Positive Role Models For Your Child

Writen by Cassie Martin

Children naturally look for role models to shape their attitudes and behaviors. As parents, it is important for us to make sure that they have plenty of positive role models.

There are enough negative role models surrounding our children - and much of the adult world can be negative, apathetic or mediocre. If we don't actively focus on positive role models, then these other ones can dampen our children's natural enthusiasm and optimism.

The first thing to remember about positive role models for your child is that - despite anecdotal evidence to the contrary - statistical studies demonstrate that the overwhelming majority of children consider their own parents to be their most important role models. This is true not only for young children but even teenagers. So the most important thing we can focus on as parents is to be great, positive role models ourselves.

* Show your child that you actively work on a positive attitude

* Let your child see you setting and achieving goals

* Talk to your child about your own positive role models

One thing to shy away from where role models are concerned - be careful not to overtly criticize when your child has identified with certain role models himself, even if you have a problem with them! If your child looks up to an unsavory pop star, your criticism could cause antagonism rather than learning. Instead, provide a balanced point of view by seeking out something positive to mention about the "hero" - for instance that he must have been very dedicated to his goals to reach his current status. When you need to criticize, be as specific as you can and explain what you dislike about the person's behaviour, rather than trying to label them as all bad.

More ways to expand the positive role models available to your child include:

* Help your child to find a role model who has excelled in a field in which your child has a talent or hobby

* Talk to your child about social issues and then show them real people - either local to your community, or in the news - who have worked to make a difference

* Introduce your child to people you think will be good role models, and talk about the admirable qualities of these people

* Together with your child, find role models from history and make a scrap book or collage about the ones that excite or interest your child the most

* When you see your child demonstrating a behavior that he associates with a particular positive role model that you have talked about, praise him!

* Encourage your child to daydream, imagining himself in his hero's shoes. For example, if your boy wants to be a great golfer, when you take him to the putting green or driving range, suggest that he pretend that he is Tiger Woods for the afternoon

"No printed word, nor spoken plea can teach young minds what they should be. Not all the books on all the shelves - but what the teachers are themselves." --Rudyard Kipling

"It takes a village to raise a child." -- Old African Proverb

Cassie Martin is co-editor of http://www.kidsgoals.com, a dynamic website for parents. Self esteem building and goal setting for kids, parenting advice and resources, educational games, crafts and learning activities for kids and preschoolers.

Cassie has also co-authored "How to Help Your Child Succeed", a revolutionary approach to guilt-free parenting available at http://www.kidsgoals.com/chldsuc.shtml

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