The Value Of Jigsaw Puzzles For Very Young Children

Writen by Barbara White

Jigsaw puzzles have a lot of educational value for children of all ages. This is because to do a jigsaw requires a child to use several different aspects of the thinking process.

A baby learns to recognize objects by their shape and not necessarily what position the object is in. A chair is a chair whether it is upright, lying down, or upside down-it doesn't matter. The simple puzzles produced for younger children develop more refined and defined skills and recognition.

One of the first things a young child will learn is that it does matter which way up the pieces to fit in the hole. A typical early childhood puzzle is wooden with a picture and has spaces where the pieces fit to complete the picture. With a street scene, for example, there might be a separate car shape, bus shape, and a truck shape that complete a puzzle. These puzzles are typically robust as the first response of a child is to try to force the piece into place taking no notice of its shape. With adult guidance the young child learns to manipulate the piece until it does fit exactly.

There are several learning experiences that can be drawn from these very basic puzzles. Firstly it's the hand eye coordination to manipulate the puzzle piece into position. To get the piece in also involves observation of the shape of the hole and the shape of the puzzle piece. At first the child deals with the problem by trial and error. The example and guidance of an adult begins to solidify the thinking process. The child starts to apply spatial awareness and mental manipulation as well as physical. This comes however, after the child has learned to put the piece in correctly through trial and error and memory.

The role of the adult at this stage is very important. The conversation about the picture, talking and demonstrating the correct method to complete it, accelerates the child's learning process. Puzzles can create a great opportunity for increase in vocabulary, and recognition of objects and situations outside the child's immediate world. The fact that the child learns that the piece only fits one way is in fact a pre reading skill. A letter needs to be the right way up and not backwards or upside down in a word.

These early childhood puzzles can be purchased in varying degrees of difficulty as the child's spatial and reasoning skills become more developed. The child also learns through puzzles the recognition of color and shape with, of course, adult conversation increasing the potential of the child's understanding and development. The green shape only fits in the green hole. This type of matching activity develops early reading skills.

At this stage it is good to introduce a new puzzle and do it with the child at first. Make this a happy social time and lots of fun. Do the puzzles with the child long enough to maintain the child's interest and attention, but be ready to move on to another activity. Eventually when the child's dexterity and confidence has increased, he will want to do it by himself. With praise and encouragement the child will practice until the skills become familiar. Then is the time to introduce puzzles with greater challenge.

Puzzles help develop the reasoning and deduction process of thinking. As well as skills such as spatial awareness, matching and sorting. Above all, jigsaw puzzles present a great opportunity for language development and a happy social interaction with your child.

Barbara White, of Beyond Better Development, has over twenty years experience as a parent, teacher and Principal. Barbara offers presentations and workshops to teachers and parents on personality and learning styles The jigsaw puzzles for young children can be purchased at http://www.thepuzzlemania.com

Has Discipline In Your Household Gone To The Dogs

Writen by Andrea Patten

What happens to our thinking when we look at ideas and behaviors in other contexts? It can certainly add new dimensions to our outlook.

For example, when we think about 'discipline' and 'dogs' most of us think in terms of obedience training. "Sit. Stay."

How often have thought about what the family dog can teach you?

Many parents seem to have grown uncomfortable with their role as family leaders, perhaps not fully appreciating its importance. Always a comfort, the family dog may be able to help you here, too.

Dogs have strong instincts about rules, order and etiquette as they relate to preserving the pack. So, for example, when a new puppy tries to take its place within a family, an older dog will make clear the rules and boundaries.

There are lots of rules. Puppies learn them all – quickly. "Here's where you can sleep. I greet the humans first. You get the second cookie and that's my squeaky toy – you can never, ever touch it." The consequences for messing up? The alpha voices his or her disapproval – with loud, dramatic barking and growling… and an occasional bite for the one who just doesn't 'get it.'

Alphas can have different styles but have much in common:

1) They don't nag – their 'word' (or look or growl) is law. Punishment for disobeying is swift and sure.

2) Alphas don't feel guilty! They know that the survival of the pack rests squarely on their ability to teach their pups proper behavior.

3) Alpha dogs do not need the pups' approval. They've got a job to do and they don't seem to care who likes or approves of them while they're getting it done.

4) Discipline takes a variety of forms – sometimes it's loud and dramatic, sometimes it's a 'time out' away from the rest of the pack…. sometimes it's just that raised eyebrow to remind the offending youngster of previous go-rounds.

5) They are fair. The intensity of the correction always matches the offense.

Families need strong, fair leadership. Kids need to know what the boundaries are and that there are consequences for violating them. And while I surely don't advocate turning family management over to our beloved pets, there's a lot they can teach us.

Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement now available on Amazon.com

To find out more about The Four Foundations of Adult Achievement please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

If you'd like to learn about other projects or explore the possibility of having Andrea speak to your group go to http://www.andreapatten.com

She can also be reached by e-mail andrea@whatkidsneedtosucceed.com

"You're not raising a child, you're raising a future adult!"

Simple Trick To Avoid Power Struggles With Your Child

Writen by Karen Alonge

Avoid power struggles by telling your child what YOU are going to do rather than demanding, ordering or yelling at them about what THEY should and shouldn't be doing.

Here's how to invite a power struggle:

Sam, pick up those blocks this instant!

Sam, with his blossoming need for autonomy, naturally bristles at being ordered around. He takes a defiant stand by saying NO. You decide to force compliance by using some form of intimidation. He calls your bluff, and next thing you know you've locked horns like rutting rams ... stuck together with no graceful exit for either of you. It's what happens when a parent tries to control his child's body and/or choices.

Thankfully, there is another way:

Sam, it's clean up time now. If there are any toys still left on the floor when this timer goes off in 5 minutes, I'll be picking them up myself and putting them away on a high shelf in the garage for awhile.

This statement leaves Sam with nothing to argue with, and there's no need for you to attempt intimidation tactics to force compliance. You're okay with whatever he chooses. In fact, if you're like me, you kinda hope he chooses to let you do it, because you wouldn't mind seeing a few less toys around the house!

You control your own body and choices. He controls his.

Power struggle averted.

Copyright 2006 Karen Alonge

Karen Alonge is an intuitive life coach and parenting consultant with 20 years of experience helping families with all types of challenges. She offers consultations by phone, email, and IM. Clients often notice dramatic changes in their daily experience after only one session. Please visit http://www.karenalonge.com for more information.

Three Surefire Ways To Teach Your Child About Safety

Writen by Michelle Annese

Levels of Safety

By teaching our children there are different levels of safety and those levels depend on the situation they are in and the decisions they make in those situations, we can better train them to use their instincts, intuition, and even fear as safety tools. This is an easy way to explain to our children how to trust these instincts.

"Every time we travel through a busy intersection, there are traffic lights there to tell us if it is safe to pass through. If the light is green, that tells us it is safe to pass, if the light is yellow that means we must use caution and to be careful and to prepare to stop. If the light turns red, that means danger and do not proceed or you may become hurt in an accident.

We can use these same lights, instead of traffic lights, as safety lights, to know when we are safe, to use caution, or to let us know we are in personal danger.

If our safety light is green….. This means we are safe and everything is normal.

If our safety light turns yellow…..This means that our intuition, instincts, or our gut feeling is telling us something is wrong!

If your safety light turns red…..This means we are in immediate danger and have to act fast.

We have to train ourselves to recognize different situations we are in and be aware when that situation makes our safety light change from green to yellow or to red.

When our safety light turns yellow this is the time to slow down listen to our little voice inside of us called intuition, think about the situation we are in, and what is the best course of action to take to keep us safe and return us to a green light. For example,

We are swimming and we notice that the water is really deep and we are becoming tired...we should return to the shallow water and take a break, which would return us to our green light. But if we continue to swim in the deep water, we may become tired and find our self in a dangerous, red light situation.

Our head is beginning to hurt and mom is a sleep… instead of waking and asking her for some medicine, we look in the medicine cabinet and find what appears to be the aspirin she normally gives us… and we take it. This is defiantly a red light situation, because you could be taking the wrong medicine and become very sick. But if you had just woke mom up and told her you had a headache, you would have stayed safely in the green light.

Someone knocks on the door of your house. Anytime this happens, as a child you need to understand that this is a yellow safety light and you need to proceed with caution. First you never open the door unless you and your parents personally know the person. Like a friend of the family or a neighbor. If you do not know the person, which means have you never seen your parents speak to this person, you never open the door. Even if they say they are a policeman, fireman, or repairman. The decision that you should make to put yourself in the green light, would be to go find your parents and let them open the door. If you open the door, you could be putting yourself in a red light dangerous situation. If your parents are not home you should never, never, open the door for anyone. This is always a safety red light.

A person at school that is known to be a bully is standing at the end of the play ground. Knowing this your safety light immediately turns yellow. If you avoid that end of the playground your light will return to green, if you go to that end of the playground you may find your self in a safety red light.

