Writen by Jonni Good
Although the decision to give up a child is always heart-wrenching, it can be a "win-win" solution to two painful problems. Adoption is a legal process that gives adoptive parents rights and aresponsibilities and the adoptive child social, legal and emotional rights as a family member.
Putting a child up for adoption allows the child's birth mother to continue with schooling or career, and she has a chance to create a stable home life before taking on the responsibility of motherhood.
More and more adoptions are including the birth mother as a permanent part of the child's future, which makes the decision easier for the biological parents, but may make it more difficult for the adopting parents.
Of the approximately 120,000 children that are adopted by U.S. citizens every year, about half are adopted by people who are not related to the child. The other half re by grandparents, step parents, or other family members.
Both biological and adoptive parents should carefully consider the decision. If you are thinking that adoption may be the best solution for your baby, you should decide how much contact, if any, you would like to have with your child in the future. If you would like to stay connected, find an adoption agency that specializes in open adoptions. Find out from the agency or attorney if you will be able to choose your baby's new parents, or determine their race, age or economic status.
If you want to adopt a child, you will also need to make many difficult decisions, and take a good look at your own situation and expectations. Can you afford a child with special needs, for instance, or would you be comfortable adopting an older child from the foster care system? Some prospective parents believe an older child would bring joy to their home, but others have carefully looked at their feelings, and know they could only bond with an infant.
Parenting does require financial security and a safe, stable home. However, a child doesn't need "perfect" parents and adoption agencies don't make unreasonable requirements. You will not be automatically disqualified if you are single, divorced, parenting other children, or because you have a disability. Some adoption agencies will consider working with gay and lesbian families. You do not need to own your own home or be wealthy or highly educated.
You do need to have tons of love available. A half-ton of patience would help, too.
If you are trying to adopt an infant, especially a Caucasian infant, you may find additional restrictions because of such a high demand. If you are interested in adopting a Native American child and are not yourself a Native American, you may be disqualified. Some agencies encourage cross-race adoptions, while others do not.
Adoption agencies are located in almost every city, and some attorneys specialize in adoption law. Referrals are recommended.
Both biological and adopting parents should carefully research the adoption process before contacting an agency or an attorney. The more you know about how adoptions work, the more sure you can be of having your needs met.
Both biological and adopting parents should also consider finding a support group, so you'll have others in your situation to talk to. This is one of the biggest decisions in your life, and it's common to have no family members or friends who have ever made this decision. It helps relieve the stress if you join a group of people who understand exactly what you're going through.
If you're a teen mother, or if your pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned, adoption agencies will have many prospective parents on their waiting lists. The waiting time for adopting parents is likely to be much. Since many unwed mothers are now choosing to terminate their pregnancy or to keep the child, prospective adoptive parents can expect to wait up to two to three years.
Biological parents will probably have their medical costs paid by the adoption agency. Adopting parents may find programs that help cover the expense of adoption. The Federal Adoption Tax Credit was $10,630 in 2005. Some employers are also offering financial assistance to adopting parents. Employers may offer loans, family leave, and health benefits.
Jonni Good is the publisher of 1 Teen Pregnancy.com where she provides more information on common pregnancy questions from teens, the early symptoms of pregnancy, and pregnancy nutrition. Visit her website at www.1teenpregnancy.com |
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