Quotdangers On The Internetquot Is The Internet The Problem Or Is It Parenting

Writen by Aldene Fredenburg

Much is made on television and in the print media lately about the dangers of the Internet to children and young teens. From sexual predators to websites advocating anorexia to readily available bomb-making instructions, the Internet seems to be this big scary monster ready to gobble up our young.

Of course predatory adults shouldn't be soliciting children over the Internet, and these individuals need to be apprehended and prosecuted. But when I hear of some of the problems kids are getting into these days, be it regarding their use of the Internet or other youthful behaviors, one thought comes repeatedly to mind:

I don't remember being quite that stupid when I was that age!

Despite what experts are saying about the development of the brain among children and teenagers, I seem to remember knowing at a very young age that I shouldn't allow strangers to spirit me away; that if I rode a bicycle off the roof of my house the result was going to hurt; that if I set myself on fire I would get burned. If someone had suggested to me that I strangle myself to get a "rush" when I woke up, or that I inhale the contents of an aerosol can because it would make me feel good, I would've thought that person was an idiot.

So what is going on that children and teenagers are so willing to try really stupid stunts, that they're so naïve, so willing to expose themselves to things that clearly aren't in their best interests? Yes, it probably has something to do with the easy access to information and contacts of all kinds on the Internet, as well as the constant barrage of unedited and uncensored information pouring out of TV sets; but the real problem may be that parents, for whatever reason, aren't present in their children's lives in any real sense.

Kids don't seem to be developing a core of common sense that they can rely on to make decisions, and I can't help thinking it's got something to do with the parent-child relationship. Whether parents are working too hard, or caught up in other activities, or just unwilling to play a dominant authoritarian role in their children's lives, there's something amiss when a twelve- or thirteen-year-old hasn't yet developed the discernment to avoid some of these dangerous behaviors.

While we do have to monitor what children and teenagers are exposed to on the Internet and on TV, maybe the more important issue is to figure out what kids are really learning from their parents, and if the answer is "not much," that's what we really need to address.

Aldene Fredenburg is a freelance writer living in southwestern New Hampshire. She has written numerous articles for local and regional newspapers and for a number of Internet websites, including Tips and Topics. She expresses her opinions periodically on her blog, http://beyondagendas.blogspot.com She may be reached at amfredenburg@yahoo.com

Quotreflectionsquot On Parenting

Writen by Audrey Lizee

Why is it that we tend to not appreciate what we have until it's gone? In the extra time that my mind has had freed up since my children have gone from home, I have found time for moments of reflection, time to learn to appreciate the present, and in hindsight wishing I could have appreciated the good stuff in parenting while I was in it. I have also gained a whole new perspective of 'empty nest syndrome. You not only have to learn to live without the children action, friends in and out, dating, partying, school, exams, sports, arguments, curfews, sleepless nights, and a lot of balance, you have to learn to live with yourself, your own space and your spouse all over again. Maybe more time is allowed to reflect, wondering where time has gone, how did the kids get this old this fast, and why is my body not in sync with my brain that wants to enjoy this new freedom?

No one ever said parenting was going to be easy. There was never a book written to give all the answers, but we all wished there would have been. There has always been and always will be experts out there on parenting, from Dr. Spock of the 70's to Dr. Dobson, Dr. Phil, and the Internet of today's generation. If you are a parent reading this right now, wondering which expert to try next because your child just did another thing you cannot relate to, rest assured that "this too shall pass" and you really are the only expert your children need! Maybe at some point, we all thought we could do things different than our parents did, not make the same mistakes, and in that thinking process we cut ourselves off from the best advice, support system and role models there ever was, our parents!

Good parenting long ago was about keeping the children alive. Loss of a child would be most often accident or disease/sickness related. We may have progressed far beyond the basic life and death issues but every once in a while we have to be reminded that raising children is still about protecting life. The difference between 'good' and 'bad' parenting becomes very clear when we hear tragic stories such as 'abandoned baby in dumpster' or 'child dies of heatstroke after being left locked in a vehicle' or '1 year old and 3 year old left alone die in house fire' or 'father given life sentence for beating child to death.'

Of course, keeping our children alive is only the beginning of our role as a parent. We want to nurture our children so they become loving, caring, respectful, compassionate adults of integrity, so we work hard at this role we have been honored with. There is compelling evidence provided that children in infant/preschool years who are parented with lots of affection and consistent care develop all their capacities in a healthy way. Children in extreme neglect or abuse end up with underdeveloped brains as well as social, emotional and physical deficits. We may qualify to win the sleepless night sweepstake, and we may have to forget our own wants for a few years but it is good to know that this hard work is especially worthwhile when our children are too young to remember.

The rewards come when your 20 year old calls you her best friend and when you get an email from your 28 year old saying 'mom, can we hang out more next time I come home' or simply 'thanks for encouraging me to be 'me'. It would be unloving for a parent to expect our child to be anyone less than who they are destined to be. When the realization sets in that we are not in control of our children's fate, that this whole parenting thing is not about control, we are not God but simply a guide, it becomes a test of faith. Our job is about honoring, loving and supporting this person in-the-making to become the individual they are meant to be. All we can do is role model loving, personally responsible behavior.

So, what is parenting? Maybe it is not so much what we give to our children but what we receive. The greatest gift is love, generously given, with no expectation of repayment. In the end, the greatest reward is that "Reflection" that helps us see, just the kind of parent we have been. The greatest realization for me is that God loved me enough to give me children so I can give back with all my love, unconditionally!

"The cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait for tomorrow
For children grow up
As I've learned to my sorrow
So guilt down cobwebs
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep."
-Ruth Hamilton

Parenting Tips The Purpose Of Parenting

Writen by Jeff Herring

As children grow from childhood into adolescence, it's important for parents to remember what the purpose of parenting and the purpose of adolescence is all about.

The purpose of parenting

Parenting is one of those rare jobs in which one of the primary goals is to work yourself out of a job. One way this is done is by teaching the adolescent how to be more and more in charge of himself.

In no way am I saying that teens should be allowed to do whatever they want. As a matter of fact, there are times when teens need more attention and structure than do younger children. There are times when parents tend to over structure the time of children and understructure the time of adolescents.

Controlling vs. managing teens

The difference between trying to control vs. manage a teenager is all in how you approach the situation.

A management approach meets these six key criteria:

1. The parents are clearly in charge.

2. The teen, over time, learns and earns the ability to be more in charge of himself.

3. There is a clear map for continually building trust and responsibility.

4. The parents have a way to monitor the progress of the teen.

5. There are clear consequences when the teen demonstrates that he cannot be in charge of himself.

6. There is a map for how to earn back trust and responsibility when it is lost.

Visit http://www.ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. For regular weekly tips you can subscribe to our f-ree Parenting Your Teenager Newsletter. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Parenting The Foundation For Learning

Writen by Mary Joyce

Much of a child's ability to learn comes from their motivation to learn and much of their motivation and effort they put into their learning is based on the value they put on learning and their ongoing education.

As a parent, you need to know that the value that your child associates with learning is strongly influenced by you and what you as their parent expect from them. Much research as determined that the expectations that parents have for their children is directly related to learning behavior and attitude both positively and negatively. All of this to say is that when parents expect their children to do well academically they do; and when parents expect failure the get failure. This is why it is extremely important that you as a parent set positive expectations and examples when it comes to learning and education.

Always be communicating to your child that you expect them to do well with their learning assignments and projects. Over time your child will understand that no matter what the assignment; they know what your expectations are and that you as a parent truly believe what you are saying about education and learning.

But it's not all about communicating your expectations; a big key for your child aspiring to work toward your expectations is encouragement from you. You not only must let your child know that you expect them to do well, but you also let them know that you know that they can do it. Let them know when they are engaged in a difficult assignment or subject that you know that it is difficult but that they can do it if they continue to try and stay with it! And when your child accomplishes… celebrate the successes.

Expectations fortified with constant encouragement and praise is a powerful force in learning for a child when it comes from their parents.

Be a role model for your child. It's much easier for you as a parent to get your child to buy in to your expectations when they see you adopt the same importance in learning as you espouse to them. In other words, make sure that your children see you partaking in learning activities around the house. One of the best examples that you can set for your child is reading. Make sure that your children always see you reading and keeping up with current events. Be sure to have plenty of reading material around the house. Make it a point to take your child to the library and get involved in reading programs with them.

Remember, expecting your child to do well with their studies is only the first step; you have to follow through though. Always encourage and praise as your child is working toward those expectations. If your child receives no feedback from you along the way, their motivation wanes and is sometimes lost. When your child succeeds… celebrate. And don't just celebrate when the final goal is reached; make sure all the little successes are recognized along the way. Soon your child will understand that even a large and foreboding looking learning task can be accomplished a little at a time.

