition is actually detrimental to skill development. One reason is fear of failure and its resulting stress, which isn't conducive to either learning or performance. Young children, in particular, are susceptible to this problem because pleasing their parents means so much to them. And when their parents focus on winning – either through action (screaming on the sidelines) or words (asking "Who won?" instead of "Did you have fun?") – winning becomes the children's goal as well.

Of course, you may think the goal of winning would be enough to propel children into performing their best. But young children aren't cognitively ready to make that connection. They attribute winning or losing to ability, not effort. Nor are they emotionally ready to handle the pressure of playing mistake-free games. And they're not physically ready to play without making mistakes!

Finally, when product (winning) is emphasized over process (making an effort), extrinsic reward is granted more validity than intrinsic reward. As a result, trophies and championships become the whole point of participation. And while this may not seem like such a bad thing in a goal-oriented society, we're back to the issue of the young child's stage of development. Children under the age of eight are motivated by pleasure. And, yes, winning feels good when everyone around you is making a big deal out of it. But does that feeling last? And what about the children who aren't winning?

Dare I say it? Winning isn't everything. And if we want our children to grow up to be self-assured, character-driven adults – who also happen to have positive feelings about physical activity – then it really shouldn't be.

Rae Pica is a children's physical activity specialist and the author of Your Active Child: How to Boost Physical, Emotional, and Cognitive Development through Age-Appropriate Activity (McGraw-Hill, 2003). Rae speaks to parent and education groups throughout North America. You can visit her and read more articles at http://www.movingandlearning.com.

Are Your Kids At Risk Of Obesity

Writen by Kim Beardsmore

Kids need physical activity. We all know that, but if you are a parent have you stopped to consider how much physical activity your child has had today? It's clear that children in the US and other developed countries such as Australia and the UK are getting more and more overweight and our children are moving less each day.

Kids need a total of about 60 minutes of physical activity a day, but this does not have to be all at one time. Short ten or even 5 minute bouts of activity through the day are just as good. If you children are not used to being activity, encourage them to start with what they can do and build up to 60 minutes a day.

Here are some ways to help encourage your child to be active and get moving every day.

1. Set a good example. If your children see that you are physically active and have fun, they are more likely to be active and stay active throughout their lives. Take the dog for a regular walk, get on a bike, play cricket in the backyard.

2. Encourage your child to join a sports team or class, such as soccer, dance, basketball, or gymnastics at school or at your local community or recreation center.

3. Be sensitive to your child's needs. If your child feels uncomfortable participating in activities like sports, help him or her find physical activities that are fun and not embarrassing.

4. Be active together as a family. Assign active chores such as making the beds, washing the car, or vacuuming. Plan active outings such as a trip to the zoo, picnics or a walk through a local park.

5. Because his or her body is not ready yet, do not encourage your pre-adolescent child to participate in adult-style physical activity such as long jogs, using an exercise bike or treadmill, or lifting heavy weights. FUN physical activities are best for kids.

Kim Beardsmore M.B.A. (H.R.M.), B.Sc. (Biochemistry) is an independent Herbalife distributor, weight loss coach and creator of the online health & fitness magazine Weight Loss Health. For a free weight loss consultation, newsletter and resources to help you lose weight and keep it off forever, visit http://weight-loss-health.com.au Your online Herbalife store at http://weightlosshealth.herbalcoach.com Herbalife business opportunity: http://free2liv.com

Parenting

Writen by Stephen Graham

Many of us end up in this fortunate situation. Some of us plan on this opportunity and for others it happens as a matter of chance. We usually welcome this situation with happiness. Some do not relish the thought of parenthood and are very resentful about their predicament. Some of us possess an inborn attitude to handle the stress and joy of parenthood and some do not. Parenthood can bring out the best and sometimes the worst in people. We initially enjoy intimate relations with our partner involved in this situation. The relationship can deteriorate into unfortunate circumstances. A relationship can decay over time. Many relationships decline into one of separation. Historically women have been given greater power in the control over their children by the court system. Divorce and separation bring forth huge amounts of guilt and resentment towards the other partner. Men are beginning to enjoy the same equal rights and status as their female counterparts have enjoyed historically over time. In this day and age it is the fortunate couple who survive the pressures of a relationship or marriage over a considerable time period.

Many parents share the responsibilities of parenting from different physical locations. Relationships sour and new partners are acquired. Separated couples have to learn to cope with this phenomenon. It is easier for some separated couples to accomplish this than it is for others. One parent may be driven out of the situation by anger or resentment. Many parents are faced with desertion by the other partner. One parent may lose contact with their children because of the problems caused by these dilemmas. In the me first generation that we live in it is very difficult to sustain positive relationships over a period of time.

