Parenting Young Adults A Psychospiritual Approach

Writen by Sharon Shore

The pitfalls of parenting children about to leave the nest can look like a gaping canyon at times. Are they really ready to be launched into the world so soon? Into that apartment or job, school, marriage or whatever it might be? We can not baby proof the world for them no matter how strong the urge. They are taking those first wobbly steps and, this time, we can not be there when they fall, which they will do.

I have experienced the feeling of disappointment with my children. It throws failure smack in your face with a living walking example of our main creation. Its like life held up a mirror and there is a lot of anger and depression that can accompany that reality..

We have this vision of success for our children. A vision of what we hopefully have empowered them to hug close to their hearts. When our children venture "out" and they appear to have forgotten to bring that vision with them, don't loose heart..

I believe that the hardest age for any child is when they try and individuate their identity. They have to create that space between themselves and our selves, so they can see who they are. We have to let them do this. No matter how scary or infuriating. No matter what. Unless we want them to live inauthentic painful lives. Sometimes I look at my children and see their amazing gifts talents and potential. I know they will eventually use these gifts to elevate their little corner of the world. In their own time, in their own way. G-d sometimes needs to be in the driver's seat, even when we don't like the route He's taking us on..

The greatest gift I give my children is the clear message that I am a work in progress. That you never stop growing, no matter what. We must live our lives as people as well as parents we will never stop striving to refine and elevate ourselves. Their inheritance is this expectation. What message are you giving your child? What does the mirrors reflection that you hold before his face look like? Don't waste precious time being bummed out. Just keep shaping it.

Sharon Shore, CEO Terra Sancta Guild. Find a wide selection of Christian and Inspirational gifts for any occasion. http://www.terrasanctaguild.com

Adoption Give A Loving Child A Home

Writen by Jason Montag

Right now in the world there are tens of thousands of young children that are in need of a loving home and still there does not seem to be enough homes for them all. If you are a family that has tried to have children and have not been successful but still have a lot of love to give you may want to give adoption a try.

There are a couple of important things that you should know about adoption. Not only is adoption a lifelong commitment to the child but it is large legal process as well. There are lots of children from newborn to teenagers that need homes. The kids have been put up for adopting for a myriad of different reasons but still need the guidance and love of a family to help them grow up right. This is only a couple of many issues that could come up so learn all you can.

If you are looking to adopt a child then you should ask yourself a lot of different questions and know the answers to all of them. Will it bother you that your child will not be genetically related to you? If lacks of genetic relations will other you then adoption may not be the right thing for you. The children that have been in the system for a while have been in orphanages and or foster families and are shown to have small developmental delays as a result of their unstable life. Can you deal with this issue with the patience and understanding necessary?

There are a lot of steps involved with adopting a child of any age and we strongly urge you to consider this as a way to extend your family whether or not traditional methods have failed you. There are thousands of loving children that need a home. Consider opening up your loving home to them.

For more information about adoption visit http://www.adoptionshere.com.

When Your Teenager Is Out Of Control Troubled Teen Programs

Writen by Paolo Basauri

Introduction to Troubled Teen Programs

More than ever, teens today are facing an uncertain future. With political instability across the globe and unrest in local communities, it's no wonder that our teens are confused and scared about their place in the world. Just as they are trying to find their own adult identity, the teenage body is hit with an influx of hormones and unsettling emotions that they don't know how to control. Because of this, teenagers are particularly susceptible to conditions such as depression, oppositional defiant disorder (rebelliousness) and numerous personality disorders. Adolescent frustration can easily lead to behavioral problems, if the teen doesn't receive appropriate counseling. Troubled teen programs exist to provide such counseling, and intervene before troubled teens can damage their future irrevocably.

Who Can Benefit from Troubled Teen Programs

Many teenagers can benefit from the variety of troubled teen programs that are available. Whether you're teen is overtly rebellious, experimenting with drug use or promiscuous behavior, or has had trouble with the law, troubled teen programs can provide the tools to set your teenager on the right path. Troubled teen programs can reach your troubled teenager by teaching them to respect themselves and others, offering relatable testimonials and providing an objective outlook on how your teen functions. Whatever problems your teen may be facing, such as alcoholism, insecurity, or apathy, troubled teen programs can renew a positive outlook on life. These programs will help your teen, and your entire family, by bringing you all together.

Types of Troubled Teen Programs

There are many diverse troubled teen programs to address the many problems facing teens. Finding the program that best suits your teenager's needs is key to helping them out of their problems. Some typical troubled teen programsinclude:

• Residential programs – Similar to boarding schools, residential teen programs require the teen to live at the program facility. Residential troubled teen programs are especially helpful for teens that have been expelled from public schools or need a great deal of supervision. Residential programs can be general or cater to specific problems such as drug abuse.

• Wilderness programs – Wilderness troubled teen programs take the problem teenager out of the confusing modern world and bring them back to the basics. Removing the teenager from the influences of bad company, computers, cell phones and modern conveniences, allows wilderness programs to access the root cause of the teen's issues.

• Boot Camp/Military School – There are a number of troubled teen programs that utilize the military approach to treating problem teens. Focusing on discipline and respect, boot camp style programs can build the character of a troubled teen while allowing him to gain much-needed self respect.

Where to Look for Help in Finding Troubled Teen Programs

Because each program is unique, it's important to carefully investigate your options before deciding on the program that is right for your troubled teen. Many programs can be investigated via the internet. Once you locate a program or programs that may be right for your teen, contact each organization to discuss your specific issues.

Paolo Basauri is an expert author writing for Troubled Teens Programs

Positive Role Models For Your Child

Writen by Cassie Martin

Children naturally look for role models to shape their attitudes and behaviors. As parents, it is important for us to make sure that they have plenty of positive role models.

There are enough negative role models surrounding our children - and much of the adult world can be negative, apathetic or mediocre. If we don't actively focus on positive role models, then these other ones can dampen our children's natural enthusiasm and optimism.

The first thing to remember about positive role models for your child is that - despite anecdotal evidence to the contrary - statistical studies demonstrate that the overwhelming majority of children consider their own parents to be their most important role models. This is true not only for young children but even teenagers. So the most important thing we can focus on as parents is to be great, positive role models ourselves.

* Show your child that you actively work on a positive attitude

* Let your child see you setting and achieving goals

* Talk to your child about your own positive role models

One thing to shy away from where role models are concerned - be careful not to overtly criticize when your child has identified with certain role models himself, even if you have a problem with them! If your child looks up to an unsavory pop star, your criticism could cause antagonism rather than learning. Instead, provide a balanced point of view by seeking out something positive to mention about the "hero" - for instance that he must have been very dedicated to his goals to reach his current status. When you need to criticize, be as specific as you can and explain what you dislike about the person's behaviour, rather than trying to label them as all bad.

More ways to expand the positive role models available to your child include:

* Help your child to find a role model who has excelled in a field in which your child has a talent or hobby

* Talk to your child about social issues and then show them real people - either local to your community, or in the news - who have worked to make a difference

* Introduce your child to people you think will be good role models, and talk about the admirable qualities of these people

* Together with your child, find role models from history and make a scrap book or collage about the ones that excite or interest your child the most

* When you see your child demonstrating a behavior that he associates with a particular positive role model that you have talked about, praise him!

* Encourage your child to daydream, imagining himself in his hero's shoes. For example, if your boy wants to be a great golfer, when you take him to the putting green or driving range, suggest that he pretend that he is Tiger Woods for the afternoon

"No printed word, nor spoken plea can teach young minds what they should be. Not all the books on all the shelves - but what the teachers are themselves." --Rudyard Kipling

"It takes a village to raise a child." -- Old African Proverb

Cassie Martin is co-editor of http://www.kidsgoals.com, a dynamic website for parents. Self esteem building and goal setting for kids, parenting advice and resources, educational games, crafts and learning activities for kids and preschoolers.

Cassie has also co-authored "How to Help Your Child Succeed", a revolutionary approach to guilt-free parenting available at http://www.kidsgoals.com/chldsuc.shtml

Get your free fortnightly parenting newsletter at http://www.kidsgoals.com/parent-newsletters.shtml

Introduction To The Medications Used In The Treatment Of Attention Deficit Disorder

Writen by Douglas Cowan, Psy.D.

There are several treatment options available to help improve the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Since there is no prescription medicine that can "cure" for ADHD, the various medical interventions seek to improve symptoms. The most commonly used medicines are stimulants, such as Ritalin, Dexedrine, Cylert, and ADDerall. Stimulants have been around for about 50 years. Overall, they work very well. Ritalin and Dexedrine are moderately beneficial, or very beneficial, for about 70% to 75% of those who try them.