And finally… be an educational and learning role model for your child. Be visible to your child around the house when you are reading, or even when you have to break out a set of instruction on how to put something together and learn something that you yourself don't yet know how to do.

The value of learning is definitely something that you can pass along to your child to help ensure their long term successes.

Mary Joyce is a former educator & homeschooler whose website homeschool-curriculum-4u.com offers resources and articles on homeschool curriculum, & more.

Read This Article If You Want To Stop Your Teens From Doing Drugs

Writen by Lance Winslow

Teenage drug abuse is running ramped in the United States and we need another Nancy Reagan type to get the kids to 'just say no.' We must do something as it seems that everywhere in the country the kids are doing the crystal meth. Many seem to get addicted and they are filling up our jails, rehabilitation centers and causing a real labor problem in this country.

The problem is so bad that many employers assume everyone who comes in to get a job has drug problem or they would already have a job, so it hurts the good kids too. Some parents having grown up in the sixties and seventies thing that well the kids are going to try it. Indeed, but this is not the same types of drugs they did, this is a whole new ball game, the stuff is more potent then cut cocaine and lasts longer once they take it. This means that they are up sometimes for days and it literally starts destroying their bodies.

The health care costs alone in the future is a real problem as these kids if they do not get un-hooked will be having heart attacks by age 35 and someone is going to have to pay for all that. Currently if the 30% in some areas of kids using the drugs start having heart attacks or chronic illness issues at such a young age then it will bankrupt our health care system. So parents need to talk about this with their kids and if they have a problem with it, get them help or help them with their addiction. It affects us all and it is a serious issue, think on this.

Lance Winslow

Top Ten Reasons To Hold Family Meetings

Writen by Dan and Suzanne Bond

1. Make stronger connections among individuals and, therefore, creates a closer family.

In this very busy world, designating this time every week is one way to ensure that family members stay connected with one another. Relationships are living things, and must be nurtured. Family meetings are about nourishing our relationships with the most important people in our lives. Form the habit of connecting regularly.

2. Create family value statements and operating principles.

Family meetings give you a chance to discuss what's important to you as a family and to create family value statements, which reflect your collective thoughts. Similarly, they give you a chance to talk about how you want to operate together as a family and treat one another, by developing family operating principles.

3. Share appreciations and give thanks for our many blessings.

This is a way to give children and adults permission to let one another know how much they are appreciated, and to share the many things they have to be thankful for. It is far too easy to take the blessings in our lives, and our loved ones, for granted if we do not form the habit of appreciating on a regular basis.

4. Improves family communication

More and more today, family members are going in different directions and at break-neck speed. Add to this the fact that each person is unique and perceives the world in his or her own way. Miscommunication can cause hard feelings. It is crucial to never assume that what you are saying is being understood the way you intended it, or that you are understanding what others are trying to tell you. Always take the time to check perceptions. The family meeting can be a "rest area" where time is set aside to make certain that communications are clear.

5. Provide leadership experience

Everyone gets a turn at leading the family meetings. This is a great way for children to get early leadership experience. Be certain that their contributions in this regard are honored and respected. You will be building a confident future leader, who will experience the joy of positive leadership.

6. Offers an opportunity to stay current regarding upcoming commitments, activities, and events.

Family meetings are wonderful opportunities to review the family calendar, clarify who needs to be where and when, as well as who will be taking responsibility for what. Once again, clear communication and joint planning can relieve the ongoing stress of busy lives.

7. Gives an avenue to celebrate each other's successes.

This is most important. Family meetings should always contain a time to celebrate successes of each family member during the week. These need not be big, monumental events but can simply be every day successes. This not only creates pride and joy in daily life, but also forms the habit in each family member of looking for the positive in one another.

8. Provides time to plan family vacations, activities, and special events.

This gives everyone in the family a chance to give their input into a family trip or experience, rather than the adults always doing the planning. When the whole family is involved, everyone is much more likely to enjoy the event. Investment in family activities, for each member, is often directly proportional to his or her involvement in the planning. A richer shared experience is most often the result.

9. Establish a safe, respectful environment to problem solve.

By following the family's operating principles, and with open and honest communication, children will learn that problems can be discussed openly and solved respectfully together. Creating win-win solutions takes practice, for adults as well as for children and youth.

10. Have fun together

These meetings provide a great opportunity for the family to participate in fun family activities. As family members get to know one another better, share stories, laugh, and problem solve together, deeper relationships develop. Try to weave fun into every family meeting.

Copyright 2004 by CoachVille & Dan and Suzanne Bond

About The Author

Dan and Suzanne Bond

As a school teacher, high school principal, and superintendent, I worked for many years with parents who were raising their children. I have boy/girl twins who will be seniors in high school next year. It is my strong belief that ALL parents want to be good parents. Being a mother of twins and a working mom most of my career, I know the feeling of a busy schedule coupled with the desire to make meaningful connections with children. It is my desire to help parents/caregivers make those connections with their children and share character-building values with them as well.

I earned by doctorate degree from Seattle University in 1982. I recently retired from the superintendent's job and work just part time as a coach to people who studying to become principals and superintendents. I am excited to provide this same kind of support to parents and other educators who may learn of my services.

Duplication, with attribution, permitted and encouraged. www.CoachvVille.com

From CoachVille's "Awesome Dads, dare to be a hero!" community.

Check us out at: http://dbc593.cvcommunity.com

su.dan@verizon.net

Parenting Your Teenager 6 Things To Stop Doing Right Away

Writen by Jeff Herring

1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make your teen-ager do

It doesn't work. When our kids are infants, we are in total charge. Between ages 3 to 13, kids still really like us, and often will go along with what we want.

However, from 13 on they realize they are as big as we are, and they can really do a lot of what they want. So, stop focusing on what you are going to make them do and start focusing on what you are going to do. How you are going to respond to what they do; what you will give and what you will withhold; how you are going to model good choices for them. Focus on what you are going to do, because it's the only thing you can really control.

2. STOP lecturing

You didn't listen when your parents did it, so what makes you think your kids are going to listen to you?

The same information can be conveyed over time in short bursts. Keep it short and sweet. One of the best places to do the short and sweet stuff is while riding in the car. You have a captive audience, and you are both looking ahead and not staring at each other.

3. STOP using adultisms

We commit an adultism when we forget what it's like to be a teen -- to think and reason and experience the world as a teen -- and expect a teen-ager, who has never been an adult, to think, act, reason and experience the world like an adult.

4. STOP grounding or restricting them for long periods of time

By long I mean, except for the most enormous of infractions, any longer than two weeks. For adults, two weeks is like a snap of the fingers -- gone. For most teens, two weeks seems like forever, which causes diminishing positive results the longer the grounding. Consequences need to be strong enough to get their attention, swift enough after the infraction to have an effect, and short-term so they can have another chance to do better soon.

5. STOP trying to reason with them about the rules

Here is one event I can guarantee will never happen in your household: You explain a rule or why you said no to your teen-ager, and they respond with, "Well, thank you, Mom and Dad, I never thought of it that way, and now that you have explained it that way to me, I no longer want to go to the movies with David, I feel bad for asking, and I think I'll just go to bed early and think about the wisdom you just shared with me."

There are still times when "because I said so" is the best thing you can say.

6. STOP making every issue a battle for control

If every issue is a battle for control, your teen will make every issue a battle for independence. Remember, trying to control a teen-ager is like trying to put pants on a gorilla -it's just going to frustrate you and make the gorilla very mad.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Loving Yourself Loving Your Children

Writen by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Think about this for a moment: Is it really possible to love your children without loving yourself, or to love yourself without loving your children?

The answer is no.

If you are ignoring yourself to take care of your children, this is not loving to your children or to yourself. While being there for your children is very important, it is equally important to role model for them what it is like to take responsibility for your own well-being. If you take care of your children but do not take care of your own feelings and needs, they will not learn how to take responsibility for their feelings and needs. They will grow up either expecting someone else to take care of them, or they will care-take others while ignoring themselves – just as you do.

On the other hand, if you are narcissistic and just attend to what you want, ignoring your children's feelings and needs, you are not being loving to yourself or your children. You cannot possibly end up feeling worthy and valuable within yourself when you are self-centered and ignore your children's needs.

If you are approving of your children but judgmental toward yourself, your children will likely learn to be judgmental toward themselves. You are their role model, and they will likely learn to do what you do. If you treat them well but treat yourself badly, there is a good possibility that they will learn to treat themselves badly, no matter how loving you are with them.

If you want to be a loving parent with your children, it is essential that you also learn to be a loving parent with yourself. This does not mean that you ignore your children's needs in favor or your own, or vise versa. What it does mean is that you learn to create a balance between taking care of them and taking care of yourself. While this is not always possible, especially with infants, it is certainly a goal to aim for.