Many children do not possess the ability to differentiate problems between their parents and are not able to come to a comfortable resolution concerning those problems. They continue to love each parent and become very confused and resentful about the situation. Many young children can be adopted or absorbed by a family unit consisting of a step mother or father. The results can be quite favorable if the step parent gives parental loving care and takes the responsibility for that child. The step parent can determine that the child will not be treated any differently than his or her biological children and act accordingly. In these situations the child can be raised to maturity without suffering any ill effects caused by parental separation.

The parents living with the child should make every attempt to give time to that child and his learning experience. They should parent with a firm but gentle hand. Children can become involved in many situations that are both detrimental to their physical and emotional health. Parents should keep a watchful eye on the behavior of their children and the people that they associate with. There are many adults that are just waiting for the chance to prey on children. Negative influences on a child can have lasting effects and cause problems well into adulthood. Education and good behavior should be stressed. Bad behavior should be discouraged. Tolerance for their neighbors and friends should be encouraged. There have been many plans put forth by so called experts on the correct way to raise children. Many of the plans differ dramatically and are at odds with one another. Use the plans of an expert or follow the path of your heart. Expectations are high. The children of today are the leaders of tomorrow. Most parents expect the best from their children and offer their best in return.

Stephen Graham: Writes articles from life experiences and psychological studies. http://buckskinnews.blogspot.com http://huntn-n-fishn.blogspot.com http://goodstuffintexas.blogspot.com

Thirteen Values You Can Teach Through Homework

Writen by Oma Edoja

Are you a parent concerned about passing values on to your kids? Do you worry that you can't find the time, or don't know how? You don't need thirty-minute multi-media presentations! You can do it with homework. In those precious moments you spend supervising your child's homework, here are thirteen values you can subtly pass on:

1) Responsibility:
It's their homework, not yours, and it's them being assessed, not you. You'll help, but they'll do it, sans bribes and sans tantrums!

2) Integrity:
School rules regarding homework are to be kept; even though teacher isn't there e.g. "Thou shalt not "Xerox" thy friend's homework, but shalt do thine own." In other words, no cheating. They might get away with it at first, but the teacher is smart enough to catch on soon enough. Besides, they learn from doing their own work, and it helps the teacher find out where they need help.

3) Diligence:
Shoddy work won't do. They've got to pay proper attention and be thorough (it's parents' job to ensure this). Whatever's worth doing is worth doing well.

4) Punctuality:
Homework must be done, and handed in on time. Punctuality is a sign of self-respect, and respect for others. It shows how much you care.

5) Discipline:
In other words, self-control. Work comes before pleasure, so homework comes before TV/ Barbie/Play Station etc. The aim is to avoid forgetting it, rushing it later or doing shoddy work at the last minute.

6) Order:
Neat handwriting, proper arrangement of facts, careful handling of materials, stapling papers together, numbering pages etc. Work is easier when done orderly and the results are better appreciated. Order, or the lack of it, tells the kind of person you are. Orderly work earns you respect.

7) Justice:
You read right! You reap what you sow - good grades come from hard work, and following homework rules. Poor grades come from doing the opposite. Don't do it at all and you'll be penalized. And no, I won't make excuses for you to the teacher!

8) Excellence:
Your kids might not be A-students, but it's important that they work to the best of their ability. All my kids are left-handed so they all started off writing a few letters backwards. While I know that our pet isn't a "bog", and we don't sleep in a "ded", I did appreciate their efforts, and desire to complete assignments promptly and orderly. At four years of age that was acceptable. The focus here is on doing their best.

9) Self-improvement:
The more they practice, the better they get. You know they did the same thing yesterday (and the day before!), but today they're doing it better! Even mum, dad and the teacher learn to do things better everyday. It's important to always get better than you were yesterday. Never stop growing; you can never know it all.

10) Work ethic:
This deals with their beliefs about work (so don't let them hear you moan about Monday morning!). Work is a good thing, whether it's homework or any other kind. Work gets things done, and you feel good with the results. If you don't work, nothing gets done. When people don't do their work it creates problems for them, and others. So, homework is good for you. And parents, we've got to make this fun!

11) Choices:
There's always so much to do, and so little time. So we've got to choose what's important now, and leave the rest till later. The choices we make affect our lives, and we have to live with their consequences e.g. if you choose to watch TV/ go to a party/ play with a friend rather than doing homework, you will be penalized at school, get poor grades (if this is a habit) and not learn much. Kids must learn to think of the consequences of their actions.

12) Handling criticism:
We learn from our mistakes. Don't take it personally when the teacher marks your work wrong or asks you to repeat it. It's all for your good.