Stimulants work by increasing both blood flow and the levels of Dopamine in the brain, especially the frontal lobes where the brain's Executive Functions take place. They also increase the inhibitory systems of the brain by enhancing Serotonin and Norepinepherine levels. They do not work by having some mystical "opposite effect" on children.
There is an unbelievable amount of research done on children and Ritalin, less with Dexedrine, ADDerall, and Cylert. We have heard that Ritalin is the most widely studied medication prescribed to children in the world, and we would not dispute that claim. It seems that every doctoral candidate writing his dissertation for psychology does something with Ritalin. 

Stimulants, whether Ritalin or the amphetamines such as Dexedrine or ADDerall, all have benefits for children and adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Stimulants will increase the brain's ability to inhibit itself. This allows the brain to focus on the right thing at the right time, and to be less distracted, and less impulsive. Stimulants increase the "signal to noise ratio" in the brain.

They will also increase both gross motor co-ordination and fine motor control. For several years the sales brochure for Ritalin simply had pictures of children's handwriting before Ritalin, and with 10 mg of Ritalin in their system. The changes were dramatic, and physicians wrote a lot of prescriptions for Ritalin. Ritalin may be "over-prescribed" in America, it may not be. But if it is "over-prescribed" it is because it actually works! If it didn't work, sometimes dramatically, it wouldn't be "over-prescribed."

Of course, as with any prescription medication, there are potential side-effects that can be serious. So please consult with your physician and monitor the use of these medications very closely.

Are we great advocates for the use of stimulant medications? We have seen these medications help literally hundreds of our patients, and since we have always asked the physicians that we have worked with to be very conservative in prescribing the medications we have seen very few problems over the past fifteen or more years. However, even with that said, we would prefer that patients at least try the nutritional medicines like Attend and Extress, or EEG Biofeedback training first. However, there is a time and a place for the use of stimulant medications. And we want you to have accurate information about them.

You can get more information on the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, including specific medications, at the ADHD Information Library.

Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.

Puberty Get Ready To Play The Puberty Game

Writen by Michael Grose

Puberty can be a difficult time for children. Not quite kids anymore and not really adolescents they are caught in the middle in type of limbo. It is a sad time for many young people too. Many look back at their childhood and realise that they can never really act the same way yet they look ahead and realise that adolescence will present them with its own peculiar challenges.

Children are reaching adolescence earlier than ever. The World Health Organisation estimates that in developing countries puberty begins about three months earlier every ten years. It is a stage when the maturity gap between girls and boys is quite evident - about two years.

Puberty is a time of immense body changes. The male and sex hormones are different and set off different development in girls and boys. Bodily changes are more evident for girls are accompanied by huge mood swings, which can be disconcerting fro parents. The onset of puberty is not so obvious for boys. The first physical sign boys may notice is the enlargement of the testes, followed by growth of pubic hair. Testosterone, the male hormone, also affects mood swings but it arguably leads to increased energy and boisterousness. Many parents discover that their pre-teen son delights in wrestling with siblings or even his father in what is a sort of test of strength. Paradoxically, many early teen boys need more sleep and eat parents out of house and home.

Pre teens have a need for greater privacy so they spend more and more time in bedrooms, locked in bathrooms or arguing with younger siblings about personal space.

During puberty peers begin to assume increasing importance in young people's lives. Their opinions, their dress and appearance is increasingly influenced by their friends. It can be hurtful for a parent to discover that you are less influential than your child's friends, particularly if you enjoyed a close relationship when they were younger. It is a time when the telephone often becomes usurped, particularly by girls. Incidentally, girls can be quite cruel to each other at this age forming friendship groups along extremely exclusive lines.

It is time for parents to be a little circumspect – a time for guidance and influence rather than control. Make no mistake children during this time of change need their parents more than ever. The way you go about helping them changes - subtle, gentle guidance is often required.

This particular stage provides a window of opportunity for parents. It is a time to help prepare your child for adolescence and even adulthood. It is a time for parents to establish a relationship based on mutual respect and shared interest. And it is the start of an exciting period in your child's development that requires thoughtful and smart parenting.

Michael Grose is The Parent Coach. For seventeen years he has been helping parents deal with the rigours of raising kids and survive!! For information about Michael's Parent Coaching programs or just some fine advice and ideas to help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au

Hindu Baby Names And Their Meanings

Writen by Julie Parker

Hindu people take naming their children very seriously. They give their children names that will guide them to live a life of morality. The name is often reminiscent of divine qualities. Hindus often name their children after holy people, sages, saints, and even use the names of God and the Gods.

Many people are looking for exotic and unique names for their babies today. Tired of the same old names like William and Mary, some are looking towards Hindu names to find one for their baby that will make them stand out as an individual.

Boy Names

Each Hindu name has a meaning and most parents look at the meaning as well as the name itself. If you are looking for a strong, powerful name for your son, consider these:

Jayin (Conqueror)
Nayakan (Hero)
Nirek (Superior)
Ojayit (Courageous)
Paranjoy (Conqueror of Life)
Paramjit (Heroic)
Ranjiv (Victorious)
Sabal (With strength)
Sahasya (Mighty)
Savir (Leader)

Many male Hindu names have royal connotations such as:

Adhiraj (King)
Akhilesh (Lord & master)
Bhupal (King)
Birendra (King of warriors)
Hemen (The King of gold)
Hiresh (King of precious stones)
Iravan (King of ocean)
Kanvar (Prince)

There are other beautiful male Hindu names to choose from with many meaningful translations including Aashish (Blessing), Bijoy (Full of joy), Chiman (Curious), Deep (Light), Ekagrah (Focused), Gandhik (Fragrance), Hardik (Full of love), Jawahar (Gem), Mitrajit (Friendly), Navrang (Colorful), Paran (Life), Rasul (Angel), Sadhil (Perfect), Tuhin (Snowy), Umang (Desire), Vatsa (Son), and Yamir (Moon).

Girl Names

Baby girl Hindu names are equally if not more beautiful than the boy names. Many names have gem and flower meanings such as:

Prithika (Flower)
Reena (Gem)
Samali (Bouquet)
Taj (Crown/Jewel)
Vainavi (Gold)
Vanalika (Sunflower)

There are also many names with celestial meanings such as:

Anamitra (The sun)
Arundhati (Star)
Bhumika (Earth)
Bhuvi (Heaven)
Chandrika (Moon)
Dhara (Earth)
Indulekha (Moon)

Of course, there are many more beautiful names to choose from including Alpana (Beautiful), Bimala (Pure), Chahna (Love), Devanshi (Divine), Fulki (Spark), Grishma (Warmth), Ipsita (Desire), Kala (Art), Lalima (Beauty), Mitali (Friendly), Nirali (Different), Panchali (Princess), Sarayu (Wind), Usha (Dawn), and Venya (Lovable).

For both boys and girls alike, there are many names with god and goddess meanings such as Ambika (Goddess Parvati), Bhaumi (Goddess Sita), Banke (Lord Krishna), Devkumar (Son of God), Hemavati (Goddess Parvati), Hiranya (Lord Vishnu), Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth), Nadiy (Holy place), Narayan (Lord Vishnu), Parvati (Goddess), Rishi (Sage), and Sara (Goddess of Sound).

As you can see, there are many stylish and exquisite Hindu baby names from which to choose. If you are not Hindu though, you may want to check with someone who is for the exact pronunciation of a name.

Julie Parker is a successful writer and publisher providing valuable tips and advice on finding the top baby names, unusual baby names, and baby name meanings. Her numerous articles offer thoughtful tips and valuable insight into baby naming. Check out the "Top 100 Baby Names" list from the last 6 years.

How Bicycling Can Be Good Clean Fun Amp Family Time

Writen by Keith Renninson

This past weekend I rode a 68-mile bicycle ride known as the Elephant Rock Ride. It's an annual affair to attend the E-Rock, as it is affectionately known, for residents in and around Denver. This was the 19th anniversary of the ride and it was attended by 7000 riders of all ages.

This year there were a lot of kids riding with parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. It was so cool to see youngsters riding along with that gleam in their eyes that shouted, "Hey, this is fun, much better than sitting in front of a computer game!"

As with most sponsored rides of this type, families can enjoy a 5, 12, 30, 50, 68, and sometimes, 100 mile distances depending on age, ability and what they have trained for. This year, I rode the 68, finished in 3.5 hours while the air was still somewhat cool and had a ball.

I was amazed at the number of little tykes riding along, talking or singing to themselves, as children will often do when they are happy. Kids love to play and cycling is definitely play (for adults too!).

In an environment like the E-Rock where you have the State Patrol, county sheriffs and local municipality police patrolling regularly to make sure motorists and cyclists alike are behaving, children and parents can safely share an activity that demonstrates to children how many people can share a sport together which is healthy, outdoors and fun.

I realize many parents today involve their kids in so many activities that they are on the run constantly to: soccer, swimming, baseball, football, gymnastics, cheerleading, Scouts, Brownies, etc. Of course, this strategy is an attempt to keep the kids active, out of trouble and away from gangs, drugs and violence. But, in almost all of those sports the parents don't participate. In cycling they can.

