The Organized Parent 8 Tips For Getting Your Growing Familys Act Together

Writen by Jennifer Hull

One child is a relationship. Raising two or more is a small business. To stay sane as the family grows, you need to organize and plan effectively.

What follows are 8 tips for keeping family life on track as school events, pediatrician appointments and errands multiply.

*Keep a "Waiting For" file. My file currently contains: birthday invitations responded to, information on my girls' upcoming dance recital, and receipts for uniforms on order. Without this file, these papers would be on my desk.

*Read the school newsletter. Skip the newsletter and the school gods will get you. Your kid will arrive in uniform on costume day. You'll find out about the big pilgrim event after the turkey's been roasted. Note newsletter events - then look for them to change in the next newsletter.

*Get an electronic organizer. As the family grows, so do the number of regularly scheduled events. Kids' activities, PTA meetings - why record these by hand each week when you can program them to repeat? The best gift I got preparing for my second child was a Palm organizer.

*Keep spring open. Once the kids start school, May and June are as busy as December. Schedule a business trip during the last month of school and you risk missing an important event. Keep your calendar as clear as possible during this time.

*Create an inbox for your mate. You swear you left it on the counter for him. He hasn't seen it. Avoid conflict by giving your spouse an inbox. Put the roofing estimate job in the box and place flowers on the counter.

*Meet with your spouse. Plans made in passing don't always register. Men are lousy at multitasking. Women get overwhelmed at home. Sit down and compare calendars. Start by scheduling date night.

*Consider birthday parties optional. The more kids you have, the more invitations you get. Pass on those that don't fit your schedule. But RSVP so the busy birthday parent can plan.

*Preserve free time. My favorite days with my girls are the unscheduled ones. Set aside time to just hang out together. It's as important as anything else you'll do.

(c) 2006 Jennifer Bingham Hull. Reprint rights granted as long as entire article is published, including resource box and its live links.

Jennifer Bingham Hull is an award-winning author and mother of two. Her book, Beyond One: Growing a Family and Getting a Life, looks at life after the second child. Jennifer's articles have appeared in The Wall Street Journal, Parenting, Working Mother and many other publications. Visit http://www.growingafamily.com/ where you can contact her to receive this "Life Beyond One" column regularly and sign up for her free newsletter.

The Power Of Positive Selfesteem

Writen by Barb Desmarais

Nathanial Brandon, the well-known author of several books on self-esteem tells us that "self-esteem is the key to success or failure." He also says that parents can't give their children self-esteem if they don't possess it themselves.

Why do we want our kids to have a positive sense of self-worth? Children who like themselves make friends easily, tend to be leaders rather than followers, understand that mistakes are a tool for learning, are willing to take risks and generally see the bright side of life. They have a lot of confidence and just know they have what it takes to be able to realize their dreams.

We all know adults who lack self-esteem. It's sad because often they are people who have so much to offer but somehow lack the confidence to share their skills and knowledge with the world. They avoid situations that might present potential risk. They limit their network to only those people they feel completely safe and secure with. They don't dare risk publicly displaying what they know for fear of humiliation of rejection. Taking any kind of risk is just too scary.

It's often been said that in life we don't regret the things we did as much as the things we didn't do. We can all look back on missed opportunities. The fear of failure and rejection is enormous yet read the stories of any highly successful person and you'll find that they faced rejection over and over again. They also "failed" many many times. What made them succeed is that they weren't discouraged by rejection and continued to believe in themselves.

The view we have of ourselves was established in childhood. It came from the way the adults who cared for us responded to our accomplishments, our dreams, our aspirations and our so-called mistakes. It came from how they honored and acknowledged our uniqueness and our special abilities. The view we took on of ourselves stayed with us even as we left childhood and became adults.

Children want to know that we believe in them. There are a variety of ways we can deliver that message. They want to know that no matter what we will always be there for them. They need to feel safe in their own environment.

All of us are only using a fraction of our potential. Why don't we do whatever it takes to ensure our kids become the magnificent people they're meant to be and experience success in all aspects of their lives?

Barbara Desmarais is a parenting and life coach and host of "The Parenting Coach Show" on http://www.snippetradio.com. Visit her website at http://www.theparentingcoach.com. She can be reached at barb@theparentingcoach.com Sign up for Barb's new e-course: "Your Child's Self-Esteem"

Summer Boredom Busters 10 Great Ideas To Keep Kids From Getting The Summer Blues

Writen by Polly Schlafhauser

Keep kids from getting the summer blues with these ten great ideas.

Build an Ice Cream Stand – Find a local ball park busy with little league ball games and set up an ice cream stand. Let the kids build and decorate the stand out of wood or cardboard (old refrigerator boxes work well) and add their menu to the outside. Keep kids involved by letting them be in charge of buying the supplies (large bulk clubs like Sam's Club are great for this) and figuring out how much to charge. Encourage your kids to donate a portion of their profits to a charity or add some fun games for their customers to play while enjoying their ice cream. Keep the ice cream cold by burying it in plastic containers at the bottom of a big cooler filled with ice.

Organize a Summer Playgroup – Ask other parents to join you and your kids at a local park once a week. Play on the playground, organize lawn games, or provide crafts for the kids.

Hold a Treasure Hunt – Write up clues that will lead your kids on a hunt through the neighborhood and to local places of interest. Begin by mailing the first clue to the kids (what kid doesn't like to receive mail?) and letting them figure out where to go. You can spread the clues out over the summer or have them complete the hunt in a day. At the end, have a "treasure" of prizes available as reward for their accomplishments. You can make it interesting by writing the clues on scrolls or by making them educational

Start a Neighborhood Business – If your child is old enough, help them start a small neighborhood business like pet watching, dog walking, mother's helper, or house watching (getting mail, watering plants). Help them create fliers, determine pricing, and of course help them understand how to provide excellent customer service.

Host a Neighborhood Cookout – Encourage your neighbors and friends to take a break from their busy lives by inviting them to a neighborhood cookout. Include the kids by having them help make invitations, plan games, and prepare food. Make it easier on yourself and family by asking your friends and neighbors to bring a dish to share.

Join a Reading Contest or Challenge – Encourage your kids to get lost in a good book this summer by signing them up for your local library's reading contest. Common among most libraries, book challenges are a great way to keep kids reading through the summer and earn prizes and awards for their achievements.

Start a Summer Scrapbook or Memory Jar – Start by saving small mementos from your summer vacations, activities, and trips. Over the summer let the kids add them to a scrapbook or store in a decorated memory jar or box. Make it fun by giving the kids a challenge of finding the most unique memento from their excursions.

Hold a Carnival – Let your kids organize a backyard carnival for friends and neighbors. Kids can be kept busy building a ticket booth, organizing games, planning food, and buying prizes. Let them take charge here; you will be amazed at what their imaginations can do!

Write a Family or Neighborhood Newsletter – Put your kids in charge of writing and publishing a family or neighborhood newsletter. Let them write creative articles and share the scoop on what is going on with friends and family. This is a great way to help them improve their writing skills and keep them busy at the same time.

Start a Puzzle – Pick out a large challenging puzzle and put it in an out of the way place. Encourage the kids to slowly add and complete the puzzle throughout the summer. This is a great one to have on hand when they say "I'm bored".

Polly Schlafhauser is Founder and President of Families with Purpose, a website dedicated to helping busy families enhance their family life and find time for the little things in life. To subscribe to their FREE newsletter or to find more creative ideas to beat the Summer Boredom Blues, visit their website at http://www.familieswithpurpose.com

Missed Opportunity Are My Parents To Blame

Writen by Kacy Carr

Parents have undying love for their babies which grows stronger and stronger each and every day.

The infancy months where four hourly feeds are followed by the hand aching task of burping baby. Dribbles of milk flow through your fingers as the infant rests his/her weary scrunched up face in the palm of your hand fighting off the land of nod. What is baby thinking? As he/she loses the battle to stay awake.

Then we have the nightmare months of the toddler years where mum and dad need eyes in the back of their heads. It is at this time we teach the toddler to walk/talk, and when they do we tell them to shut up and sit down. It only takes a second for baby to scale the stairs, and then it is panic stations while you negotiate and try to convince the child to stay put till you manage to reach out for them. What a relief when you have them safe in your arms smothering them with affection while you chastise them. What is the child thinking? Being loved and shouted at, at the same time.

We have the first day of school where many a mothers' heart is broken leaving their child behind. Some children adapt easily to their new school and we have the ones that don't. Thus making it harder for mummy/daddy to leave as teacher tries coaxing the screaming child tugging at the apron strings. What is the child thinking?

Teenage tantrums have to be controlled and the best person for the job is the parent. We are there to lend a shoulder to cry on all because they can not have Justin Timberlake or Brittany Spears on their arm. Then as parents we struggle with Once upon a time there were the birds and the bees. Parents are the first to see danger signs. Whether it be the wrong choice in boy/girlfriend or maybe the people they hang out with. so when they receive a clip around the ear for doing something they felt was right and mum and dad didn't, then what was that child thinking?

