Quotdangers On The Internetquot Is The Internet The Problem Or Is It Parenting

Writen by Aldene Fredenburg

Much is made on television and in the print media lately about the dangers of the Internet to children and young teens. From sexual predators to websites advocating anorexia to readily available bomb-making instructions, the Internet seems to be this big scary monster ready to gobble up our young.

Of course predatory adults shouldn't be soliciting children over the Internet, and these individuals need to be apprehended and prosecuted. But when I hear of some of the problems kids are getting into these days, be it regarding their use of the Internet or other youthful behaviors, one thought comes repeatedly to mind:

I don't remember being quite that stupid when I was that age!

Despite what experts are saying about the development of the brain among children and teenagers, I seem to remember knowing at a very young age that I shouldn't allow strangers to spirit me away; that if I rode a bicycle off the roof of my house the result was going to hurt; that if I set myself on fire I would get burned. If someone had suggested to me that I strangle myself to get a "rush" when I woke up, or that I inhale the contents of an aerosol can because it would make me feel good, I would've thought that person was an idiot.

So what is going on that children and teenagers are so willing to try really stupid stunts, that they're so naïve, so willing to expose themselves to things that clearly aren't in their best interests? Yes, it probably has something to do with the easy access to information and contacts of all kinds on the Internet, as well as the constant barrage of unedited and uncensored information pouring out of TV sets; but the real problem may be that parents, for whatever reason, aren't present in their children's lives in any real sense.

Kids don't seem to be developing a core of common sense that they can rely on to make decisions, and I can't help thinking it's got something to do with the parent-child relationship. Whether parents are working too hard, or caught up in other activities, or just unwilling to play a dominant authoritarian role in their children's lives, there's something amiss when a twelve- or thirteen-year-old hasn't yet developed the discernment to avoid some of these dangerous behaviors.

While we do have to monitor what children and teenagers are exposed to on the Internet and on TV, maybe the more important issue is to figure out what kids are really learning from their parents, and if the answer is "not much," that's what we really need to address.

Aldene Fredenburg is a freelance writer living in southwestern New Hampshire. She has written numerous articles for local and regional newspapers and for a number of Internet websites, including Tips and Topics. She expresses her opinions periodically on her blog, http://beyondagendas.blogspot.com She may be reached at amfredenburg@yahoo.com