13) Team spirit:
Ask for help when you need it. Study with friends. No one is an island, no one knows everything. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness but strength – it shows you can assess your situation, and know what to do in a crisis.

These are just thirteen values you can teach at homework time (of course, not all at once!). And now that you've got the hang of it, I believe you can find some more! The key is to make the whole experience fun – private "you-and-me" time. No judging, just nudging.

No doubt you will pass on those values and create many pleasant memories in the process.

Happy homework time!

Oma Edoja is a motivational speaker, writer, infopreneur and former award-winning schoolteacher. She is also "mom" to three kids! Oma enjoys running inspirational programs for kids and teens, and motivational workshops for adults. Visit her web logs: http://theparentingmix.blogspot.com (for parenting insights and a few laughs!) and http://omaslounge.blogspot.com (for motivation and inspiration).

Teaching Your Children With Coupons

Writen by Melanie Breeze

Coupons can be a great tool in educating your child about saving money, being frugal, and shopping smart. Who doesn't want their children to grow up knowing how to save easily on every purchase? With coupon clipping you'll show them money saving skills they can use throughout their life!

Teaching your child with coupons can start at an early age. Pointing all of the inserts of the coupons in your Sunday paper can be a great way to teach children the colors. It is also a good way to read to your children, and the time spent will show them the value that coupons can bring to their life.

As your child grows, you can let them take a more active role in using the coupons you collect together. Letting them in on helping to manage your coupon folder will show them the importance of time and money management. Go through and get rid of old coupons together, pointing to a calendar to let them learn about time and expiration. Show them that organization and thinking ahead of a purchase will help them save money. These savings can be applied throughout their life, so it's important to get them playing an active role in your coupon management.

Another thing that makes coupons so great in your child's education is it teaches them math and counting skills. You can point out dollars off, letting them subtract from the purchase price, and teach them how much value can come from something that's free. You can calculate percentages and add savings amounts. Another idea is to let them get an allowance from all the savings they find. This will not only help motivate them to find great deals, but it can help you save a lot of money at the same time.

We all know the internet is playing an increasing role in everyone's lives. Did you know that coupons have found their way online? For most purchases you can always find an online coupon or promotion code that can be applied at checkout. Make sure to show your children about this easy way to save money by simply spending a couple minutes to find a coupon. And, these types of savings are still free and are even easier to find! You can just search on any of the search engines like Google or Yahoo and find a huge range of coupons for any retailer. Not only will this teach your child about coupons but they'll be learning the value of using computers and the internet to save them money.

We don't think about it much, but starting early to teach with your children with coupons is very important. They will learn about the calendar, math, and saving money. These tools you teach them now will last throughout their life, so make sure to get an early start in coupon clipping with kids!

Melanie Breeze CouponChief.com provides free online coupon codes and discounts for hundreds of popular internet retailers. With a newsletter and RSS feeds, they syndicate new coupon codes and discounts to motivated online shoppers.

Summer Camp Care Packages

Writen by Rachel Paxton

Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks forward to it every year. I can't believe next summer will be her last opportunity to go to camp before she goes off to college.

Our daughter started going to summer camp when she was in middle school and has gone every year since. She finally graduated from camper and kitchen help to camp counselor this year. Every year I send her a care package with candy and other treats and she always looks forward to receiving it.

Our daughter just returned from spending two weeks on a ministry trip to Honduras, was home for one day, and then is going off to church camp for a week. I knew we wouldn't have much time to talk between trips, so I decided to write letters to her to send to her at camp.

I wrote to her about some of my day-to-day activities and about what she was missing in the news. I wrote about Hurricane Dennis and how worried I was for her so far away from home. I told her she was always in my prayers and how much I missed her.

Just in the two weeks she was gone she missed her baby brother's hair falling out and her brothers' first colds. I knew she missed her baby brothers very much and missed their baby hugs and kisses. I told her about what they were doing and that they missed her too.

Because we like to spend a lot of time talking about our spiritual lives, I shared with her what I had been learning in my daily devotions and shared what my prayers were for her.

I wrote three letters to my daughter to open on different days and included pictures of her brothers that she likes to carry around with her wherever she goes. I packaged up the letters with some candy and sent her care package off to her today.

If you decide to write to your child at camp, here are a few tips:

* If your children are young and this is their first time away from home, make sure to send several letters to let them know you're thinking about them and that you miss them.

* Have other family members write to your child also. Kids love to receive mail.

* If you have a child who would be embarrassed by letters from home, just send a care package with some of their favorite candy or other small items. One year I sent my daughter a pair of Sponge Bob boxer briefs, and they were the hit of the camp.