The wedding ring exchange between your child and their partner tells you the parent it is time to let go now they have all grown up. But do we ? I don't think so.

Whatever the age of your kids you will find they will always be your babies.

What were those children thinking? Well let me tell you, mum and dad it because they cared.

Want to know what the married kids were thinking? Well I think you may have guessed that one yourself. So you see as protective and caring parents we could not let go if we wanted too because someone has to look after the grandchildren.

It is cruel world out there and in some sad cases children have lost their parents to illness or misfortunate events and have no one to point them in the right direction. If you want to help your kids then further their education. This way they have a chance to get on in life. An educational background works wonders in the career world. You can find more information about online education on the internet.

Don't have your kids thinking they missed out on an opportunity because mum and dad chose not care anymore.

This is an amazing site with proven results with your kids best interests at heart http://www.allaboutonlineeducation.com

How To End The Misery Of Bedwetting

Writen by G Jones

When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend to become dry during the day more easily than at night. During the day they are awake and aware of their feelings and can go to the toilet normally. However, at night, when they are asleep, the usual feelings of a full bladder aren't sufficiently strong to wake them. The result is a wet bed. Or, young children have to continue wearing diapers at night.

Fairly soon they realise this is not normal. They wonder why they don't need a diaper during the day, but do need one at night. They might also talk to siblings or friends and discover that they don't need a night-time diaper. This will only compound their worries.

Throughout childhood, your son or daughter is trying to establish their identity; they are trying to find out who they are. They also want to make sure they 'fit in', that they are just like everyone else and that they are not abnormal. As soon as they discover that wetting the bed is not usual, they worry.

Your child might not say they are worried, but they will be. What this means is that you need to do everything you can to reduce the potential for concern. That means treating the bed wetting occasions as normal, no trouble. Don't make a big thing out of them. The more you make a fuss, the more the child thinks they are unusual, out of the ordinary. And when that happens, they are more likely to continue wetting the bed.

Also, it's important not to punish the child. One survey found that 21% of all children who wet the bed are punished for doing so. But the child has no idea why the punishment is taking place. They are doing something natural - urinating - and they can't connect the punishment to any crime. This can lead to all sorts of difficulties for the child, including social ones. Punishment is also counterproductive, lengthening the time it takes to achieve night time dryness.

Instead of punishment, children who wet the bed need support, guidance and encouragement. Positive reinforcement of the good times - when they have a dry night - is much more likely to succeed in the long term.

The problem for most parents is that the best methods of dealing with bed wetting also take a long time. The child also gets frustrated at the delay in achieving a dry night. That's whey encouragement and a positive home and attitude are essential in helping children come to terms with the difficulties they face.

The more you talk about bed wetting and make them feel abnormal, the worse the situation will become. The more you treat each bed wetting incident as a normal everyday occurrence, the quicker the dry nights will arrive.

For more information on how to deal with bed wetting and end the misery for your child visit Bed Wetting Info.

Getting Through To Your Teenager

Writen by Joe Martin

Have you ever watched your teenager make a mistake (that you've made yourself) after you've warned them at least a thousand times? Is there anything more frustrating as a parent?

Well, this is somewhat typical in most "normal" households across America. We (parents) screw up, tell our children about it, and what do they do? They go out and repeat the same mistake. It makes you question your own gene pool.

In actuality, the problem isn't with the teenager (at least not all of it), the problem is in our approach to teaching our teenager the lesson we want them to learn. In a sense, we act just as crazy sometimes; we teach them using the same strategies that didn't work a month or year ago. We should be asking ourselves, when will we learn from our past mistakes?

Here's a better approach that I've experimented with few times with my own students. It's a modified version of the Socratic method. You simply lead your teenager to a predetermined answer that they come up with on their own. That's it. I know it sounds easy, but it takes quite a bit of practice. Allow me to demonstrate.

A parent of one of my students confided in me that her son was hanging around a dangerous group of boys in the neighborhood. She believed his friends were possibly into drugs, gang violence, and other criminal activity. With no father figure in the home, she thought maybe I could "get through" to him.

I asked her, "What have you said to him?" She replied, "I've told him at least a hundred times that his friends are up to no good, and they're going to eventually get him into trouble and jeopardize his future." She continued, as she cried, "I told him that I made the same mistake when I was his age, and he didn't want to go through the pain I did. I just can't get him to listen."

A lot of us can relate to this mother's frustration. We want so much for our children to avoid the mistakes we made. We can't understand why they can't understand our concern, and we become frustrated and sometimes even angry.

Well, I agreed to meet with her son after class. But I decided to use a different approach. I figured the old approach wasn't working, so what did I have to lose? After a little small talk, I simply asked a couple of simple questions, "Who are your three closest friends?" After he gave their names (all part of the group his mom disliked), I asked him a second question, "If you died tonight, and you had children, would you want any of those friends raising your son or daughter?"

After an extremely long pause, I let him off the hook by saying, "You don't have to give me the answer, but I do want you to ask yourself another question. If you wouldn't let them raise your children in the future, then why are spending most of your time with them today?" That was the end of our discussion.

This little episode may or may not have put him on the right track, but it did one thing his mother was unable to do – get through to him. He now had to make his own decision based on his own reality, not his mother or his teacher – and then accept responsibility for the consequences of that decision.

And that's all you can really do for teenagers…get them to think for themselves. If you did a good job teaching your children in the early years, the growing process (including the mistakes) is a lot easier to accept.

The key to getting through to your teenager is to say less, and ask more in order to get them to do more thinking. The more you say, the less they'll think. And the less they think, the more mistakes they're inclined to make. So, take your own advice, learn from your past mistakes by adopting a new approach.

Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, professor, and educational consultant and owner of New Teacher Success. Visit http://www.newteachersuccess.com today!

Stimulating Nurturing And Communicating With Your Child

Writen by Linda Milo

To help your baby develop a good attitude about him or herself, and to discover that life is exciting and wonderful, two things are most important: talking and touching. All children are born with the capacity to understand words and to learn to talk. Children start to communicate their needs from the moment they are born. When your baby hears your voice, he will stop what he is doing and listen. At about four months old, your baby will respond with noises when someone is talking to him. The first sounds your baby makes sound like e's and eh's and a's. These are called "discomfort sounds" of crying. A cry will sound like e, eh, and a. Your baby also communicates with gestures, facial expressions, and body movements.

Very soon after birth, a baby will also learn the sounds of ah, oh, and oo. These are called "comfort sounds" and you can usually hear them when your baby is content. Paying attention to these different sounds helps to establish a way your baby can talk to you. Every baby understands that when he makes these sounds, his mother or father will respond by doing something. At about six months of age, these sounds will show up in combination. This is the point when your baby will start to babble.

When your child starts "baby talk," your response should be smiles and praises. Imitate that sound back to your child. When you imitate these sounds, he'll probably say them right back to you. Hug your child and tell him how pleased you are that he is talking. How much and in what way our child will talk depends, to a great extent, on you. A child hears his first words from his parents and for the first few years most of the speech they continue to hear is from you. If a lot of talking goes on in the home, particularly directed to them, they will assume speech is important. They will work harder at speaking and will talk sooner and more.

Language develops by speaking with your child as much as possible. Whenever you're feeding, changing, bathing, and walking your child, talk to him. When you talk to your children, they are learning to put words to certain actions and objects. This helps your child express his needs in words. In order for you to share more complicated thoughts and ideas, your child must begin to develop language, speech at first and then writing. Just a few simple sounds during the first year of life will lead to the use of thousands of words by the time your child is a teenager.

Another wonderful way to stimulate language development is by reading to your child daily. You can read during the day or before bedtime. Hearing your voice communicates love and security to your child. Many parents tell me that their child let's them know they want to be read to when they being a book out of their book basket or shelf and hand it to their parent's to read to them.

Children's feelings are a good way to stimulate and nurture your child. Use words to describe how you think your child is feeling: "Jane looks very unhappy right now," or "Tim is feeling happy." Putting words to feelings will help your child express how they feel. This is a lifelong skill that will benefit your child's self-esteem and thoughts of himself. With the ability to use words, phrases and sentences, your child gains mastery of his environment by expressing his needs and understanding the needs of others.

Your child is a natural born explorer. There are many ways to help your child develop a sense of touch and stimulation, which helps in his overall development. Every child likes to touch, taste, grab, twist, bite, and pull on anything within their reach. Giving your child safe things to play with and touch helps their eye-hand coordination and sense of exploration. Here are some ways to help stimulate your child's development:

· Give your child things of different colors and sizes.
· Dance and sing with your child in your arms.
· Stimulate your child's body by a daily full body massage.
· Children love when you play with their hands and feet and tickle them gently.
· Stimulate your child with gentle rocking and singing songs.
· Give your child safe things to touch: objects that are soft, fuzzy, sticky, hard, squishy, etc.
· Show your child his and your face in a large mirror.