By being aware of our surroundings and making smart decisions when we are in our yellow caution light, we can get back to our green safe light and avoid the red danger light.

Remember, it is OK to be afraid when our safety light turns yellow. Fear is what helps our intuition and instincts work. We should always trust our instincts and listen to our little voice inside. Remember, our little voice is always right."

Parents, by arming our children with mental safety so they can make quick, safe decisions, it gives them the confidence and focus to handle any type of situation and safeguard them for the future.

Michelle Annese is a 3rd degree black belt specializing in self defense classes and seminars for women and children. For more information on how to protect your child from strangers, bullies, and build them up with kid power and confidence go to http://www.michelleannese.com and check out other safety articles and sign up for a free safety tips e-newsletter.

Vehicle Safety Following Simple Vehicle Safety Tips Can Reduce Auto Accidents And Injuries

Writen by Derrick Pizur

Child Car Seat Safety:

We know you love your children, but so many people do not follow these simple car seat safety principles. By following these easy steps you can ensure your child is completely safe in your car. Just to get one thing straight, there is no one best child car safety seat. The best car safety seat is determined by various factors that you as the parent need to take into consideration. The seat needs to fit your child's height and weight, as well as be able to fit properly in your car.

Another common misconception is price. More expensive, does not always mean better quality or the seat is better safety wise.

The first step of proper car seat safety is of course determined by the age of your child. Any child that is under the age of twelve should be kept in the back seat of a vehicle. This is especially true if your car has passenger side air bags.

Infants should be in a rear facing car seat until they are at least one year old and twenty pounds. After they are twenty pounds they can be placed in a front facing car safety seat until they are around forty pounds or they have reached the maximum height recommended for the specific car safety seat in question.

Once a child reaches forty pounds, they should be placed on a belt positioning booster seat. The vehicle's normal seat belt should not be used until they are around eighty pounds or 4ft 9 inches tall.

As always read your car's owners manual as well and any manuals with the car safety seat.

Additional Car Safety Tips:

Most accidents that occur over a parent/child incident occur when a parent is trying to turn around and discipline their child. Think about it, you are taking you eyes as well as you mind off of the primary task at hand (driving) and exclusively focusing on your child who should be, and usually is behind you in the back seat of the vehicle.

To prevent this the best thing to do if you must discipline your child is to find a place to pull over and do so then, when you are not moving.

Child Safety is our primary concern, check out these FREE child safety related resources at Child Safety Booster Seats

Character Education

Writen by Brent Sitton

Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits. One way to supplement your child's character education is to act as a filter for the movies and television shows your child watches, and to review the books your child reads.

The following categories are modeled after "The Book of Virtues for Young People," an excellent book for children in its own right, written by William Bennett. When developing a curriculum of character education for your child, it's helpful to review each children's book, television show, and movie for both positive and negative examples of each of the ten virtues outlined in "The Book of Virtues for Young People." The stronger the message, the more it will contribute to your child's character education.

Following are some ways in which the virtues can manifest as character traits in children's books, movies, and in television shows:

Self-Discipline: A character discusses his feelings of anger rather than impulsively striking out. Or, a character gets his chores done before he goes out to play.

Compassion: A character understands the pain or suffering of a friend, and steps in to help, even when it means she can't attend the party she was looking forward to.

Responsibility: A character admits it was his baseball that broke the window, and offers to pay for a replacement. Or, a character keeps her promise to babysit her younger sister, even though she'd rather go to the movies with her friends.

Friendship: A character stands up for her friend in front of her peers, even though it's not popular. Or, a character befriends the class bully in an effort to get him to change his ways.

Work: A character approaches her job with a positive attitude, and does her very best even when her boss is being unfair. Or, a character makes up a game to get through an unpleasant task, and takes pride in her work even though it goes unnoticed.

Courage: A character is afraid of the raging waters, but takes the risk and dives in to save her family. Or, a character stands up for what he believes in, even though it's unpopular.

Perseverance: A character continues to strive to make the basketball team, even though he's a foot shorter than the other players. Or, a family works together to keep their home, even though the father has lost his job and the mother is ill.

Honesty: A character admits to himself that he isn't trying his hardest. Or, a character talks to an adult about a friend in trouble, even though the friend will get angry at her.

Loyalty: A character sticks with his losing soccer team in the hope of helping them become better, rather than joining a winning soccer team. Or, a character stays at her friend's side during a serious illness or hardship.

Faith: A character reaches out to God to help him in his time of need.

When evaluating character traits and virtues in kids' books, movies, and television shows, also look at negative behavioral influences. Ideally, these influences will be minimal. Consider, for example:

Violence: Does the character hurt himself, another person, or an animal through his words or actions, and does he act without remorse?

Profanity: Does the character use foul language, sexual language, or take God's name in vain?

Nudity: Does the movie, television show, or book show or describe suggestive styles of dress or partially clothed or nude characters?

Sexual Content: Do the characters engage in implied or overt sexual behavior, or do they engage in aberrant sexual behavior?

Drugs, Alcohol, and Tobacco: Do the characters use or abuse legal or illegal substances?

Scary Elements: Are the scenarios depicted gratuitously frightening?

Negative Behaviors: Does the character show disrespect to his parents? Or, does he neglect his homework? Or, does he frighten other children?

By evaluating both the positive character traits and negative behaviors of movies, television shows, and books, and selecting those that reinforce the values and virtues that are important to you, you'll go far in developing your child's character education.

Brent Sitton is the founder of DiscoveryJourney.com. DiscoveryJourney has a variety of tools available to parents to help promote a culture of reading in your household. Discovery Journey has compiled Children's Book Reviews of books that not only engage children, but also delight parents. Our children's book reviews identify character trait and child behavior issues in the book to discuss as a family. Each children's book review contains related fun and educational kid activity to enjoy as a family, inspiring the passion for learning and reading!

Parents Complaints Arrogant Public Schools Turn A Deaf Ear

Writen by Joel Turtel

School authorities continually claim that they want more parent cooperation and participation in their children's education. They complain when parents don't show up for parent-teacher conferences or push their children to do their homework.

Yet this constant cry for parent cooperation is often a smoke screen pretense to make parents think they have some control over their children's education. In most cases, parents have no such control. Teachers and principals may placate parents or ask for their cooperation, but they rarely make the important changes parents ask for.

For example, most parents want their children to learn to do basic arithmetic without using calculators as a crutch. A poll by Public Agenda found that 86 percent of parents want students to learn arithmetic by hand before they use calculators. However, the math-teaching policy for most public schools today is that all children beginning in kindergarten have access to calculators at all times to do math problems.

Most school districts make important teaching-method or curriculum decisions in secret, without parents' knowledge or approval. A parent's only recourse is to complain to principals or school authorities after these authorities have dictated their curriculum or teaching methods, and the parent sees the damage to their children. Unfortunately, such complaints are often futile.

Most parents don't realize that school authorities don't want their opinion. Too often, school authorities ignore parents' suggestions or complaints because they truly believe they are the experts and parents are just annoying amateurs. As a result, some teachers, principals, or administrators feel insulted when parents make suggestions or complaints. Many school officials believe parents should not have any real input in their children's education. That is one reason why school authorities hold their committee meetings in secret.

Another reason is that school authorities fear that parents will complain about certain classes and curriculum subjects. For instance, many public schools have introduced classes and books about homosexuality into elementary and high-school sex-education classes. When parents find out about these classes, they frequently complain to the school principal and local politicians. To avoid these complaints, public schools often try to keep secret from parents what they teach in these sex-ed classes.

Moreover, teachers, principals, and school authorities don't have to listen to those amateur, irritating parents who complain that their kids can't read. Public-school employees get tenure after a few years. That means, in effect, that it's almost impossible to fire them, no matter how bad or even mediocre they are. If you couldn't be fired, would you care about parent's complaints? That's why they don't, and that's why public-school teachers or principals can be arrogant or indifferent to parent's legitimate complaints.

Parents, the solution is to stop hitting your head against the brick wall of arrogant public-school employees. Just walk around the wall and don't look back. That is, consider taking your children out of public school and find real education choice and control in the education free-market. Consider homeschooling or some of the many quality, low-cost, K-12 Internet private schools listed in the Resource section of "Public Schools, Public Menace."

Joel Turtel is an education policy analyst, and author of "Public Schools, Public Menace: How Public Schools Lie To Parents and Betray Our Children."

Contact Information:
Website: http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com,
Email: lbooksusa@aol.com,
Phone: 718-447-7348.