This may mean that they don't always get what they want just when they want it – once they are old enough to play by themselves. It means that sometimes you say to them things like:

"I need some time alone for myself now and you need to play by yourself for awhile."

"We (you and your spouse) need some time alone together right now so you need to find something to do."

"I'm on the phone and this is important to me. What you want will have to wait."

"Daddy and I (or Mommy and I) are talking about something that is important to us. Please don't interrupt us right now."

"I need to go to sleep early tonight because I have to get up early for an important appointment, so please do not make noise and wake me up."

As a parent, you need to learn to respect your own feelings and needs as well as theirs. By honoring your feelings and needs as well as theirs, they will learn to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs while also respecting and honoring others' feelings and needs.

Many people have been taught that taking care of their own feelings and needs is selfish – that they should just be there for others. This is a false definition of selfish. We are being selfish when we expect others to give themselves up for us. We are being self-responsible when lovingly take care of ourselves while also caring about others.

You serve your children well when you learn to stay tuned into to their feelings and needs as well as your own. You have a good chance of raising caring and personally responsible children when you learn to care about yourself while taking loving care of them.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Educational Toys Not Just For Kids

Writen by Ted Moryto

"Dad, can I help?, my 7 year old son Jack pleads

"Not right now buddy, it's a little tricky", I grunt as I try to install a new lock in the front door, sweat trickling down my brow. Why is it he always wants to help when I'm trying to do something important? Something that requires my full attention and a great deal of skill which I seem to be lacking. Duh?, I think to myself, what am I complaining about, I should be thankful that he wants to do more than sit in front of a video game for hours. I should be thankful he's looking for a challenge. That he wants to create something of lasting value that he can be proud of. And most important, that he wants to be part of a team, with his dad. How cool is that? "Jack, next weekend we'll do a special project together, I promise". "Oh, sweet Dad, what?" "You'll see buddy, it'll be really cool." Now I think, great, so now what have I gotten myself into?

So what would be a good project for a middle aged accountant and a 7 year old to do on a Saturday afternoon. Well, replacing the front lock had taken me the better part of a day and left my one hand with a lengthy cut from a chisel and the other with several blisters. So I immediately dismiss home improvement projects which could result in a trip to the emergency room or at least a severely bruised ego. I instead decide to scour the vastness of my very own neighborhood toy store for a fitting solution.

My criteria is simple. It needs to be a project, something we accomplish, not just a toy we pull out of the box, put batteries in and it goes. Where's the fun in that, and besides we have an entire afternoon to kill. It needs to be something that a 7 year old can participate in but challenging enough that he's going to have to ask questions and accept help, just like starting a new job. And it needs to have an element of creativity, I hate reading long step by step instructions which is probably why I still wait for the start of a TV program and then press record on my VCR.

I browse through a myriad of science kits and eventually settle on Energy Wiz, a kit with dozens of projects and experiments all related to electricity, motors, magnets, wind and solar power. What I like about the kit is that we can start off small and progress to more complicated projects. I also like that it contains most of the materials we need, but that we may also have to find a few household items. This should add to the challenge and demonstrate to Jack that not everything in life comes in a neat little package. But best of all, the instruction booklet has lots color pictures. The instructions are simple and there are lots of pictures of how things we see everyday use these same principles.

Well the kit is a big hit! Jack and I start off burning a hole through a piece of paper with a magnifying glass. Then on to building a solar powered car. I'm amazed when Jack uses the magnifying glass to increase the speed of the car. Hey, that's not in the book. Hmm! maybe he's on to something. Seems like a good time to make hydrogen and oxygen from water, fuel cells are not too far down the road you know. Then we make a battery using nails, vinegar and salt. Jack asks where's the French fries. Mom calls, it's dinner time. We both whine, "Just five more minutes. Pleeeasse".

Ted Moryto is an engineer,father and owner of Brain Waves Educational Toys Canada

Keeping Your Children Safe

Writen by Scott Shaper

The purpose of this article is to address some of the key points parents need to know in order to keep their children safe.

Let them know who can help them:

When I was an officer I participated in something called "Safty Town". What they did was educated very young children (ages 4 to 5) on safety matters. My role was to visit the children while in uniform, then the instructor and myself would educate the children on how to identify a police officer. We would point out things on my uniform like my badge, radio, big belt with all sorts of stuff, and the color of my uniform. The purpose was to get the children to understand what a police officer would look like and more importantly to let them know that we are there to help them if they need help.

Often times when I was on duty and having lunch in a restaurant, I would have some parent who was having a problem with their young child, say something like "If you don't sit up straight I will go tell that police officer to arrest you." Or, we would have parents bring there children into our police station and want us to threaten to arrest their child if they do not wear their seatbelt or for some other discipline problem the parent was having that day. This is a very counter productive thing to do. What these parents are telling their children is that the police are in a sense the boogey man and someone to be fearful of. The major problem with this is; if something happens, the child will be afraid to seek out a police officer for help.

If you are having a discipline problem with your child be the parent and deal with it. Do not put it on the police department's shoulders, it is not their child, nor their problem. Attempting to have the police department dicipline your child will do more harm than good. If you have had a bad contact with the police you need to through that over the fence when it comes to protecting your child. Because like it or not if your child becomes missing the first organization your going to contact will be the police department, no matter how you feel.

What is a stranger:

It is common for parents to tell their children the danger of going with strangers. The problem is what is a stranger. What adults view as a stranger is different then what a child may view as a stranger. Instead of addressing what a stranger is, you need to address things a stranger may do and address dangerous situations your child may have to deal with. This makes it much easier for your child to understand. Below is a list of common issues your child should be made aware of.

What if an adult wants you to do something you don't want to do?

First, every child should know that he or she has a right to say "No!". We have a tendency to tell children to obey adults. This makes them vulnerable to every adult. There are only certain adults they should obey. And you should tell them who they are. Teach your child to protect their personal space from unwanted intrusion.

What if an adult asks you to keep a secret from your mother or your father?

No adult should ask a child to keep a secret from their parents. If an adult, even someone they trust like a babysitter or a relative, ever tells them to keep a secret, they should tell you immediately. Molesters depend on the fact that a child will keep their secret.

Definition of a stranger

Children should know that a stranger is any adult they don't know well. That doesn't mean they're bad. It just means they haven't earned your trust yet. Even someone they see every day, like a neighbor, is a stranger if they don't know them well.

What if a stranger wants you to come to his car or house?

If a stranger pulls over and asks for help or wants to show you something in his car, don't go to the car. Stand back and be ready to run. You should explain that while it's OK for a child to ask a grownup for help, grownups shouldn't ask children for help. They should be asking other grownups. Abductors will use many lures to draw children to them:

They ask for help, like directions for finding a pet.
They seduce children with gifts, candy, money or jobs.
They make threats.
They pretend to be authority figures, like police and clergy.
They say its an emergency. "Your parents are hurt. I'll take you to the hospital."

What do you do if a stranger says he's come to pick you up?

For the safety of your child, you should have a secret code word that just the family members know. If you ever send someone to pick up your child, give them the code word. Your child should not go near the car unless the stranger knows the secret word.

What do you do if you think that someone is following you?

Don't be alone. Immediately run to a friend's house or the nearest store and tell them. What if a stranger ever threatens you or tries to grab you? Shout "HELP" and "I don't know you" and "call 911". And get away fast. Make a big scene so people will come. Carry and use a personal attack alarm. Most abductors and molesters will run away if their victim fights and attracts attention with noise.

What if you're home alone and someone calls for your mother or father?

A child should never tell anyone they're home alone. Just tell them "My parents can't come to the phone right now. I'll take a message." And never open the door to any stranger.

What if you get separated while you are shopping or in another public place?

Whenever you go shopping, set up a meeting place. If you get separated, don't search for each other. Immediately go to the meeting place. Or ask a police officer, guard, or employee for assistance.

Encourage children to walk and play together, to watch out for each other. Young children should not be out alone, especially in the evening.

Explain that if they're ever lost or abducted that you will look for them until you find them. No matter what. This is critical. Most abducted children are told by the abductors that their parents don't want them anymore. If they believe it, they have no place else to go.

Know the basics:

Another thing that we did at safety town was to make sure the children memorized the following:

Their first and last name
Their age
Their street address
Their full telephone number with area code
Their parent's first and last name(s)

This information is very important and not very hard for even a young child to remember as long as someone helps them. It would be a good idea to make it a daily practice of having your child repeat the above listed information to you on a daily basis, that way they should get it memorized pretty quick. As a police officer I had come across lost children who were unable to give me their basic information, which made getting home a lot harder.

There are more dangers then just strangers:

Another thing that was addressed in safety town was letting the children understand what dangerous things they might find and what to do. Items such as guns, knives, syringe needles etc…, which they may unfortunately find in parks or even school playgrounds.