Stimulating, nurturing and communicating with your child from the day of his birth creates a conscious effort on your part to encourage your child to find life exciting and wonderful. Your child's physical, intellectual, language and social and emotional development depends upon your interactions with your child. You are the person your child most imitates throughout his lifetime. So give your child the best start in life by providing a loving, stimulating and caring environment that sends the message, "I love you and want the best for you."

Copyright © 2006 by Linda Milo and Empowering Parents Now. All rights reserved.

Linda Milo, The Parent-Child Connection Coach, specializes in helping mothers and fathers turn their parenting challenges into a more livable, more workable, and more enjoyable family life. Her FREE better parenting newsletter covers specific, proven, and immediately usable methods for overcoming the most common parenting challenges. Visit http://www.empoweringparentsnow.com to subscribe to her FREE newsletter, and you'll also receive her FREE Special Report.

Parenting Your Teenger You Know You Are Growing Up When

Writen by Jeff Herring

It happened today in my office. I kid that had been going at it with her mom over every single issue said the magic words:

"It's been a pretty good week, I got some things done even though my mom was bugging me to do it."

One of the clearest signs of a maturing teenager is when they can do somthing even though their parents want them to or even suggested it.

Rebellion gets old

Of course the rebellious stage gets old for parents. But did you know it gets old for the teenager too?

When every issue becomes a battle for independence, even the strongest of heart can wear out after a long period of time.

Not only does making every issue a battle for independence wears you out, it lowers any negotiating power you have. If you fight everything, what's the point? Gold would not be worth much if we had an abundance of it to go around.

Learning to pick her battles

One the the most important thing this kid is learning is how to pick her battles. She has learned to save the drama for issues that are worth having drama about, and not fight over every little thing.

One more step along the road to maturity, and hopefully a more quiet house and happier family.

Visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for tips and tools for thriving during the teen years. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 5 day e-program on The Top 5 Things to Never Say to Your Teenager, from parenting coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Kids Online Are Your Kids Behaving

Writen by Richard French

Today most teens use the Internet and most use it the way it should be used. Things like chatting with friends, finding information for homework, playing games etc. However, as we all know many teens, and adults, explore a little deeper into the Internets dark side. Teens that are doing this will exhibit fairly common behaviors while viewing inappropriate material online. Some signs to watch for are;

1.) They seem to panic when you approach them while their online?

2.) When you see the computer screen, while they are online, the internet is closed, even though you heard typing minutes before.

3.) They startle very easy while online.

4.) They have something between them and you, i.e. a chair to slow down an inquisitive parent or sibling. This buys them time to close any windows they don't want you to see.

5.) The Internet history is always clean, i.e. they delete it.

Now, what can you do to verify if something is wrong or not?

While they are online at a time when you suspect something is wrong you need to walk up on them and have them stop what they are doing. Depending on how you want to handle this you can say you need the computer now or tell them what you are doing. Whichever you choose to do you need immediate access to the computer, do not allow them to close windows. Once your on the computer open any windows that have been minimized. Then review the history logs. See TheParentsEdge Monitoring 101 for a step by step guide on how to review your history logs.

This isn't foolproof but should work fairly well. The only fool proof way to know what's going on with your computer is to monitor it with software. All parents should have monitoring software installed on their computer. We simply cannot let our kids go online without some restrictions and some form of control. Ther are just to many bad people out their looking to take advantage of our kids.

Richard French is a father of 5 and his site TheParentsEdge is dedicated to help parents keeps their kids safe while online. With how to's, step by step guides,news,safe surfing rules and more TheParentsEdge is designed to give parents the "edge" in todays tech savvy teen world. Free step by step guide How to block websites with IE

The Better Behavior Wheel A New Kind Of Calm In The Family

Writen by Gina Ritter

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there in the name of the Better Behavior Wheel, invented by Julie Butler and her family in central British Columbia. In an interesting twist on charts and discipline, this versatile wheel can be hung on a wall or toted with you in the car and on vacations.

It's a way to get whole family involvement, and a little bit of humor to get us over the discipline bumps. Kayla Fay, publisher of Who Put the Ketchup in the Medicine Cabinet? says, "This is the proverbial spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down! Only a loving parent could come up with such an effective way to discipline children."

As the Wheel Turns

Originally, the wheel sprang from constant battles between Julie's 9- and 12-year-old children, David and Laura. With battles raging in their home, Julie and her husband decided they must find some way to keep the peace. Julie says, "We hated the atmosphere of tension that would invariably follow these exchanges. Our once happy home was being turned into a war zone, and it felt like there were land mines scattered beneath our feet. One night, in desperation, we called the kids into the living room and told them how upsetting their behavior was. We asked them for suggestions on how we could restore peace and serenity back into the family."

The kids were sent to their room to come up with at least six appropriate consequences for their next fight. David and Laura presented the family with consequences like:

Clean the other person's room Do dishes for the other person Make the other person's bed for a week Lend your favorite CD or game to the other person for a week Make a list of ten good things about the other person Hug and make up….

These suggestions were arranged around the perimeter of a board, and a spinner attached to the middle. The premise was that the spinner would choose the consequence for them, and they would hang the board in plain view in the kitchen. Julie remembers, "We crossed our fingers, and waited. And waited. It was amazing. Just the presence of the board, hanging on our kitchen wall, had an instant calming effect on the atmosphere in our home. Occasionally we'd see one of the kids standing in front of the board, idly flicking the spinner, checking it out. But the fighting had stopped."

Of course, the battle was won, but not the war. Ten days later, the fighting began again, but this time they were prepared. Says Julie, "We called them both into the kitchen, took the board down off the wall, and placed it on the table. They knew what they had to do. How could they refuse? They chose the consequences. They practically invented the board. It landed on the most dreaded consequence of all: Hug and make up!"

Once the fighting subsided, Julie realized there were other behaviors she also wished to curb. "It seemed like the kids were always leaving the lights on when they left a room. Or they'd leave the TV on when they went to bed. Why not make another wheel with consequences related to wasting electricity?"

Eventually, eight themes were added: Excessive Arguing Leaving the Lights On Not Putting Things Away A Job Poorly Done Stretching the Truth Taking Without Asking Talking Back Wheel of Just Desserts (rewards)

Forty-eight consequences and 16 rewards are printed on peel-and-stick paper with colorful eye-catching graphics, enabling parents to customize the wheel to meet their family's needs. Just cut them out and stick them on. It's very easy to make up your own consequences and themes.

Interestingly, Julie says the wheel lowers her stress, keeps the consequences appropriate, and removes parents from the "Bad Guy" label. In the past, she and her husband would have to repeatedly ask David to do something, only to hear him say, "I know." This would come to a boil, and in anger they would yell and exact a punishment too harsh for the infraction.

Now, the wheel does all the work.

"David, it's 8:15; you haven't started the dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin the wheel."

"But, Mom!"

"I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are the rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence."

Julie says, "The amazing thing is, we're no longer the bad guys. We can actually root for the kids as they drag themselves up to the wheel. It's no longer 'us against them'. It's the wheel that they have to answer to. But the greatest thing of all is that we hardly ever have to use the wheel. It hangs on the kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder."

What Else?

The Butlers' website, www.better-behavior.com , shows some parents of ADHD children have found the wheel to be a wonderful program. That is great news for many! Every parent should work with their child's personality and decide if the wheel is right for them, keeping in mind that every program doesn't work with every child.

There are a couple of letters on Julie's site from parents asking for help with children who are completely out of control. One mother says her five-year-old "beats (his big sister), kills animals, curses, and destroys everything in his path." Another mother said her six-year-old adopted daughter has angry outbursts and goes in cycles. She wondered what to do when her child refuses the consequences and it starts another battle.

These are warning signs of something more serious than just a discipline problem. Often, young children and teenagers exhibiting these symptoms have a physical problem that can cause behavioral changes, such as infections, Lyme Disease and thyroid problems. Mental disorders such as early-onset bipolar disorder can also cause very similar symptoms and must be diagnosed and treated immediately.

In these cases, the Wheel would not be appropriate and medical intervention is needed immediately. For help, contact your pediatrician and look for information on these diseases and disorders on the Internet.

However, there is still a possibility that the wheel will be valuable with a child who is stabilized. Again, parents will have to make the decision to try the wheel according to each child.

The Last Word

Parents of children with normal behavior and discipline problems are encouraged to try this wheel and have a little fun with discipline! Bringing the whole family into the discipline decision-making is an excellent way to work as a team and come to a peaceful solution. The wheel isn't meant to exact negative punishment on a child, but rather remind them to pick their battles and mind their parents.

Teachers and parents alike will find the wheel very useful in classrooms and homes everywhere with children ages four and up!

Gina Ritter is a personal life coach for parents and publisher of www.naturalfamilyonline.com. She lives in New York with her husband and three boys (who also spin in the kitchen).

