Enjoying The Teenage Years

Writen by Audrey Okaneko

I can not count the number of times I've heard well meaning parents say "enjoy them now, soon they will be teenagers"

I see so many reasons why this sentence is harmful and misleading. First of all, each time you personally say this phrase in front of your own children, it affects their feelings of self worth. If you have a teenager who hears you constantly warn others about teens, you are basically saying your own child is troublesome to you.

If this sentence is being said in front of preteens, those preteens are listening and hearing and watching for reaction. They want to know how mom and/or dad react to being told that in a year or two, their own child will no longer be enjoyable.

Let's face it, every stage of life brings about its own set of challenges and opportunities. Toddlers are learning independence. Preteens are learning a new sense of independence. Teenagers are learning about the independence of becoming adults. By midlife, we often hear the phrase "midlife crisis" and then we often hear that the elderly can get away with anything because they are elderly.

Every stage of life is different. We continue to grow as a person from birth right through death. I smile incredibly thinking of a wonderful woman I know who is over 90. She still drives. She still sits on the board of a few organizations and she still participates in and leads a current events group. This is proof positive that we continue to grow and learn through out our lives.

I personally have enjoyed immensely the teenage years of both of my daughters. As a teen they are very independent, meaning you can leave the house for a few hours and not worry, you can ask for help with cooking, cleaning, and all other chores and you can enjoy incredible conversations with these kids who now have very strong opinions.

I have enjoyed meals out in exotic restaurants with my teens. I have enjoyed long walks where we can chat about life and our own thoughts. I have enjoyed weekend trips with my girls. I have enjoyed a morning cup of coffee. I have enjoyed the most recent movie release with them. Of course this list goes on and on.

Did my kids ever yell? Of course they did. Did they ever not follow a rule? Of course they did. Just as toddlers, preteens and elderly do all of these things, so do teens.

When someone tells me their child is about to become a teen, I hug and congratulate them. They are about to experience a wonderful new relationship.

Audrey Okaneko is mom to two girls. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at http://www.scrapping-made-simple.com