Article Copyrighted © 2005 by Joel Turtel.
NOTE: You may post this Article on an Ezine, newsletter, or other website only if you include Joel Turtel's complete contact information, and set up a hyperlink to Joel Turtel's email address and website URL, http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com

Helping Your Child With Sensory Needs Back To School

Writen by Christopher Auer

The lazy days of summer are slowly winding down as the new school year approaches. You may find yourself in need of some transitional activities or ideas to help your child with sensory processing disorder. Here are some suggestions:

1. Ask your child about what tangible type objects give her comfort. Or ask about what types of things he likes doing to feel more comfortable? Phrase questions as concretely as possible and also to your child's understanding. The object might be something like a soft, squeezable stuffed animal or a hand fidgit she can quietly manipulate when she feels over sensitized. It may be a chewable something like a straw, gum or rubbery object. Whatever "it" is listen to what your child is telling you he needs in order to feel more secure. You may find that you already have that something within your possession. If not, don't fret. You can be creative with your child in designing the "comfort item" at home with materials you already possess or going to your local discount retailer to obtain it at little extra cost.
2. Often choosing a few summer closing activities your child enjoys doing is a good way of transitioning to a new situation. Be creative with your child in choosing these and make it more fun by having the rule be that the activity has to be at little or no expense. Some of my favorites are: packing a picnic and taking a walk to a nearby park to have it. I have each child pick and help make at least one of their favorite foods from some "sensible" choices offered (this way I am more assured of them eating more healthfully). We also like going to a nearby horse stable that offers pony rides for $5 for as long as the kids can ride. This gives the children much needed work on balance and coordination as well as interaction with animals. Be creative and work together to come up with ideas!

For more ideas of transitional activities, I suggest talking together as a family to find out what everyone likes and dislikes. Try to come up with ideas that provide the most sensory need for the buck.

Christopher R. Auer, MA is the author of Parenting a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder: A Family Guide to Understanding and Supporting Your Sensory Sensitive Child (New Harbinger, 2006) Additional information at http://www.spdresources.com or email spdresources@comcast.net

5 Quick Parenting Tips To Help You Raise A Smarter Baby

Writen by Jennifer L. Wilson

Parents across the nation have discovered that by implementing a few fun and simple activities into their baby's daily routine have resulted in dramatically enhanced reading, writing, walking, and talking capabilities. The secret they say is to start early.

Parenting a baby these days is much more than feeding, changing and bathing. There are a few extra steps involved if you want your baby to get started on the right foot. Baby's little brains are like sponges, they are ready to soak up living and life skills from the moment they are born. It's the parent's job to give them all the wonderful stimulants they possibly can in order to give them a solid intellectual foundation to build upon as they grow.

For instance, playing music for your baby is a wonderful way to stimulate his mind. Many parenting magazines recommend playing lullabies for your baby at night, but what about the rest of the day? Babies enjoy music just as much as parents do. In fact, many parents find that the type of music they play directly affects their baby's mood.

Reading to your baby is a key factor in developing his speech and language capabilities. It is vital that you get in the habit of reading to your baby as often as possible. You should read interesting books with big bright pictures and a few long sentences so that he can begin developing speech patterns and vocabulary enunciation. Some parents even found that their baby enjoyed it when they read regular grown up type books as well. Babies enjoy the rhythmic sounds of their parent's voices as they read, even if there are no brightly colored pictures to look at.

Another very important point I must make about language and speech development is to speak to your baby in complete sentences. Try to speak to your baby as you would any other member of your family. Most parents don't think their baby will understand when they say, "It's almost dinner time, are you hungry?" But the fact of the matter is that babies are quite capable of understanding words as you speak to them, especially if you repeatedly say them as part of your daily routine.

Another extremely beneficial element to help your baby build a solid foundation is to teach him a few words to express himself using baby sign language. Yes, I know, your baby isn't deaf, but studies have shown that babies do indeed have the ability to use language to express their needs as early as 7 months old, they just don't have the motor skills to put their thoughts into words. Parents who teach their baby sign language enjoy communicating with their baby much earlier than waiting for them to learn to speak.

Just imagine, your baby will be able to tell you when he's hungry, tired or wants more food rather than you trying to guess what he needs. There are so many wonderful benefits to teaching your baby sign language; I can't possibly explain them all here. I have written an in-depth article about baby sign language here if you want to learn more about this extraordinary new communication technique.

My final parenting suggestion is to make sure he has age appropriate toys to play with in order to build and develop his fine motor skills. Make sure he has a wide variety of activities to keep his mind and his little hands busy. Babies love to explore all kinds of textures, colors, sizes and shapes. Be sure to give him small items, (not too small however) large items, soft and hard toys, noisy and quiet activities too. Here is a helpful parenting hint: sometimes the toys that are the most fun really aren't supposed to be toys at all.

Jennifer L. Wilson is a Childcare Specialist and author of the Bright Beginnings Baby Care Guide where she teaches parents how to give their baby a Smart Start from day one. She also provides parenting tips, baby care articles, news and resources at her website: BabyCareConnection.com.

Childrens Mistakes

Writen by Diane Overgard

Peter was a fisherman, originally named Simon, whom Jesus chose to be one of his followers. An impulsive personality, Peter was prone to making mistakes. Several of Peter's blunders are recorded in the Bible books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. He speaks without thinking, acts impulsively, and breaks promises. He sounds like any one of us! However, as we continue to read about his life, we see that Peter obviously learned from his mistakes. He goes on to become a recognized leader among Jesus' disciples. Jesus wasn't looking for a perfect person when he selected Peter, and he isn't looking for perfection in us or in our children. Jesus expects us to make mistakes, plenty of them, and then use those mistakes to learn what we need to lead our lives for him.

What is a parent to do about children's mistakes? It's a parent's role to take on an attitude that says, "Mistakes are opportunities to learn." We are to stop and understand why our children's mistakes have occurred, and then move forward.

It's not easy for parents to allow children to make mistakes. When our kids make mistakes, we feel inadequate. When we aren't able to control our child's behavior, we panic. If there is another adult within earshot, we are concerned about what they think about us as parents.

Some mistakes are easier than others to accept. When a toddler trips and falls down on the living room floor, that's OK; he's just learning to walk. Of course a first grader will mispronounce a word now and then; he's only learning to read. But how about a two year old throwing a temper tantrum? Am I able to say that she's learning to express her feelings? What about a teenager missing curfew? Am I able to say that she's in the process of learning responsibility?

Mistakes help kids learn skills they need for life: problem solving, negotiation, and resourcefulness. Let kids make mistakes! They will grow through opportunities to face a challenge, attempt a solution, sometimes feel failure, but eventually experience the satisfaction of a problem solved.

Diane Overgard, CFLE, has been involved in parent education and staff training, guiding parents and their children in active learning environments. As a Certified Family Life Educator, Diane's skill in combining child development theory with practical applications gives the why as well as the how of strengthening relationships. Find out how to book Family Impact for your church or home small groups by visiting http://www.familyimpact.net

My Sweet Little Valentine

Writen by Mehnaz Ansari

Valentine day has always been a special day in my life since Naseer, my husband proposed me to marry him a few years back. Since then, we never missed the chance of cherishing and celebrating every Valentine's Day. But this year we were neither together nor celebrating, yet it was very beautiful. I had the sweetest valentine with me this time and he was snuggled comfortably in to my arms. I am on my journey back home from the air show and am enjoying every moment of my valentine's day.

I have always loved taking challenges and am an ardent believer that a good homemaker can be a successful career woman as well. Therefore, this time while representing my company in the air show, I decided to take the plunge of proving myself to be an ideal mother and a good air show manager. I traveled alone with my four-month-old baby from Delhi- Bangalore and back. Mind you, it is quite an experience balancing home world with the corporate world. My onward journey on 4th Feb was still better because I had an escort provided by the airline to help me with my baby, baby bags and laptop. I managed through the two & half hour flight.

Air show went off well and today I am going back. It happens to be the Valentine's Day. But boarding the flight was more eventful than all my stay put together. My in laws arrived in the morning come to see off their grandson. I had been doing the balancing act since morning to pacify their traditional norms in between my corporate meetings. My son was holding on to me since he is too young to recognize his grandparents and hotel had messed up with the bills. I finally packed up and left the hotel. I had very little time to catch the flight and the driver was trying his best to beat the heavy traffic of Bangalore and reach the airport on time. I just managed to get boarding pass ten minutes before the flight was to take off. I literally begged the airline this time to provide me assistance with my laptop and baby bags. I ran to board my flight and I finally made it with my son-Hashir hanging on to me in his Snugly. Everyone in the flight had an amused look in his or her eyes seeing the apathy of a young mother.

But now, all the chaos is over and I am settled in the flight. As my baby sleeps in my arms, after days of hectic work schedule, I feel relaxed, contended and happy. My hard work has paid me back. I have got my best valentine gift today- my sweet little son. I could not ask for anything better from life.