Helping Your Child To Make Friends

Writen by Jane Orville

No matter how you decide to educate your child with Down syndrome, there will still be the issue of socialization – making friends. One of the biggest worries of parents with a Down syndrome child is:

Will my child be teased? How will I help my child with this and any hurt feelings?

Believe it or not, it is not typically the children you have to worry about – it is their parents. Most children will be accepting of your child. Parents, however, have often been taught that Down syndrome children need to be isolated and can't do much. They may think that your child should not be included in activities with their child.

The best thing you can do is to invite other children over to play. Make friends with the other child and their parents. Let them know about Down syndrome. Help them to understand that your child is more like their child than different. It is amazing what happens as people begin to understand. Understanding leads to acceptance.

This does not mean that your child will never be teased or never be hurt. The fact is that most children, with or without Down syndrome experience some teasing and hurtful comments. This does not make it right, but it is a sad fact of life.

One of the best defenses is to let your child know from the very beginning that she is different, but that differences are OK. Let her know that we all are different! This way, if your child encounters teasing, she will be able to say, "Yes I am different. All people are different, and so am I."

By Jane Orville

Jane Orville is the mother of a 17 year old Daughter with Down Syndrome and has spent years researching and compiling all the wisdom she has gained into a simple guide to assist parents deal with the concerns of raising a child with Down Syndrome. For more information see…

http://www.down-syndrome-help.com

Say No To Mealtime Mayhem Eating Out With Your Baby Or Toddler

Writen by Sharon Hurley Hall

Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children. Their short attention span and need to be involved in everything will mean a nightmare for you, they say. They're wrong. We eat out regularly with our two year old and have a wonderful time. Here are a few tips to make sure that you can do it too.

First of all, make sure you choose a family-friendly restaurant. Look out for easily accessible (and clean) high chairs, a willingness to warm milk, free bibs and baby food (available at some rest stops and motorway service stations) and entertainment for your child in the form of crayons and paper or a soft play area.

In case none of this is available, you need to take your entertainment with you. Crayons and paper, an etch-a-sketch or other drawing board toy and a couple of books are often enough to distract your child from any thoughts of mayhem.

Choose your time carefully. Ideally, you should arrive half an hour or so before your child's regular mealtime, so that their food arrives on time. And don't even think about going out when your child is already tired - you'll be setting yourself up for the evening from hell.

Children are bad at waiting, so you'll need a food backup in case your order is late. Pack a box of raisins or snack bar. Although you're not supposed to take food from outside into eating establishments, if you politely explain that the alternative is a screaming child, they'll definitely turn a blind eye.

When placing your order, ask for your child's meal to be delivered first. That way, you can do any cutting up that's required and start the feeding process early and you'll be free to focus on your own meal when it arrives.

Make dining out interesting for your child. Talk about what you're going to order; point out what waiters and waitresses are doing; take a tour of the salad bar; discuss whatever's on the walls. Your child will be pleased to be included and won't even think about having a meltdown.

Once you've finished your main meal, ask for your bill at the same time as dessert. You'll want to make a quick getaway once you've demolished a sweet treat, because by then your little darling will be running out of patience.

We've been taking our daughter into restaurants before she could sit up. At first she was in a car seat, then a high chair, and now she can sit on a big chair (she's very proud of that!) She can order her own food (with please and thank you) and talk about what's happening. Don't think she's a paragon of virtue, because she's not - she's a very spirited two year old. But she enjoys eating out and generally behaves well enough for us to stay in the restaurant for an hour and a half or more. Since the parenting books claim that half an hour is pushing it, we don't think that's half bad. Why don't you try it, too?

Sharon Hurley Hall is a freelance writer, ghostwriter and editor. Sharon worked in publishing for 18 years, writing articles and editing and designing books and magazines. She has also lectured on journalism. For more information or to contact Sharon, visit doublehdesign.com Read more of Sharon's writing at her blog

Parenting Your Teenager The 4 Ds Of Time With Family

Writen by Jeff Herring

How would you like to have more time? Of course we all want more time. There are just two problems: 1. We can't add more hours to the day; 2. Even if we could add more hours, we would just fill them up with the same stress we have now.

What we can do is use our time differently. And I don't mean buy a new schedule planner. Adapted from the work of Stephen Covey and Anthony Robbins, here are some skills for creating more time in your life and some suggestions for what to do with the time.

Distraction. Distractors are ways we use our time that are not urgent and not important. Some might call it recreation. Exercising, playing a sport, taking a walk, reading a book, watching TV or playing solitaire on your computer are all ways of distracting ourselves from the stress in our lives.

And we all need some distraction in our lives. The problem is that many of us spend far too much time in distraction that could be spent on more life-giving activities.

Delusion. No, I'm not talking about seeing little aliens or believing you are Napoleon. Delusions are the activities in our lives that we make urgent, but really aren't important. Many people get hooked on the thrill of urgency and then run around doing lots of unimportant things.

Demands. Now we are looking at the things that are both urgent and important. An important deadline, the car breaking down, a child sick at school - all are urgent and important.

The time-draining kind of demands that nag at most of us are usually brought on by that old time enemy called procrastination. The next time you find yourself tempted to procrastinate, here's what you do: just put it off. That's right, just say to yourself, I'll procrastinate later, right now I'll get it done.

Destiny. These are the things that may not be urgent but are tremendously important: spending time with family and friends, taking time to relax, building and growing important relationships, planning for the future. These are the things that shape our destiny.

Consider how much time you spend on distractions, delusions and demands. How might your life be different if you spent that time on things that shape your destiny?

Here's one simple yet powerful suggestion I recently heard. Think of it this way: In a child's mind, what is the most important thing they do in a day? Play. In a child's mind, who are the most important people in life? Mom and Dad.

So when we as parents (the most important people in their lives) play with them (the most important activity in their lives), children know that they are important and loved. Not a bad way to spend your time.

For more tips and tools for thriving during the teenage years, visit parenting coach Jeff Herring's ParentingYourTeenager.com

Nanny Techniques For Super Families

Writen by Sue Holsinger

If you haven't seen the British inspired 'Supernanny' on ABC then you are missing out on one of the nation's new favorites in home improvement shows.

This show won't tell you how to create a floral centerpiece or decorate with zebra stripes, but it IS teaching families to bring order to chaotic homes by setting the stage for new parenting techniques.

Actually, British Nanny, Jo Frost, who is the star of the show is doing anything BUT new parenting. She actually encourages parents to stick to the old time rules of discipline, consistency and creating boundaries. Although there is a noticeable absence of any physical punishment, the firm rules that are put in place work apparent miracles on unruly children while helping parents develop confidence in their parenting skills.

If you haven't been among the millions of viewers now hooked on watching the Supernanny bring sanity to American homes, then here's a review of some of her systems:

DISCIPLINE:

It is setting clear boundaries which helps parents and children deal with problem issues - whether it's eating at the table, back-talking or fighting with siblings.

One of Frost's main techniques is to create a time-out area - either a rug, bean bag chair or a room with no toys or TV for distraction. To implement the system parents are coached to warn their defiant offspring of the punishment beforehand. If a warning doesn't work then the child is placed in the time-out area.

Although the time-out has a reasonable time frame depending on the age of the child, some parents will have to place a child who flees the time-out area back into time-out dozens of times for upwards of an hour during the breaking in phase. Once the routine is established the parents, on review, praise the success of the technique and find that often a warning is all that is needed.

BEDTIME:

Bedtime trouble is a serious problem with many families. Frost starts with parents returning the escapee repeatedly until the youngster remains in bed. For tougher cases she has the mother or father sit on the floor next to the child's bed with their head down. This provides the child with security but removes eye contact or verbal attention. If the child climbs out of bed they are not comforted but are put right back.

ATTENTION:

The 'Supernanny' creates a family schedule that includes special time for playing and interacting with the children, as well as allowing parents to spend time together. Frost may be making the most difference by helping parents view themselves as a parenting team, as well as pointing out that having children should be enjoyable.

If you are curious about more of her techniques or just want to watch families (worse than your own) clean up house - check her out on ABC, Mondays.

The author's website, http://www.mynanny.org, provides and online resource for nannies and nanny information. This article may be used if the resource box and link is left intact.

Proactive Parenting How To Set Goals For Your Family And Children

Writen by Shelly Walker

So often, we parents get caught in a cycle of reactive parenting. A situation comes up and we react, and that seems to be the only way we parent. We go along, moment to moment and day to day and simply react to the circumstances around us. Taking a moment to step out of this cycle to look at the long-term big picture is a great way to get some perspective and begin to head your family in the right direction.

We're so busy. Frantic. Hectic. We wait for the weekends (or the vacation) to have fun with our families. We're on the go, from morning 'til night and by the time evening does come we're often so exhausted that we only have enough energy to sit in front of the TV and zone out.

No wonder we are being reactive parents, flying by the seat of our pants! We're all doing the best we can every day for our families. But there's another way to parent our children: a positive, loving, long-term view of them and their lives that lends itself to possibility and joy.