To give an example I was once dispatched to a residence where someone had overdosed on heroin. The other people that were with him got scared they would get into trouble and pulled the syringe out of his arm and threw it outside into a snow bank. We had to pull teeth to get the information out of the addicts friends regarding what they did with the syringe. Finally we were able to locate it in the snow bank. This snow bank was located in a elementary school yard that was adjacent to the apartment complex where the heroin user was found. The area where the snow bank was, was right next to a path that the kids took to go to school. I also want to emphasize that the heroin user was also tested positive for hepatitis C. I want to further note that I worked for a small suburban city that was for the most part a safe community. Do not fall under the false sense of security that just because you do not live in the inner city that you or your children will be safe from criminal activity.

The above example shows the importance of children to be able to recognize these things and contact an adult about them if found, but not to touch the items themselves. A good way to get children to identify with what these objects look like, is to find photographs of them and explain to the child what they are and what to do if found.

We have included on this website two free downloadable pamplets courtesy of National Center for Missing and Exploited Children they are as follows:

Personal safety for children - A guide for parents
Knowing my 8 rules for safety - A guide for children

To obtain these documents click on the link listed below you will find this identical article except at the end you will be able to download the files.

Crime Prevention Article

Scott Shaper is a former police officer with over 14 years law enforcement exprience. He is also the author of the popular book Crime Awareness 101. If you would like more information about his book or read more of his crime prevention articles, click the following link Crime Prevention Information

Adoption Still An Option For Teen Pregnancy

Writen by Jonni Good

Although the decision to give up a child is always heart-wrenching, it can be a "win-win" solution to two painful problems. Adoption is a legal process that gives adoptive parents rights and aresponsibilities and the adoptive child social, legal and emotional rights as a family member.

Putting a child up for adoption allows the child's birth mother to continue with schooling or career, and she has a chance to create a stable home life before taking on the responsibility of motherhood.

More and more adoptions are including the birth mother as a permanent part of the child's future, which makes the decision easier for the biological parents, but may make it more difficult for the adopting parents.

Of the approximately 120,000 children that are adopted by U.S. citizens every year, about half are adopted by people who are not related to the child. The other half re by grandparents, step parents, or other family members.

Both biological and adoptive parents should carefully consider the decision. If you are thinking that adoption may be the best solution for your baby, you should decide how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child in the future. If you would like to stay connected, find an adoption agency that specializes in open adoptions. Find out from the agency or attorney if you will be able to choose your baby's new parents, or determine their race, age or economic status.

If you want to adopt a child, you will also need to make many difficult decisions, and take a good look at your own situation and expectations. Can you afford a child with special needs, for instance, or would you be comfortable adopting an older child from the foster care system? Some prospective parents believe an older child would bring joy to their home, but others have carefully looked at their feelings, and know they could only bond with an infant.

Parenting does require financial security and a safe, stable home. However, a child doesn't need "perfect" parents and adoption agencies don't make unreasonable requirements. You will not be automatically disqualified if you are single, divorced, parenting other children, or because you have a disability. Some adoption agencies will consider working with gay and lesbian families. You do not need to own your own home or be wealthy or highly educated.

You do need to have tons of love available. A half-ton of patience would help, too.

If you are trying to adopt an infant, especially a Caucasian infant, you may find additional restrictions because of such a high demand. If you are interested in adopting a Native American child and are not yourself a Native American, you may be disqualified. Some agencies encourage cross-race adoptions, while others do not.

Adoption agencies are located in almost every city, and some attorneys specialize in adoption law. Referrals are recommended.

Both biological and adopting parents should carefully research the adoption process before contacting an agency or an attorney. The more you know about how adoptions work, the more sure you can be of having your needs met.

Both biological and adopting parents should also consider finding a support group, so you'll have others in your situation to talk to. This is one of the biggest decisions in your life, and it's common to have no family members or friends who have ever made this decision. It helps relieve the stress if you join a group of people who understand exactly what you're going through.

If you're a teen mother, or if your pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned, adoption agencies will have many prospective parents on their waiting lists. The waiting time for adopting parents is likely to be much. Since many unwed mothers are now choosing to terminate their pregnancy or to keep the child, prospective adoptive parents can expect to wait up to two to three years.

Biological parents will probably have their medical costs paid by the adoption agency. Adopting parents may find programs that help cover the expense of adoption. The Federal Adoption Tax Credit was $10,630 in 2005. Some employers are also offering financial assistance to adopting parents. Employers may offer loans, family leave, and health benefits.

Jonni Good is the publisher of 1 Teen Pregnancy.com where she provides more information on common pregnancy questions from teens, the early symptoms of pregnancy, and pregnancy nutrition. Visit her website at www.1teenpregnancy.com

Our Children And The Runaway Train

Writen by J.A. Elliott

Michael Holiday, the 1950's crooner sang about "The Runaway Train" and how it went rolling down the track when it "Blew". Today the runaway train of children the world over, are very much akin to the old steam train of yesteryear, as they blow their cool and head off down those symbolistic tracks, looking for the better life they believe lies, just over the horizon.

As parents we all stand in dread of this happening to our own offspring in the prime of their young lives, thinking its simply an attitude thing, and that almost all teenagers go through this period at some stage in their development. But all too often we are looking at it all from a totally wrong and supposedly grown up perspective. Yes when this happens and our children take to the streets, or simply run away and disappear from, what we believe to be the comforts of their own homes, we are totally gutted. We see our pristine life shattered, as we feel the loss of our loved ones. Our hearts are truly broken and in some ways understandably so. But lets stand back for a while and view this from the runaway child's perception of the world around them to fully understand better the WHY this is so prevalent in most civilized societies today.

Children, especially teenagers and young adults, are under enormous pressure to do well at school, college and university. Their academic achievements are the centre of what parents believe to be "Good for them" and failure isn't an option. Study, study and more study is the order of the day, with real time out and prime family time missing from their daily routine. Parents become distant and suddenly unapproachable, and this often is portrayed to our teens as uncaring and unloving behaviour, where once, time was spent together through their younger years. Now parents are suddenly like strangers who only meet at the breakfast table battlefield arena, gone are the carefree happy days of their early childhood. This is just the tip of the iceberg we ourselves as parents have created, as we ourselves are guilty of spending far too many hours at the office and even less continuing to get to know the ever developing and changing adolescent. It's that, us and them attitude that denies our children the understanding they really need, at times when they are going through so much, when a simple cuddle, or "I'm so proud of you", yes the simple little things that really mean so much to our developing young. All to often we half abandon them within our homes to pursue our own activities, yet denying them theirs, as they become our glorified unpaid baby sitters as they look after younger siblings, then moan when they cannot cope through having no or hardly any social life of their own. Girls are maturing much younger today; their bodies and minds are undergoing changes that didn't develop until much later, a few years ago. They are growing into young adults with all the feelings and emotions that come with it. They find a real need for seeking out love and understanding, they first look to us parents, but we fail to see this need, blindly going about our own lives, without a second thought. We take it out on them for our own misfortunes, blaming them forever being born, the classic pitch that many a youngster has heard. Now come on, hold up your hand if any of you parents can relate to this in any way.

When was the last time you actually had an intelligent conversation with your teenager without your differences of opinion turning into world war three because you failed to relate or understand the point they were making. These adolescent youngsters are often on the verge of abuse without realising it. And many a parent is so guilty of being abusive through lack of understanding, or simply not being able to cope themselves with what life throws at them. What roll models do you think we make when our own lives are so very complex and often we as parents and partners need tranquillisers and alcohol to simply cope with getting up in the morning. Yet our teenagers are expected to be able to cope with their own personal stresses and trauma's without these aids, and on top of that we give them no real support, love or loyalty.

Our children are crying out for help and unless we listen to their needs and act upon them, then more and more we are going to find them boarding and becoming that Runaway Train to break their own chains of their perceived oppression, leaving behind a trail of tears in their wake, as the guilt ridden parents sit and wonder WHY, yet still not having a single clue as to the real reason their son's and daughters ran away from home in the first place. Lack of communication between teenager and parents is the route cause, plus the parents failing to realize their babies are no longer children, but are young adults with their own lives to live. They need to learn from their own mistakes, and create foundations of their own. They want to experience this togetherness, and closeness to others that adults call love. They need a little independence and gentle guidance. These young adults may still need protecting, as they are going to be quite vulnerable, yet this protection should never overwhelm their own sense of self worth. However most of all they need to be heard by you, and you as a parent are indeed their roll model be it good or bad, and if you want your children to grow up and have a better life than you, then its you that must change to give it to them and not be a constant reminder of your own past mistakes, after all no child ever asked to be brought into this world, this was a decision you made when you yourself was an adolescent fumbling in the dark without a manual. So remember you too were young and rebellious in your own individual way, and no doubt your own parents found it hard to communicate and cope with you.