* Be creative with your packing. You can use a 2-liter pop bottle as a mailing container. Cut a slit in the side to place items in it and then tape over the slit. The kids will get a kick out of seeing what's in the bottle.

* Depending on how long it takes the mail to get to the camp or how long your child will be gone, you may have to mail the package the day your child leaves, or even before they leave.

* If you know any of the other kids at camp, like your child's closest friends, don't be afraid to send them a note or treat too. I often send thinking-of-you cards to some of my daughter's friends, and I know they love receiving mail from people other than their parents.

In this day and age, letter writing is becoming a dying art. If my daughter keeps the letters I wrote her someday they will be a special keepsake for her, capturing an exciting time in her life.

We don't always take the time to do little things for our kids or tell them how we feel about them. Writing to them at camp is a great way to keep in touch with them while also sending them a welcome treat.

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

How Does God Have Patience With Us

Writen by Carey Kinsolving

"God waits until he gets his turn," says Savannah, age 5.

His turn?

This sounds like something my elementary school principal might have said when I was called to his office. In my case, "his turn" usually translated into a paddle being applied to the seat of my pants.

God has patience with us "by waiting in line," says Ashton, 5. I suppose he's waiting in line to get his turn. Perhaps Ashton was considering how we make God wait in line by trying to solve problems by ourselves instead of turning to him for answers.

"God has patience with me and everyone else because we all mess up a lot," says Gary, 10. "Twenty-four hours a day, someone is sinning," adds Andrew, 11.

Or as Emily, 8, says, "God knows what's going on."

"God has patience with us because he is so, so, so very nice," says Christian, 7. Yes, God is nice or gracious in that he doesn't judge us immediately when we sin against him. But don't mistake God's slowness to anger for a compromise of his righteousness. Rather, his patience gives us time to turn to him.

"If God didn't have patience, we wouldn't be here right now," says Peter, 10. Yes, we wouldn't be "here" to "hear" God patiently calling us. The Apostle Paul wrote that those who harden their hearts against God store up his wrath against themselves for Judgment Day. Another translation reads "treasuring up for yourself wrath" (Romans 2:5).

Who in their right mind would want to invest in a "Wrath Account" administered by God?

"God has patience with us because he is perfect," says Madeline, 11. "God knows we are like sheep and are not smart. God knows we are sinners and need His mercy. God can give us His mercy when we ask for it."

Sheep grazing in green valleys seem so peaceful. It's easy to forget that sheep are not the brightest of God's creatures. Without a good shepherd, they're vulnerable to all kinds of hazards.

The prophet Isaiah wrote: "All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 53:6).

In the ultimate paradox, Jesus is both the sacrificial lamb who dies for the sins of the world and the good shepherd who gives his life for the sheep. "God has patience with us because he had to sit and watch his son die on the cross," says Trey, 11. "He is waiting for us to believe in him," adds Elizabeth, 9.

"God wants us to be patient with others to show them we are Christians," says Sarah, 10. One of the biblical words used for patience is "perseverance." It's not just passively tolerating unpleasant circumstances. It's active endurance in the face of adversity. The Apostle Paul wrote to the new Christians at Corinth that the signs of an apostle, which included miracles, were "accomplished among you with all perseverance."

Sarah is right on target. If Christians belong to a patient Father, his patience should be reflected in their lives. Persevering patience in the lives of Christians is one of the best advertisements to those who don't know Jesus. Try turning the other cheek after you've been slapped with injustice, ridicule or scorn for believing in a man who rose from the dead almost 2,000 years ago.

Point to ponder: Patience is perseverance in the face of adversity or injustice.

Scripture to remember: "For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls" (Hebrews 12:3).

Question to consider: Is Jesus prompting you to show his patience to someone?

Carey Kinsolving is a syndicated columnist, producer, author, speaker and website developer. To see Carey's Kid TV Interviews and more, visit http://www.KidsTalkAboutGod.org/ The Kids Talk About God website contains free, online content for children and families. Print free lessons from the "Kids Color Me Bible" and make your own book. Watch for free the adventures of an 11-year-old girl traveling around the world, visiting missionaries in the Mission Explorers Streaming Video. Print Bible pictures drawn by kids that illustrate Scripture verses. Receive a complimentary, weekly e-mail subscription to our Devotional Bible Lessons. Bible quotations in this column are from the New King James Version. Copyright 2006 Carey Kinsolving

Children Learn What You Teach So Be Careful What You Teach

Writen by David Perdew

On our swing through Tennessee last weekend, we stopped to see my daughter -- my oldest child -- who had moved there from Atlanta last year. She took a new job in the whitewater rafting business.

She loves the outdoor recreation industry. Her old job was in the same business, but she worked in an office building in Atlanta managing several outposts in north Georgia. She decided it didn't make much sense to live in the city if she loved being in the country. I'm proud of her for making that rational decision that helped her move her life in a more peaceful direction.

