Boys Dont Read Its True

Writen by David Skuy

I grew up reading sports stories and playing hockey. So what better subject matter for my first foray into the children's lit genre? "Good luck selling it," a publisher told me when I showed him the manuscript. "Boys don't read."

Boys don't read? That was the first I'd heard of it, and I have a five-year old son. I began to research the subject - and sure enough, I found out he was absolutely right. Once boys hit eight or nine years old, they stop reading.

Entire forests have been sacrificed in a bewildering array of reports on the subject. Educators tell us that boys are dropping out of arts courses as soon as they can. In testing of primary school children, girls consistently outperform boys in reading and writing tests by a wide margin. This is consistent with international results: The same finding was reached in a recent study of 36 countries. Business leaders are beginning to take notice, complaining that recent university graduates often lack basic literacy skills. Some 50 percent of all high school aged boys consider themselves non-readers!

These same studies make it clear, if it was not already, that reading is an essential life skill. In a 2004 Canadian government report, reading is described as "the search for deeper meaning" that enables children "to refine, extend, and reflect on their thinking" and will "result in high levels of learning." Boys who read often get higher grades in school, and they are less anxious about schoolwork. And perhaps most significant of all, boys who read turn into men who read.

Most literacy experts have zeroed in on one culprit: technology. There is too much television, MSN, computers, video games, the Internet, Gameboy, and ipod. These mediums are winning the battle for the hearts, eyes and ears of our boys. The solution is equally clear - boys must be presented with books that strike them as equally meaningful and interesting as those other mediums.

We understand the problem. We have identified the culprit. We have a solution. So why haven't we reversed the trend? To put it bluntly, why is reading something girls do?

Before writing my novel, I took a few trips to bookstores to check out the competition. At first, I was greatly encouraged: There was no competition. Virtually every book was for girls. The depth and range of these girl-oriented novels was impressive, and as a father of a 10-year old girl, I was pleased. The few selections geared toward boys were non-fiction sports books - either biographical accounts of athletes or a catalogue of statistics. Small wonder boys don't read - there is nothing for them to read.

A vicious cycle needs to be broken. Boys do not read, so publishers do not publish books for them, and writers write for girls. Boys continue not reading because there is nothing of interest to them, which only encourages publishers and writers to avoid that market.

I want my son to read. I want him to be like my daughter, who will ignore several calls for dinner to finish a chapter, or will secretly turn on her nightlight to finish a book. I have a small cache of classics for him. But after we get through Tom Sawyer, what will he read?

More to the point, will he read at all - or just turn on the computer?

David Skuy is the author of "Off the Crossbar," a sports novel for boys. You can visit his website at http://www.charliejoyce.com He is a popular lecturer, speaking to kids and parent groups on the importance of literacy and sports for children.

How To Listen To Your Teenager Without Appearing To Have Attention Deficit Disorder Add

Writen by V. Michael Santoro

In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says, "Daddy, you have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears." That statement says almost all there is to say about listening. Being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information.

Listening can be considered an art, as well as a skill, and like other skills, it requires that you exhibit some discipline to be effective. However, in today's world where multitasking is considered essential to surviving in the workplace, it is not uncommon to be talking on the phone while we are reading mail or sending e-mail, and simultaneously conducting hand signals with a co-worker who needs your input about something important.

However, when it comes to communicating with your teenagers, you have to separate yourself from this multitasking communications style, and learn how to focus 100 percent of your time on her when she needs to talk to you. If you do not, she will perceive this distracted behavior as a lack of interest in her.

Thus, during your conversations with your teen, you must ignore your own needs, demonstrate patience, and pay attention to her. Hearing becomes listening only when you pay attention to what is being said, and can contribute to the conversation.

So how good are your listening skills? Answer the following "yes or no" statements honestly:

1. I make assumptions about my teens feelings and thoughts
2. I bring up past issues during current disagreements
3. I interrupt my teenager's conversation
4. I respond to a complaint with a complaint
5. I respond to my teen with phrases like, "That's ridiculous."

If you answered "yes" to any of these statements, then there is some room for improvement in your listening skills.

What to do Use the following guidelines to help improve your listening skills:

1. Maintain eye contact with your teen during conversations. Good eye contact allows you to keep focused and involved in the conversation.

2. Be interested and attentive. Your teen will sense whether you are interested or not by the way you reply or not reply to her.

3. Focus on "what" your teen is saying and not "how" she is saying it. If she is upset, for example, she may be exhibiting body language that may be distracting.

4. Listen patiently and avoid getting emotionally involved in the conversation. If you do so, you will tend to hear what you want to hear, as opposed to what is really being said. Your goal is to remain objective and open-minded during your discussions.