By taking just a few minutes today to realign yourself with your goals for your family, you can make a positive change that will rapidly diffuse to every person in your household. If you are married, do this exercise with your spouse. Get on the same page and begin today to work for the same goals. If you are co-parenting with a non-resident parent, get together and spend just a small amount of time that will make a huge difference in the lives of your children. If you are a single parent it is even more important that you take the time to be proactive now, so you're not chasing your tail later!

Being a proactive parent means that you think about what you want for your children in the long run and take every parenting moment that comes to help them towards that goal. I'll show you what I mean.

One of the things that I want for my children is for them to be financially independent. I want them to know how to use their money to create passive income. I want them to know that they can live their passions in life and make money, too. I want them to know how to save, invest, tithe and spend their money wisely. So, keeping that goal in mind, how can I parent them in a way that will work towards this goal? Here's what I do:

At the age of five, my children begin getting an allowance. They put 10% away for saving, 10% away for investing later on, 10% is given away to charity and they have the other 70% to spend on anything they want. (My husband and I got this idea from Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Kid, Smart Kid website and his Rich Dad, Poor Dad books. These are great resources for learning how to handle your money.)

I give my children complete freedom over their spending money. That way they naturally learn how to save for the things they want. They gain the natural consequences of having and spending money. If they blow all of their money on candy today, they won't have enough to buy the toy they've been wanting tomorrow.

My children know that if they want to earn extra money, they can do extra chores around the house. This empowers them and gives them the freedom to choose their income level.

At the age of eight, we begin to work on investing. We find something that they're passionate about (for John, its baseball cards) and we begin to learn about investing in things that will appreciate (assets) and bring in more money. Since he's been putting aside 10% of his income for the last three years, he has a good chunk of money start investing with. And, since he has his savings he doesn't need to worry if all of his investments don't turn out to be winners.

One of the most important things we do to help our children be financially secure is to talk about money matters with them. We are very careful about the vocabulary we use: always using empowering "choice" words, not "lack" words. If John wants something that we can't or don't choose to afford, it's always "we're choosing to use our money in a different way right now" never "that's too expensive" or "we can't afford that." We do point out the difference between products and prices, but we don't make judgment calls. These discussions happen naturally and are a constant part of our parenting. We are positive that we want our children to grow up with prosperity consciousness, not poverty consciousness. How we talk today about money is how they will think about money tomorrow.

That is one small goal that Michael and I have for our children. We keep that goal in mind every single day, in every parenting moment. Sometimes its hard work: maybe I think that the toy John wants is a total waste of money and it's its hard to resist talking him out of it. But how will he ever learn how to make smart choices if he's never allowed to choose for himself? Freedom is empowering, though it may be a little scary.

Now it's time to sit down and do the following exercise. You may be able to do it in a few minutes or you might want to think about it for a few days and then sit down with your partner and put your answers to paper. As Steven Covey says in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, begin with the end in mind! Begin today to parent with the end in mind: happy, successful children who grow into fully empowered adults.

Step 1: Sit down, relax, get a cup of tea or a glass of water, and just be for a few minutes. If you pray, ask for guidance and a Knowing of the best goals for your family. If you like, you can simply close your eyes for a few minutes and get centered and still. The best parenting comes from that place of Stillness and Knowing that is deep within.

Step 2: Write down these six phrases, leaving room between them to write:

1. Financial Security
2. Physical Health
3. Emotional/Spiritual Health
4. Creative Freedom
5. Relationships
6. Other Goals

Step 3: Begin to brainstorm and write down any goal or desires for your children that come to mind. Most goals will fit into one of the first five categories. Imagine your children as adults. What skills do you want them to have? Are they happy, successful, empowered individuals? What do their relationships look like? Just keep writing and imagining until you have filled one sheet of paper.

Step 4: On another sheet of paper, re-write your 6 topics and put down your most important five goals for each area of development. It's okay if you and your spouse have different priorities. Pick one that is very important to you both and each pick two more to add to the list.

Step 5: Choose one area of development to begin working on right away and add the others in as you can. Keep your goals in mind as you parent you children and remember that modeling the behaviors that you wish to see is the most effective way to teach your children. Emerson said, "Your actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying."

Keep your goals handy and update them as necessary. Remember to celebrate your children's successes with them and let them celebrate yours.

Straight talk from the mom who's been where you are and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. For more information, go to http://www.parentingkeys.com

Are We Breeding Bad Credit Teenagers

Writen by Toni Phelps

It wasn't until about the fourth time that I gave my teenager an allowance advance that I realized I was nurturing her to become a bad credit consumer. Living free at home with no bills to pay, how would she balance a budget when she moved out on her own? Would she continue to borrow money in advance because she spent it all between paydays? Worst, would she constantly borrow money from me when I retire and live on a fixed income?

Over the years I had lectured her on the value of money, but I never explained to her the impact spending freely can have on her future needs--- getting credit for a home or auto loan, a low interest credit card, and even for securing a good paying job.

So when she asked for the latest allowance advance, you can imagine the shock on her face when I said it would cost her 20%, or she would have to wait until her next allowance. Naturally she asked why, and how I proceeded to educate her may be helpful to other parents.

First, I asked her to describe the home she would live in, the car she would drive, and how she would spend vacations when she was grown-up and on her own. After hearing her detail the enormous home, fancy sport cars and tropical vacations, I knew I had a task ahead of me. I needed to educate her without extinguishing her aspirations.

I asked her if any of her fellow teenagers constantly borrowed money from other teenagers. She said yes, and I asked her if she ever loaned money to any of her friends. She stated no, because it was hard to get the money back. I then asked her if she were a bank president and one of her money-borrowing friends came to her for a home loan, would she approve it? No way, was her reply, and it was clear that she grasped my point.

I then asked if she was a company president, would she hire a person who squandered paydays to manage her company's funds? No way, she responded again.

We then used a budget calculator to estimate how much money she would need to earn per month to buy the big home, sports car, and to take Hawaiian vacations every year. We also added other monthly expenses (groceries, clothing, insurance, utilities, etc), and totaled these figures. An easy way to do this is to use the free budget calculator at:
http://www.creditfederal.com/household-personal-budget.html

After seeing how much money she would need to earn, I asked her how would she achieve it, with her current bad credit history of borrowing money in advance? Who would give her a good paying job, and who would loan her money? Naturally she thought life was unfair and that it shouldn't cost so much to live and to buy things. I assured her she could achieve all that she desired, but not to rush. She had to live within her budget, save money instead of squandering every payday, get a good education and prove to employers and creditors that she responsibly handled money.

She now uses the budget calculator to estimate her future financial and lifestyle abilities when she works her way through college, and when she gets her first career job. She knows that initially she won't be taking as many vacations as she'd hoped and the sports car may have to wait, but she's still motivated to achieve those luxuries. And, just like a grown-up consumer rebuilding bad credit into good, she asked if I would pay HER interest whenever I was late paying her allowance.

Article by Toni Phelps of Credit Federal. Get more information about bad credit.

Expanding Your Childs Vocabulary Promotes Skilled Reading

Writen by Deanna Mascle

Learning to read is not like climbing a mountain. You do not simply lead your child over a peak and they then become a skilled reader.

Instead there are a series of skills and building blocks that children gradually acquire and then continue to build on for years before they become truly proficient readers.

One of those essential skills is vocabulary. Vocabulary refers to the words we must know to communicate effectively by listening, speaking, reading, and writing. Vocabulary plays an important part in learning to read. Children use words in their oral vocabulary to make sense of the words they see in print. Vocabulary is also important in reading comprehension. Readers cannot understand what they are reading unless they know what most of the words mean.

While vocabulary is essential to reading children begin building their vocabulary long before they begin learning to read and continue building their vocabulary long after they have mastered the basics of reading. In fact, for most people, vocabulary building continues as a lifelong endeavor.

Children can be taught vocabulary both indirectly and directly. Children learn the meanings of most words indirectly, through everyday experiences with oral and written language. We teach children the meaning of words as we talk to them and explain the world around them. We expand vocabulary through reading to our children and eventually our children will add to their vocabulary by reading extensively on their own.

Children learn vocabulary directly when they are explicitly taught both individual words and word-learning strategies.

It is useful to teach children specific words before reading because it helps both vocabulary learning and reading comprehension. Repeatedly exposing children to vocabulary words in a variety of contexts brings greater depth to their understanding of the word as well as recognition. It is also important that children learn how to use dictionaries and other reference aids to learn word meanings and to deepen knowledge of word meanings.

Children who are learning to expand their reading vocabulary also must learn how to use information about word parts (such as affixes, base words, word roots) to figure out the meanings of words in text through structural analysis or how to use context clues to determine word meanings.

If you want to expand your child's vocabulary there are two additional strategies you can employ. First, don't talk down to them. Use the same vocabulary you would use with an adult. They will learn some words from simple contextual clues you provide but they will also ask what a word means offering you the chance to add that word to their vocabulary. The second strategy is to expand your own vocabulary. Making learning new words (and adding them to conversation) a game or fun activity for the whole family.