By John Elliott Aka Oaky Wood©2006

John Elliott Aka Oaky Wood is currently the Co-Founder of "The Corner 4 Women©2006" http://thecorner4women.com is a Poet, writer, artist, webmaster and designer. He is also the owner of the Oakwood Grafix©2005 Group of websites http://www.oakwoodgrafix.co.uk/ This article may be reproduced provided it is unedited in any way with all links intact, and the copyright is retained by its original author above.

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Writen by Dr. Charles Sophy

Every year over one million parents have to talk to their kids about divorce. For each parent, the discussions differ, but the goals of the discussions are universal: to openly and honestly reassure your child of your love.

Divorce is painful and traumatic for all involved – spouses and children alike. We all happily begin our lives together full of shared hopes and dreams and committed to a lasting and loving relationship. Yet almost 50 % of today's marriages end in divorce. How parents handle divorce, however, makes the difference in their children's healthy adjustment or potential maladjustment.

Here's an example of how to begin talking to your child about your divorce.

Let's meet Brad: Brad is 9 years old and an only child. He's the apple of his mother's eye and dad's best buddy. Brad is at the top of his class in school and participates in the school band and in the spelling bee. He's also an active athlete – playing intramural hockey and soccer, and running competitively. Both of his parents attend all of his sports and school activities.

One day to his surprise Dad takes him out after a soccer game and tells him "I have something sad to tell you. Mom and I are having a hard time, and you may have noticed something wasn't right between us, and you are right. We're going to live in different houses and you'll be spending some of the week with me and some with your Mom. I know this will be difficult for all of us. So we should talk about it openly together and about what we're both feeling." Discussing divorce with your children is never easy. Here are some tips to help ease this transition.

1. Communicate with your spouse (partner): Although things have not worked out in the marriage, the two of you still have children to raise together. Be sure you both are in agreement as to the timeline of the change and give your children clear dates and details. The more solid the plan, the less anxiety your child will experience.

2. Use age appropriate language and details: A five-year-old and ten-year-old understand very different things and have different levels of maturity. Follow their questioning before offering details. Be honest, but remember what is appropriate for the age of the child or they will not comprehend the situation.

3. Reassurance: Reassure them that they will continue to be loved and cared for by the two of you. Let your children know that your love for one another has changed, but that your love for them remains strong and constant. Reiterate that the divorce is not their fault.

4. Discretion: Make an agreement with your spouse to not speak badly about the other spouse to the children. Refrain from arguing in front of the children and do your best to keep them out of your conflict!

5. Know yourself: Be aware of your own feelings of hurt or anger. Do not make a child a confidant for the pain the divorce is causing you. Seek a support group to help you through this period. Share your feelings with friends and professionals. Children are not therapists!

Always remember: Strive to be communicative and honest during and after the divorce process because there will be different degrees of feelings over the event as time goes on. If you're communicating honestly, however, you can never hurt your child.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.

Money Management Skills For Kids

Writen by Dawn Goldberg

I have a confession to make. I had no money skills growing up whatsoever. My parents lived paycheck to paycheck, and my mother frequently agonized over how to buy groceries for the week.

Because of our financial situation, there was rarely money for "extras" - going bowling, vacations, toys, books. Heck, we barely had money for necessities like clothes. When I was fifteen and old enough to work, I became responsible for buying my own clothes. As a teenager (and, don't forget - a girl!), I spent my money on outer clothes: shirts, pants, and the like. Underwear? Heck no! I wasn't going to spend my money on such a frivolous item as underwear.

As an adult now, I realize that not only did I not learn the money management skills I needed, but also that I learned some things I shouldn't have. Things like underwear aren't important. To this day I still have a hard time spending money on underwear and bras (although I recently bought three bras! Yea me! However, I have to admit that I still didn't like spending $40 apiece on them).

My mother shouldn't have shared quite so much with me; I grew up afraid to ask for anything that might involve money. It affected me in several ways, the most significant being that I only applied to two colleges. Since I had to pay the application fees myself (and working at a drugstore didn't give a teenager THAT much disposable income), I had a limited budget.

This article isn't supposed to make you feel sorry for me (I'm very happy where I am today - even with old, ratty bras), but to drive home how important it is to teach our children good money management skills.

Two years ago we implemented an allowance system for our girls. Once a week they get the dollar equivalent to 1/2 their age, and that amount is divided as follows:

- 20% to the charity of their choice

- 40% to savings

- 40% to disposable income.

Charity - Every six months, the girls pick a charity, and they decorate a jar with a picture of the particular charity. Each week, the charity money goes Plop! into the jar. So far we've donated to the National Zoo (pandas for six months and fishing cats for another six months), the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation, and Red Cross (for Hurricane Katrina relief). Picking the charity allows them to really think about the particular organization and their needs, and sometimes they'll donate extra money to the charity. And we match the donations as well.

Savings - We tell the girls that savings (essentially their piggy banks) are for long-term, big, important goals. I imagine this to be used for things like a school trip to Europe, down payment on a first car or house, or extra money for college. After six months, we count the money and then take it to the bank to deposit in their very own accounts.

Disposable income - This is for the girls to spend as they will. The first time they got allowance they spent it all on toy machines, and I had to almost physically hold my husband back as he tried to stop them. I wanted them to see what happened when they spent all their money, and feel what it was like when it was GONE! They've since graduated from that impulse to spend, spend, spend, and now they very consciously and determinedly save their disposable income for bigger things (like Barbie dolls or the current favorite, Sweet Streets. Yes, I have girls!).

We've found that the girls already have a strong understanding of money, from basic math (how many dimes are in a dollar) to the more complicated concept of interest (we go over their bank statements for their savings accounts together).

I'm happy to know that we're establishing a strong foundation for their money intelligence, and that they'll never shy away from buying underwear.

About The Author
Dawn Goldberg is a Certified Virtual Assistant, COO of Assist University, mother, community leader, and former teacher. Her vision is to create a resource that helps parents find ways to enjoy valuable, constructive time with their children every day. Contact her at or visit www.afterschoolsnacks.com. Copyright 2005 Dawn Goldberg. You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the "about the author" information).

Parental Control For Child Obesity

Writen by Michael Russell

Obesity is a problem that has almost become endemic in the civilized world. Despite the numerous biological and psychological effects of obesity on adults, it tends to have a far worse impact on children; the reason being that children, especially teenagers are, in most cases, not prepared, emotionally, for the psychological effects of obesity.

However, parents and guardians seem not to be doing enough to prevent obesity in children. Forget all the stories about those weight loss diets or medication, children need more than that. They need a weight gain prevention diet, and far more importantly, they need weight gain prevention habits and attitudes, and this is exactly where parental control comes in.

Objectively, though, some things are actually outside our human control. Obese parents tend to have obese children. This can be explained in terms of genetics and heredity and this is way beyond what we can control as humans. However, beside the genetic input, obese parents, in most cases, pass down their unhealthy habits to their children. The closer children are to their parents, the greater the tendency of internalizing and imbibing the habits, norms and beliefs of the parents. Thus, obese parents need to be extra careful not to 'force' unhealthy habits on their children.

Food is one important aspect of living, and this is especially true for children. We all enjoy eating, especially when the food happens to be delicious. The urge to overeat is normally great in children. Thus, any diet that deprives children of the joy of eating is more likely to fail. Parents need to teach their children to eat just enough for satisfaction. An important way of doing this is to teach them to eat slowly, right from their very early years. Biologically, it is explained that it takes about 20mins for the stomach to signal the brain that is it full, from the time food first enters the mouth. By eating slowly, children will eat just enough for satisfaction within this time.

Besides not overeating, another issue is the type of food children consume. Poor eating habits in children is almost a norm and this is the within the realm of parental control. When it comes to healthy eating habits, parents need to implement healthy diets at home; diets rich in vegetables, fruits and whole grains. The type of food you prepare at home determines, to a large extent, what a child takes to be healthy or unhealthy. Children normally get used to food they eat during their growing up years and tend to stick to this eating habit for a long time. Parents can make their children grow up with the right eating habits by making it especially enjoyable by preparing food together and eating together as family.

Although, food and how we eat it affects obesity to a large extent, physical activity and exercise also play a major role in obesity. The children of nowadays belong to the digital generation. There are countless items from computers to video games, which encourage sedentary and inactive lifestyles. Almost every child will prefer to be curled up playing one computer game or the other rather than running a corner in the name of exercise. Parents should be able to encourage their children to be more active. You can make them share their free time between those exciting video games and probably an evening walk round the neighborhood. As parents, you can create a healthier lifestyle for your children by doing regular exercises, like biking, swimming, walking etc, together with them. This way, you make them enjoy exercising and they are more likely to stick to this habit in later years.

