Can Your Child Handle That Bully

Writen by Cheng Cheng Tan

Have you noticed if that your child have been giving excuses for not going to school?

I noticed that when my elder son, Zhi Yang, was three years old, he started giving excuses for not going to school. He claims that he wants to stay at home. When questioned why, he simply kept quiet.

It suddenly dawned on me that he could have some unpleasant experiences in school. I questioned him further and he claims that his classmate, Johnny, hit him using a ruler.

Immediately, I realised that I could have overlooked bullying in schools and decided to take some action so that my son will not be afraid to go to school.

I did not confront Johnny nor his parents as I did not witness the bullying incident myself. I did, however, alert the school teachers about it.

The Principal, Eileen, is a a very experienced and patient teacher. She listened to what I had to say and I asked her to take note of my son and Johnny. She assured me that she would look into the matter.

Few days later, Eileen pulled me aside to talk to me. She said she talked to the other teachers and students and found out that Johnny actually did hit my son with a ruler. She had already made Johnny apologize for it. I was relieved and thanked her for finding out the truth.

Bullying in school is quite common and parents need to equip children with the knowledge and know-how of how to deal with bullies.

A child who is being called a "Fat Whale" three times a day will definitely not grow up feeling very confident about herself. The child will have to carry this baggage for the rest of his or her life if parents do not notice and put a stop to it. Children can becomes very bitter in extreme cases and constantly think that they are useless.

Bullying can come in several forms like verbally calling names, fighting and bullies taking the victim's things without permission.

Parents have to take note of any changes in behaviour of a child. It could bruises, cuts or worse still blood dripping. Older kids may need more pocket money, more stationeries (e.g. pens, pencils) or could come home with dirty clothes more frequently. Children could be more withdrawn and do not want to talk as much. They fear that if they tell their parents, parents may think they are the ones who did the wrong thing first.

Here are some tips for parents and children regarding bullies:

- As mentioned above, getting the teachers and principal to help is one of the things parents can do.

- Do something different.
For example, if the bully constantly calls your child 'fat slob'. The time the bully comes near, get your child to say "I may be fat but you are ugly and that is worse. I can lose weight but you can NEVER change the way you look".

Role play with your child. Let your child be the bully, then the next time round let your child be the victim. Let him have a feel of how a bully think and so your child will not have to be afraid of the bully.

- Do not give the bully what he wants.
Why does the bully want to bully a child? The bully want the victim to cry and then everyone will laught at the victim.

With the support of parents, teach your child not to react to such nasty remarks. Instead, just stand up and walk off. Teach your child to learn to pretend as if he had not heard anything.

It will take some time before the bullies know that it is not fun anymore and they will stop. Parents and the child need to persist and win over the bully. You could teach your child about winning, persistance and even helping other children next time.

- Teach your child to make more friends.
A bully usually bully timid and lonely kids. Ask your child to have more friends around him and stand by him. If there are people in the group on the same side as your child, the bully is much less likely to take action. Remember unity is strength.

We learn that the child's social skills are very important and can help him in many more ways than one. A child with many friends never feels lonely or lost and if he needs help, he know who to ask. Of course, they have to be the right kind of friends too.

- Teach your child to be assertive.
Be firm and tell the bully the stop what he does or he will report it to the teacher. Let him practice by saying 'I do not like you to...................... Please stop now or I will let the teacher know.'

- Support your child.
Remember all the love and 'I love you' you have given to your child. Ensure him that you are always there for him and will always support him. Make him feel invincible and he can take on the world even if he is alone.

With all these, I am almost certain your child can face up to any bully and handle the bully. I strongly believe all kids are special and no one deserves to be bullied.

Cheng Cheng is an Asian mother(Singaporean) with two boys age about four and five. I have learnt a lot from them, other parents and books. I strongly believe that there must be a balance between love and discipline. Building confidence in a child is also important so that he can face the world without me one day. Find out more about how parenting can be fun and easy at http://www.raisingconfidentkids.com

The Power Of Reading

Writen by L.J. Davis

Reading to your child at a young age is one of the most effective tools for expanding his mind and instilling a lifelong love of learning. Reading a good book allows your child to travel to places she has never been, to meet people she has never met, and to develop an understanding of how to deal with a variety of physical and emotional situations.

Reading to your child also helps you develop an emotional connection. Whether you have her cuddle up in your lap, nestle with him while he is winding down for bed, or read to her while waiting for food in a restaurant, you are connecting. Reading to your child from an early age will also help him be successful in school. Reading out loud will help him learn language and become familiar with words. Reading is the foundation for developing an understanding of conceptual information and it sparks imagination!