The more books and conversation are a part of your child's life then the more their vocabulary will continue to grow.

Deanna Mascle is the publisher of Preschoolers Learn More. Visit for more tips and resources to Teach Your Preschooler.

Vegetarian Kids Need Summer Child Care Too

Writen by Mariah Boone

Until last summer, my vegetarianism has never really made me feel marginalized, even though we live in a community without vegetarian restaurants, and I do not know any other vegetarian families in town. I admit that I have even found stories about how persecuted other vegetarian parents felt to be a little maudlin at times. Sure, my relatives have handed sausage to my toddler (she fed it to the dog), teachers have tried to get her to make lunchmeat snowflakes, and I've faced pressures of various kinds. But I have never seen this as a big problem. I have always felt pretty free to live our lives by our values and have not worried too much about the way that other people eat or wish that we ate. Last summer, however, I encountered some real barriers, and I am feeling a lot more sympathetic to the concerns that I have heard fellow vegetarian parents express over the years.

My daughter has always been in child-care due to my need to earn our living, but combining vegetarianism and child-care had never been difficult for me until my child reached elementary school age. Was I ever surprised at what I discovered! What I have found is that almost all of the summer child-care providers for school-aged kids in our community use the USDA Food Program, a federal program that reimburses child-care providers for the cost of the meals that they provide to the children. I knew this; many other child-care settings use the program, too, and I am a social worker and consider myself fairly knowledgeable about these things. I did not, however, know it would cause my family problems.

Upon approaching potential child-care providers and mentioning that my daughter was vegetarian and would need a vegetarian lunch or for me to pack her lunch from home, I was told that I would need a note from a doctor for her to be allowed a "special diet." I explained that being a vegetarian was not a medical condition so I would not be able to produce a note saying that it was. They said that only medical and religious exemptions were allowed. Could I get a note from my church? Well, my belief in vegetarianism certainly coincides with the simplicity testimony of the Religious Society of Friends but not all Quakers, by any means, express the simplicity testimony by becoming vegetarians as I have done. My clerk might have written me a note discussing that connection, but it seemed a shaky sort of religious ground to me. What we really needed was a philosophical exemption, and these are not allowed according to the federal regulations that govern the program.

Under the USDA Food Program, child-care providers can serve a vegetarian diet to all of their children; they just can't serve a meat-diet to some and a different diet to others without a medical or religious exemption, because it is considered discrimination. I spoke to a state level administrator in the program and she confirmed that this is true. It was clear from our conversation that she was aware of the problem I would face and unhappy about it. She talked about the program being behind the times and the need for change. I felt sure that the child-care providers and I could come up with something workable, but this official knew better. She had obviously seen this unfold before.

I certainly did not feel that they were obligated to fix something different for my daughter, and I have always been willing to fix her food myself, but most of the summer programs were not open to the idea of my packing my own child's lunch. They would not be reimbursed from the food program for my child if she did not eat their lunch, and it would interfere with their reports and their finances to a small extent. Most programs count on the meal reimbursements to help pay for their programs and figure the meal reimbursement into the equation. Just taking the meat out of their lunch and letting me provide them with a substitute for that part was also frowned upon. They worried that such shenanigans would get them in trouble. Also, it would mean more work for them. That sounds awful, but it must be understood that most child-care providers are underpaid for the cost of the service they provide, understaffed due to these funding issues and very heavily regulated. While I badly needed them to try to be more flexible, I also could understand their point of view, given the regulations of the Food Program.

This left me with a very big problem, indeed. We needed summer child-care and my daughter needed a healthy, vegetarian lunch every day, but I found the regulations made that nearly impossible. Thankfully, I eventually did find a program that was not hung up on their reimbursement numbers and was willing to let my daughter bring a lunch from home to circumvent the lack of a philosophical exemption from the menu…only one, though. This adventure has made me aware of the need for a little social action on this issue. We were very lucky to find a program that could afford to be flexible and not everyone in our situation will be so fortunate.

Most summer child-care programs for school-aged children are dependent on the reimbursements they receive and cannot afford to go without very many of them. The high expense of providing child-care is why programs like the USDA Food Program exist in the first place. Not being reimbursed for one child might not be a heavy burden to them, but they do have to think about the big picture. If lots of children started requesting "special diets" for which they would not receive reimbursement, the child-care providers might be in real financial trouble. Child-care providers receiving government subsidies also face real concerns about perceived discrimination issues … what constitutes a good reason to allow a child to eat a non-reimbursable lunch and what doesn't? They are between a rock and a hard place, too, just as my family is, unless the USDA changes its reimbursement rules.

There is a need for the USDA Food Program to institute a philosophical exemption for menu changes in child-care settings so that vegetarian schoolchildren do not end up being excluded from summer child-care placements due to this snarl of regulations and reimbursement needs. A child should not have to violate her principles or go hungry because she needs child-care, but, unfortunately, that is how the system is currently arranged under the USDA Food Program. I believe that we can fix this. Please write to your Congressional Representative and Senator and encourage them to legislate that the program include a philosophical exemption in childcare settings so that vegetarian meals can be provided to vegetarian children. Such a change would allow child-care providers to be reimbursed for providing those meals without fear of repercussions. This is not, of course, the sort of issue that many members of Congress are going to embrace as a cause, but they should be willing to make a regulatory change that increases the convenience with which their own constituents interact with the Food Program if their own constituents ask them to do so. Please ask them. Vegetarian families like mine, who need summer child-care, will thank you.

Mariah Boone is a mother, writer, social worker, Texas historian and the publisher of Lone Star Ma: The Magazine of Progressive Texas Parenting and Children's Issues.

Inspire The Imagination Of Your Children

Writen by Gregg Hall

Everyone knows that having everything in the world does not lead to happiness. There is something more than material things that is needed to make people happy. It's imagination. Imagination can turn even the most mundane things into something to be celebrated, and is something that every parent should try and instill in their child at an early age. There are many ways to do this, but one of the most important and easiest is to draw out your child's creativity by asking them to fashion roles for themselves. How do you do that? Well, you could always suggest that they do what kids love to do anyway, such as play dress up!

Dressing up offers even more benefits than you might think. It promotes the activity of the brain, in requiring your children to think about who they want to be, what that person or thing wears, and how they can make a costume that is something like it. But it also requires a large amount of physical creativity as well. If, for instance, your child wants to be Shaq, he or she will not be sitting on the couch. They will be bounding around the house or yard, exercising healthily in mind and spirit.

Playing dress up also encourages empathy. By taking on the roles of other people and things, your child will have to think like those other people and things. This encourages them to think as if they were not the center of the universe, and promotes an ability that will greatly serve them later in life, the ability to see the world through other people's eyes. What's more, it will allow children to function a bit better than they might otherwise. By playing a teacher, your child might more properly understand what is required of them in a classroom, or how to better relate to adults.

The way that a child plays out roles during dress up can be invaluable for parents. A parent who pays keen attention to the way his or her child is acting out their dress up character can learn a great deal about how their child understands the world. If, for instance, to use the teacher example above, a child always enacts a teacher who is cruel and unfeeling, it might be the case that the child's teachers are not all too kind to the child, and perhaps a parent's intervention is necessary.

Dressing up also provides the necessity of innovation. Since children can become quickly tired of things that become too routine, it will be required of them to invent more and further ways of dress up. This will increase their creative ability and make them more innovative thinkers.

Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Beach, Florida. Find more about this as well as a kid's music CD at http://www.personalizedcds4kids.com.

Four Simple Tips To Help You Stop Policing Your Child And Start Parenting

Writen by Dr. Charles Sophy

In today's political climate, it's easy to fall into the pattern of over-protecting our children. Day in and day out, we are bombarded with stories of terrorism and senseless violence in the media. It's natural to want to cling to our children and not let them out of our sights, policing their every action.

But there is a difference between policing your children and parenting.

Parents often find themselves in a situation where, out of love and a deep concern for the child's safety, they are controlling the child's every move. So how does one get from the point of controlling their child's every action to feeling secure that the child is responsible enough and sensible enough to choose safe activities and sensible friends.

We all want what is best for our children and the act of policing is born of that feeling. But sometimes, what's best for our child is to loosen the apron strings and allow the child to experience life and the empowering feeling of holding our trust.

When we police our children, we react to the situation as we have experienced it. When we ask our sullen teenager about school or a new friend and receive no response, our initial reaction may be that the child is hiding something because that was our reason decades ago when asked the same question. Recollections of our own experiences are not the same as judging the reality of the current situation and can often lead to conflicts with our children.

You are your child's FIRST teacher. As your child grows and experiences life, it is important to navigate them through their experiences, always keeping in mind the foundation that is being laid for a healthy adult life.

Meet Christopher:

Christopher is 13 years old and loves to play hockey, snowboard and snowmobile – or he would if he were ever permitted the chance.