Obesity causes far worse depression and other psychological problems in teenagers that in adults, you would be doing a good job, as a parent if you diligently help your child avoid obesity. They deserve your best.

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Michael Russell
Your Independent guide to Parental Control
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Removing The Step Out Of Fathering Your Wifes Children Part Ii

Writen by Mark Davis

Recently, a friend approached me about "Removing the 'Step'..." Part I, with a few choice words of criticism. She said that she enjoyed the article, but there were a few issues in which she took offense. Normally I would have told a critic that opinions are like socks, everybody has so many of them that they seem to get lost in the shuffle of life. But since the friend was my pastor's wife, I thought that maybe I should find a good match for this instance. And because this particular publication prefers to publish articles that are around 700 words or so, I'll discuss each of the two issues in a series: Part II and Part III.

To give you some background, "Removing the 'Step' Out of Fathering Your Wife's Children" (Part I) was an honest account of a father loving his wife's children like they were his own. And that father is me. If you don't have time to go back and read the article, it's okay. There's no real science to it. Just treat your new children like they are your own, and you'll be fine.

The response that I received from people reading Part I revealed to me that there are a lot of people out there who are interested in the issue of mixed families. We all watched it on the Brady Bunch years ago, and it seemed so natural. However, the first lady of my church had an objection to that notion. She said to me, "Mark, what if your wife's children were 'problem' children? You said that you wouldn't have made it down the aisle if that were so. You're going to turn away those guys who are dating women with not-so-perfect children."

Here's where my expertise lies. Though I don't have any statistics to share with you in this article, I can say that I've worked with children in a professional setting since my junior year of college. And from 1992 until now, I've understood this one fact: all children can have behavioral problems. Some of the best-behaved children in school turn into demons when their parents are near. And some of the worst behaved children act like saints when their parents arrive.

The point of what I'm saying is this: you'll know it if the family fits you. Just like you were attracted to an imperfect woman, if you're wife has children, they'll be imperfect too. Men who know what they want refuse to date or marry a woman who doesn't have a particular physical feature that they enjoy, like a big butt, long legs, flat stomach, etc. The feature varies among individuals, but most men have at least one that they are passionate about. You might recall this example in the movie Boomerang, where Eddie Murphy's character was particularly strict in his standard for his woman's toes. The same way that you have standards about this feature, know your standards when it comes to children.

After my wife and I started dating seriously for a few months, she asked me to baby sit for her one night so that she could hang out with her girls. I wanted to say "No", but I thought, "I better start getting used to this if Donna and I are going to get married eventually." I showed up early to watch her interaction with the children before she left and I thought,"This is going to be a piece of cake." Until she left. When sweet little Josie saw that the Rule-Giver had skirted away in a cherry-red Cherokee, her face displayed the most evil smirk that I've seen since Chucky. I thought,"Uh-oh". Her brother Evens kept her busy for a little while, but after she got bored, Josie decided to go after her mother's latest suitor. And after testing my limits, she finally found them. I verbally corrected her with a stern and serious voice and facial expression, and she broke down with a low blow, "I want my daaaaaaddddddddyyyy." I had no defense for that one.

Months later, after I had proposed to Donna, my mother shared her concerns about me fathering two children that weren't mine. She was especially uneasy about how I could handle a sassy little four-going-on-twenty-one-year-old girl who wasn't mine. I eased her concerns when I told my mom, "Josie is mine. She might be more than a handful to someone else, but she fits me." And I believe that. Josie still has to be put in her place from time-to-time, but overall, she is the best daughter that a father can have. And Evens is the best son.

I believe that there is a woman for every man on the earth. Some of these women have had children before the right man has found them. Their children need to be raised by the right man. You just have to know that you're the right sock-I mean, man-for the job.

Mark S. Davis is a high school english teacher, composer, and freelance writer who lives in Baltimore, Maryland with his wife, Donna and two children, Evens and Josie.

Help Keep Your Child Safe With Quoted The Elephantquot Safety Stickers

Writen by Gregg Hall

For those who are unfamiliar with ChildGuard America, here is a little information. ChildGuard America opened their doors in 2001. The founders were horrified with the numbers of children missing every year, so they came up with a plan to educate children and their parents about stranger danger. Their books and identification programs have won acclaim from children, parents, and teachers combined. With offices in both Maryland and Arkansas, the organization does an outstanding job at covering both sides of the country.

Now, let's discuss a great tool in teaching a child about stranger danger. If you have never heard of Ed The Elephant, he is a catchy character from ChildGuard America. Ed appears in stranger safety themed coloring books from Dalmatian Press. He has become somewhat of an icon in many homes. Ed The Elephant stands for one thing and one thing alone, and that is keeping children safe.

Ed The Elephant promotes safety to children throughout the United States. In 2004, Walmart teamed up with Ed The Elephant and began retailing coloring books and safety stickers in more than one thousand stores. Check with your retailer to see if they carry the popular coloring book, if not it is available online.

Walmart is a strong supporter of missing children organizations, so their participation in this program is not surprising to many. Walk out of any Walmart store and there are boards covered in missing children posters. It may seem normal that they would promote this activity book, but it is truly extraordinary that they are the leading retail store offering to sell this book in many of their locations. Walmart's dedication to keeping children safe is truly amazing.

Utilizing this unforgettable character, ChildGuard America is able to reach children of all ages. The children adore their Ed The Elephant Child Safety Sticker Activity Coloring book. The book is packed with coloring pages, mazes, word finds, dot to dots, sticker pages, and an array of other fun activities that will keep children busy for hours. Even better, the children learn important lessons about stranger danger, walking alone, and learning to get out troublesome situations.

This activity book not only contains strong messages regarding stranger danger, it also contains tips for parents. It is an excellent book to read together. It is simple to use the book for education of any child while reinforcing the messages within by coming up with safety plans with your child.

With hundreds of kids disappearing every week, Ed The Elephant can be an exceptional tool in keeping your child safe. The activity book costs a minimal amount, so you should not overlook this valuable tool. After all, you cannot set a price on your child's safety.

Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Beach, Florida. Find more about this as well as a custom stickers at http://www.shop4stickers.com

Crazy Colors Fun Kid Experiment As A Party Activity

Writen by Anne-Marie Killer

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for your next kid birthday party.

This activity, which is strictly speaking a kid science experiment, can be used in any party as entertainment. Even better: have a "Mad Chemist" theme and use this idea as one of the kid experiments.

Fill a plate or saucer with milk and put in a few drops of food coloring on top of the milk in different spots. The smaller the drops the better.

Use a spoon to pour a small amount of dishwashing liquid into the milk. Pouring it into the center works best.

Now watch the colors dance and explode.

This might sound very simple to you, but I've done this a few times with kids aged 6 - 10 and was amazed at how much pleasure this gave them! Let them each do their own - provide different colors and encourage them to try out different things. You will be amazed at the beautiful patterns they manage to create. Allow them to repeat the process a few times. They'll get the hang of it after one or two tries. If the kids are too small to do it themselves, you can do it as a demonstration. Or, why not just let them bring old clothes with, put down lots of old newspapers and allow them to make a big mess. They will love you for it!

Explanation: Water has a "skin" called surface tension. This is a force on the surface of water which pulls it inwards. Soap or dishwashing liquid breaks down the surface tension and stops the skin from forming. This stops water sticking together in drops and so it flows more easily into all the places where dirt collects.

Anne-Marie Killer is a mother of two teenagers and a toddler. She is the webmaster and owner of Perfect Party Ideas, Read her blog where she documents the process of setting up Perfect Party Ideas.

Why Did God Make People Different From Each Other

Writen by Carey Kinsolving

Rich vs. poor. Israeli vs. Palestinian. Girls vs. boys. Wouldn't the world run much more easily if people were alike?

Wrong, says Michael, age 7. God made us different from one another so "He wouldn't be bored." Or, to put it another way, "God likes to see different faces," says Kallan, 7.

"The world would be so plain if everyone was the same," says Amanda, 10. In fact, "it would be a world full of mirrors," where "Mom might take home the wrong kid," say Mallory, 11, and Ashley, 6.

Being different from each other is "like our ID" so "we won't get lost," say Alex, 8, and Kristin, 6.

OK, so God spared moms the confusion of trying to distinguish between identical kids, except in the case of twins. But what if we all wanted to do the same kind of work? "We have to have people who want to do all sorts of things and work at different jobs," says Leslie, 12. "Little odd jobs are very important."

Does that include emptying the trash and making your bed? If everyone were the same, "everyone would have the same habits, and it'd be miserable," says Alex, 10.

Can you imagine a world where everyone was a newspaper columnist? There would be no editors! As someone once said, editors have the important job of separating the wheat from the chaff and making sure the chaff gets printed.

