Whos Looking After Them

Writen by Rachel Goodchild

Who will look after them?

For many parents in today's economic climate, returning to work after having a child is an expected necessity. However you feel about it, it is essential the transition is as smooth as possible. There is nothing worse than spending your weeks at work worried sick about how your child is, and who is looking after them.

For some mothers, you may be the primary provider, and have chosen to return to your career with your partner at home to care for the child. This may feel like the easiest solution. You will (hopefully) feel more confident knowing your child is in the hands of the other parent, who is intimately acquainted with your child, and knows their routines. When I briefly returned to work outside the home after the birth of my first child, this was the method we chose. It did not mean the transition was completely smooth, but I did feel good knowing my child was being cared for by one parent. I totally underestimated the levels of jealousy I felt in his growing bond with my child, which had to be addressed fairly early on in the arrangement.

For many parents however the option of the father house husbanding is not possible. In this case, it is essential good alternative care is found. Whether you are looking for part time or full time care the issues remain the same- your child needs to feel safe, secure and loved.

Choosing good childcare is one of the most important things to organise if you return to work after having your child. Try to wait as long as possible before returning to work, so that you have had time to get to know your new baby. If you are breastfeeding, this will also help this to become well established.

While many parents feel they should return to work as soon as possible, if you are working in a physically demanding job, you need to give yourself a good length of time for your body to adjust to the increased broken nights sleep, the physical toll on your body, and the emotional drain. Even people working in extremely challenging positions are often surprised at how hard parenting can feel compared to their old job!

After the birth of your baby is the best time to work out the best form of childcare for your child. You may have already started this process before you had your child, however your feelings may change once the baby is in your arms

The first question you need to answer is what type of care will you choose? Can you use a family member or close friend? What about a nanny? You may prefer to select a child care facility close to your work so you can see your child during lunch breaks. If you are returning to a shift work situation, most childcare facilities may not be an option

Ask friends and family to give their advice on what has worked for them. Good childcare is often found by word of mouth – and there can be waiting lists for the most popular places. You may need to place your baby on waiting lists as soon as you know you are pregnant.

The key to finding good care is to try and find someone with similar views on parenting. A family friend with small children can often be a good solution- you can help them financially, and they are someone you know and trust. Make sure you lay down important ground rules about hitting, routines, and care with whomever you end up using.

Answering the following questions may help you decide on the best form of care. The solution is different for everyone, depending on personal circumstances.

Think about these concerns:

1. How much work will you be doing? Are you going back full time or part time?

2. Will you be working conventional hours or mainly shifts? If you will be working nights, family or a nanny will be your best options.

3. How much can you afford to spend on childcare?

4. How will you get your child there every morning- is it close to work or home?

5. If you choose homebased care, what happens if the carer gets sick? Will you have to take time off work on these days, or do you have a back up plan?

6. What best suits your child's needs? If they are a baby, will they get one to one care with plenty of cuddles, or will they be left in a cot for much of the day?

7. How do you feel about your plans? What do you want to do? Many mothers find their feeling on childcare.

When looking at childcare, it is good to look at different places before deciding on a permanent place for your child. If the person cares for other children – do they look contented and cared for? Do they provide interesting programmes for the children? From what age can the child be left with the caregiver? Some accept from six weeks and others not until much later.

Ask the caregiver about the type of training they have had. Do they have training in first aid in case of accidents? What do they think is important about looking after children? Look at how the other children relate to the caregivers. If the place has a happy and loving feel to it your child will benefit.

Spend some time settling your child into the place before you go back to work. If you know your baby is happy and settled, your return to work will be much easier- you may be surprised how hard the separation feels for you.

Rachel Goodchild speaks at EArly Learner conferences on the importance of nurturing and caring for our young children. She is in demand for her seminars on perparing children for school and using tradtional tales. You can see her book the Joy of Reading at her website http://www.snapeducational.co.nz