Christopher's father was 13 when he crashed his uncle's dirt bike, breaking a collarbone and shattering his ankle. Christopher's mother has never participated in group sports or outdoor activities and doesn't see the benefit of her child doing so. As a teenager, she played baseball for half a season until a stray pitch broke her nose. Both have determined that Christopher is too irresponsible to drive a motorized vehicle and too reckless to play hockey or snowboard.

Christopher's Aunt and Uncle are natural athletes and avid outdoor enthusiasts. On a recent family gathering at the cottage, Aunt and Uncle cleared an ice rink for all the kids and started a rousing game of hockey. Rules where established – no checking, keep your stick low, keep an eye on the little ones and let them slap the puck every once in a while – and all the kids were soon laughing and playing safely under the watchful eye of Aunt and Uncle.

Christopher was anxious to join but mom feared that he would get injured and was told he could not participate. "I don't want you getting a puck in the face" and "You'll run over your little cousin and hurt him because you don't pay attention" were her replies to each request. Christopher shouted "It's not fair, I never get to do anything fun!" and stormed off to sit by the rink and watch the game. Mom finally conceded when Dad laced up his skates and promised to shadow Christopher on the ice.

The game proceeded without incident until lunch time. After lunch, the kids asked to ride the snowmobile. Aunt and Uncle suited up all the children in their safety gear and chauffeured each of them around the bay. The older children were given the opportunity to drive the snowmobile provided that they kept the speed at less than 25 MPH and as long as an adult rode with them on the same snowmobile or right beside them on another snowmobile.

Again Christopher asked to participate. And again he was told he would get injured and was too irresponsible to be trusted. Christopher had never ridden a snowmobile and had vowed to ride with his Aunt as a passenger – knowing he would never be granted parental permission to drive the snowmobile. But both his parents held firm to their decision to not let him participate.

Christopher was angry! "It's not fair," he shouted, "all my cousins get to ride! I never get to do anything fun. Why can't you just let me live a little? I've never been on a snowmobile. It's not fair that you think I'm not responsible enough to ride. I ride with dad on his motorcycle all the time. Auntie's going to be right there. It's not fair. I haven't done anything to deserve this!" Clearly frustrated, he shuts himself in one of the bedrooms and does not emerge until dinner when he was coaxed out of his room by his Aunt.

It is clear that Christopher needs to be trusted and his parents need to stop projecting their previous experiences upon him. Christopher should be allowed the opportunity to experiment safely and learn his own boundaries and limits. Here are four simple tips you can use to help stop policing your child and allow them to enjoy some of the experiences that will shape their adult lives and provide lasting memories of a happy childhood:

1. Model – Your behavior from infancy will set the stage. Your child will learn safety and responsibility through your actions.

2. Trust – Be clear within yourself and allow your child the space to play and be exposed to limited risk. Do not project your experiences onto your child. Allow them to fill their own life plate.

3. Communicate – Tell your children about your childhood experiences. If there are stories about injuries, be open and honest about the situation and show the child what contributed to the incident.

4. Follow Through – Trust your child to play safely. Remind your child of the limits. When someone breaks the rules, there should be reasonable and logical consequences that are agreed upon ahead of time.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.

Teaching Children The Importance Of A Quotthank Youquot Note

Writen by Richard Arnold

Childhood is the perfect time to express the importance of verbally saying Thank You and beginning to write notes. If they begin as children the act of writing notes feels natural to both boys and girls and becomes second nature in adulthood. Teaching children at a young age about the importance of writing thank you notes is more than just good manners. It's also a way to help them learn about generosity and appreciating the kindness of others. Of course, in this age of electronic communications and just about every kid having access to a computer, they may think the best way to send a "thank you" note is to send one via an email. While this is better than no "thank you" note at all, it is best to teach them how to write a note that is delivered by the postal service.

As we all know, children learn by watching. If the parent is good about sending greeting cards and thank you notes, it is much easier to teach the children. Let them join you as you write your cards and notes. Explain to the them why you are doing this activity. Then, when it is their turn to send a note, set aside some quiet time to work with them and show them you are there to guide them as they put their thoughts to paper. Make it a habit to schedule time after every occasion where they receive gifts to sit down and write their thank you notes. You'll be creating a habit in your child that will last a lifetime and pay many, many benefits back to them later in life - both personally and professionally.

Richard Arnold is the owner of Key Concept Services, Inc., a marketing and business communications firm. For over 15 years, KCS has been helping small and medium sized businesses get their "key" message out - externally to clients and internally to employees. The "key" to business success is good communication. When you communicate properly, you connect. When you connect, you communicate. Richard is also a big believer in the Law of Attraction and has a Blog on this subject at http://sendoutcards.wordpress.com. Contact Richard via email at keycon@mindspring.com.

Boys Dont Read Its True

Writen by David Skuy

I grew up reading sports stories and playing hockey. So what better subject matter for my first foray into the children's lit genre? "Good luck selling it," a publisher told me when I showed him the manuscript. "Boys don't read."

Boys don't read? That was the first I'd heard of it, and I have a five-year old son. I began to research the subject - and sure enough, I found out he was absolutely right. Once boys hit eight or nine years old, they stop reading.

Entire forests have been sacrificed in a bewildering array of reports on the subject. Educators tell us that boys are dropping out of arts courses as soon as they can. In testing of primary school children, girls consistently outperform boys in reading and writing tests by a wide margin. This is consistent with international results: The same finding was reached in a recent study of 36 countries. Business leaders are beginning to take notice, complaining that recent university graduates often lack basic literacy skills. Some 50 percent of all high school aged boys consider themselves non-readers!

These same studies make it clear, if it was not already, that reading is an essential life skill. In a 2004 Canadian government report, reading is described as "the search for deeper meaning" that enables children "to refine, extend, and reflect on their thinking" and will "result in high levels of learning." Boys who read often get higher grades in school, and they are less anxious about schoolwork. And perhaps most significant of all, boys who read turn into men who read.

Most literacy experts have zeroed in on one culprit: technology. There is too much television, MSN, computers, video games, the Internet, Gameboy, and ipod. These mediums are winning the battle for the hearts, eyes and ears of our boys. The solution is equally clear - boys must be presented with books that strike them as equally meaningful and interesting as those other mediums.

We understand the problem. We have identified the culprit. We have a solution. So why haven't we reversed the trend? To put it bluntly, why is reading something girls do?

Before writing my novel, I took a few trips to bookstores to check out the competition. At first, I was greatly encouraged: There was no competition. Virtually every book was for girls. The depth and range of these girl-oriented novels was impressive, and as a father of a 10-year old girl, I was pleased. The few selections geared toward boys were non-fiction sports books - either biographical accounts of athletes or a catalogue of statistics. Small wonder boys don't read - there is nothing for them to read.

A vicious cycle needs to be broken. Boys do not read, so publishers do not publish books for them, and writers write for girls. Boys continue not reading because there is nothing of interest to them, which only encourages publishers and writers to avoid that market.

I want my son to read. I want him to be like my daughter, who will ignore several calls for dinner to finish a chapter, or will secretly turn on her nightlight to finish a book. I have a small cache of classics for him. But after we get through Tom Sawyer, what will he read?

More to the point, will he read at all - or just turn on the computer?

David Skuy is the author of "Off the Crossbar," a sports novel for boys. You can visit his website at http://www.charliejoyce.com He is a popular lecturer, speaking to kids and parent groups on the importance of literacy and sports for children.

How To Listen To Your Teenager Without Appearing To Have Attention Deficit Disorder Add

Writen by V. Michael Santoro

In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says, "Daddy, you have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears." That statement says almost all there is to say about listening. Being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information.

Listening can be considered an art, as well as a skill, and like other skills, it requires that you exhibit some discipline to be effective. However, in today's world where multitasking is considered essential to surviving in the workplace, it is not uncommon to be talking on the phone while we are reading mail or sending e-mail, and simultaneously conducting hand signals with a co-worker who needs your input about something important.

However, when it comes to communicating with your teenagers, you have to separate yourself from this multitasking communications style, and learn how to focus 100 percent of your time on her when she needs to talk to you. If you do not, she will perceive this distracted behavior as a lack of interest in her.

Thus, during your conversations with your teen, you must ignore your own needs, demonstrate patience, and pay attention to her. Hearing becomes listening only when you pay attention to what is being said, and can contribute to the conversation.

So how good are your listening skills? Answer the following "yes or no" statements honestly:

1. I make assumptions about my teens feelings and thoughts
2. I bring up past issues during current disagreements
3. I interrupt my teenager's conversation
4. I respond to a complaint with a complaint
5. I respond to my teen with phrases like, "That's ridiculous."

If you answered "yes" to any of these statements, then there is some room for improvement in your listening skills.

What to do Use the following guidelines to help improve your listening skills:

1. Maintain eye contact with your teen during conversations. Good eye contact allows you to keep focused and involved in the conversation.