Recently, a new role model emerged, Lance Armstrong, and changed everything. He was the seven-time winner of the Tour de France, and a devoted father. Suddenly, because of Armstrong's notoriety, families everywhere began riding with their kids; which is a very good thing; mom and dad received some much needed exercise, and the kids got fun time with their parents.

I race bicycles through the American Cycling Association in Colorado, and belong to a club called Cobra's (Colorado Organization of Bicycle Racing Seniors). At the event the Cobra's put on each year, the Cherry Creek Time Trial Series, we attract numerous squads and clubs who encourage juniors to race. This year, we were very pleased to have a total of 32 junior boys and girls aged from 12 to 16 out of 475 total riders.

During the first two hours before I race, I work a corner as a Safety Marshall and have the opportunity to watch the juniors come through. I always clap, holler encouragement and cheer them on. They look so happy and intense at the same time; the course is 10.5 miles long, ridden in April and May, which can be cold or hot, wet or dry, but these kids are out there, no matter what the weather, having a ball. Of course, just like in skiing, they have to be dressed appropriately.

For the most part, children will take to a sport like cycling quickly because they are in that learning stage where everything is new and exciting. They also experience a freedom they won't get anywhere else.

Children learn how to be competitive, make new friends and acquire a skill, which equals confidence and discipline, those all-important qualities which constitute a good human being and lead to an enjoyable life with a positive outlook.

Take a bike ride with your child, check out racing at your local bike shop or just ride the sponsored weekday or weekend rides in your area; you'll spend more time with your child doing something that is good for both of you.

In the end, it's just one man's opinion…mine.

Keith E. Renninson is a motivational speaker and co-author of the popular parenting tool and illustrated storybook "Zooch the Pooch, My Best Friend". Through the 1990's with much self-examination, academic study, bicycle racing, and mountain climbing, he discovered a renewed zest of life, which included a love of metaphysics, philosophy, humor, and writing and speaking. As Keith says, "Some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue...it's all in what you make of it." You can read more about "Zooch the Pooch" or contact Keith to speak at: http://www.zoochthepooch.com Keith and his co-author Michael Conrad Kelley speak to teens and adults on "The Seven Simple Steps to a More Fulfilling Life." This course focuses on how to build a successful Life Philosophy that works for each individual.

How To Assist Troubled Teens

Writen by Kent Pinkerton

What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet child went and who the angry and rebellious child is that took his or her place. After all, adolescence is a time of change. While each child is different, there are some behaviors that all normal teens seem to exhibit. These include: acting moody and/or rude, complaining about parental interference, experimenting with sex and/or drugs, searching for a sense of identity, showing less affection to parents and/or siblings.

Unfortunately, some teens are more troubled than others and may spiral out of control. These teens are at higher risk of developing serious problems such as substance abuse and addiction, eating disorders, failure in school, legal problems, pregnancy, and in the worst-case scenario, attempted suicide. The difficulty for parents lies in trying to interrupt their teen's downward spiral and replace it with positive steps to help him or her regain a healthy way of life.

Often the hardest part for parents is to admit that they can't do it alone and that their teen needs professional help. Once they can do that, parents will find that there is help available for troubled teens. Some of the options available to parents include boarding schools, boot camps, military style schools, and even residential treatment centers. Deciding which type of program or facility is best suited to help your teen with his or her issues can be a daunting task. Each program or facility will have a different philosophy toward treatment and techniques to achieve results. Parents must do a little research, and whenever possible, take the time to visit facilities and meet the staff to ensure that it's a good fit for their troubled teen.

The most effective programs or facilities offer a number of key components to help troubled teens deal with their issues. These components include academics to enable teens to earn high school credit while they attend the program, as well as recreation, exercise and social opportunities. Other components may include reinforcement of appropriate behavior, family involvement that helps families understand and rebuild problems, as well as personal and emotional development.

Troubled Teens Info provides detailed information on schools, programs, camps, and homes for troubled teens. Troubled Teens Info is the sister site of Relationships Web.

Why Your Childs School Needs An Aed

Writen by Larry Mitchell

Automated External Defibrillators, commonly known as an AED, have saved thousands of lives since their formal induction into the world outside of hospitals and ambulances. Every place from apartment buildings to airports to shopping malls are investing in AEDs and keeping them on hand in the event they should need to be used in order to save a life. Having an AED at your child's school is an invaluable insurance policy -- although no one may ever need the AED, it is there in case someone—regardless of age—enters into cardiac arrest. Along with this popularity in personal and public locations all over the world, many schools have adopted defibrillator policies and are placing AEDs alongside of the tongue depressors in the nurse's office.

AEDs are lightweight, portable devices that can jumpstart a victim's heart by using an electrical pulse called a biphasic shock. Guiding the rescuer with a combination of simple and clear voice, text and graphical instructions, AEDs do nearly all of the work, enabling practically anyone save a life!

Several states have gone so far as to pass legislation requiring schools to have an AED under their roofs, according to Start A Heart, an AED resource Web site. This is critical to ensure the safety and health of the students currently attending that specific school. You should speak with the principal or administration at your child's school to see if that specific school houses an AED or if they fall under the legislation. One such state that has passed legislation is the state of New York. Passed in May of 2002, this legislation requires all public schools to come equipped with an Automated External Defibrillator. Each school is required to purchase an AED in addition to having trained staff on hand that is completely knowledgeable on how to work the defibrillator.

The legislation may not specify regarding this training, but generally schools that have an AED on the campus will encourage educators to become trained into how to work the AED. This is especially important, since more than one individual should be completely aware on how to work the defibrillator in case of emergency and the school nurse or trained individual is not to be found. By training several faculty members of any school, the time required to find an individual knowledgeable enough on how to use the AED is dramatically cut, which can directly affect the individual suffering from the heart related problem. Although it may seem like overkill, many schools offer special incentives to teachers who enroll in an AED training program in order to be able to help in the event of an emergency.

Parents don't always realize that children can suffer from heart problems and might require the assistance of an AED. Many still remember the tragic death from star basketball player Hank Gathers, who collapsed and died of a heart attack during a college basketball game. His death has served as a reminder that even seemingly healthy youngsters can be at risk for heart failure.

Having an AED located directly within the school will allow the child to have a much better survival rate, since he or she will not have to wait a great deal of time between when the medical emergency actually occurs and when the paramedics arrive on the scene. With an AED on hand, an informed individual will be able to directly administer medical assistance that may allow the child to survive until the medial professionals arrive. If your child's school does not have an AED on hand, consider starting a fundraiser program so that the school will have the necessary funds for purchasing an AED.

Larry Mitchell is a San Francisco based author.

Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child

Writen by Gary Hendricks

Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you feel he or she should be starting to read, but they have no interest in books whatsoever? I had the same problem with my son. Gosh, he would rather chew on 'The Big Book of Nursery Rhymes' than read a word from it! Here's a short list of questions which I find very relevant if you're concerned about your kids' reading habits.

Question: There are some scary children stories like "Hansel and Gretel" out there. Will they disturb my child?

Answer: The important thing here is the manner in which the story is told. If you're reading to your child in words, then there should be no problem. If however, you're watching a movie version of the story, then perhaps there is more impact on the child. However, this is not to say you cannot allow your children to watch, say, "Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs".

Just make sure you're there to explain if he or she has any questions - then they'll be fine. As a side note, do remember that scary stories are also required for a child's psychological development - so don't shield them from such material totally.

Question: I've problems finding out which books are best for my child. Please help!

Answer: There are some very good childrens' books out there. Some of my favorite classic childrens' tales which I freely read to my kid include Winnie the Pooh stories, Aesop's Fables and nursery rhymes of any sort. If you're interested, check out the list below for more book references:

* Bernice E. Cullinan, Read to Me: Raising Kids Who Love to Read. Scholastic, 1992. * Kate Hall McMullan, How to Choose Good Books for Kids. Addison-Wesley, 1984. * Jane A. Williams, How to Stock a Home Library Inexpensively. Bluestocking Press, 1995.

Question: How can I motivate my child to read?

Answer: This has got to be THE most common question parents ask. Well, the answer is simple. Have FUN reading to your child and he or she will be motivated to read!

Vary the types of books you get for them. Some children prefer fairy tales, others prefer books about animals, trucks, or cartoons. Expose them to different genres of literature. If you find one area they're really interested you can zoom in on it and focus on those type of books. You can also try visiting your local bookstore and let your child choose a book on his or her own.

Oh, here's another tip - make your reading dramatic. Sure, it's a bit weird initially, but it does wonders for motivating and stimulating your child. Use funny voices and dramatic gestures! Vary your volume level, act like a clown!

About The Author

Gary Hendricks is the editor of www.baby-product-guide.com, a hobby website offering articles on parenting, baby care and baby products.

gary_hendricks@baby-product-guide.com

Teaching Spelling To Your Kids

Writen by Dave Poon

Once you see that your child is already good in reading and writing, this could be the perfect time to prepare him with his spelling skills. The way your kid would learn spelling words correctly can be taught using specific pre-learning skills. It is important to practice your child and make him become a competitive reader and confident in spelling words correctly.