5. Avoid cutting your teenager off while she is speaking. This will show her that you respect her right to have an opinion, as well as to freely express it.

6. Avoid distractions or trying to multitask during your conversations. This may be okay at work, however your teen may perceive that you have a terminal case of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). :)

Exercise

It may be helpful to have a practice conversation with your teenager rather than wait to try and be a better listener when she comes to you with a "real world" problem. Inform her that she is really important to you, and that you want to be a better listener. Then tell her that you need her help.

Referring to the above guidelines, have her tell you about her day while you demonstrate your listening skills. Then ask her how you did and what you could have done better. Remember not to get defensive and conclude by thanking her for her help. Doing this on a regular basis will not only improve your overall listening skills, but also will make your teenager want to talk to you.

This article is an excerpt from the book "Realizing the Power of Love," How a father and teenage daughter became best friends...and how you can too! By V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed and Jennifer S. Santoro. For more information visit their Web site at http://www.dads-daughters.com/.

Bridging The Gap Between Stayathome Moms And Working Moms

Writen by Amy Tiemann

The time has come to call a truce in the so-called "mommy wars."

Everywhere you look these days there are stories about hard feelings and judgments between stay-at-home moms and employed moms. Fortunately, in the real world, I perceive much less conflict than the media portrays.

I have several strategies for healing the mommy wars. First and foremost is to decide that it's time to work together. Any effort that women spend judging each other is wasted energy that could be used instead to work together for common goals.

If you think about it, there is really no "us" versus "them," only "us." Nearly eight of 10 American women return to work by the time their first child reaches five years of age. Despite the stereotypes you see in the headlines, becoming a stay-at-home mom is not a one-way trip out of the paid workforce for most women.

Perhaps more importantly, it's time we realize that even when women take very different career paths, most of us experience similar pressures. The search for quality childcare, family-friendly employment and financial security can play out in very different ways.

One mom may stay home because her employer could not accommodate her request for part-time work, while another woman goes back to work because she secured a job-share. Some women can afford to stay at home, others can't. Some women can't afford to go back to their jobs because the cost of day care is more than their take-home pay.

We need to work together to increase family-friendly career options for all women, because very few of us can truly count on being stay-at-home moms forever, and many of us would like to resume careers when our children get older.

Every woman needs a back-up plan that will enable her to go back to work when necessary. This is good planning for our families as well as ourselves. It is difficult to think about, but any of us could find ourselves in a situation that requires us to become the primary breadwinner. In my own life I have seen women close to me suffer serious financial blows when faced with one of life's unexpected curve balls of divorce, widowhood, spousal unemployment, or disability.

Keep an eye on emergency employment options, and ask yourself, "what would I do if I needed to get a job tomorrow?" Consider long-term strategies as well, asking "what is my ideal life-long career path?" Time at home with young children can provide an opportunity to plant the seeds for a future career path.

Here are five practical strategies to help you stay at the top of your game and ease your transition back into the work world after taking time off:

1. Maintain and build networks. Keep in touch with old colleagues in your professional persona, and cultivate relationships in all the groups you belong to.

2. Update marketable skills. Take classes and consider going back to school part time to get a certificate or degree that will help advance your career later.

3. Keep up with new developments. Read relevant publications and maintain continuing education requirements needed to keep your professional licenses current.

4. Volunteer. Volunteering will keep your intellect sharp and can introduce you to influential people within your community. In addition to traditional volunteering such as field trip chaperoning or class clean-up, seek out opportunities that let you use your professional talents and could tie in to future employment.

5. Build your resume. Writing journal publications or articles, giving conference talks, making presentations to local community organizations, or becoming involved in the local Chamber of Commerce all offer ways to show continued involvement.

For all mothers, the day will come when our youngest child grows up and moves on to pursue his or her own dreams. Thanks to our increased life spans, most of us moms can count on decades of productive living, working, and creating during our empty-nest years.

It's more important than ever to take a lifelong view of our careers. Let's join forces now to lay the groundwork that will maximize our current work options, as well as pave the way for the exciting "next act" in our lives.

About Amy Tiemann: Before becoming a mom, Amy Tiemann earned her Ph.D. in Neurosciences from Stanford University. Today, her work helps women regain their "mojo" when entering motherhood. Often times, women lose themselves when baby is born. Getting in touch with your true 'self' while raising your baby is not only possible, it's being done in "Mojo Mom Circles" around the country. See why women are joining the revolution and downloading their own "Mojo Mom Party Kits" http://www.MojoMom.com. Contact Amy at Amy@mojomom.com