From an early age, I pushed my kids to do well, to be the best, to see no limitations, to succeed in everything. It's the American way. We think happiness is achieved, that it just can't possibly just be. That's the way I lived. It was the way I'd been taught, just as I was teaching what I knew to my kids.

Unfortunately, what I set up was a world where they could never achieve enough -- even after I realized the error of my ways years ago.

Albert Einstein, one of my favorite spiritual gurus, had a different take on it:

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

(Young parents, take note: It's nearly impossible to undo what you've done in your children's early years. The only thing you can do later is be a better example.)

So, as our first visit drew near, my daughter said, "I'm really nervous about showing you where I live. There's a junk yard next door."

See! There it is. That fear that dad will be judgmental. It shows up less frequently now, but I know that's it's always lurking in the background. Yet, I couldn't be more proud of her.

But when we arrived, she was standing on the front porch of a little batten board cabin at the base of a range of Tennessee mountains. The cabin was really nice, clean, well-decorated and -- next to a junkyard.

So what? She's happy.

How great is that? After all those years of judgment, my daughter has figured out a way to be happy. I'm so proud of her.

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Top 50 Mom Quotations

Writen by Danielle Hollister

1. "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother."
   -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

2. "I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."
   -- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

3. "A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
   -- Agatha Christie

4. "You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."
   -- Albert Einstein

5. "By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
   -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

6. "Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."
   -- Aristotle

7. "Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like."
   -- Arnold Bennett

8. "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but
   whose place no one else can take."
   -- Cardinal Mermillod

9. "A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary."
   -- Dorothy Canfield Fisher

10. "I really learned it all from mothers."
    -- Dr. Benjamin Spock

11. "If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylum would be filled with mothers."
    -- Edgar Watson Howe

12. "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
    -- George Washington (1732-1799)

13. "The mother's heart is the child's schoolroom."
    -- Henry Ward Beecher

14. "What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin."
    -- Henry Ward Beecher

15. "The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."
    -- Honore' de Balzac

16. "Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character."
    -- Hosea Ballou

17. "Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not."
    -- James Joyce

18. "The best academy, a mother's knee."
    -- James Russell Lowell

19. "The phrase "working mother" is redundant."
    -- Jane Sellman

20. "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
    -- Jewish proverb

21. "Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process."
    -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

22. "A boy's best friend is his mother."
    -- Joseph Stefano

23. "Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, and sisters, aunts and cousins, but only one mother in the whole world."
    -- Kate Douglas Wiggin

24. "Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother."
    -- Lin Yutang

25. "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it."
    -- Mark Twain

26. "Motherhood is like Albania-- you can't trust the descriptions in the books, you have to go there."
    -- Marni Jackson

27. "We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later; and the birth and growth of the spirit, in those who are attentive to their own inner life, are slow and exceedingly painful. Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth."
    -- Mary Antin

28. "To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power."
    -- Maya Angelou

29. "Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions."
    -- Nancy Stahl

30. "Youth fades, love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; a mother's secret hope outlives them all."
    -- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1775-1817)

31. "All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
    -- Oscar Wilde

32. "When I was a child, my mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
    -- Pablo Picasso

33. "A mother's hardest to forgive. Life is the fruit she longs to hand you, Ripe on a plate. And while you live, Relentlessly she understands you."
    -- Phyllis McGinley

34. "Men are what their mothers made them."
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

35. "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."
    -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

36. "A mother is a mother still, The holiest thing alive."
    -- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

37. "People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally 'being lived.' They are acting out scripts written by parents, associates, and society."
    -- Stephen R. Covey

38. "Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial."
    -- Sydney Biddle Barrows

39. "The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes one a mother—which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician."
    -- Sydney J. Harris

40. "An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest."
    -- Spanish proverb

41. "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
    -- Theodore Hesburgh

42. "A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love."
    -- Thomas C. Haliburton

43. "Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing."
    -- Toni Morrison

44. "Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives."
    -- Unknown

45. "A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them."
    -- Victor Hugo

46. "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us when adversity takes the place of prosperity when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
    --Washington Irving

47. "The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother."
    -- W. C. Fields

48. "A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it."
    -- W. D. Howells

49. "Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."
    --William Makepeace Thackeray

50. "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world."
    -- William Ross Wallace

Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp

Choosing The Right Kids Summer Camp

Writen by Nicole O'Reilly

Selecting the right kids summer camp can seem like an impossible task with so many options and alternatives now available. For parents new to 'camp life' in need of some help we've compiled our 6 top tips for parents in selecting the summer camp that best suits your child.

