Mommies Are Humans

Writen by Marsha Maung

I remember the first time I burst out in anger at my young baby at the ripe ole age of 2 months, the first thing to strike me is the feeling of GUILT. All throughout the initial month or so after birth, I felt that I must achieve a level of superhuman strength, patience, endurance and tolerance. "Being a mother is like that", I was told. Like what? Like a superhuman?

Not knowing what my baby wanted at that point in time left me feeling helpless. I tried everything within my power to satisfy him and ensure that his needs are answered. His cry is never left unanswered. I felt this urgent need to make sure he's smiling, goo-gooing, and laughing all the time. The moment he is fussy, I panic.

In the face of such a difficult situation, mothers will often feel helpless and may not know what to do. When they've exhausted all tricks in the book of positive parenting, they'll start feeling frustrated. And when the feeling of frustration surfaces, the mother may feel a certain level of guilt that she is feeling angry with her innocent baby.

What I am trying to say here is that a mother is also a human being. When you don't know what to do and are feeling a little panicky, it's ok to ask for help. And when you do, do so with your heart and willingness to listen. Give yourself the opportunity to vent out your frustrations, to cry, to ask for help, to understand that you do not know everything, and to embrace the concept that mothers needs time out too.

Perhaps the best thing to do at that point in time is to take a couple of minutes to breathe in and out, ask someone to take over (if there's someone there) and if you're alone, cradle your baby or swaddle him/her until he/she stops crying and rock yourself (and your baby back and forth). Just calm yourself down and allow yourself the chance to feel angry.

Mothers do not have to know everything. With the birth of your baby, you do not instantly have to transform into a saint. You're allowed to make mistakes and the most important thing is to learn from those mistakes. You're allowed to scream, stomp around like an angry toddler refused the last cookie before bedtime, you're allowed to call your girlfriends and complain about how fussy your baby is, you're allowed to tell your mother that your baby is driving you up the wall.

Feel no guilt but feel pride that you've come this far. Once you've given the emotion a chance to get out of your system, you will be in a better position to deal with the real issue.

Happy mothering!

Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She loves nothing more than blowing bubbles in the park with her 2 kids, Joshua and Jared. She designs apparel and premium items at http://www.allmomstuff.com and is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com.