Knowing The Ropes Can Be A Lifeline

Writen by Mary Fagan

We are always calmed and assured when we find someone who has been through something before us. This includes parenting, which can mean weathering some rough storms. In the beginning, we set out in the calm and placid waters of diaper changes, runny noses, and dribbles that we somehow learn to ignore in one of parenting's first miracles. Other people may cringe and reach for the hand sanitizer, but our baby's bodily fluids are like mother's milk to us. Their crying and whining doesn't rock us, and when asked about our infants and babies, they walk on water. These are the tender years.

The joys of the first smile, the first words, and the tentative first steps are all treasured and stored safely in our mental photo albums. Even the "terrible twos" leave us with a proud smile at how creative and ingenious our little ones can be when there is something they want. It's a good thing these tender memories are stored away because soon we will cling to them for dear life.

I mean the turbulent years when a mutiny takes place. A few months after the hormones begin flowing, your once mild-mannered son or daughter will take on some salty characteristics. You overhear words coming from their mouths that would make a sailor blush. They get tattoos and piece body parts that would be considered torture if you had suggested it. One minute they are sweet and mild, and the next – bam – pure sass. It's as if someone kidnapped your child and warped and twisted their personality like knotty driftwood. But hang on!

Fortunately, there are other parents to lean on that have found their sea legs. Anchored to past parenting experiences, they gently break the news that you are not the only parent ever told they were stupid, hated, mean, old fashioned, a dork or the only one to say "no." The first time these things happen, they hit hard, but revived with the realization that you are not the only parent listing to the stern, you can survive a roiling adolescence as it rolls in, and over you, again and again and again.

You may have to return to the experienced parent once in a while for reinforcement. But trust me, we treasure the times we can throw a lifesaver to a wretched fellow parent filled with self-doubt, saving them from second guessing and that sinking feeling that they are losing it.

Whether it's their first experience with PMS, backtalk, swearing, or disagreements over clothing, I will not let any recently christened parent walk the plank alone. To prevent them from going overboard, I have developed a set of special greeting cards, individual lifesavers I can toss in their direction when they need a little sweet something to pull them through.

I keep these special inspirational cards for parents experiencing a "first time" in my desk – my own little guidance office - ready for a rescue. Each has a line of wisdom and a line of advice to navigate a parent through the turbulent times. So far, these messages have saved seven parents from chocolate overdose and ten from self-induced baldness.

Even so, I realize my parenting support materials may not be as sophisticated as Dr. Phil's, but in a storm, any port will do.

Mary Fagan has a M.S. in Education and has successfully guided two daughters through the teens. She is currently in the white water with her teenaged son and happily provides her knowledge of the ropes online at http://www.motherwise.us.

How To Deal With Supermom Stress

Writen by Kathleen Wilson

One of the top stressors for women today is what many are calling the "supermom syndrome". Many of us are led by society today to believe that in order to be successful Moms, we have to do it all, and give all. Nonsense. We all want to do our best as Moms, as we should. But at some point, for our own mental health, our best has got to be good enough. Here are some great ideas to reduce the syndrome at your house.

It's ok not to be perfect. Let me say that again. It's ok, not to be perfect. I think many of us hold ourselves up to a level of perfection that merely hurts our ability to be a good Mom. So what if the living room isn't clean on Monday nights?…you had bedtime stories to read. Who cares if you had to choose a work presentation over your childs field trip…you'll go next time. Not allowing ourselves any slack simply causes more stress in our lives, and prevents us from savoring every precious moment of being a Mom. Lighten up. It's ok not to be perfect!

Don't buy into societies hype that in order to be a good parent, you must offer your child every experience under the stars. Over and over again, psychologists talk about the dangers of over scheduling our kids, but it seems few are listening. It is not healthy for your child to learn to be so busy that he/she never learns to be with and like himself, to dream, use his imagination, or just be bored! Limiting your family to one extracurricular activity per child will help reduce family stress both in time and money. Do not let society guilt you into doing more…after all, this is the same society rules that say its ok for our children to starve themselves to look like movie stars, or to play Nintendo for 12 hours straight. Is that what you want for your kids?

Make time for yourself. Make a rule that you will take 10, 20, even 30 minutes a day and shut out the world. Close the bedroom door, take a bath, take a walk…just have that time to yourself. You deserve it, and your family owes you that much. Do not feel guilty asking for it either! Tell the kids Mom is not to be disturbed unless someone is bleeding or something is on fire…then enforce the rule! Oprah says it well…if your cup is empty, how will you fill up the ones you love?

That being said, it is important to recognize your family as an essential part of your life. Stopping to smell the roses when it comes to your family will help you to keep your life in perspective, and therefore, reduce your daily stress. Make sure you take time for yourself, but also take time to spend with your family outside of the daily chores and running around. Let your children help you cook dinner, play cards together in the evening, take a walk around your neighborhood with your kids. Make sure you read to those little ones every night, and make sure you do those great voices with the characters! Laugh with your family, choose your battles wisely, and savor every moment of their precious childhood…before you know it, they will be tending their own families! (And won't you feel good knowing what an example you were, cherishing your family as you do!)

Finally, make sure you remember who you are as a person. Not as Mom, or wife, or business associate, but as who you are. Cultivate old pastimes, and expand your world by developing new ones! Learn to play piano, paint, or to speak a different language. Read. Celebrate your spiritual life, and let yourself grow in the world that has been gifted to you.

It is time Moms stood up and made a stand…we don't have to do it all to be good Moms. We already are good Moms, because we do our best. And that's good enough.

Kathleen Wilson is a columnist, author, and editor of The Stress Less Journal. For free stress reducing inspiration and to sign up for her free online newsletter, visit her at http://www.StressLessJournal.com. Also visit her other website, http://www.women-on-the-net.com and http://www.thebudgetdecorator.com.

The Ten Most Critical Things For Raising A Healthy Empowered Child A Mustread For Every Parent

Writen by Shelly Walker

It may sound simple, but it's not easy. If you can succeed at the following ten items, your children will know that they are loved, capable people with passion and purpose in the world.

As parents, we all have strengths and weaknesses. Use this list as a guide to find the things that your family needs to work on and (this is the tricky part) do it! It's so easy to just go along with the flow and let your children be raised by the example you set for them and daily, reactionary, chaos-control parenting. But taking a few minutes to really check in with what's important is critical to your child's health and well-being.

I have taken fifteen years of research and experience with children and boiled it all down to the following list of ten things to focus on as a parent. Some of them are self-explanatory. Some of them are easier to accomplish than others. They are all critical to your child's inner peace and outer success.

Please note, that in order to simplify things, I use each gender alternately. This list is intended for every child, both male and female.

Print this up, put it on your fridge, highlight the ones you want to start working on and begin to create the family of your dreams today.

1. Find his talents and explore them. I make this number one because of the huge impact on a child's self-esteem when he finds out what he's good at. Give him the opportunity to succeed with passion and purpose.

2. Music and art feed the mind and the soul. Every person is good at some creative endeavor. Take classes together. Get outside your box so she can explore art. Not only does it feed an inner need, but it's a constant boredom buster! (No musician or artist is ever bored because she has her passion at her fingertips and within her mind at all times.) An artist or musician sees the world with added dimensions. Don't deprive your child of this opportunity!

3. Applaud effort, not necessarily outcome. No matter if he's a good student, a bad student or a great student. Give him the support he needs and praise his work. Did he lose the game? Find something positive to say and avoid the negative critiquing. Don't feed his inner doubt: empower him to feel good about himself.

4. Teach manners. Please, thank you, how to ask, how to be polite and eat a nice meal. I see so many children who don't even begin to know how to behave and it's because they aren't taught. It's up to you to teach her how. It's not just about behavior control. It's about respect.

5. Create and maintain open lines of communication. Studies have shown that the toddler who feels heard will become the teenager who will talk. Spend at least 10 minutes every day one-on-one with your child. Never shut down any topic of conversation. Be available and non-judgmental, but give positive, age-appropriate feedback. Remember to listen.

6. Get out in the world and exercise & explore together. Teach her to love Nature and how to take care of her body with exercise and healthy food. Don't just sit at home and watch the world pass on television. Get out there and explore!

7. Allow his spiritual nature to unfold. This is different from religious training. This is allowing God to express through your child's unique perspective. Children have an inborn wisdom about spiritual nature. Listen to him. Ask him questions. Allow him to explore the truths that God placed in his heart. Then teach him your values.

8. Empower her to trust her inner voice. This one can be especially difficult for those of us who were never taught this skill. Work on trusting yourself while teaching her to trust that still, small voice. This can be as simple as listening when she says, "I think we should go left and see if there's a parking space over there" or as complicated as talking about how to trust new people. She must learn to stop, check in with her heart, check in with her body, use her mind to think about the signals she's receiving and then move forward.

9. Feed her body, mind, and Spirit. Healthy foods, challenges for the mind, spiritual awakenings…happy children. Add in some love and fun and you've got the recipe for success!