God wanted variety, says Nicole, 9, "because it is much more funner this way, and God knows that." God wanted "to show His ability to be creative" by "making every color," say Andy, 12, and Perry, 10.

Perry, do you know what's around the throne of God? Check out Revelation 4 and 5, where the Apostle John describes Jesus Christ in heaven with "a rainbow around the throne." The redeemed ones before the throne are "out of every tribe and tongue and people and nation."

God loves variety. In fact, his glory is so great, he requires different expressions of praise. What kind of sound would an orchestra make if every member played a trumpet? To produce a beautiful, harmonious sound, individual orchestra members must unite their diverse talents and instruments under the direction of one skilled conductor.

Even though we are different, we can all be united if we follow the conductor. The love of God unites all Christians because it transcends national, cultural, economic and racial differences.

OK, so we're not united now. But we can be. How do we know? On the night before his crucifixion, Jesus prayed for the unity of future believers: "And the glory that You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in oneness, and that the world may know that you have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me" (John 17:22-23).

Why did God make us different? To unite us in a glorious symphony with His Son, who has always been in perfect harmony with His Father. For Jeremy, 11, God is the great conductor who "made us different so there would be different kinds of worship."

Let's pay attention to our conductor. God wants you to join in the heavenly rainbow.

Point to ponder: God makes us one in his Son.

Scriptures to remember: "For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body ... For in fact the body is not one member but many" (I Corinthians 12:13a and 14).

Question to consider: Is there something I need to change in my attitude or actions to experience the reality of being a unique person in the body of Christ unified by God's Spirit?

Carey Kinsolving is a syndicated columnist, producer, author, speaker and website developer. To see Carey's Kid TV Interviews and more, visit http://www.KidsTalkAboutGod.org/ The Kids Talk About God website contains free, online content for children and families. Print free lessons from the "Kids Color Me Bible" and make your own book. Watch for free the adventures of an 11-year-old girl traveling around the world, visiting missionaries in the Mission Explorers Streaming Video. Print Bible pictures drawn by kids that illustrate Scripture verses. Receive a complimentary, weekly e-mail subscription to our Devotional Bible Lessons. Bible quotations in this column are from the New King James Version. Copyright 2006 Carey Kinsolving

7 Steps Parents Can Take To Improve Communication With Their Children

Writen by Lisa Paisley-Cleveland

1. Remember that kids often do not talk about things to fit "your time to talk" schedule.
It is important to interact with your children in various ways. You may find that your children will talk about an incident in school that occurred several days or a month ago while helping you bake a cake, do laundry or on the way home from soccer or dance class.

2. When your child is sharing something important to them shut up and listen.
It is easy to turn off communication if you are always interrupting (even if you know where the story is going), or offering advice before he/she has completed their account of the details. You will get your turn.

3. Please do not give an hour long "good advice" lecture.
Children will tend not to share with you if they know that they will have to listen to a long, and for them, boring lecture on life's do's and don'ts. Be concise, relevant and respectful of what they have shared.

4. Punishment should fit the crime.
A sure way to discourage and even shut down communication is for a child to feel fearful that in their communication something will surface that may result in harsh punishment. Parents must be mindful that kids make mistakes and as parents we must be there to teach, to nurture, to protect, to guide and to love. Harsh punishment for small infractions inhibits communication and sends a confusing message about those in authority. Be thoughtful about discipline.

5. Be understanding of their "culture".
Sometimes we forget that we were children once; wearing weird looking clothes, listening to music our parents hated, and even creating a language just for our friends to understand. As parents we should always be clear about what is acceptable, but just stay mindful that "this too will pass". If our kids are feeling harshly judged this will have an impact on what they share.

6. Establish a routine that brings the family together at least once per week.
Some families can eat together nightly while others find that their work schedules make this impossible. Sitting down together, at the same table, for diner is a wonderful way to enjoy each other's company and talk about each other's day. Having prayer time is another. Think about putting into practice a family routine that fits your situation and stick with it!

7. The most important step parents can take to improve communication with their children is model positive communication.
Whether you are a married couple or single parent children will observe how you communicate with other adults. Communication is a learned behavior and it is important that you practice a positive style of communication for your children to emulate.

Lisa Paisley-Cleveland, LCSW, CEO Sharpervision Consultants, LLC is dedicated to helping adults improve skills for positive and healthy relationships at work and in their personal lives. http://www.just-between-us.net http://www.Atlastmatchmaking.com

Can Your Child Handle That Bully

Writen by Cheng Cheng Tan

Have you noticed if that your child have been giving excuses for not going to school?

I noticed that when my elder son, Zhi Yang, was three years old, he started giving excuses for not going to school. He claims that he wants to stay at home. When questioned why, he simply kept quiet.

It suddenly dawned on me that he could have some unpleasant experiences in school. I questioned him further and he claims that his classmate, Johnny, hit him using a ruler.

Immediately, I realised that I could have overlooked bullying in schools and decided to take some action so that my son will not be afraid to go to school.

I did not confront Johnny nor his parents as I did not witness the bullying incident myself. I did, however, alert the school teachers about it.

The Principal, Eileen, is a a very experienced and patient teacher. She listened to what I had to say and I asked her to take note of my son and Johnny. She assured me that she would look into the matter.

Few days later, Eileen pulled me aside to talk to me. She said she talked to the other teachers and students and found out that Johnny actually did hit my son with a ruler. She had already made Johnny apologize for it. I was relieved and thanked her for finding out the truth.

Bullying in school is quite common and parents need to equip children with the knowledge and know-how of how to deal with bullies.

A child who is being called a "Fat Whale" three times a day will definitely not grow up feeling very confident about herself. The child will have to carry this baggage for the rest of his or her life if parents do not notice and put a stop to it. Children can becomes very bitter in extreme cases and constantly think that they are useless.

Bullying can come in several forms like verbally calling names, fighting and bullies taking the victim's things without permission.

Parents have to take note of any changes in behaviour of a child. It could bruises, cuts or worse still blood dripping. Older kids may need more pocket money, more stationeries (e.g. pens, pencils) or could come home with dirty clothes more frequently. Children could be more withdrawn and do not want to talk as much. They fear that if they tell their parents, parents may think they are the ones who did the wrong thing first.

Here are some tips for parents and children regarding bullies:

- As mentioned above, getting the teachers and principal to help is one of the things parents can do.

- Do something different.
For example, if the bully constantly calls your child 'fat slob'. The time the bully comes near, get your child to say "I may be fat but you are ugly and that is worse. I can lose weight but you can NEVER change the way you look".

Role play with your child. Let your child be the bully, then the next time round let your child be the victim. Let him have a feel of how a bully think and so your child will not have to be afraid of the bully.

- Do not give the bully what he wants.
Why does the bully want to bully a child? The bully want the victim to cry and then everyone will laught at the victim.

With the support of parents, teach your child not to react to such nasty remarks. Instead, just stand up and walk off. Teach your child to learn to pretend as if he had not heard anything.

It will take some time before the bullies know that it is not fun anymore and they will stop. Parents and the child need to persist and win over the bully. You could teach your child about winning, persistance and even helping other children next time.

- Teach your child to make more friends.
A bully usually bully timid and lonely kids. Ask your child to have more friends around him and stand by him. If there are people in the group on the same side as your child, the bully is much less likely to take action. Remember unity is strength.

We learn that the child's social skills are very important and can help him in many more ways than one. A child with many friends never feels lonely or lost and if he needs help, he know who to ask. Of course, they have to be the right kind of friends too.

- Teach your child to be assertive.
Be firm and tell the bully the stop what he does or he will report it to the teacher. Let him practice by saying 'I do not like you to...................... Please stop now or I will let the teacher know.'

- Support your child.
Remember all the love and 'I love you' you have given to your child. Ensure him that you are always there for him and will always support him. Make him feel invincible and he can take on the world even if he is alone.

With all these, I am almost certain your child can face up to any bully and handle the bully. I strongly believe all kids are special and no one deserves to be bullied.

Cheng Cheng is an Asian mother(Singaporean) with two boys age about four and five. I have learnt a lot from them, other parents and books. I strongly believe that there must be a balance between love and discipline. Building confidence in a child is also important so that he can face the world without me one day. Find out more about how parenting can be fun and easy at http://www.raisingconfidentkids.com

The Power Of Reading

Writen by L.J. Davis

Reading to your child at a young age is one of the most effective tools for expanding his mind and instilling a lifelong love of learning. Reading a good book allows your child to travel to places she has never been, to meet people she has never met, and to develop an understanding of how to deal with a variety of physical and emotional situations.

Reading to your child also helps you develop an emotional connection. Whether you have her cuddle up in your lap, nestle with him while he is winding down for bed, or read to her while waiting for food in a restaurant, you are connecting. Reading to your child from an early age will also help him be successful in school. Reading out loud will help him learn language and become familiar with words. Reading is the foundation for developing an understanding of conceptual information and it sparks imagination!