At the same time, teaching your child correct spelling should also be followed by teaching him with correct writing. If your child is having a hard time in forming simple words, make an extra effort to teach him how to spell.

You may enroll your child to a spelling program. However, you need to make sure that he has sufficient decoding skills. That means that your kid should be able to read 120 to 200 words per minute using a reading material that is matched according to his age bracket.

Your child's name is generally the first thing he would learn how to write and spell correctly. Start teaching your child writing his name at an early age. Do this by allowing him to write his name more often. In this way, your child can easily improve in distinguishing alphabet characters.

You can determine his efficiency by counting the numbers of letters or small simple words he wrote. If your child has not met the criteria on the spelling and writing proficiency, you should take time and give extra effort in improving his spelling skills.

Teach your child to spell phonetically simple words. Your child's ability to spell correctly would depend on his ability to say the words that make up phonetically simple words. Make sure that he has enough knowledge on phonics and that he can pronounce each sound or word combinations in a phonetically simple word. After which, he should learn how to write the letters that constitute a certain word that he hears.

Teach him how to spell words that have vowel sounds made up of sound combinations. Simple spelled words that have vowel-like sounds with letter combinations consisting of letter "ee" can be introduced to his lists of words.

Another way of teaching your kid is by introducing words that have rhyming sounds that are also spelled with the same sound combinations. You may introduce four letter words that are included in this class such as tree, free, tear, gear, seal and many more.

Teach your kid to spell morphographs. They are words that may have root words, prefixes or suffixes. When the words are used in spelling, even a limited number of morphographs can create thousands of words. Using these words can teach your child to analyze and identify words. By identifying a word would also enhance his spelling skills.

There are many ways to teach your child to spell words correctly. Start with the basic and do not push him to what he cannot yet do. Always remember to be patient and take extra time to pay attention to your kid's spelling lessons. Prepare your child early so that he would not have a hard time learning simple words he can spell and eventually explore more complicated words in the future.

Dave Poon is an accomplished writer who specializes in the latest in Home and Parenting. For more information regarding Teaching Spelling please drop by at http://www.childrenspelling.com/

Create A Story Book With Your Child

Writen by Susanne Myers

A fun way to build your child's imagination

Writing is still one of our major forms of communication as well as a great way to express ourselves. Creating a storybook with your child is a fun way to introduce him or her to creative writing. You will also get to spend a few hours of quality time together and the end result will become a family treasure for years to come.

All you need is a notebook, a pen, and anything else you and your child would like to use to illustrate a story. You can draw pictures together, or make a collage out of old photos and magazine cut outs. Of course you can also add stickers, glitter or anything else you can come up with.

But let's start at the beginning. The idea is to come up with a story and to write it down in the notebook. If your child has never made up a story, she will need some guidance and help from you. Think about what she is interested in right now: dinosaurs, ponies, ballet; characters from a particular book or TV show, etc.

Ask your child to name the main characters and encourage them to describe what they look like, what clothes they are wearing and where they are. You'll be surprised how quickly they will come up with a story line from there. Encourage them along the way.

If your child is old enough to write, have her write the story herself as you go along creating it. Offer to take turns if she is still new at writing. Otherwise, write it down for her.

Have fun decorating or illustrating the story.

Start your next creative writing afternoon by reading some of the stories you have already created. Give your child the option to either continue with the same set of characters or to come up with some new ones. Before long you will have an entire book of stories that you will both treasure for a long time.

Susanne Myers is the founder of http://www.kinderinfo.com, the one-stop online children's resource center. Here you will find all kinds of answers to help you with your family, including information on child care options and locations, educational resources, sports and recreation, home-based activities, party and event planning, even quick and easy recipes. We seek to answer all kid-related questions!

Parenting Your Teenager What Teens Say About Parents

Writen by Jeff Herring

What's hard for teenagers

Having people who don't understand you trying to control you.

Parents not understanding the things you have to deal with.

Having to deal with school.

Being accepted by friends.

Having someone really close to you leave you.

Being blamed for almost everything because we are teen-agers.

Living with divorced parents and having no say in where you go.

Dealing with boy/girl friends.

Trying to deal with a parent who doesn't want to understand and take time to listen to your comments.

Not being financially independent.

Meeting parents' expectations and never being good enough.

Knowing your parents are right.

What's best about being a teen

Getting away with immature behavior.

The chance to try new things.

Having your whole life ahead of you.

Youth, energy and time.

Lots to look forward to.

Getting a driver's license

Almost being done with school.

Friends and relationships.

Not having to work.

Summer vacation.

What parent's don't understand

Our schedules and our social lives.

That restrictions don't work and talking does.

We're old enough to make our own choices.

We need to have our freedom every once in a while.

That we make mistakes just like they did.

Grades aren't the only thing I'm good for; I can make you proud by just being me!!

We love you even if you aren't around.

Threats make me fear you, not respect you.

What the world is like now, not what it was like when they were kids.

We have feelings, too.

Their words can hurt really badly.

It really is hard to live in a family where your opinion doesn't count.

We understand trust isn't cheap but we have to learn some things for ourselves.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

How To Raise A Writer

Writen by Renee Kirchner

Encouraging children to write is even harder than getting them to read a good book. With a little creativity and persistence you can make writing more enjoyable and less like a homework assignment. Some suggestions will work better for your children than others. It will be a case of trial and error to see which activities will work best for your family. As a writer, I am always trying to think of ways to persuade my two children to write more. Here are a few suggestions for activities I have tried with my own family.

HAVE THEM WRITE THANK-YOU NOTES

I have always encouraged my children to write thank-you notes when they receive gifts for special occasions. Not only does this practice teach them manners and common courtesy, it can go a long way towards showing them how writing is used in everyday life. My children know I expect this of them and they don't complain about it anymore. I sit next to them and write my thank-you notes at the same time.

GET YOUR CHILDREN INVOLVED IN PLANNING THEIR OWN BIRTHDAY PARTIES

Children as young as three or four can help fill out their birthday party invitations. You can find fill-in-the blank invitations at most party supply stores. Let them write the address on the envelope and put on the stamp as well. You can sneak in a short lesson about mailing letters. Your kids will be so excited about their birthday party; they will hardly notice that you've asked them to write something.

BUY YOUR KIDS A TRAVEL LOG BEFORE YOU TAKE A FAMILY VACATION

Let each of your children pick out a notebook before your next vacation. They can decorate the front cover and give it the title: "Travel Log". Tell your children that the notebook is to record their special memories from the trip. At the end of each day's activities, have your children unwind by writing in their journal. They will remember more if they write in the journal during the vacation because the memories will still be fresh. If they want, have them glue souvenirs into the notebook. Small flowers, leaves, postcards, or travel brochures would add to the appeal of their travel diary.

LET YOUR CHILDREN SEE YOU WRITING

In today's email environment, your children may not notice that you are composing letters to your friends via email. Once in a while, let them see you writing an old-fashioned letter to a friend.

Renee Kirchner is a parent, educator, and freelance writer who specializes in writing for children and parents. Visit her fun and informational blog for parents and their kids at http://www.family-friend.blogspot.com and find out more about Renee's writing services offered at http://www.lieurancegroup.blogspot.com or email her at renee.kirchner@usa.net to discuss possible writing projects.

Quotso Exactly What Is Johnny Doing When He Is Not Paying Attentionquot

Writen by George Gallegos

It is always interesting for me to enter a regular education classroom with the intention of observing a student who may be struggling with ADHD symptoms. The first challenge I normally encounter is that of entering the classroom quietly so as to avoid distracting the students. This usually tends to be an impossible expectation. Children almost immediately notice any "outsider" who appears amongst them. They not only wonder who you are and why you are there, but some actually go out of their way to approach me and ask these questions personally. Once their curiosity has been satisfied about a class visitor, they can more easily return to the expectation of completing their assigned task. I may then concentrate on observing Johnny's behavior and work effort in the classroom.

There are numerous factors that may be interfering with Johnny's attentive and productive behavior in the classroom. In my initial observation, I wish to determine if Johnny might be struggling to remain on-task due to excess restless energy and activity level. Children who are moderately or excessively hyperactive will frequently have trouble sitting in their chair. They are wiggly and uncomfortable sitting in place for minutes at a time. Often these children may choose to stand in front of their desk to do their work. This "standing" may often appear to be more of a restless dance rather than actual standing in place. Excess activity and energy may also elicit frequent movement to the pencil sharpener, bathroom, or to nearby classmates to monitor their work production. This restless and off-task behavior may appear to be outside of Johnny's immediate control.

