Thursday, September 11, 2008

How To Deal With Teasing At School

Writen by Wayne Po

It inevitably happens to everyone. Some more than others.

Whether it's because you wear big glasses, you're not wearing the coolest clothes, you're too tall or too short or big or too small – teasing is a timeless "activity" that never goes out of style (unfortunately).

So, how do you deal with it without having to resort to physical violence?

Here are a couple of tips that I've learned:

  1. Walk away. When kids, teens or even adults tease one another, they do it because they want to get a reaction out of you. They enjoy seeing you squirm, get upset and feeling bad about yourself.

    Mostly they do it so they can make themselves feel better by making others feel bad about themselves. (yes, I do feel sorry for those teasers).

    When the teasers begin to find that their teasing no longer affects you, no longer gets a reaction out of you, they inevitably stop (and most likely move onto another target). It's no longer fun for them.

    So, don't give them what they want. Don't react, just walk away and ignore them.

  2. I've found that tip #1 works the best, but what if you can't walk away? What if they corner you in and you can't push your way out? Firstly, I would keep with ignoring them. Stand there with a straight face (as if you're waiting for the silliness to stop).

    If that doesn't work?

    Scream and yell "Help!" – bring as much attention to the teasers as you can. If you're on school grounds there should be monitors and teachers around that should hear you and come to help.

    If you're off-school grounds, I would yell "Fire!". If you yelled fire on school grounds, you may end up getting yourself in trouble so I would reserve this for off-school grounds.

These two tips are what I've found to work. Of course, each situation is different. Each person is different.

If you or your child is being teased at school or outside of school, talk to your child and tell them that they don't have to face this problem alone. Seek professional help, by no means should you take these tips as concrete advice but I hope it gives you a starting point.

Speak to the parties involved. Speak to teachers and principles as they have a responsibility to create a safe and comfortable learning environment.

There may also be a need to involve the teaser's parents as well. As they have a responsibility for the behavior of their child.

Wayne is the founder of BuildingSelfEsteem.net, an online resource offering practical tips and advice on improving self-esteem and self-confidence. Visit the website, http://www.buildingselfesteem.net

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