10. Unconditional love means love without bounds: love the child you have, not the child you want him to be. Take a realistic look at your relationship and the conditions you put on your love. You may be shocked to see the places where you withhold love as a punishment or perhaps simply out of unskilled behavior on your part. Love is not something to be given and taken away. Let your child know that she is loved in every situation – no matter what!

Straight talk from the mom who's been where you are and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. Her website, http://www.parentingkeys.com, has great information and free tools to help parents raise successful, empowered children.

A Dangerous Environment

Writen by Richard Lowe, Jr.

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't even begin to believe that your child is safe. There are more dangers than you can possibly imagine waiting to lure children to their doom. You had better be aware of what's happening and take steps to shield them from the danger ... if you don't, your child's sanity and safety are at serious risk.

Does this sound alarmist? Actually, I cannot stress this fact enough ... you have to be just as careful with your five year old on the internet as you would in the worst red-light district back alley in the darkest part of town. If you would not allow your twelve year old wander around a drug den or visit the sex shops in San Francisco, then why on Earth are you letting him or her loose on the internet without supervision?

Let's look at some of the dangers that exist on the internet. The most obvious issue is pornography. There are dirty pictures, video, sounds, movies and anything else you can imagine available everywhere on the web. In fact, it's often difficult to surf without running into a pornographic site occasionally. Just type "whitehouse.com", expecting to get a page about the white house and you'll see that you get a pornographic site.

Oh, and it's not just your run of the mill pornography, no, there is much worse stuff available to anyone who cares to look. Your child can find pictures which will curl your toes at the sheer perversity of the images. While intelligent people can debate whether or not any of this material should be available, even to adults, at all, no one with any conscience and trace of goodness can say it is okay for children to have access to this stuff.

Not only is pornography a danger, but the cyber world is full of other horrible things (just like the real world). Without much work, your child can easily surf to sites which espouse hatred, nazi values, and page after page of extremely graphic, real violence. I even know of some parents who were horrified to find that what they thought were harmless Anime (a style of Japanese cartons) sites that turned out to be hard core, extremely graphic animated sex galleries.

Of course, I'm sure you've all heard of the dangers of unsupervised chat rooms. I have heard that older men hang out in them, waiting for trusting, innocent children. They start up conversations, and before long your child might attempt to travel to meet a nice man - and never come back.

You've got other, more subtle, dangers as well. Your child might surf the internet and find some cool site which asks for personal information. Not knowing any better, he or she might enter your social security number, address, phone number or even your credit card numbers. This could actually put not just your child but your entire family in danger.

I could go on and on about the dangers, but what do you do about it? Is there anything that you can possibly do, short of unplugging the stupid computer, to protect your children?

The first, and most important, thing that you should do is talk to your children. Believe it or not, children are intelligent beings, and they will understand if you use words and concepts that they can comprehend. Explain the dangers, being patient and caring and understanding. It may take a few tries, but they are capable of learning, understanding and obeying. Just be sure you do not portray the dangers as something in any way desirable, and don't forbid them to explore, just explain what's going on.

The second, and equally important, thing to remember is that even if your children do understand and comprehend what you tell them - you should still protect them. Do not let them surf the internet unsupervised if you can help it. Watch them on the web and be sure you know where they are going.

Every once in a while, check over the computer that your child has been using to see what they've been doing. Look at the cookies, the browser history and at images and such stored on the hard drive. I know it sounds like spying, but it's important to know what they are up to before they get into trouble. And oh yes, if you find something, just wait for an opportunity to "discover" what they are doing without giving away that you are looking over their shoulder. Then use this as a means of getting into a discussion with them. You should also take maximum advantage of any and all parental controls that are available to you. Use a product such as NetNanny or Cyber Babysitter to control your child's surfing habits. Set the parental controls of your browser and the major search engines (most of them have a way to filter out adult content).

Does this sound extreme? Any psychiatrist will tell you it is. They will tell you should allow your children to explore at will, along with lots of other, similar garbage. But would you trust your children to the people who funded Adolf Hitler, who give drugs to your children in school and who claim that hardened criminals are really just misunderstood and unloved. (That's a subject for a future article perhaps - how we can improve our civilization and bring peace to the world by lining all of the psychiatrist's up on the nearest wall).

Anyway, digressions aside, the responsible thing to do is to ensure that your children are safe, just like you would if they were wandering around in the mall or in the red light district of a big city. If you don't, you may find yourself taking up a new hobby - looking at milk cartons.

About The Author

Richard Lowe Jr. is the webmaster of Internet Tips And Secrets. This website includes over 1,000 free articles to improve your internet profits, enjoyment and knowledge.

Web Site Address: http://www.internet-tips.net

Weekly newsletter: http://www.internet-tips.net/joinlist.htm

Claudia Arevalo-Lowe is the webmistress of Internet Tips And Secrets and Surviving Asthma. Visit her site at http://survivingasthma.com

Drugs And Violence In Public Schools

Writen by Joel Turtel

Many public schools not only fail to educate our children, they can also be dangerous places. These schools are a natural breeding ground for drugs and violence. Children are packed into classrooms with twenty or more other immature children or teenagers, all the same age. Here, peer pressure becomes socialization, pushing many children into using drugs and alcohol.

Put twenty teenagers in the same room, or hundreds of teenagers in the same school, and you have a breeding ground for violence. Young boys and girls have raging hormones and budding sexuality, and male teenage testosterone levels are high. Teenagers are in the half-child, half-adult stage of life and often lack judgment and are emotionally immature.

Pack these teenagers together into cramped little classrooms, six to eight hours a day, and you have a mixture that can lead to trouble. It's inevitable that violence will break out—it's built into the system.

Also, even the most conscientious teacher is usually too busy and overworked to give children the individual attention they need. Critics of home-schooling often say that home-schoolers don't get proper socialization. However, so-called socialization in public schools is often cruel and violent. Bullying, peer pressure, racial cliques, sexual tensions, and competition for the teacher's approval all create a stressful, sometimes violent environment.

Compulsory-attendance laws also contribute to violence in the schools. In most states, these laws force children to stay in school until they are sixteen years old or graduate high school. Teenagers who hate school, or are aggressive or potentially violent sociopaths, can't leave. As a result, they often take out their hatred and aggression on other students. Those children want to learn are forced to endure bullying and violence by these troubled teens.

Also, the law is on the side of violent or disruptive students who are classified as "disabled." In 1975, Congress passed the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Based on this legislation, in 1988 the Supreme Court ruled that schools could not remove disruptive disabled children from classrooms without a parent's consent. If parents don't consent, teachers are out of luck. Those 'disabled' children who are socially impaired, can't get along with other kids, or sometimes turn violent, therefore fall under this category. Of course, this adds yet another layer of potentially violent children who teachers can't remove from class.

Violence in public schools can literally kill your child. In the 2000-2001 school year, students were victims of about 1.9 million nonfatal violent crimes such as rape, assault, and robbery. This figure equals about 9,000 violent incidents every school day throughout America, or about one every three seconds.

Public schools are also a drug pusher's heaven. Thousands of teenagers, pushed by intense peer-pressure, smoke, drink beer, and try marijuana or hard drugs. Schools put hundreds of children together in one big building or courtyard. Mix in overworked or indifferent teachers who have little time or desire to supervise extracurricular activities. That's why drug pushers circle schoolyards like vultures. Where else can they find groups of vulnerable victims all herded together for their convenience? Is it any wonder that drug and alcohol use is a major problem in public schools?

In the 2001-2002 school year, 34.9 percent of tenth-grade students surveyed said they had smoked cigarettes within the past year. Fifty-one and two tenths percent said they had drunk beer, and 33.4 percent said they got bombed on that beer. Also, 29.8 percent of the same tenth-grade students said they had smoked marijuana within the past year, and 78.7 percent of these marijuana users said they got "bombed or very high" on it.

When children are home-schooled, parents can advise and watch over their kids. At home, there is no peer pressure to try drugs, as there is in public schools. Drug pushers don't hover around private residences.

Parents should therefore ask themselves: Do my children belong in violent, drug-infested public schools? Are there other education options for my children? In "Public Schools, Public Menace," I discuss many quality, low-cost education options parents can use right now if they decide to take their children out of public school.

Joel Turtel is an education policy analyst, and author of "Public Schools, Public Menace: How Public Schools Lie To Parents and Betray Our Children." Contact Information: Website: http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com, Email: lbooksusa@aol.com, Phone: 718-447-7348. Article Copyrighted © 2005 by Joel Turtel. NOTE: You may post this Article on another website only if you set up a hyperlink to Joel Turtel's email address and website URL, http://www.mykidsdeservebetter.com.

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once

Writen by Judy H. Wright

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her bottom and she doesn't like to sit on his lap anymore! Should you believe your child? Yes.

Your initial reaction is to confront Uncle Charley, who tells you that your child is making it up and even if it did happen, he will never do it again.

He promises he will never ever touch another child inappropriately and you want to believe him. Should you believe him? Probably not.