There are now close to 9 000 kids summer camps operating in the USA and Canada and more internationally, giving a huge choice in terms of length of stay, program and location. If you have a child with special needs, whether they be ophysical, intellectual or health related, there are a great range of options still open to you. Basically whatever pirsuit, activity or endeavour your child might have, it will be covered by one of the kids summer camp programs available.

1. Type of Camp

The choice exists between a day camp, overnight camp and residential camp. Allow your child to participate in this decision as he/she will be the best person to indicate which style of camp they are comfortable with.

2. Location and Size

Once you have determined which style of camp suits your child at this time, you need to decide how far you are willing to travel. Day campers need to be picked up at the end of each day, and an overnight stay is just that. Residential camps on the otherhand can entertain your kids for qweeks at a time so distance may be less of an issue.

3. Accreditation and Staff

There are varied bodies which accredit summer camps, the ACA (American Camping Association) being the largest and best recognised. A large percentage of camps are not accredited, but this does not for a moment mean that they aren't great camps. If camps are not on the ACA list then you will need to ask each individuaul camp how they maintain and improve their program each year.

Staffing is linked to accreditation in how a camp selects, trains and pays their staff. Be sure you are happy with the procedures your chosen camp follows for staffing, if you have concerns query the management or go elsewhere.

4. Recommendation or Referral

Use recommendations from parents who you know whose children have visited a certain camp before. They can give an honest appraisal of the camp program. Alternatively, request references from your shortlist of camps to give you further information on the qualities of the camp and any shortcomings.

5. Your Budget

Choosing a particular camp in the end may come down to pricing and whether it fits into you budget. Just because a camp is more expensive does not mean it necessarily runs a better program. Certain camps are supplemented and thus are able to keep their fees lower. There are concessions or discounts sometimes made available for low income families.

6. Ask Questions Don't be afraid to ask questions. Review camp websites, brochures and DVDs and arrange a visit to the camp to really get a feel for it. If you have any last areas of concern then ask a staff member /coordinator in person when you visit.

For the full version of this article with a special feature on Summer Camp Programs- go to Kids Summer Camps.

The place to go for all your games needs for 0-8 year olds is Kids Fun and Games. Educational baby and toddler games, party games, crafts, indoor and outdoor games, festivals and an informative buyers guide for child toys and equipment.

First Year With Twins A Fathers Point Of View

Writen by Dan Brunkow

People always ask my wife and I: "How did you ever do it with two babies? I just can't imagine it". My answer is always the same…we just do. We just do what needs to be done. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, it's stressful. But we find a way to get the things done that need to be done. That's really the key, is finding a way that works for you and your spouse. I've listed some things in this article that have worked for us, maybe you can use some of the same things to help you through the first year.

Get into a routine

I can't stress this enough. In my opinion, this is the most important thing during the first year if you've two or more babies under the age of one at home…get everyone into a routine and stick to it. Feed them at the same time, change diapers at the same time, put them down for naps at the same time, put them to bed at the same time, etc… This will make it a lot easier on you! If you feed them at the same time, you always know when they have been fed last. You won't be wondering, "was that Colby I fed a half hour ago or was that Camden"? Trust me, you will find yourself asking those kinds of questions. If you put them down for a nap at the same time, you can take a nap yourself!

If you don't get into a routine like this, you will always be feeding a baby, or changing diapers, or trying to get one of them to fall asleep. It won't be long and you'll be worn out, because there's always be something to do.

Sleep

I know that this seems impossible now with two children under the age of one, but you have to try and get enough sleep. I'm not saying that you can sleep as much as you did before you had children, but try and get as many hours of quality sleep in a row as you can.

When the twins were less than about 4 or 5 months old, and still not sleeping through the night, my wife and I worked out a system that seemed to work pretty well. Since she stayed home during the day while I went to work, we decided to sleep in shifts. Usually, she would go to bed between 8 or 8:30, and I would stay up with the twins. No matter what happened, they were my responsibility until about midnight or 1:00am. Sometimes they would sleep during that time, sometimes they wouldn't. It didn't matter, that was my wife's time to sleep. Then, at around midnight or 1:00am, I would change diapers and feed them again before putting them to bed. I also went to bed at that time.

Usually we could count on them to sleep for another two to three hours before they woke up again. That would put us in the 2:00am to 3:00am range. Then it was my wife's turn to get up with them, feed them and change diapers, and it was my time to sleep.

This system seemed to work pretty well for us…it was a way for both of us to get around five or six hours of quality sleep in a row. The bottom line is to find something that works for both you and your wife because you both are going to need as much sleep as possible to make it through the next day.