If hyperactive forms of behavior are not disrupting Johnny, I may notice other interferences to his work production including daydreaming, visual distractibility, staring into space, socializing with neighbors, playing with work materials, or engaging in other work related activities other than the assigned task. Although the majority of these behaviors are often described as "un-focused" behavior, only a few are generally judged to be related to the attention deficits observed in ADHD. If Johnny is "zoning out" and daydreaming, there is a greater possibility of an attention deficit interference. Daydreaming could also be observed as falling into an ADHD consideration. However, the remaining off-task behaviors can also be observed to suggest the alternative interferences of low academic motivation, learning weaknesses, or emotional difficulties.

The introduction of the earlier described positive reinforcement system will be a critical intervention to help determine the nature of Johnny's work interference in the classroom. Improving motivation and reinforcing productive work efforts may increase the time Johnny spends at his desk trying to complete his assigned work. It will then be possible to observe the efficiency of Johnny's work effort including his attention to task. By observation, I can qualitatively evaluate his ability to attend to task as opposed to inattention and off-task behavior as a product of task difficulty. The ability to attend to a task is distinguished as a neuro-cognitive ability to regulate concentration and mental energy. However, inattention that results from weak task comprehension or problem solving is more suggestive of the struggle experienced with learning difficulties. If Johnny appears to be struggling to complete an assignment due to task difficulty, I may want to further evaluate the possibility of a learning disability or intellectual weakness that may be eliciting Johnny's inattention. While ADHD cannot be ruled out as a possible interference, learning weaknesses may be presenting as a primary interference.

Johnny may independently choose to seek teacher assistance when he feels unable to complete a challenging task. Yet there are many occasions when students fail to assertively approach a classroom teacher for assistance when they need it. Students need to be encouraged to ask for teacher support when they encounter academic tasks that exceed their ability level. In certain subject areas, Johnny may be paired with a helping classmate in an effort to provide him with ongoing task assistance. Classroom aides are sometimes available to provide a similar support for students in need. Learning specialists will occasionally design their intervention services to be provided in the classroom so that they may offer their academic support to regular education students as well as those identified for Special Education services.

Johnny may experience greater academic success with the infusion of specific learning accommodations to help him learn and perform in the classroom. Although differentiated instruction is routinely offered by learning specialists to individual special education students, it remains possible for similar learning strategies to be used by the regular education classroom teacher for the benefit of all students. However, I will not under emphasize the challenge realized by teachers attempting to introduce different instructional strategies to assist students' routine learning in the classroom. Classroom teachers may not have adequate time necessary to incorporate numerous instructional strategies and learning accommodations into the established classroom curriculum. Yet it is my personal experience that teachers readily embrace these different teaching strategies as a way to assist individual students who may struggle with isolated learning skills. The application of these individual learning strategies into the instruction for the majority of classroom students remains the critical instructional challenge for the typical classroom teacher.

I am a child psychologist recently retired from the public school district. I continue to maintain a private practice devoted to the assessment of ADHD in children. I have recently developed a parent questionnaire that helps parents decide whether to pursue a formal ADHD evaluation for their child. This questionnaire can be viewed at http://www.youadditup.com

When Parents Divorce Children Can Feel The Pain

Writen by Audrey Okaneko

Divorce is difficult for everyone. Divorce affects the two adults involved, plus their children, but it also affects extended family. Regardless of who "wins" custody, regardless of where the children live, these kids have two sides to their family.

The town I live in requires adults to take a class called "Child In The Middle" before a judge will sign the divorce petition.

I actually believe it would be in children's best interests, if this was required in all towns. Even the most well meaning adults often, without realizing, put their children in the middle.

So, what are some of the things to avoid? Do not say to your child "go ask mommy" or "go ask daddy". It is not up to the child to be a go between. It is up to the two adults to speak directly to each other, or through their attorneys if they can not communicate. When a child is asked to be a go between, and should one of the parents get upset with the message, the child feels they somehow are responsible, when they are just an innocent messenger.

Do not ask your child about your ex spouses new girlfriend or boyfriend. The kids are just as uncomfortable with this as you are. They don't want another mother, or another father. They don't want to have to betray you by liking the new person in their parent's life. So make it easy on them. Don't ask.

Don't put your child in the position of ever having to choose. Remember one of you is mom and one of you is dad. It is unfair at the least to ask a child to choose. You both brought this child into the world. At one time it was fine for the child to love you both. Make it ok for the child to love you both today too.

Don't speak poorly of the child's other parent. Remember it was joint love that brought this child into the world. That child feels they are a part of both of you. If you speak poorly of the child's other parent, the child takes it personally.

Do let your child know how sorry you are that they have to go to two homes, learn two addresses etc.

Do let your child know you will do everything you can to support their relationship with the other parent.

Do listen to your children. They often will guide you to let you know what they need.

Audrey Okaneko is mom to two girls. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at http://www.scrapping-made-simple.com

Rising Above The Ego

Writen by Nicola Karesh

I am really happy and easy-going, when I live alone, or I am surrounded by people who don't push my buttons!

I don't really believe that God intended me to live life as a hermit, or to live a sedate, unchallenged existence, so, I have 2 children! Two little people, just 3 and 6, who are so capable of causing a disturbance in my neat and tidy world!

I like nice, happy, peace and quiet in my life. I start my day with a morning meditation and a morning program to get me in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day.

My 3 year old son feels otherwise! He finds me. He drapes himself over my lap and starts an endless chatter with his many toys. It starts off okay. I maintain my peace and serenity.

The questions start and the talking gets louder. His movement increases and I am at choice with where to place my attention. I could get into a temper and get enraged that he has dared to interrupt me with all of this distraction. I mean really! How dare he?

I have gone down this unhappy route many times before, and it is the road to struggle, resistance and hell! Viewing him as a distraction and an interruption is a mistake, because all I will want to do is get rid of him or block him.

He is not budging. Of course not. Why would he? That would be too easy! How else can I practise my Avatar tools?

I fight to stay calm and in control, but my inner chatter if unchecked, leads to more unhappiness.

One day, I was actually willing him away in my mind. Just willing him to please go away. He looked up at me with his dark, brown eyes and told me to just do my exercise! Out of the mouths....

I could embrace what life has presented me with. View things in such a way to see the positive; the benefit to me.

I remind him that I am going to be quiet and do my exercise, as I hug him and hold him and make our connection part of what I am doing. He just wants a little love and attention and to feel my presence.

We can both get what we want and be even richer.

I could allow myself to fully feel and experience whatever emotions come up. If I fight it, it seems to stick around longer.

Fighting the feelings that come up... trying to block, deny or repress them, are all forms of resistance. And what we resist does not go away. It will keep coming back, until we get the lesson, experience it and integrate it.

For me, it is usually anger, irritation, rage, frustration, impatience or hatred. I use my will to not erupt and let the negativity spew every- where and hurt another. I sit quietly with the feelings and have the intention to learn from them.

Interestingly enough, if you come at things from the perspective that the emotions can teach you something, they will.

The pain and suffering, struggle and torment will inevitable yield to something else. You have to allow this to happen.

Nicola Karesh is an Avatar Master, licensed and trained to deliver the Avatar Course worldwide.

She has a Master's in Counselor Education and her certification as a substance abuse professional counselor since 1985.

Originally from Jamaica, Nicola lives in the mountains of North Carolina, where she home-schools her 2 children - a task which provides her with great opportunities to grow and to practise what she preaches!

To learn more about how to manage your attention and to strengthen your will, visit Nicola online at:

http://www.inducing-consciousness.com http://www.inducingconsciousness.blogspot.com?

Help Your Child Do Better In School

Writen by Denni Gill

1. Create a personal schedule

Recording everything that must be done on a calendar or "to do" list will help him to keep track of important dates and deadlines. If he keeps it in a visible place he will have no problem acknowledging upcoming events and will be better able to plan how and where to spend his time.

A "to do" list would also help him to prioritize his tasks. When it comes to homework, whatever is most important should be tackled first.

2. Watch the clock

Setting an alarm for the morning is a must. I also recommend setting his clock or watch five minutes ahead since it's always easy to run late. When it comes to something like catching a bus, just five minutes can make a significant difference.

3. Focus

He should train himself to be able to concentrate solely on one specific task. This is much easier in a noise-free environment. No T.V or radio should be on to distract him.

4. Get enough sleep

Lack of sleep is proven to take a toll on us physically. The more sleep we get, the more alert we are. We thus have more energy to handle life's daily tasks. The average adult needs at least six hours of sleep a night and the average child needs at least eight.

5. Stay in shape

Through spending time outdoors or playing sports with friends, he can "blow off some steam" so to speak, as well as re-energize. Encourage him to get outside.

6. Talk through your problems

Being able to share his concerns with you will alleviate the frustration of keeping things bottled up. Sharing feelings often makes them easier to deal with. If you make it clear that you understand him and are willing to help, not only will you contribute to his emotional health but you'll help build an open and honest relationship as well.