2. Be interested and attentive. Your teen will sense whether you are interested or not by the way you reply or not reply to her.

3. Focus on "what" your teen is saying and not "how" she is saying it. If she is upset, for example, she may be exhibiting body language that may be distracting.

4. Listen patiently and avoid getting emotionally involved in the conversation. If you do so, you will tend to hear what you want to hear, as opposed to what is really being said. Your goal is to remain objective and open-minded during your discussions.

5. Avoid cutting your teenager off while she is speaking. This will show her that you respect her right to have an opinion, as well as to freely express it.

6. Avoid distractions or trying to multitask during your conversations. This may be okay at work, however your teen may perceive that you have a terminal case of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). :)

Exercise

It may be helpful to have a practice conversation with your teenager rather than wait to try and be a better listener when she comes to you with a "real world" problem. Inform her that she is really important to you, and that you want to be a better listener. Then tell her that you need her help.

Referring to the above guidelines, have her tell you about her day while you demonstrate your listening skills. Then ask her how you did and what you could have done better. Remember not to get defensive and conclude by thanking her for her help. Doing this on a regular basis will not only improve your overall listening skills, but also will make your teenager want to talk to you.

This article is an excerpt from the book "Realizing the Power of Love," How a father and teenage daughter became best friends...and how you can too! By V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed and Jennifer S. Santoro. For more information visit their Web site at http://www.dads-daughters.com/.

Bridging The Gap Between Stayathome Moms And Working Moms

Writen by Amy Tiemann

The time has come to call a truce in the so-called "mommy wars."

Everywhere you look these days there are stories about hard feelings and judgments between stay-at-home moms and employed moms. Fortunately, in the real world, I perceive much less conflict than the media portrays.

I have several strategies for healing the mommy wars. First and foremost is to decide that it's time to work together. Any effort that women spend judging each other is wasted energy that could be used instead to work together for common goals.

If you think about it, there is really no "us" versus "them," only "us." Nearly eight of 10 American women return to work by the time their first child reaches five years of age. Despite the stereotypes you see in the headlines, becoming a stay-at-home mom is not a one-way trip out of the paid workforce for most women.

Perhaps more importantly, it's time we realize that even when women take very different career paths, most of us experience similar pressures. The search for quality childcare, family-friendly employment and financial security can play out in very different ways.

One mom may stay home because her employer could not accommodate her request for part-time work, while another woman goes back to work because she secured a job-share. Some women can afford to stay at home, others can't. Some women can't afford to go back to their jobs because the cost of day care is more than their take-home pay.

We need to work together to increase family-friendly career options for all women, because very few of us can truly count on being stay-at-home moms forever, and many of us would like to resume careers when our children get older.

Every woman needs a back-up plan that will enable her to go back to work when necessary. This is good planning for our families as well as ourselves. It is difficult to think about, but any of us could find ourselves in a situation that requires us to become the primary breadwinner. In my own life I have seen women close to me suffer serious financial blows when faced with one of life's unexpected curve balls of divorce, widowhood, spousal unemployment, or disability.

Keep an eye on emergency employment options, and ask yourself, "what would I do if I needed to get a job tomorrow?" Consider long-term strategies as well, asking "what is my ideal life-long career path?" Time at home with young children can provide an opportunity to plant the seeds for a future career path.

Here are five practical strategies to help you stay at the top of your game and ease your transition back into the work world after taking time off:

1. Maintain and build networks. Keep in touch with old colleagues in your professional persona, and cultivate relationships in all the groups you belong to.

2. Update marketable skills. Take classes and consider going back to school part time to get a certificate or degree that will help advance your career later.

3. Keep up with new developments. Read relevant publications and maintain continuing education requirements needed to keep your professional licenses current.

4. Volunteer. Volunteering will keep your intellect sharp and can introduce you to influential people within your community. In addition to traditional volunteering such as field trip chaperoning or class clean-up, seek out opportunities that let you use your professional talents and could tie in to future employment.

5. Build your resume. Writing journal publications or articles, giving conference talks, making presentations to local community organizations, or becoming involved in the local Chamber of Commerce all offer ways to show continued involvement.

For all mothers, the day will come when our youngest child grows up and moves on to pursue his or her own dreams. Thanks to our increased life spans, most of us moms can count on decades of productive living, working, and creating during our empty-nest years.

It's more important than ever to take a lifelong view of our careers. Let's join forces now to lay the groundwork that will maximize our current work options, as well as pave the way for the exciting "next act" in our lives.

About Amy Tiemann: Before becoming a mom, Amy Tiemann earned her Ph.D. in Neurosciences from Stanford University. Today, her work helps women regain their "mojo" when entering motherhood. Often times, women lose themselves when baby is born. Getting in touch with your true 'self' while raising your baby is not only possible, it's being done in "Mojo Mom Circles" around the country. See why women are joining the revolution and downloading their own "Mojo Mom Party Kits" http://www.MojoMom.com. Contact Amy at Amy@mojomom.com

Parenting Problem 5 Simple Things That Will Help

Writen by Derrick Pizur

What is a parenting problem?

Parenting is a tough job, we all know that. Parents face many situations that they are not familiar how to deal with. Is the child's fault? Of course not. We as a society are quick to place blame on the problem teenagers, yet often times if we examine the situation closely it is truly the parents that are the problem.

Communication

Parents and children need to communicate with one another before a problem occurs. Your child should know that they can come and talk to you about anything that is on their mind. Parents usually think that this is the case with their child but often they fail to continually tell the child that. Children often do not understand unless told that there is a constant open line of communication and support available to them.

Trust – Lack of trust can be a factor with a parenting problem.

If your child does not trust you they will not communicate with you on a regular basis. Trust is developed over time. Trust is hard to build but easy to loose. Remember often your actions as a parent will speak louder than what you actually say.

Self Esteem

Parents that have a low self esteem often subject their children to tactics that lower their self esteem. Usually this is unintentional but that does not make it right. A child's self esteem or lack of can have major affects on their life.

Family Time

Did you know 90% of parents that have a parenting problem do not actually spend much time around their children? How can you effectively raise a child when you are rarely around them. In today's busy world we are all constantly on the run but we need to set at least one day per week where we can spend time with our children. The more time you spend with your child the easier it will be for them to talk and relate with you and likewise you with them.

How do you tell if it is not a parenting problem but a problem with your child?

It is always tough to tell if it is a true parenting problem or a problem stemming from your child. The best thing to do in both situations is to seek professional help. They will be able to diagnose the source of the problem and help set up an action plan to solve the problem.

http://ChildSafetyInfo.com - Ensure your child is safe!

On Leaving How To Teach Your Child How To Leave The Park Gracefully And Without Arguing

Writen by Shelly Walker

This past summer, I've had lots of opportunities to watch parents attempt to shepherd their children away from the park. I've seen good parenting and really horrible technique. I see a lot of parents and children really struggling with leaving gracefully. Here are some thing's I've learned this summer about leaving:
• Don't sit on the sidelines and watch your child play, yelling instructions to him from afar.
• Do make sure to play with your child to the best of your strength and energy level. Believe it or not, they'll be more willing to leave the park if they have had quality time with you that will continue on the way home. Turn off the cell phone and put down the latte and get out there and have a great time with your kids!
• Don't give three or four different five-minute warnings. This only teaches your child that you don't really mean what you say and that he can push the boundaries because you don't really have any.
• Do give one five-minute warning. This prepares your child & lets her know that a change is coming, helping to create a smooth transition.
• Don't yell at her from afar that it's time to go. This will give her the opportunity to ignore you.
• Do go right up to your child and touch him on the arm to get his attention, then look in his eyes and say it's time to go. This is a loving, thoughtful way to get your child's attention.
• Don't threaten him with a nap if he doesn't leave right now. Naps should be sacred, loving times, not ever punishments. (I actually heard this a couple of weeks ago: "If you don't come with me right now, I'm going to make you take a nap when you get home!" Sleep is not a punishment, it's a blessing!)
• Do tell your child what is coming next. "It's time to leave the park. Let's go home and get a snack!"
• Don't allow your toddler to play until she's completely physically and emotionally spent, then expect her to leave gracefully. We're not looking to exhaust our children: we're giving them a chance for healthy exercise and fresh air.
• Do make play times fun and energetic and make sure they end after an appropriate length of time.

Every parent and child can learn how to leave the park gracefully. It's a simple matter of setting clear boundaries and enforcing them with loving kindness.

Straight talk from the mom who has been where you are and knows how to help your family: Shelly Walker is the mother of two beautiful children and the author of Awakened Power and the upcoming book Parenting Keys, which will be filled with conscious parenting tips and parenting advice. Shelly is passionate about children and believes that every child deserves healthy, happy parents. Her website has great parenting information and free tools to help parents raise successful, empowered children. For a free copy of The Top Five Parenting Challenges: How to Succeed Where Others Fail, go to www.ParentingKeys.com .