Your child is never too young to be read to. Frankly, you should begin reading to your child while in the womb. During this time, use reading as a way of familiarizing the baby to your voice. If both parents take turns reading, it is even better. Imagine, before the baby is even born, the act of reading helps you connect and it can help parents reconnect with each other. When your child is born, the adventure begins. During the "easy" phase of infancy when your child is not physically able to explore his/her world, reading to your child helps him feel loved and comforted. Nestled in your arms with a favorite picture book, your baby will, at first, seem unaware of what is going on. But is she?

When my daughters were infants, I would read a series of picture books called the "Find The" board books by Stephen Cartwright. These books have lively illustrations, but no words. Guided by a series of images that included pictures of children and animals, each book asked children to find the piglet, the duck, the teddy, the puppy, the bird, or the kitten. When my daughters were very small, I would hold the book in front of them and while their heads wobbled about, I would ask, "Ceiley, where's the bird." Of course, there was no response, so I would point out where the bird was and, in doing so, I would describe the picture and put it into context. For several months, I would pull out the book and ask, "Where's the piglet!" One day, an interesting thing happened. When I asked the magical question, my daughter lifted a chubby finger and pointed to the piglet. Had she understood what I had been saying all along? I will probably never know but one thing is certain, before the age of one, she knew what a piglet was, what the word "find" meant, and she used her magnificent brain to tell her finger to point to the picture of the pig. All because I read a book. Her mind was indeed a blank slate upon which I could impress ideas and concepts.

Reading to your child should become second nature. Anytime, anywhere is an opportunity to read to your child. During the hectic toddler days, books can be lifesavers in public places. If you have to stand in line at a bank, take a book bag along filled with engaging books that your child enjoys. Before they get fussy, take out a book and start reading. Yes, it is very difficult to read to your child while you are holding him and standing up at the same time! Instead, put her in a stroller and bend down. As you read to your child, you are using your time preciously. By bending down, you are coming down to his level. By reading, you are expanding her knowledge and growing neurons. Make your waiting time, his reading time! Reading while waiting also works well if you have several children with you. Although my daughters are 11 and 6, my oldest daughter will still lean over and read along to the book I am reading to my youngest, despite carrying along her own stash of Harry Potter and Manga books. The key is that, by making reading part of your child's everyday experiences, she will come to expect that reading is the norm.

If you are not a reader and do not enjoy reading, you have a great obstacle to overcome. If you do not enjoy reading and/or you were not brought up with reading in the home, it will be doubly difficult for you to get in the habit of reading. Please, don't let this stop you! The exciting thing about being human is that you can change anytime. Start slowly. Find a topic that interests you and start reading. Buy a bookcase and make it a goal to slowly fill it up with children's books, classics, or whatever else suits your fancy.

Read to your child. Engage his imagination. Don't assume that children read at a certain age. There are so many things that you can do to prepare them for the day when they start to decipher letters and words on their own. Lay the foundation early in life and your child will reap wonderful rewards.

L.J. Davis is the author of A Simple Brown Leaf, a story for a new generation of children.

"Every child has a purpose. Every child asks the question, 'Who am I going to become.'"

Learn more at ljdavis.com

©2005 L.J. Davis

Mothers Day Mother And Wife

Writen by CD Mohatta

Mother's day is approaching soon -a day to celebrate the motherhood. It is a day to thank mothers for all that they sacrifice for their children. A mother practically gives away her hobbies, her interests and many times her job to raise her children. Nature makes a mother like that. She will protect her children against all the dangers and give them all the comfort that she can. How do women balance their role between being a mother and a wife? Can any man do that? It looks very difficult, rather impossible. Men will talk a lot, but when comes to do this fine balancing, not many will succeed at all.

How many men realize the work done by their wives? Rather they start feeling jealous that their wife is paying more attention to kids than them? It sounds ridiculous. Instead of making such complaints that are outrageous, men should make all attempts to help their wives and share as much burden as possible. A man who earns can say - I draw a paycheck of this much amount. What will a mother who works round the clock say about her paycheck? Her paycheck is the smile on face of her healthy children and satisfaction of her husband. No monetary value can be put on that.

A wife who is also a mother draws no contract with those she cares for. She makes no pre conditions. For a woman, who loves her husband, her man is very important and for a mother, her children are most important. Women bear many injustices. A lot of them work for years to only get a divorce at the end. To restart the life with kids must be a real tough job for a divorcee woman. Society that is male dominated should not only acknowledge their mothers, but also their wives. Women deserve much more recognition than they get.

CDMohatta writes text for free cardsincluding mothers day ecards and free birthday cards

Meta Patterns Amp Genius A Simple Game To Increase A Childs Intelligence

Writen by Silvia Hartmann

As a side effect in my life long study of human excellence, genius and creativity, I have discovered ONE particular thinking pattern that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in:

- understanding the world
- problem solving
- innovation and creativity
- and even inner harmony.

This is a meta filter which people LEARN, they are NOT born "that way", and it is a really profound one that makes the difference between a great thinker and someone who isn't, at the end of the day.

This filter is about whether a person sorts all manner of incoming information by difference, or by similarity.

Fascinatingly, across the board, children's games are games of "difference".

Spot the difference; Sesame Street's "One of these things just doesn't belong here ..."; and many, MANY other strategies across the board and all the educational modalities reward this "sorting by differences".

The side effect of sorting by difference is to compartmentalise the world into ever smaller blocks of detail; this leads directly, and I mean directly, in completely logical cause and effect fashion to losing the ability to "see the big picture".

In neuro-linguistic terms, the movement from a normal sized picture into more and more detail is called "chunking down".

This is when we stop looking at the car, and instead focus on a single wheel, and then the hub of a single wheel, and the the screw with the hub, and then a single turn of the screw, and deeper and deeper into the details of the thing, until we're in quarks and neutrons territory and no-one knows or cares that we ever started with a bright red motor car.

Now, there is nothing wrong per se with "chunking down" into details of a thing; where it becomes immensely DANGEROUS for a person, and for many people in their collective societies, is when EVERYBODY thinks like that - apart from a few "visionaries" that is, of course, who will become the leaders.

Aha!

A general MUST be able to see the bigger picture; a king must; an industry leader; ANY leader MUST have the magical ability to zoom out and perceive huge arrays of objects IN PERSPECTIVE in order to discover the meta patterns that make up the WHOLE situation.

In the education systems the world over, children are not raised and trained to become LEADERS. That explains why the "downchunk movement" into detail is being taught and fostered at every turn; people who are only comfortable with "small chunk thinking" and will turn immediately to chunking down EVEN FURTHER in moments of crisis, because that movement is THE ONLY movement they know and are familiar with, make great soldiers, factory workers, low level clerics - great ants, in other words.

But the fact is that to "think in the opposite direction", to zoom out to see the bigger picture, is a simple as a child's game - we just need to reverse it.

Instead of playing endless versions of, "What's the difference?" we start asking instead, "What's the SAME?"

It is then the meta patterns become revealed and the MOVEMENT OUT towards the "bigger picture" begins to occur naturally.

This is such a simple, and yet such an INCREDIBLE thing.

Consider this.

We may ask, "What's THE SAME about a black boy, and a white boy?" and the answer is ready and clear - "They're both boys!"

We may ask, "What's the SAME about a little boy and a little girl?" and we may receive the answer, "They're both human beings."

EVERY person needs to be able to ZOOM BOTH WAYS - into the details, and out to biggest possible picture, and back again.

EVERY person CAN do that - it is just a question of encouraging the neglected and secret "bigger picture" movement from an early age, and THAT in itself is as simple as to say to a child, "What's THE SAME about your teddy and your doll?"

For any adult who seeks to really re-connect to their own creativity and POWER TO DETECT THE META PATTERNS of our lives and our environments, it is the same game.

"What's THE SAME about the last five movies you've watched? What's THE SAME about the last 15 successful advertising campaigns the competitors ran? What's THE SAME about me and other people?"

There is a structural re-connection that is astonishing which occurs so naturally as a by product of asking that simple question, which is indeed profound, and profoundly healing.

I do believe that the answers lie in the meta patterns, and in our ability to PERCEIVE THEM CLEARLY.

If we get, as individuals AND as societies, those meta patterns right, then the details will NATURALLY take care of themselves - that's the way it works.

"They" say that the devil lies in the detail - it could well be so that salvation can be found indeed, in all of us starting to pay much more attention to "the bigger picture".

Dr Silvia Hartmann is the author of "Project Sanctuary", the original quantum thinking training manual. For more articles, free ebook downloads, free meditation mp3s and further information, please visit http://SilviaHartmann.com