Writen by Steve Farmer
1. Focus on outcomes not problems
Each member of the family needs to understand and communicate what their desired outcome is in any situation. In this way every part of your family team can move toward that objective rather than focus on the reasons why it can not happen.
2. Focus on feedback not failure
When sharing negative information always deliver it in a constructive way. Share how things could be better not how they went wrong.
3. Focus on Possibilities – Possibilities are endless
Keep your family looking to the future and not to the past. The future is yet to happen so you have the chance to change it. The past can only be remembered and learned from.
4. Understand roles
Clearly communicate that every part of the family has a role to play. Remember that the roles can and will change. Admit as a parent you don't know it all (at least to yourself). Define your own weakness and supplement them with the help of others.
5. Delegate
Letting go of the belief that the parent must always be the leader is very difficult but must be done. It is important for you as a parent and your children that you recognize that Kids can do stuff. Hand in hand with this you must also learn to "Be there when you are there". Too often adults are physically present but disengaged in their children's activities.
6. Be positive
Set positive goals that the family believes are achievable and worthwhile. It is much easier to move toward something then it is to move away from something. Frequently smile, laugh at yourself, and play with kids and adults just for the joy of it
7. Have clear visions
What do you as a family stand for? What does it mean to be part of the family? Clarify expectations so everyone understands and buys in to them. Be clear on what you need to happen not what you want to happen. When is good enough, enough and when is perfection required?
8. Continue to learn and grow
Things change so change with them. The world is not he same as it was last year or five years ago or ten. So why do your actions and responses have to be the same. People grow and change that is the miracle of our lives. The relationship you have and the role you played in the life of your 2 year old son is different when he is 12 and 20. Anticipate problems that will happen as your family grows and changes and plan your response.
9. Recognize people don't function in a vacuum Communicate - Communicate
Share your ideas from your head and heart. It is just as important for the family to understand each others motivations and intentions. Listen 2 times as much as you talk that's why god gave you 2 ears and only 1 mouth.
10. Go after what you want - ACT
Action is better then inaction. Model this behavior and the rest of the family will do the same. Never forget COURAGE is taking action in spite of fear not being fearless.
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Steve Farmer is a leader in the field of Parent Coaching. As a skilled professional coach, he brings the power of individual coaching to family living. In our frequently over stressed and under involved society, he empowers parents to raise confident, self-reliant, and happy children.
A devoted parent himself, Steve understands the many demands and challenges facing today's parent. He also knows that amidst the chaos, parents sometimes need support in maintaining both their sanity and a balanced life. Steve helps parents find solutions to their parenting problems.
Steve can be reached at his website www.innovations4life.com
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