Sideline Dad

Writen by J Gardener

You scored great seats for this game-right on the fifty. Now, it's nail-biting time. Your team's down by six, but they're on the fifteen, inside the red zone-it's third-and-five, with thirty seconds left. It's now or never, as your quarterback keeps the ball, slips around the end, dodges one tackler, bowls over another, lunges for the pylon-he's in! Your cheer lifts you out of your seat, you spill popcorn everywhere.

Then you see it-the yellow flag. Offensive holding-no touchdown. The clock runs out. But wait a minute-a fellow fan storms the field, going right for the ref. A scuffle takes place, then another fan goes for your team's coach-screaming something about boneheaded play-calling. It starts to get ugly, when Security rushes in to break things up. Thank goodness this field has Security. It has to-this is Pop Warner Football, after all. No telling, what these crazy fathers are capable of.

The "football" or "baseball" or "sideline" father is the male equivalent of the infamous stage-mother. He prowls the sidelines at his son's games, screaming advice at the coach, curses at the ref, and criticism at his own son.

Believe it or not, there are highly qualified and motivated would-be coaches who won't go near Pop Warner Football or Little League Baseball or the local soccer league, any more. At best, for coaches and referees, the presence of fathers on the sidelines can be distracting and annoying-at worst, it really can be dangerous. Angry fathers have assaulted and injured coaches, everywhere. The only losers, when good coaches can't be recruited, are the players-the kids-who will never benefit from the patience and expertise these men can bring to the game.

The old adage, "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game", seems to have vanished from our collective consciousness, today. The pressure to win, at all costs, is pervasive in our culture. Today's most popular TV shows-the "reality" shows-joyfully encourage ruthless behavior in pursuit of victory.

Adults have the experience to make their own judgements about such behavior, but young children are still going through the development of their interpersonal relationship skills, and team sports can provide valuable lessons:

How to work together, toward a common goal;
How to accept and process the discipline required to succeed;
How to blend individual talents and abilities into a successful group effort;
How to learn from defeat, and work together to improve future performance.

Most of all, team sports for kids ought to be about having fun. It's difficult for a boy to have a good time on the field when his dad is screaming criticism from the sidelines, either at him or the coach.

All dads want the best for their kids. Even sideline dads are motivated by the desire to see their kids do well and enjoy the feeling that comes with winning. But no one wins every time, and that's a valuable lesson, too-that disappointment is survivable.

The best feeling kids can have, though, isn't necessarily reflected by the scoreboard at the end of the game. The best feeling is the pure fun kids have had for generations, just chasing a ball and each other, in the dirt and grass, not caring about the score-or who's declared victorious. Plenty of time for that, when they grow up.

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