Divide and Conquer

For those of you guys out there that still believe it's a woman's job to take care of the baby, that's just not going to work with twins. If you expect your wife to feed the babies, dress them, give them baths, change all of the diapers, put them down for naps, she's going to be very tired and very irritable. You know how the saying goes…"when mom's not happy, nobody's happy".

So guys…get used to helping out. That includes helping out with the babies and around the house. Don't be afraid to change a diaper, make a bottle, do the dishes, sweep the floor. In fact, it's even better if you do these things without being asked or told to do them first. Trust me, it will be easier on everyone. Having two babies at one time is very time-consuming…there are always lots of things to do. Pitch in and your marriage as well as the babies will reap the benefits.

Make time for yourself

As anyone with kids can tell you, once in awhile you just need to get away and have some time for yourself. As much as you love your kids, sometimes you need time without the kids. My wife and I are both pretty flexible when it comes to allowing each other some time away. I don't mind when she goes to a movie with her friends, or plays bunco (whatever that is!) with the neighborhood bunco group. She gives me the same freedom to play golf or go fishing once in awhile with my friends. As long as neither one of you take it to an extreme, you should encourage each other to do it.

You also need to make sure you work in some time where you and your spouse spend time together without the kids. Don't feel guilty about it…think of it as a sanity check! My wife and I try and get our parents to watch the kids once in awhile while we go out for dinner or even for a weekend away. We just feel more comfortable having our parents watch them rather than a babysitter, but that's really more of a personal preference thing for us. However you do it, just make sure you and your spouse make some time for each other without the kids.

The house just isn't going to be as clean

This is an important lesson for first time parents of twins. Before my wife and I started having kids, we were both kind of anal about keeping the house spotless, straightened up, and things just so. It hasn't been that way for quite awhile now…and you know what, it just doesn't matter. Our house is usually a mess, the dishes don't get done as soon as they used to, and I don't cut the grass whenever I see a blade of grass higher than another. With all of the responsibilities that go with having children, especially under the age of one, you just won't have as much time as you used to. Get used to it!

About the Author

Dan Brunkow is the owner and moderator of http://www.twinadvice.com - a site dedicated to providing parenting advice to parents of twins, from parents of twins.

Talking To Kids About Sex

Writen by Michael Grose

A number of research projects have shown that children and teenagers are quite savvy when it comes to observing the parenting skills of their mothers and fathers. Generally, they rank mothers higher than fathers in most areas concerning communication, which is probably pretty close to the mark.

One area where they say both genders are falling down is in the area of talking to kids about sexuality. It would appear that fathers are poor overall and mothers are not much better. Mothers do talk to children about sexuality but talk with girls more than boys and when they do they stick to plumbing and steer clear of topics such as masturbation and homosexuality. There appears to be five traits shared by parents who are able to talk openly about sexual issues with their children:

1. Parents give factual, truthful answers to children's questions.

2. Parents listen to children.

3. Children are able to voice their opinions about sexual issues.

4. Parents don't insist that children stick to a rigid code of behaviour.

5. Parents use real life opportunities to engage children in discussions about sexuality.

Talking to kids about sex is hard work. Parents need both the processes in place to communicate with kids and the confidence to engage them about personal matters.

Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is the director of Parentingideas, the author of seven books for parents and a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

Family Meetings 101

Writen by Deborah Shelton

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and validated. They also allow younger children to feel they are an important part of the decision-making process when it comes to family vacations and other major and minor family functions.

Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as:

• Speak in a calm tone.

• Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm.

• Turn off the TV, radio and telephones.

• Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas.

• Listen to all opinions before making a decision.

• If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.

Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples:

• Circle Time

  Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a "talking token". This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak. Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person.

• Restaurant Rendezvous

  Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings. For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.

• Hobby Haven

  I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café in their favorite bookstore. And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun.

However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!

About The Author

Deborah Shelton is a mother, freelance writer, and author of the brand new book, "The Five Minute Parent: Fun & Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones." Visit Deborah's website for more family-friendly ideas: http://www.fiveminuteparent.com; deborah@fiveminuteparent.com

An Effective Discipline Method

Writen by Morgan Hamilton

When discussing how to discipline children, there are many theories. Discipline for children can be a difficult subject, and opinions vary across several lines of reasoning. Parents can find themselves frustrated from yelling, repeating themselves, and fighting with their children to get them to follow instructions or behave appropriately. In spite of all these differences, there are most definitely some effective techniques that can be deployed in terms of finding a discipline method that works. While no technique is the answer in itself, successful discipline can be achieved by combining several methods that work for your own family. One method of discipline is called 1-2-3 magic. It is an effective way to set boundaries, yet at the same time the child feels as though they have a say in what is going on. The method also works quite well for teachers in a classroom setting too.