Denni Gill is a Toronto Poet and Freelance Writer. For more, check out http://www.DenniGill.net

Do You Show Your Love To Your Child

Writen by Deanna Mascle

Show-and-Tell in various forms is a popular feature of many preschool classrooms. When you watch children making their presentation you understand the popularity of show-and-tell. Kids love to talk about their interests and passions but they love to share those interests and passions even more.

Kids are all about show. As a parent you know this. We have to demonstrate and lead our children by the hand through every lesson--both big and small.

So why do we so often think it is enough to simply tell our children that we love them? It isn't enough. Love is the biggest show-and-tell of them all and you need to make it a part of your every day life.

Children do as we do, not as we say, and down the road do we really want our children simply mouthing the word: "I love you" to us as they rush out the door? Or do we want them to show us in many ways?

This is why it is crucial to show your child that you love him.

Hugs and kisses are good. So are tickles and games. My son and I have little bedtime rituals that allow us to show our love for each other.We snuggle for bedtime stories and talk about the day. Then we come up with ridiculous ways to count how much we love each other, for example 12,567 heffalumps was one recent description. Then we butterfly kiss, eskimo kiss, and finally squish and smooch (our code words for hugs and kisses).

However these are not the only ways that I demonstrate my love for my son.

When I was growing up I never doubted that my parents loved me. They made very clear that my brother and I were a top priority for them. They sacrificed professionally and personally to give us time together as a family. My father coached; my parents chaperoned, volunteered, and chauffered; and my parents attended every school function, play, concert, and game.

More than that though my parents took an interest in us as people and would play games or ride bikes. They would simply spend time with us doing the things that we liked doing.

It really isn't just about time. After all, both my parents worked and were active in the community. My mother was the only working mother in the neighborhood when I was a child.

It is a question of priorities. YOU know that your child is your top priority, but what do your actions tell your child? If repeatedly your actions put something or someone else before your child then they are going to get that message loud and clear no matter what is in your heart.

Most days my husband leaves for work before our son is even awake, but when he comes home in the evening the first thing he does is scoop Noah up for a tickle and hug. Sometimes Noah even makes his father chase him because he knows that his father will. Noah knows that he is a priority for his father and he trusts that love.

So how can you show your child he is a priority? How can you demonstrate your love for your child? Find some way every day to show as well as tell your child of your love. Some ways we do this in our home:

~ Skip dinner preparations and make a picnic together to eat at the location of che child's choice. Noah's favorite is up in his tower.

~ Clicking off the TV to lay on the floor and layout a train track. Coming up with new designs can actually be pretty relaxing for the parent after a stressful day!

~ Going for a walk and just talking about whatever comes up. This is one of Noah's favorites!

~ Setting down my own book to read Noah one of his.

~ Putting off kitchen cleanup to go outside and play soccer or tag.

Notice what all these actions have in common? They don't involve money, just your time and attention. That is the gift your child values above all else. Sure they'd like that latest toy and gadget they see advertised on TV, but they love you and long after that toy is abandoned in the back of their closet they will still choose to spend time with you.

You can enjoy more family articles at Answers For Your Family and Official Family.

The Educational Value Of Puzzles

Writen by Michele Mueller

Are you looking for a good way to help your child grow? Have you ever thought about the benefits that puzzles have to offer?

There are many primary skills that a child can develop when constructing puzzles. Persistence and adaptable thinking are learned as kids search for different ways to make puzzle pieces fit together properly. A child's hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills are improved by maneuvering the puzzle pieces and fitting them in their proper locations. Assembling puzzles helps children enthusiastically apply crucial skills such as suggestive and deductive reasoning, categorizing, problem solving, and classifying.

The most important thing to consider when picking out a puzzle is the age of your child. The puzzle should be thought-provoking, but not so difficult that it discourages your child. Other things that you should take into consideration are ease of use, durability, and number of pieces. Although all three are important, the following rule of thumb can be helpful when determining the appropriate puzzle to select.

Infants & Toddlers (0-2 years): 1-2 pieces

Young Preschoolers (3 years): 2-5 pieces

Older Preschoolers (4-5 years): 5-10 pieces

School-age (5+ years): 10+ pieces

Even though babies lack the hand-eye coordination to put a puzzle together, they are attracted to bright puzzle pieces, as well as puzzles that make sounds. As babies move into their toddler and preschool years, large-piece puzzles with pegs or knobs aid in the development of a child's hand-eye coordination and problem solving abilities, while sound puzzles help them associate sounds with objects. At this age, children learn that if a piece does not fit a certain way that it can fit a different way.

Puzzles with smaller pieces help older preschoolers to continue developing their skills by challenging them to look for more details within the puzzle. These details can include matching pieces using colors or locating pieces that form an object.

Finally, one must consider the durability of a puzzle. The younger a child is, the more durable a puzzle must be. Therefore, wooden puzzles and rubber puzzles are a much better match for little children, such as infants and toddlers, while cardboard puzzles are much more suitable for preschool and school-age children.

Michele Mueller has a degree in Early Childhood Education. She is the co-owner of Imagination Station Educational Supplies, a retailer of innovative learning toys and games, as well as other educational resources.

Mothers Beware The Plight Of Stay At Home Dads

Writen by Mathew Butka

As I was wandering through the produce section of the local Super Market, a misplaced odor wafted through the air. No, it was not the musk of rotting tomatoes, it was the distinct perfume which emanated from my infant son's diaper. Immediately, I sprung into action to assess the situation. I lifted my son from the car seat (placed precariously on the cart handle and the "big boy seat") and noticed immediately that my usual "sniff & pat" test would prove redundant. The evidence was in plain sight - we had a blow out.

After gently placing him back into the seat, I scurried off to the Men's room in effort to mitigate further damage and begin the clean up process. To my, and my son's, dismay there was no diaper changing station. Now I know what you may be thinking - this store simply does not cater to parents in general.

Perhaps they are equal opportunity offenders, giving neither moms nor dads recourse when nature calls a bit too aggressively for their children. In this case the answer is a resounding "NO." As I was peeling the Onsie off my son (now perched on the tailgate of my truck) a similar, albeit much less messy incident came to mind that happened the previous week. I was with my wife at the time and she had the honor of changing him, a project that went without a hitch as the women's room came fully equipped with a well-stocked changing station.

They will surely receive a letter about this!

And to whom can a stay at home / work at home dad voice this injustice? Oprah? Martha? No, not this heterosexual, Caucasian man! That type of behavior is grounds for immediate revocation of my Man Card.

Such is the plight of the work at home / stay at home dad.

Just staying home isn't an option either; there is not much to stay home for. For decades, daytime television has been taken over by touchy-feely talk shows, soaps, and feminine product commercials. Where are the hunting and fishing shows? What about sports? A good football game would be a great way to break up the barrage of snotty noses and dirty diapers. Speaking of diapers, I would probably wear one too so I wouldn't miss any of the game! Sorry dads but aside from the occasional one o'clock baseball game I am afraid the only action we can look forward to is a cat fight on The View.

However all is not lost! The fight for parental equality has begun and I promise not to quit until every Men's room is equipped with a baby changing station (preferably with NASCAR logos on it) and Hugh Hefner hosts his own talk show every day at 3 PM. All my strength for this cause is drawn from the example set by many nameless, yet brave, women that blazed the trail of equality many decades ago. Women have successfully juggled career and family for ages, now is the time for us dads to be able to prove ourselves up to the same challenge!

If you wish to join in the crusade you now have an outlet for your frustrations! You may contact entrepreneur and fellow dad Mathew Butka at www.VinsDad.com and your opinions will be heard.

Mathew Butka is a work at home dad and entrepreneur. More information can be found at http://www.vinsdad.com

With Some Teens You Love Them Or You Hate Them

Writen by Dr. Gary S. Goodman

Why is it that we have extreme reactions to certain people?

For example, I know a teenager who managed, on the first day of school this year, to offend at least half of his high school teachers.

His Algebra instructor is especially peeved at the boy, perhaps because his pupil passed a similar class a few years ago, already knows the material, and barely disguises his contempt over having to take substantially the same course again and again.

You would think the kid would be at least minimally political about school, smiling every now and then, giving eye contact to his teachers, and keeping his mouth shut for most of the sessions.

But, alas, this is beyond him, not just because he's a teenage boy, though I have it on good authority that this biological condition informs much of his apparent madness.

What really irks his instructors, and I suppose most adults he encounters, is the fact that he's a free spirit.

There, I said it.

He hears the different drummer, literally. As a musician and an artist he hears lots of things that would escape the attention of the average Algebra teacher.

For instance, I doubt very much that this teacher, who is quite knowledgeable in his area, can play piano. Nor do I believe he play violin so well that he tutors others, and is actually considered "gifted" by those that know him in orchestral contexts.

Numerical wizard as that instructor might be, it's also unlikely that he can draw or paint like this boy, who just finished a summer scholarship to a university's advance placement program for talented young artists.

And that, I believe, is why this youth arouses such extreme reactions. It is because he is just that, an artist, and most artists are misunderstood, especially by authority figures whose function it is to socialize them, to normalize them, if you will.

