Family Meetings 101

Writen by Deborah Shelton

Family meetings provide opportunities for feelings to be aired and validated. They also allow younger children to feel they are an important part of the decision-making process when it comes to family vacations and other major and minor family functions.

Before the first meeting commences, set a few ground rules such as:

• Speak in a calm tone.

• Avoid name-calling, finger-pointing, and sarcasm.

• Turn off the TV, radio and telephones.

• Allow each person to voice his or her concerns and ideas.

• Listen to all opinions before making a decision.

• If a person voices a complaint, they must also bring to the table at least one possible remedy to the situation.

Locations for future family meetings may also be brainstormed at the first meeting. Here are a few examples:

• Circle Time

  Very simply, sit on the floor together, in a circle. Designate an object as a "talking token". This can be a small stuffed animal, a necklace to be worn, a hat, or any other item that will be passed around. Whoever holds the talking token may speak. Once they are finished, they must pass the token to the next person.

• Restaurant Rendezvous

  Take turns choosing a favorite restaurant to host your family meetings. For this option, choose an afternoon or evening in the middle of the week, or at off-peak times, to avoid heavy crowds. End the meeting before dessert arrives, so everyone can indulge their sweet tooth happily.

• Hobby Haven

  I know of several families who hold their meetings at places that cater to their favorite hobbies. For instance, one family conducts their meeting at a bowling alley. Once the meeting is over, they enjoy bowling together. Another family combines their gathering with their love of books, by meeting at a café in their favorite bookstore. And yet another family I know holds their weekly meeting after a joyful round of put-put golf. This option combines family communication and fun.

However, and wherever, your family decides to host the meetings, remember this all-important point: Always end each meeting with a hug!

About The Author

Deborah Shelton is a mother, freelance writer, and author of the brand new book, "The Five Minute Parent: Fun & Fast Activities for You and Your Little Ones." Visit Deborah's website for more family-friendly ideas: http://www.fiveminuteparent.com; deborah@fiveminuteparent.com

An Effective Discipline Method

Writen by Morgan Hamilton

When discussing how to discipline children, there are many theories. Discipline for children can be a difficult subject, and opinions vary across several lines of reasoning. Parents can find themselves frustrated from yelling, repeating themselves, and fighting with their children to get them to follow instructions or behave appropriately. In spite of all these differences, there are most definitely some effective techniques that can be deployed in terms of finding a discipline method that works. While no technique is the answer in itself, successful discipline can be achieved by combining several methods that work for your own family. One method of discipline is called 1-2-3 magic. It is an effective way to set boundaries, yet at the same time the child feels as though they have a say in what is going on. The method also works quite well for teachers in a classroom setting too.

This is how the discipline method works:

One direction or instructions are given to the child by the parent, and the child fails to follow the instructions, the parent simply tells the child, "That's one. Three will result in a time-out", or some other form of punitive action can be taken depending upon the seriousness of the offense. This in empowers the the child to take responsibility for his or herself by acting in a desirable manner or suffer the consequences.

If he still refuses to follow the instruction, the parent follows up by saying, "That's two." At this point it would probably be a good idea to once again repeat the previous directions. If the child stops the inappropriate behavior and follows the instruction, then the problem has been solved. If the child still refuses to follow instructions than the parents simply states "That's three," and follows with the consequence stated at the start of the counting.

Please note that this method should not be used in the case of a child hitting or otherwise hurting another person, or if the child says something totally inappropriate that needs to be stopped immediately. In those cases, a consequence needs to happen immediately, as if the child has gone straight to "three."

It is also important to point out that you must follow through on the consequence of the action otherwise this discipline method will be rendered ineffective. In other words, the kid will call your bluff.

This discipline method can most helpful for parents or adults who are tired of repeating themselves and yelling to get a child to follow directions. Simply counting can replace yelling.

The appropriate consequence should be dictated by the child's age. It can mean forfeiting their allowance, losing television privileges, extra chores, early bedtime, or grounding, to name a few. The more matter-of-fact and unemotional the parent can be when administering the consequence, and even when doing the counting itself, the more the discipline method can be effective.

Reacting emotionally to a child's behavior can signify weakness and dilute the message and thereby undermined the lesson. If the parent stays calm, the child loses that feeling of power over the parent's emotional state. There will be little or no attempts at manipulation.

Meeting on discipline can be a rather difficult and delicate function. This 1-2-3 method can be a tool for establishing authority in a way that preserves the adult's dignity and emotional state, and reduce frustration for all involved. I would suggest looking at your local bookstore or on the Internet for the book "1-2-3 Magic" for more information.

Morgan Hamilton offers his findings and insights regarding family. You can get interesting and informative information here at Discipline Method

10 Steps To A Happy Family

Writen by Steve Farmer

1. Focus on outcomes not problems

Each member of the family needs to understand and communicate what their desired outcome is in any situation. In this way every part of your family team can move toward that objective rather than focus on the reasons why it can not happen.

2. Focus on feedback not failure

When sharing negative information always deliver it in a constructive way. Share how things could be better not how they went wrong.

3. Focus on Possibilities – Possibilities are endless

Keep your family looking to the future and not to the past. The future is yet to happen so you have the chance to change it. The past can only be remembered and learned from.

4. Understand roles

Clearly communicate that every part of the family has a role to play. Remember that the roles can and will change. Admit as a parent you don't know it all (at least to yourself). Define your own weakness and supplement them with the help of others.

5. Delegate

Letting go of the belief that the parent must always be the leader is very difficult but must be done. It is important for you as a parent and your children that you recognize that Kids can do stuff. Hand in hand with this you must also learn to "Be there when you are there". Too often adults are physically present but disengaged in their children's activities.

6. Be positive

Set positive goals that the family believes are achievable and worthwhile. It is much easier to move toward something then it is to move away from something. Frequently smile, laugh at yourself, and play with kids and adults just for the joy of it

7. Have clear visions

What do you as a family stand for? What does it mean to be part of the family? Clarify expectations so everyone understands and buys in to them. Be clear on what you need to happen not what you want to happen. When is good enough, enough and when is perfection required?

8. Continue to learn and grow

Things change so change with them. The world is not he same as it was last year or five years ago or ten. So why do your actions and responses have to be the same. People grow and change that is the miracle of our lives. The relationship you have and the role you played in the life of your 2 year old son is different when he is 12 and 20. Anticipate problems that will happen as your family grows and changes and plan your response.

9. Recognize people don't function in a vacuum Communicate - Communicate

Share your ideas from your head and heart. It is just as important for the family to understand each others motivations and intentions. Listen 2 times as much as you talk that's why god gave you 2 ears and only 1 mouth.

10. Go after what you want - ACT

Action is better then inaction. Model this behavior and the rest of the family will do the same. Never forget COURAGE is taking action in spite of fear not being fearless.

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Steve Farmer is a leader in the field of Parent Coaching. As a skilled professional coach, he brings the power of individual coaching to family living. In our frequently over stressed and under involved society, he empowers parents to raise confident, self-reliant, and happy children.

A devoted parent himself, Steve understands the many demands and challenges facing today's parent. He also knows that amidst the chaos, parents sometimes need support in maintaining both their sanity and a balanced life. Steve helps parents find solutions to their parenting problems.

Steve can be reached at his website www.innovations4life.com