The Power Of Positive Selfesteem

Writen by Barb Desmarais

Nathanial Brandon, the well-known author of several books on self-esteem tells us that "self-esteem is the key to success or failure." He also says that parents can't give their children self-esteem if they don't possess it themselves.

Why do we want our kids to have a positive sense of self-worth? Children who like themselves make friends easily, tend to be leaders rather than followers, understand that mistakes are a tool for learning, are willing to take risks and generally see the bright side of life. They have a lot of confidence and just know they have what it takes to be able to realize their dreams.

We all know adults who lack self-esteem. It's sad because often they are people who have so much to offer but somehow lack the confidence to share their skills and knowledge with the world. They avoid situations that might present potential risk. They limit their network to only those people they feel completely safe and secure with. They don't dare risk publicly displaying what they know for fear of humiliation of rejection. Taking any kind of risk is just too scary.

It's often been said that in life we don't regret the things we did as much as the things we didn't do. We can all look back on missed opportunities. The fear of failure and rejection is enormous yet read the stories of any highly successful person and you'll find that they faced rejection over and over again. They also "failed" many many times. What made them succeed is that they weren't discouraged by rejection and continued to believe in themselves.

The view we have of ourselves was established in childhood. It came from the way the adults who cared for us responded to our accomplishments, our dreams, our aspirations and our so-called mistakes. It came from how they honored and acknowledged our uniqueness and our special abilities. The view we took on of ourselves stayed with us even as we left childhood and became adults.

Children want to know that we believe in them. There are a variety of ways we can deliver that message. They want to know that no matter what we will always be there for them. They need to feel safe in their own environment.

All of us are only using a fraction of our potential. Why don't we do whatever it takes to ensure our kids become the magnificent people they're meant to be and experience success in all aspects of their lives?

Barbara Desmarais is a parenting and life coach and host of "The Parenting Coach Show" on http://www.snippetradio.com. Visit her website at http://www.theparentingcoach.com. She can be reached at barb@theparentingcoach.com Sign up for Barb's new e-course: "Your Child's Self-Esteem"