As long as they don't execute him before he graduates, this kid will make his way in life. I believe he'll contribute things that are completely unexpected, and occasionally, delightful, even to the prissiest professors.

But he won't please them by trying. It will occur as an offshoot of being himself, because he's going to be genuine, the real deal, whether adults, now or later, like it or not.

Best-selling author of 12 books and more than 800 articles, Dr. Gary S. Goodman is considered a foremost expert in telephone effectiveness, customer service, and sales development. A top-rated speaker, seminar leader, and consultant, his clients extend across the organizational spectrum, from the Fortune 1000 to small businesses. He can be reached at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

Misplaced Passion

Writen by Carolina Fernandez

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys on my back? Will the result of my action be a blessing or a heavy burden?" --Alfred A. Montapert

It's that time of year again. Plans are underway for end-of-year recitals, end-of-year concerts, and end-of-year teacher appreciation brunches. I'm in the midst of them, getting ready for violin book graduations, three orchestra concerts, and a middle school graduation. The high school has already phoned asking for my contribution to Teacher Appreciation Day.

These are exciting times, but unfortunately they can also be times of unnecessary stress. One reason: misplaced passion.

One of the things brought to my attention over and over again in my ROCKET MOM! seminars is the misplaced passion amongst some very well-intentioned moms. Many of us made the decision to jump off the career track onto the mommy track in an effort to bring some level of sanity to our home lives. And indeed, there is a huge shift in the family paradigm occurring before our eyes. As early as 1994, the "experts" noticed significant changes. James Dobson called it when he said: "Large numbers of women are leaving the workplace and making the sacrifices required to stay home while their children are young. " (1) Barron's called it in their March 21, 1994 cover story a "demographic sea change." And noted trend analyst and author Faith Popcorn, called it when she identified this as a "huge trend." (2) Economist Howard Hayghe called it in 2000 when he reviewed the drop off in working married mothers with a child less than one year old from 59% in 1997 to 53% in 2000, and proclaimed the shift "huge." (3) Lisa Belkin called it in her October 1, 2003 New York Times Magazine feature story: "The Opt-Out Revolution." And Time Magazine called it in their March 22 cover story: "The Case for Staying Home."

Bright, highly educated women are consciously jumping off the career track. 1 in 3 women with M.B.A.'s are not working full-time. (4) Of Harvard Business School's women graduates of '81, '85, and '91—women currently in the fortysomething crowd—only 38% are working full-time. (5) 26% of women at "the cusp of the most senior levels of management" do not want that next promotion. (6) And 51% of GenX moms are home full-time, most who –after first-hand observation of the personal sacrifices made by their own moms in the family-work-balance-equation—decided that the sacrifices were just not worth it. (7)

Much of the passion previously reserved for corporate life is being re-directed into home life. The "brain drain" on the American economy is cycling itself into the American home. I am included in those statistics, having made a similar choice. But I am not interested in pursuing the unfortunate dichotomy of the typical "working-versus-stay-at-home-mom-debate." That's not my point.

It's this: many of today's women who have previously poured their passion into their careers are now looking for outlets in which to re-direct it. In most cases, this passion is being invested with energetic doses into the health and well-being of children and families. And that should be applauded of course.

But in a number of cases—which, unfortunately, are always painfully obvious due to the frustration and downright pain inflicted onto those of us on whom it has been misplaced—women are directing their passion into arenas which have no long-term impact on the health or well-being of the child, no long-term impact on the health or well-being of the family, and no long-term impact on the health or well-being of the community at large.

Let me give you some examples:

• a kindergarten class is having an end-of-year party and the room mom calls all the other moms asking for goodies. One of the moms says she'll be glad to bring sandwiches; the room mom replies that they must be a certain type, cut into fourths and individually wrapped and delivered by x-date and time. The volunteer mom states that she can't do quite that and cheerfully offers to bring something else; the room mom blows her completely off.

• the room mom asks for sweets for the end-of-year party; a mom volunteers to bake and bring brownies (with Ghirdadelli chocolate no less!) and the room mom tells her that she is not accepting brownies…only home-baked cookies. The contribution is denied.

• another room mom tells all volunteers that if they bring cookies they have to be sprinkled with the school colors or they will not be accepted.

• another mom hosting an end-of-year middle school reception tells a volunteer contributing mom that the two large bouquets of flowers brought in for the reception (purchased from a local florist) aren't good enough, and slams the mom—in the presence of other moms—for her effort.

I'm not making these stories up. The flower incident happened to me just last week. Others were shared by disheartened moms in my seminars; many more could be listed. I know you are nodding your head…because every single time I do a seminar, this issue comes up…and every single mom in the room is nodding her head!

This is nothing less than misplaced passion. With some ego thrown in for good measure. These unfortunate moms have lots of energy which they need to use up…but it is mis-directed. Just because one thrived with superb organizational skills in the corporate world does not necessarily mean she will thrive in the naturally chaotic world of families and home life. And managing those working for her on the business organizational chart is an entirely different task than organizing volunteer efforts by the willing and able hands of fellow moms frantically attempting to get through the frustrations of their 24/7 job.

As the end-of-school-year approaches and you are asked to lead a volunteer effort—or to just have one small part in one—please check to see that your passions are appropriately directed. If you are asked to lead an event which requires that you posses the "gift of hospitality," please do not volunteer to head it up if you have the "gift of Attila the Hun"—even if you have the organizational skills of a Fortune 500 CEO. Hosting events requires someone with a pleasant spirit, rather than a competitive or mean-spirited attitude. Before volunteering for anything, make it your firm rule to run it against your life message and your life passions. Is there a natural fit? Or are you volunteering for something because you feel a sense of obligation? Is there any selfish pride or ego going on here? Are you fearful that the efforts of others might reflect unfavorably on you? Does your effort make you tense and highly irritable? If so, you are probably not serving in an area which matches your natural giftedness.

Please be painfully aware that the moms whom you are asking to contribute are undoubtedly sleep-deprived, toddler-fatigued, or carpooled-out. Giving must always be from the heart. Giving should always be done cheerfully and generously. It should never be forced. Be sure that your level of involvement matches your level of passion. If baking cookies for your child's school doesn't float your boat, don't feel guilty about it; volunteer your gifts in a more appropriate way. If organizing luncheons isn't your cup of tea, don't waste another minute thinking about it! Politely decline and offer to serve in another area.

If you have not yet determined your life purpose and your life message, then you have some discernment to do in the days and weeks ahead. Consciously begin thinking about what you were put on this earth to do. Start figuring out where your natural gifts are, and areas where you can best serve others.

And keep a healthy perspective. Keep a cheerful attitude. Most importantly, keep those eyes focused upward. It'll help you put your passions in exactly the right place for service.

NOTES
(1) Dr. James Dobson
(2) Jones, Rachel, "Some working mothers finding they enjoy return to home track." Lexington Herald Leader, May 10, 1996, p. 3.
(3) Wallis, Claudia, "The Case for Staying Home." TIME, March 22, 2004, p. 53.
(4) Ibid.
(5) Belkin, Lisa, "The Opt-Out Revolution." New York Times Magazine, October 26, 2003, http://nytimes.com, p. 3.
(6) Ibid., p. 4.
(7) Wallis, p. 54.

Carolina Fernandez earned an M.B.A. and worked at IBM and as a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch before coming home to work as a wife and mother of four. She totally re-invented herself along the way. Strong convictions were born about the role of the arts in child development; homeschooling for ten years provided fertile soil for devising creative parenting strategies. These are played out in ROCKET MOM! 7 Strategies To Blast You Into Brilliance. It is available on Amazon.com, in bookstores everywhere, or by calling 888-476-2493. She writes extensively for a variety of parenting resources and teaches other moms via parenting classes and radio and TV interviews.

Please visit http://www.rocketmom.com to subscribe to her free ezine and get a weekly shot of inspiration.

Want Your Child To Love Books Go See A Movie

Writen by Brent Sitton

Reading a book from which a movie is made is almost always a richer experience than simply watching the movie. The experience of savoring the words on the page and allowing yourself to be taken on a journey inspired by the author is sublime. As the author paints a picture with words, your imagination fills in the blanks until the voices of the characters and the images of the settings resonate in your mind.

After reading and thoroughly enjoying a well-written book, watching the movie adaptation can be a interesting experience. The voices and images from your imagination are juxtaposed by those created by the actors, the director, and the cinematographer. It's not that the experience of watching a movie adaptation is necessarily bad - it's simply different. It presents a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to your children the difference between words on a page and images on a screen - and to have a great family experience in the process.

Almost without fail, your children will agree that while they enjoyed the movie, the experience created by their own imagination is better. Demonstrating to your child that their imagination is more powerful than a hollywood blockbuster is a very liberating and supportive exercise. Believe it or not, going through this process of reading a great book and seeing the movie actually reinforces your child's love of reading and the use of their imagination!