Perhaps abuse will occur just once with a certain child, but most pedophiles will just cast their eye for a more amiable victim. It is usually not the first time the molester has done this. Nor will it be the last time, even if the child convinces the molester to leave him or her alone. Offenders who have been caught tell researchers that nobody does it just once.

This is a compulsive act which stems from compulsive thought patterns. Pedophiles have repetitive sexual fantasies involving children usually in one age group or gender. Some may be able to contain those fantasies and thought patterns and not act upon them. and they do not become offenders. The perpetrator feels compelled to abuse on a regular basis, especially when things are not going well in their life, or they are under stress. Most offenders abuse more than one hundred times before they are caught. Many will re-offend after serving their time in custody.

Sex abusers will continue the same sick patterns until they are physically stopped or the fear of intervention on the part of the molester becomes very evident. They may be abusing or grooming more than one child at the same time. For instance, if a teacher is caught and arrested for molesting a student in his/her classroom, the chances are high that they have tried to molest others in the class and other classes they have taught.

It is the same for those who commit incest: very rarely is it just one victim. The molestations sometimes continue for months or years starting first with a good touch such as backrubs or tickling. But then it escalates into a touch that is inappropriate. The relationship is usually broken off only when it is discovered accidentally or when a child tells an adult who believes them.

Unfortunately, parents or other adults often think the child is lying, particularly if the abuser is someone familiar to the family or a member of the family. It is a rare exception for a child to make up stories about having been sexually abused. Due to lack of understanding, many parents may blame and shame the victim, especially if the abuse has gone on for some time.

It is not the child's fault! As a caring adult and the protector or your child and others who might have been affected and most certainly will, if the offender is not stopped, you must tell the proper authorities. It is important to your child that they see that you will believe them and act on their word. It is also important to the community that the sexual abuse, no matter how seemingly innocent the offender may try to make it out, is documented. Pick up the phone now and call the police; they will give you and your child guidance and support.

© Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, www.artichokePress.com

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

Mum And Dad Look At Me

Writen by Rita Offen

Kids have amazing confidence. Drive or walk through a town and you'll pass kids and notice that bright, bouncy, happy look. Some kids don't walk, they hop and skip all the way. They have bountiful energy.

Such confidence often means they believe they can do anything, and won't give up until they do or get what they want. If we adults had their confidence and beliefs, what amazing things could we achieve - we could accomplish our dreams!

At my martial arts lesson today, a young new boy volunteered, stepped up and performed his Karma form (a series of moves using the Karma weapons - they're like little axes, only made of wood and rubber!) in front of the whole class. Afterwards, as always, our Instructor lead the class in applause for his confidence in doing this. The little boy was so pleased with himself, for 'stepping up' isn't an easy thing to do, especially when you're new. His face beamed, and he turned to look at his mum across the room, searching for recognition, but she gave him no response. Her eyes did not meet his, and with a frown she was looking at a small sticker that had come off one of his Karmas and got stuck in his hair! I watched his bright, proud look drain from his face - the disappointment could not have been more obvious. Clearly, his mother's acknowledgement was of more importance to him than the praise of applause in the room. I know his mum didn't intentionally miss his glance. Had she seen his expectant look, she would, in the true spirit of a proud mum, have praised him and returned the smile. But a boy with a sparkly silver sticker in his hair was more an issue of real concern to her.

We can so often allow other things to cloud our view of our kids' strengths and achievements. In this case, I know, no-one else in the room was bothered about the sticker!

Rita Offen is a Parent and Author of 'The Chilled Parent' - Effective Parenting, Peacefully and Powerfully, in which she shares her experiences and lessons in parenting, with a unique perspective on what's REALLY important in family life. www.chilledparent.com

Why Do People Have Kids

Writen by Lance Winslow

Despite the theory that people have kids because they want and have planned for a family; the truth is that most people have kids because a woman gets pregnant. That is about the only reason. Did you know that 75% of all children in the United States are born out of wedlock and that the number is increasing each and every year? And folks these numbers are just in the United States, the world average is much higher. Only 50% of the kids in this country live in a household with two parents.

So if people are having kids because they get pregnant and not because they are planning on having kids then that means most all humans born in the United States are unwanted by the parents. Do you think this is why pregnant moms still drink lots of caffeine and go to Starbucks every day? Do you know what this does to the unborn fetus? If kids grow up without two parents to watch them no wonder we have such a high rate of juvenile delinquency in our country. No wonder I have to pay more taxes for police. No wonder there is more crime and drugs, rapes and murders, hit and runs and police chases, robbery and assaults? Dah, no wonder?

If people do not care about their children before they are born, what makes you think they really care about them or are willing to give them the proper nurturing as they grow up? Some people believe that you should have a license before you have a child, that you understand pre-natal care, have a jobs or some income to support your future offspring and a stable situation ready to go when the child arrives. Others believe that it is not any one else's business and humans should have the right to procreate. We make people get driver's licenses to operate an automobile; a hunk of metal, which you can replace, but not to have a child, which is irreplaceable. How many times have you seen a parent beat their kid in a parking lot or store? How many times have you seen a kids throw a complete temper tantrum in a place of business and the single parent buy something to pacify them? Why is it that people have kids again? Because they get pregnant; what about the burden to society and taxpayer for the irresponsibility of that child?

Recently I met a man who had an executive job at a school district. We got on the subject of schools and drugs and he said both his kids had been involved in drugs and had problems and that there was nothing he could do; it was the peer pressure you see? It was not his fault he explained? Oh, really so whose fault it is then, because it certainly is not my fault the taxpayer. Yet I am paying the cost of more police, state sponsored rehabs, court costs and might even become the victim of one of his kids or some other kid who is fiending on drugs who decides to steal the CD player out of my car or put it up on blocks to steal my rims so they can get their fix?

Every time some one has a kid that is an incredible responsibility, it is the responsibility of the parents not the village. It may take a village to raise the child, but it is the parents responsibility to put in their fair share and bare the brunt of the cost, time and effort in raising them. Why can't people take a little more responsibility for their actions? Why is the burden always on those who are holding up civilization instead of those so busy tearing it down; the same ones who tell us to mind our own business and leave them alone? Yet as soon as they want something they come running, looking for a hand out and call us names when we look at them and say no; it is your responsibility. It is interesting that in our new Political Correct world that you cannot say these things even though they are true. Well like you I am sick and tired of it and I am saying something about it. It ain't right; think about it.

Lance Winslow

Baby Feeding Options For The Working Mother

Writen by Nicky Pilkington

Significant events in the 20th century resulted in changes in family dynamics. War, technological advances, and shifts in economics caused women to work outside of the home. Women traditionally stayed at home to take care of the home and the needs of the children. While initially many people scoffed at the idea of a woman leaving her children while she worked, it served the purpose of additional money coming into the household. Nowadays, people seldom give the idea of women working outside the home a second thought. There are, however, some issues that working mothers still need to handle when they make this choice.

With the addition of labor-related laws, it is now possible for women to bear children and return to work. However, managing common bonding activities such as breastfeeding can often take creative strategies. A woman could easily start her baby on formula and return to work without any hassles. However, there are many advantages of breastfeeding. The mother is able to pass on essential nutrients to her baby, it creates a bond between the mother and baby, the mother can lose the extra weight she gained during pregnancy, and it's inexpensive. When a woman works outside the home, she has to contemplate how she intends her baby to be fed. At one time the only choice for working mothers was to feed the baby formula. The introduction of breast pumps has made it possible for mothers to experience the benefits associated with breastfeeding while continuing to work.

There are essentially two types of breast pumps: manual and electrical/battery-operated. The difference between the two breast pumps is in how the mother's milk is extracted. Breast pumps are designed to extract milk from a mother's breast using the same cycle of motion as when the baby is feeding. A manual breast pump involves the mother using some type of control to dictate the cycles. A breast pump that operates on electrical or battery power performs the cycles automatically, however, the mother is typically able to specify the speed of the suction cycle. Determining the best breast pump is a matter of the mother considering her personal situation. It is a good idea to use factors such as cost, the availability of an electrical outlet, and portability to determine the best breast pump for your situation.

When choosing to buy a breast pump, you will discover there are numerous manufacturers. Medela is by far the most recognized name in breast pumps. This company, which originates from Switzerland, brought to the forefront the issue of working mothers being able to provide milk for their babies when they were away from home. Like most products, Medela offers a full line of products that feature product options for different situations. For example, the Medela classic offers breast pumps for situations when a mother requires frequent or infrequent pumping. With more than 10 product offerings, you should have no problem finding the breast pump for your particular situation.

Other reputable companies that provide breast pumps and other breastfeeding products include Ameda, Whittlestone, Whisper Wear, and Avent.

More detailed information about breast pumps and the advantages offered by feeding baby breast milk are available at http://www.breast-pump.info.