Your child is never too young to be read to. Frankly, you should begin reading to your child while in the womb. During this time, use reading as a way of familiarizing the baby to your voice. If both parents take turns reading, it is even better. Imagine, before the baby is even born, the act of reading helps you connect and it can help parents reconnect with each other. When your child is born, the adventure begins. During the "easy" phase of infancy when your child is not physically able to explore his/her world, reading to your child helps him feel loved and comforted. Nestled in your arms with a favorite picture book, your baby will, at first, seem unaware of what is going on. But is she?

When my daughters were infants, I would read a series of picture books called the "Find The" board books by Stephen Cartwright. These books have lively illustrations, but no words. Guided by a series of images that included pictures of children and animals, each book asked children to find the piglet, the duck, the teddy, the puppy, the bird, or the kitten. When my daughters were very small, I would hold the book in front of them and while their heads wobbled about, I would ask, "Ceiley, where's the bird." Of course, there was no response, so I would point out where the bird was and, in doing so, I would describe the picture and put it into context. For several months, I would pull out the book and ask, "Where's the piglet!" One day, an interesting thing happened. When I asked the magical question, my daughter lifted a chubby finger and pointed to the piglet. Had she understood what I had been saying all along? I will probably never know but one thing is certain, before the age of one, she knew what a piglet was, what the word "find" meant, and she used her magnificent brain to tell her finger to point to the picture of the pig. All because I read a book. Her mind was indeed a blank slate upon which I could impress ideas and concepts.

Reading to your child should become second nature. Anytime, anywhere is an opportunity to read to your child. During the hectic toddler days, books can be lifesavers in public places. If you have to stand in line at a bank, take a book bag along filled with engaging books that your child enjoys. Before they get fussy, take out a book and start reading. Yes, it is very difficult to read to your child while you are holding him and standing up at the same time! Instead, put her in a stroller and bend down. As you read to your child, you are using your time preciously. By bending down, you are coming down to his level. By reading, you are expanding her knowledge and growing neurons. Make your waiting time, his reading time! Reading while waiting also works well if you have several children with you. Although my daughters are 11 and 6, my oldest daughter will still lean over and read along to the book I am reading to my youngest, despite carrying along her own stash of Harry Potter and Manga books. The key is that, by making reading part of your child's everyday experiences, she will come to expect that reading is the norm.

If you are not a reader and do not enjoy reading, you have a great obstacle to overcome. If you do not enjoy reading and/or you were not brought up with reading in the home, it will be doubly difficult for you to get in the habit of reading. Please, don't let this stop you! The exciting thing about being human is that you can change anytime. Start slowly. Find a topic that interests you and start reading. Buy a bookcase and make it a goal to slowly fill it up with children's books, classics, or whatever else suits your fancy.

Read to your child. Engage his imagination. Don't assume that children read at a certain age. There are so many things that you can do to prepare them for the day when they start to decipher letters and words on their own. Lay the foundation early in life and your child will reap wonderful rewards.

L.J. Davis is the author of A Simple Brown Leaf, a story for a new generation of children.

"Every child has a purpose. Every child asks the question, 'Who am I going to become.'"

Learn more at ljdavis.com

©2005 L.J. Davis

Mothers Day Mother And Wife

Writen by CD Mohatta

Mother's day is approaching soon -a day to celebrate the motherhood. It is a day to thank mothers for all that they sacrifice for their children. A mother practically gives away her hobbies, her interests and many times her job to raise her children. Nature makes a mother like that. She will protect her children against all the dangers and give them all the comfort that she can. How do women balance their role between being a mother and a wife? Can any man do that? It looks very difficult, rather impossible. Men will talk a lot, but when comes to do this fine balancing, not many will succeed at all.

How many men realize the work done by their wives? Rather they start feeling jealous that their wife is paying more attention to kids than them? It sounds ridiculous. Instead of making such complaints that are outrageous, men should make all attempts to help their wives and share as much burden as possible. A man who earns can say - I draw a paycheck of this much amount. What will a mother who works round the clock say about her paycheck? Her paycheck is the smile on face of her healthy children and satisfaction of her husband. No monetary value can be put on that.

A wife who is also a mother draws no contract with those she cares for. She makes no pre conditions. For a woman, who loves her husband, her man is very important and for a mother, her children are most important. Women bear many injustices. A lot of them work for years to only get a divorce at the end. To restart the life with kids must be a real tough job for a divorcee woman. Society that is male dominated should not only acknowledge their mothers, but also their wives. Women deserve much more recognition than they get.

CDMohatta writes text for free cardsincluding mothers day ecards and free birthday cards