Writen by Dr. Charles Sophy
With the newborn Year barely a week old, our minds are still filled with the promises of all the year will hold. Parents and children alike want to start the New Year off right. For adults practiced at the art of reflection and introspection, we resolve to make changes in our lives and work towards achieving our goals. Sadly, our resolutions are more often than not an indication of a loss of balance in our lives. For children, the task of taking stock of their lives can be challenging. They need our help to learn quiet reflection and balance and require direction towards helping them achieve their goals.
As parents, our role is to first reflect on our own lives and strike the correct balance between our heads and our hearts – find the work / life balance that allows us to live our lives to the fullest. Balance in our lives is of paramount importance. Parents that can teach, guide and love their children from a place of balance will have a much more favorable and loving relationship with their children.
Let's meet Josephine:
Josephine is 8 yrs old and in the 3rd grade. She has been struggling in school for the last several months. Her behavior has deteriorated to the point that she is argumentative with her teachers and peers. In addition to the increase in personal conflicts, the quality of homework assignments has dropped tremendously. These changes are extremely unusual for Josephine. Always a well-behaved and co-operative child, she rarely had conflicts with her peers and always completed homework assignments successfully.
School officials suggested to Josephine's parents that she meet with a counselor to discuss the changes in her behavior to see if they could determine the root cause. Anxious to assist their child, Josephine's parents agreed to the evaluation. Through talks with Josephine, it was discovered that there had been some changes in her home environment: Mom had recently returned to work and, as a result, Dad had been providing more child care then he used to provide. Also Mom and Dad have been experiencing some disconnect and challenges over several personal issues that did not pertain to Josephine.
Clearly, the family dynamics have reached a point that elements in the family unit are no longer in balance. Josephine's parents need to resolve their own feelings about Mom's return to work as well as the shift in the balance of life / work for both parents. Once the parents have restored balance in their own lives, they can assist Josephine with adjusting to the changes and restoring her sense of balance.
Here are 4 tips to keep awareness of balance in focus:
1) Discipline with knowledge. Know what you want to achieve and the best way to get it.
2) Anger awareness. Be aware of your own anger and prevent it from your distraction.
3) Practice good judgment. Make your decisions in a good mind space.
4) Take a deep breath and think before reacting.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California. Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the best by those in attendance.
Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at http://drsophy.com.
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