Post Adoption Depression Reality Or Fallacy

Writen by MM Caldwell

Q. I noticed a change in my sister's mood after she adopted her first child. She seemed to be depressed, much like post pardium depression. The entire family expected her to be elated since she finally had the child she longed for. Is this normal?

A. What your sister is going though is similar to post pardium depression. It is very real and can diminish the joy she experiences with her child. It is important that her family and friends understand the reasons and not belittle her for these feeling. Depression can come from a combination of a number of events triggering what is called "post adoption depression".

New changes to a lifestyle of parenting full time, a long drawn out adoption process, topped with years of infertility and lack of control in either of them can cause an onset of this type of depression. Be reassured not all mothers go through this, but with parenting comes challenges. Not all women find themselves depressed, but some new adoptive mothers start feeling the let down and the tension release of the entire adoption process soon after the child comes home.

Financial stressed from the adoption can make this time more stressful also. Many new mothers find staying home and the lack of sleep can contribute to her overall well-being. Many women are embarrassed to even mention their feeling. Often the comment I hear is "well you should to be happy now"!

If a woman continues to experience depression for more than a month, she should seek the advice of a qualified doctor who works with post pardium depression or a counselor specializing in adoption issues. Listen to an interview about post adoption stress at www.LetsTalkAdoption.com

Adoption Moment Tip

Surround yourself with positive people; get fresh air and good nutritious food. Put on some a little makeup during the day, even if you are at home. I found it helpful to get out and attend a comedy shows if you can just for fun. It sometimes is a comfort knowing other adoptive mothers have gone though this and are now experiencing the joy parenting can bring. It does get better.

Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. is the founder of Lifetime Adoption http://www.LifetimeAdoption.com Caldwell is an adoptive parent, the award-winning author of www.AdoptingOnline.com and Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide and radio talk show host of "Let's Talk Adoption". Mardie has writes and speaks on parenting, adoption, infertility, writing, financing, and travel. They have four children and live in Northern California. Contact Mardie at through her website http://www.MardieCaldwell.com

Raising A Selfsufficient Teen

Writen by Rachel Paxton

Teens don't learn responsibility overnight. If you haven't been working with your teen on gradually giving them a sense of independence and ownership of their lives, then you're going to have your work cut out for you. Don't wait until it's too late.

By the time your children are in high school, they should be doing for themselves a lot of the things you've been doing for them all of their lives. What does your teen do when they have a problem? Run to you? Or try to solve his/her own problem, maybe coming to you for advice when they've exhausted their own resources?

I don't know about you, but I want my daughter to be self-sufficient when she heads off to college. I want her to be able to choose her own friends, manage her own expenses, be up to the challenge of solving everyday problems in an effective and positive manner, and generally get her adult life off to a good start.

Sound difficult? Not if you start out with the small things. My teen told me most of her friends don't even know where their moms do their grocery shopping. I couldn't believe it. My daughter is involved with planning our meals (it's in her interest if she wants a say in what we're having to eat), and she goes to the grocery store with me every single week and helps me mark each item off the list. She reads labels, compares prices, and tells me when she thinks I'm spending too much money on something. And why does she care how much money I spend you might ask? Because our family's finances are tight, and she knows that any money we save at the grocery store our family will be able to spend somewhere else. What a great life lesson.

Because our family's finances are tight, my daughter has also learned how to budget. She is not directly involved in our financial planning, but she sees me making our budget and deciding the way we spend our family's money. She knows that when more money than expected has to be spent in a certain area, that something else has to give. She knows that money doesn't grow on trees. She's started to budget her own money--tithing, spending some, and saving some.

A lot of my daughter's friends wear expensive designer clothes. She knows we can't afford to buy clothes like that for her, so we frequent local thrift and clothing consignment stores, shop bargain sales, and do a lot of yard saling. Sure, I wish I could spend more money on her clothes, but she still finds much of the same designer clothing her friends wear. Other friends are jealous of the good buys she finds. When my daughter grows up part of me hopes she can afford nicer things for herself. But deep down, I'm grateful for the life lessons she's learning. Whether she has money or not, she will never want for anything because she knows how to get by no matter what her circumstances.

You might think your teen would think it a chore to go grocery shopping and shopping for second-hand clothing. My daughter doesn't look at it that way. Partly she's bored and wants to get out of the house, but going through these daily routines together is much of the time we spend together, hanging out and talking about other things on her mind. More than half of the time we spend in deep discussion takes place in the car driving from one place to another. I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

I'm not worried about whether or not my daughter is going to be able to take care of herself when she goes off to college. I'm certain she'll be up to the challenge.

A freshman in high school this year, she has four more years to practice before she's on her own. She cooks dinner once a week or so, does some of the laundry, and helps clean up after our pets keep the house clean. At her age, homework is most important to us and that takes priority over other things, so we don't overload her with chores, but my main concern is that she knows HOW to do these things. Especially with something like cooking it takes time to learn some of these skills. And if you don't have enough patience to help them learn something like how to cook, then let them learn through trial and error. Let them cook what they want to cook and let them even go buy the groceries to make it.

Let your teens schedule their own appointments and make other phone calls you normally make for them. I think everyone has a little fear of the phone at first, but after the first few times they'll enjoy the responsibility they've earned.

And did you notice what effect these changes will have on your life? Less responsibility and demands on you! It's a little hard to let go at first and you might have to take baby steps in handing over the reigns a little, but you'll be so proud of your teen the first time they take initiative on their own. When they leave home you'll worry less and know it was a job well done.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

Single Parents Give Yourselves Credit

Writen by Pat Downing

Single parents are not often thought of as good parents.

I became acutely aware of this fact when my children were young and I was dealing with the challenges of being a single mom. An "expert" told me that the increase in the number of dysfunctional families was directly related to the increasing number of single-parent families. The statistics proved it.

I was taken aback. I had never related dysfunction to the number of adults in a family. In fact, I was aware of many families that functioned better when one of the parents was no longer present.

His comment did make me stop and think, however. Were single parents really the cause of many of society's ills? Or was that a misconception? I felt that I needed to answer that question - not for society as a whole, but for my family.

To begin, I took a long, hard look at myself. Was I still a good parent? Were we functioning in a healthy, balanced way? Or were my children suffering from the "unnatural" situation of living with only one parent?

As I tried to see it all objectively, some things became clear to me.

First, I realized that I was not perfect. It was important for me to be able to acknowledge that, because there had been a time when I could not allow myself to fall short in anything I did. I had felt the need to be everything to everyone - the perfect mother, good housekeeper, reliable employee, involved citizen. I had felt like a failure because I could not possibly live up to my image of what I was supposed to be.

Then slowly, I had come to realize that it was okay to be less than perfect. I relaxed. I learned to set priorities and to let other things go. That set me free to devote more energy to the things most important to me, including my relationships with my children.

The second thing I realized was that I was a better parent than I had been before. Oh, I still made lots of mistakes. The challenges of single parenting are overwhelming. But it is easy to get so bogged down in the problems that we forget to notice our successes.

In fact, our family was much closer and stronger than it had been before. One of the greatest differences was that we talked to each other more than we had in the past. Part of this was due to he ages of my children (they were 10 and 12 at the time), but in many ways, our closer relationship came out of necessity.

When we were suddenly 3 instead of 4, it was clear that we had to communicate more in order to function. Our financial situation had changed and although the burden was mine, it required an adjustment in my children's expectations as well. At home we all needed to pitch in to keep things running smoothly, and that had to be coordinated. Emotionally, we had all gone through some major changes and my main concern had been that my children not develop negative feelings about themselves or the adults in their lives.

All of this required many hours of talking as a family and also one-on-one. We developed the habit of sitting down to discuss things whenever a problem arose or a decision needed to be made. We had family meetings regularly and they provided a practical way to take care of family business, such as deciding upon house rules, chore assignments or how to spend some fun time together. In the process, we learned how to work together as a team and to stay in touch with each other's feeling.

So were my children harmed by growing up in a single parent household? It is really a mixed bag.

Yes, they missed out on the experience of having both parents at home, for which I still carry some sadness. At the same time, they became thoughtful, caring, responsible people, who were sensitive to the needs of others and accepted responsibility with grace and good humor. Most important, they lived every day in a home that was filled with love and laughter - and that is worth a great deal.

Thinking about our experiences and what I have observed in other families, I have come to some conclusions. I would like to share these with other parents who are facing similar challenges.

1. Families can function in a balanced, healthy way, regardless of the number of adults who happen to live in the home. The key is not how many people live under the same roof - or their ages - but the ways in which they relate to each other. Communication and mutual respect are major factors.

2. Every person in a family has intrinsic value and his or her ideas need to be considered regardless of age. Children and teenagers usually have good ideas and want to have responsibilities long before many parents realize. If we recognize and accept their contributions, we will be enriched and at the same time, we will help them to become more responsible, caring people who feel good about themselves and their world.

