Writen by Andrea Patten
What happens to our thinking when we look at ideas and behaviors in other contexts? It can certainly add new dimensions to our outlook.
For example, when we think about 'discipline' and 'dogs' most of us think in terms of obedience training. "Sit. Stay."
How often have thought about what the family dog can teach you?
Many parents seem to have grown uncomfortable with their role as family leaders, perhaps not fully appreciating its importance. Always a comfort, the family dog may be able to help you here, too.
Dogs have strong instincts about rules, order and etiquette as they relate to preserving the pack. So, for example, when a new puppy tries to take its place within a family, an older dog will make clear the rules and boundaries.
There are lots of rules. Puppies learn them all – quickly. "Here's where you can sleep. I greet the humans first. You get the second cookie and that's my squeaky toy – you can never, ever touch it." The consequences for messing up? The alpha voices his or her disapproval – with loud, dramatic barking and growling… and an occasional bite for the one who just doesn't 'get it.'
Alphas can have different styles but have much in common:
1) They don't nag – their 'word' (or look or growl) is law. Punishment for disobeying is swift and sure.
2) Alphas don't feel guilty! They know that the survival of the pack rests squarely on their ability to teach their pups proper behavior.
3) Alpha dogs do not need the pups' approval. They've got a job to do and they don't seem to care who likes or approves of them while they're getting it done.
4) Discipline takes a variety of forms – sometimes it's loud and dramatic, sometimes it's a 'time out' away from the rest of the pack…. sometimes it's just that raised eyebrow to remind the offending youngster of previous go-rounds.
5) They are fair. The intensity of the correction always matches the offense.
Families need strong, fair leadership. Kids need to know what the boundaries are and that there are consequences for violating them. And while I surely don't advocate turning family management over to our beloved pets, there's a lot they can teach us.
Andrea Patten is the co-author of What Kids Need to Succeed: Four Foundations of Adult Achievement now available on Amazon.com
To find out more about The Four Foundations of Adult Achievement please visit http://www.whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
If you'd like to learn about other projects or explore the possibility of having Andrea speak to your group go to http://www.andreapatten.com
She can also be reached by e-mail andrea@whatkidsneedtosucceed.com
"You're not raising a child, you're raising a future adult!"
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