Between now and the end of the year, there are two opportunities to read a great book and then to see the movie adaptation. The movie, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (PG-13), was released in theaters on November 18, while the movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (PG) as released on December 9.

As a family, take the opportunity to read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire before watching the movie. Discuss which scenes you think will make it into the movie and which they may have to cut. Have family members choose favorite characters, and act out some scenes from the book. These types of activities build excitement and set the stage for seeing the movie together as a family. If you want to go all out, dress in costume to see the movie. Afterwards, discuss how the movie differed from the book, and, more importantly, how it differed from the scenes created in family members' imaginations.

You can follow the same process by reading The Chronicles of Narnia prior to seeing the movie. Younger children may enjoy hearing the classic tale of Chicken Little prior to seeing the Disney movie of the same name. Discuss the moral of the story, and, after watching the movie, talk about how the storyline in the movie demonstrated the principles of the classic.

Brent Sitton is the founder of Discovery Journey, featuring Children's Book and Movie Reviews based on character traits. Reviews include character trait examples and fun and educational Family Activities.

Helping Your Child Cope With A Longterm Illness

Writen by Dr. Charles Sophy

All children will likely have many different health problems during infancy and childhood: the flu, chicken pox, broken bones, stitches, ear infections, to name a few. For most children, these problems are mild – they come and go without incident and with little disruption in a child's daily life or routine. A chronic long-term medical problem is different and often doesn't come alone, as children with serious medical illnesses are at risk of developing associated emotional problems. Learning to live with a chronic medical condition can be very challenging for a child, for parents, and for siblings and friends, and can lead to feelings of anger, fear and depression.

The way children react to diagnosis with a chronic illness depends on several factors, including the child's personality, the specific illness, family emotional dynamic, and the child's age and emotional maturity.

A smaller child may react aggressively as they begin to cope with changes in schedule due to hospital visits and all the new found pampering, and special attention. In usual development, young children are beginning to assert their sense of independence. Dealing with their illness may challenge their developing self-image and cause the child to feel out of control of their world. They counter lack of control over their world by challenging limits set by parents. A young child can also sense the difference in the attention now being lavished on him / her. This special attention may feel much different to the child and may cause them to react negatively in an attempt to stop the pampering.

The adolescent, in the midst of healthy adolescent behavior, may react to a diagnosis much as they would any other factor which inhibits their control – by challenging authority and rebelling against family and friends. It is common for a teenager to choose to discontinue all medical treatments and medications. It is important to help your teenager gain a sense of control of their disease management and respect their decisions, while guiding them to safer decisions.

Let's take a look at Laura:

Laura is 9 yrs old. She had always been an energetic child who had maintained a healthy weight since pre-school. Over the past few months, Laura has lost weight, has become lethargic and frequently complained she was hungry and thirsty. Laura's doctor diagnosed her with insulin-dependent, or Type I, diabetes.

Laura is frightened. Her only knowledge of this disease is watching grandpa give himself his insulin shot. She would often run from the room due to her fear of needles.

Laura's initial treatments must be managed in a clinical environment until her glucose is better managed. While in the hospital she refuses to eat and eventually refuses all visitors. The emotional stress that she experiences only adds to the inability to control her diabetes.

Concerned that her emotional state is indicative of depression, Laura's medical team decides to have her evaluated by the mental health team. Laura cooperates for the visit and recommendations were provided to her doctor.

Laura is asked to attend group sessions for children with diabetes and begins to see children in similar situations. Through her sessions, she is encouraged to communicate her fears and concerns to her family, which are received openly and with love and support. While in the hospital, Laura's grandmother taught her to knit which had a tremendous impact upon her ability to move forward. Her knitting was a new found strength.

Here are some ways to assist your child when faced with chronic illness:

• Communicate: Children need age-appropriate honesty about their illness and treatment

• Self-evaluate: Keep yourself in check; your child understands verbal and non-verbal messages regarding the illness

• Support: Build upon your child's strengths.

• Consult: Rely upon your child's medical team for expertise

Dr. Charles Sophy serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com

Parenting Techniques To Banish Tantrums

Writen by Henrietta Joyce

Today I was working with one of my clients and we were looking at the issue of helping young children deal with their frustrations. She was telling me how her little boy became so frustrated that he would bite himself. Toddlers often find dealing with their emotions really difficult because they are developing new skills. Sometimes they can't find the words to express themselves or they have difficulty mastering a skill because they lack the physical dexterity required for completing some tasks.

We need to understand why children have tantrums and change our attitude to them because tantrums are a horribly normal part of child development. I remember feeling embarrassed and annoyed when my daughter went through the terrible three's stage. When I realised why the tantrums were occurring I was able to minimise them. I noticed her tantrums were usually pent up frustration so I began to teach her how to deal with her emotions. Helping children to deal with their emotions is a valuable life skill that many raging adults have not learnt during childhood.

There are many ways in which we can teach our children how to deal with their emotions. Here are two effective techniques: Firstly we can name the feelings for them. For example I could say, ' Ryan its frustrating when the pencil keeps slipping out of your hand.'

Secondly we can teach them how to use the traffic lights technique. This simple technique works really well. You draw traffic light on a piece of card, the symbols are red - intense feeling, yellow - getting calmer, and green - content or happy. you would ask your child to point to a colour on the traffic light that demonstrated how angry, sad, frustrated he was feeling. Lets take the example of Ryan. I'd ask Ryan to show we on the traffic light how frustrated he was feeling. He would point to red. I'd say to Ryan, 'Right now you are feeling really frustrated.' He'd probably point to the red light on the traffic lights. I'd then encourage Ryan to work on feeling calm again. I would ask Ryan to pretend that there were five candles in front of him and ask him to try blowing the imaginary candles out. I would observe his response until I could see that he was becoming calmer. Then I'd ask him to show me again on the traffic light how he was feeling. We'd carry on blowing imaginary candles until he was back to green on the traffic light.

Finally when Ryan was in a calmer frame of mind I would teach him how to deal with his emotions in a constructive manner. By asking open-ended or multiple choice questions a child can learn how to express his emotions. Helping children deal with their feelings eventually reduces tantrums and empowers them for life.

Henri Joyce teaches effective parenting at the University of Masters, facilitates teleclasses and parenting workshops. She also offers one-to-one and group coaching. For more transformational parenting techniques and to claim some valuable downloads, you can subscribe to her popular newsletter at:http://www.effectiveparenting.co.uk

How To Help Your Kids Succeed In School

Writen by George Stillwell

Few challenges your children will face growing up have as long term consequences as their grades. Grades in junior high determine what courses you take in high school. Grades in high school determine what college you can be accepted in to. Grades in college can affect your first job and whether you start out early in the career of your choice.

Below are some tips to help you help your children perform well in school:

1. Read with your children – Reading is at the heart of all learning. It is never too early to read to your children. Infants benefit form mother/father and baby closeness and learn from the sounds they hear as words are spoken. Toddlers learn new words and sentence structure. Older kids learn pronunciation and word meaning. Once your kids can read, have them trade sentence for sentence with you or read to you. You should read or be read to at least every other day.

2. Help them to develop good study habits early – Homework must always be done before t.v. or video games. Projects must be worked on before the day they are due. Every test and quiz should be studied for. Studying should take place in a quiet location with no distractions.

3. Get involved with your kids' teachers - The best way to know what your kids are being taught is to attend all parent teacher conferences, join the PTO/PTA and even ask your kid's teachers to allow you to sit in on a class. If you have questions about the curriculum, ask. If you have feedback on the curriculum, homework, etc. give it to the teachers. Take notes when you meet with teachers and try your best to follow their suggestions for your children at home.

4. Have siblings help – Having your children help their younger siblings accomplishes two objectives. It helps the younger ones since learning from kids can be very effective. It also help your older kids learn given that one of the best ways for kids to learn is to teach others.

5. Consider public school alternatives – If a traditional public school setting is not working for your child because she needs more personal attention or she lacks the attention span necessary to succeed in a lecture-based teaching program, you may want to consider home schooling or enrollment in a charter school that provides smaller classes and more personalized attention.

6. Make valued activities contingent upon good grades – Making a favorite sporting activity, club or other group activity dependent on studying hard and getting good grades can be a great motivator.

Above all, be involved. A few C's are nothing to be alarmed about, but continued mediocre performance in grade school is a huge warning sign that your child may not be getting everything he needs from school. If children struggle through elementary school, they lack the foundation needed for junior high and high school. Sub-par performance in high school virtually guarantees difficulty in college.

Making it clear that school work is a priority is often enough to motivate your children to work hard. When parents stay involved with homework, grades and lesson plans it virtually guarantees that their children will work harder to get the most out of school.

(excerpted from www.parentingskills21stcentury.com)

George Stillwell is a father of five children ages 2 through 16. His popular web site is http://www.parentingskills21stcentury.com