3. As parents, we don't need to be perfect. We know what the "ideal" mother is like - cheerful, patient, with lots of time to give lovingly to her children in a neat orderly home, where she prepares delicious, well-balanced meals and keeps everything running smoothly at all times.

In fact, it is not possible to be that ideal parent and home-maker while also carrying the full-time responsibility of earning a living, yet many single parents build expectations of themselves around that image. This often causes a lot of guilt and frustration for people who are doing the best they can to raise their children in today's society.

It's okay to make mistakes, to be inconsistent once in a while, to leave dirty dishes in the sink - in other words, to be human. The most important part of the job of parenting is the relationships with our children. Let the rest fall where it may.

4. It is never too late to change the ways in which we relate to one another. We have all made mistakes along the way, but we parents are learning and growing just as our children are. Sometimes the best thing that can happen in family is to admit to one-another that what we have been doing isn't working, and to agree to work together to find a better way.

The important things are:

- to be real with each, other,
- to respect each other's feelings,
- to say "I'm sorry" when it's needed - and mean it,
- to ask one-another for help and to give it in return,
- to work together to help each other to grow.

None of these things can happen if we are angry, frustrated or resentful.

The only way to create good, positive relationships is to relate to each other from our hearts, bringing the energy of love into every conversation - no matter how frustrating our day has been.

So how do we do that? It's tough out there, and by the time we get home, we're tired, frustrated - sometimes angry.

That's the very reason we HAVE to do it - because our children deserve better from us than what's left over at the end of a work day.

It doesn't take long to shift our energy. We can do it in the car on the way home. The important thing is what we focus on.

If I think about all the things that went wrong at work today, I will walk through that door in a really bad mood, and my children will pay a high price.

If, on the way home, I think about something my child did that upset me, I will re-create the energy of my anger or disappointment, and that is how I will greet my child when I get home.

If I decide, however, to take responsibility for the emotional energy in our home, I will focus on things about my children that please me - things I appreciate. Then when I walk through that door, I will bring the energy of love and respect, and that will create an environment in which my children will respond to me and to each other in the same way.

So, what kind of parent do you choose to be? It IS a choice, you know. We make it every day - many times a day.

We can be the kind of parents who confirm the statistics - or we can defy them.

If we live from our hearts - if we allow love to guide us and if we learn to trust our own inner wisdom - we can raise our children to be loving, responsible, emotionally balanced adults. In the process, we will be blessed many times over.

Pat Downing has many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. She is co-author of the e-Book, "Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child." For more information on how to create relationships that are peaceful, harmonious, cooperative and joyful, you may go to go to http://www.feelgoodparenting.com to sign up for a free e-Course and a free e-zine for parents.

This article is copyright protected.

PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.

Toy Ideas For Children With Cerebral Palsy And Special Needs

Writen by LJ Stewart

One of the more common problems with mainstream toys is that they are meant to be used with two hands- often times children with cerebral palsy will have limited use of one side of the body or the use of only one hand.

Toys should be fun and children should have a feeling of accomplishment or success when playing- not frustrated or reminded of what they cannot do.

Many of the commercial toys on the market can be adapted or used by children with cerebral palsy.

There are many toys that you can buy at any toy store or department store that are affordable and fun to use. Look for toys that can be used with one hand. Musical instruments are great for this- a trumpet, harmonica, xylophone or maracas. These also develop a sense of cause and effect with young children and help controlled movement with older children.

Magnetic type toys are all the rage and a big hit with kids of all ages- there are tons of magnetic toys available in many forms- magnetic jig saw puzzles, magnetic construction toys and magnetic marbles.

A simple ball is a lot of fun and great for developing coordination- get a neat ball that glows in the dark, flashes lights or play music when you roll it.

Toys or play that involve the senses will help with sensory integration development. Sand and water are great for this. You can also fill a empty dish pan with uncooked rice- a great makeshift sand box for a rainy day. A tip to avoid sand box mess: put the sandbox on cement blocks- will be at waist level and kids won't get sand in all their clothes.

Toys that help with coordination and controlled movement are also a good choice. Bowls filled with beads, beans or jelly beans are good for sorting, counting and grouping. Excellent for controlled movement. Building blocks- simple wooden blocks, large dominoes for stacking also help with controlled movement. Also try empty milk cartons for stacking.

Play-doh is always a favorite- make your own play-doh and use Kool-Aid to not only color it but give it a fruity scent. Your child will be developing sensory awareness and visual motor integration skills as he plays.

Keep a box around filled with wheeled toys. Toy trucks and cars of all sizes. These deal with non-verbal expression, problem solving and self-control.

Keep toys in site so your child can see what available- avoid opaque containers and lids. Baskets are great for this.

You can find many toys in local stores and make your own from even around your house without having to spend a lot of money on adaptive or special needs toys. Mainstream toys help with developmental skills such as cognitive awareness, controlled movement and coordination- and don't forget they are fun!

LJ Stewart is homeschool mom and freelance writer. She has special interest in providing support to families coping with cerebral palsy and preventable birth injuries.

Spanking Children

Writen by Rexanne Mancini

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Results of the Spanking Poll on Rexanne.com: Voters - 233

Percentage of readers who do not spank their children: 37%

Percentage of readers who spank their children: 62%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am completely opposed to spanking. I know that almost twice as many of you spank your children as don't. At the risk of alienating 62 percent of my subscribers, I cannot, in good conscience, keep my opinions to myself. ;-)

I feel we have evolved enough as a society to understand that violence breeds violence. Hitting is physically violent. So is spanking. I do not believe spanking children teaches them to mind their parents or caretakers any better than other forms of constructive discipline. If it is unacceptable to hit an adult, what makes it acceptable to hit a child? Taking into consideration the parent or caretaker is most likely three times the size of the child, doesn't this bring up issues of bullying? Many of the comments left on the spanking poll mentioned a biblical reference, "Spare the rod, spoil the child." When we consider that the bible was written thousands of years ago, we must also take into consideration that we may have advanced to the point where biblical interpretations are probably not to be taken as literally as they once were. I do not believe parents should spank their children into submission, any more than I believe criminals should be stoned to death by the masses, as was the custom so many years ago.

Many parents (myself included) have neglected to replace spanking with another solid form of discipline. Refraining from spanking our kids does not negate disciplining them. We have created a generation of children without boundaries in our zeal to adopt a kinder, gentler parenting style. While I am thoroughly delighted that many parents have decided not to spank their children, I am saddened by the lack of respect for authority in so many children today. Without limits, children are insecure, always testing the boundaries ... begging to be corralled for their own safety. In removing physical punishment, we need to find a healthy replacement.

Another comment mentioned often in the spanking poll had to do with spanking a child "out of love." I think this means the parent is disciplining their child because they love them. Yes, by all means, discipline your child when needed. My only request is that you consider not raising a hand or your voice to them in order to accomplish this. My methods have been to remove a privilege, after a warning. It might not be the best form of imposing limits on children but it works pretty well with my daughters ... most of the time. ;-)

One interesting comment was from a mother who said she only spanked her child when the kid was outright defiant. Well, you know, I wanted to consider that option for about two seconds! When my older daughter is defiant, my immediate instinct is to smack her ... but I don't. She is now an inch taller than I am and almost outweighs me. Not a good time to start swatting her butt. She'd either laugh at me or hit me back. Neither option seems conducive to maintaining authority! As much as that option sounded tempting, it is not the answer. If we are to grow as a people, we need to adopt more humane methods of teaching our children to behave.

The comment that disturbed me most was from parents who said they did not spank their child "right away." The child is told they are going to be spanked while the parent goes somewhere else to "calm down" before doling out the dreaded punishment. Sorry, this one gives me the willies. To me, this is a method of psychological torture. Imagining a small child, probably a toddler (or an adolescent reduced to a toddler's fears) in this situation tears at my heart. If I were a child, waiting patiently for a spanking, I think I would seriously consider running away. Why stick around for a parent who is going to come back, irrationally calm in the face of my utter terror, and let them hurt me? I do not think this is a good idea, no matter what the circumstance. I would rather see a parent swat a kid on the butt from sheer frustration, as in the situation with a defiant child, than meditate on it a while and then do the deed. I'm sure I have just contradicted parenting advice many of you have heard by experts. These experts do not rate one inch in my life. I cannot imagine a competent child psychologist thinking that this is OK.

I am 100% committed to a no-spanking philosophy. I believe spanking will be outlawed in most countries within a few years. This practice has been a traditional tool of discipline for far too long.

Please, my dearest readers who do not share my opinion, I ask that you consider the alternatives. Many parents spank, simply for lack of a better solution. There are other solutions. It's not always easy, I know. Spanking is probably the easiest method of momentarily whipping a child in line, however, if we are armed with alternate choices that really work, we will be better parents.

Copyright 2000 – 2005 – Rexanne Mancini

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html