This is how the discipline method works:

One direction or instructions are given to the child by the parent, and the child fails to follow the instructions, the parent simply tells the child, "That's one. Three will result in a time-out", or some other form of punitive action can be taken depending upon the seriousness of the offense. This in empowers the the child to take responsibility for his or herself by acting in a desirable manner or suffer the consequences.

If he still refuses to follow the instruction, the parent follows up by saying, "That's two." At this point it would probably be a good idea to once again repeat the previous directions. If the child stops the inappropriate behavior and follows the instruction, then the problem has been solved. If the child still refuses to follow instructions than the parents simply states "That's three," and follows with the consequence stated at the start of the counting.

Please note that this method should not be used in the case of a child hitting or otherwise hurting another person, or if the child says something totally inappropriate that needs to be stopped immediately. In those cases, a consequence needs to happen immediately, as if the child has gone straight to "three."

It is also important to point out that you must follow through on the consequence of the action otherwise this discipline method will be rendered ineffective. In other words, the kid will call your bluff.

This discipline method can most helpful for parents or adults who are tired of repeating themselves and yelling to get a child to follow directions. Simply counting can replace yelling.

The appropriate consequence should be dictated by the child's age. It can mean forfeiting their allowance, losing television privileges, extra chores, early bedtime, or grounding, to name a few. The more matter-of-fact and unemotional the parent can be when administering the consequence, and even when doing the counting itself, the more the discipline method can be effective.

Reacting emotionally to a child's behavior can signify weakness and dilute the message and thereby undermined the lesson. If the parent stays calm, the child loses that feeling of power over the parent's emotional state. There will be little or no attempts at manipulation.

Meeting on discipline can be a rather difficult and delicate function. This 1-2-3 method can be a tool for establishing authority in a way that preserves the adult's dignity and emotional state, and reduce frustration for all involved. I would suggest looking at your local bookstore or on the Internet for the book "1-2-3 Magic" for more information.

Morgan Hamilton offers his findings and insights regarding family. You can get interesting and informative information here at Discipline Method

10 Steps To A Happy Family

Writen by Steve Farmer

1. Focus on outcomes not problems

Each member of the family needs to understand and communicate what their desired outcome is in any situation. In this way every part of your family team can move toward that objective rather than focus on the reasons why it can not happen.

2. Focus on feedback not failure

When sharing negative information always deliver it in a constructive way. Share how things could be better not how they went wrong.

3. Focus on Possibilities – Possibilities are endless

Keep your family looking to the future and not to the past. The future is yet to happen so you have the chance to change it. The past can only be remembered and learned from.

4. Understand roles

Clearly communicate that every part of the family has a role to play. Remember that the roles can and will change. Admit as a parent you don't know it all (at least to yourself). Define your own weakness and supplement them with the help of others.

5. Delegate

Letting go of the belief that the parent must always be the leader is very difficult but must be done. It is important for you as a parent and your children that you recognize that Kids can do stuff. Hand in hand with this you must also learn to "Be there when you are there". Too often adults are physically present but disengaged in their children's activities.

6. Be positive

Set positive goals that the family believes are achievable and worthwhile. It is much easier to move toward something then it is to move away from something. Frequently smile, laugh at yourself, and play with kids and adults just for the joy of it

7. Have clear visions

What do you as a family stand for? What does it mean to be part of the family? Clarify expectations so everyone understands and buys in to them. Be clear on what you need to happen not what you want to happen. When is good enough, enough and when is perfection required?

8. Continue to learn and grow

Things change so change with them. The world is not he same as it was last year or five years ago or ten. So why do your actions and responses have to be the same. People grow and change that is the miracle of our lives. The relationship you have and the role you played in the life of your 2 year old son is different when he is 12 and 20. Anticipate problems that will happen as your family grows and changes and plan your response.

9. Recognize people don't function in a vacuum Communicate - Communicate

Share your ideas from your head and heart. It is just as important for the family to understand each others motivations and intentions. Listen 2 times as much as you talk that's why god gave you 2 ears and only 1 mouth.

10. Go after what you want - ACT

Action is better then inaction. Model this behavior and the rest of the family will do the same. Never forget COURAGE is taking action in spite of fear not being fearless.

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Steve Farmer is a leader in the field of Parent Coaching. As a skilled professional coach, he brings the power of individual coaching to family living. In our frequently over stressed and under involved society, he empowers parents to raise confident, self-reliant, and happy children.

A devoted parent himself, Steve understands the many demands and challenges facing today's parent. He also knows that amidst the chaos, parents sometimes need support in maintaining both their sanity and a balanced life. Steve helps parents find solutions to their parenting problems.

Steve can be reached at his website www.innovations4life.com